Tell me your pov: why anon?

chubbybunny

I see a lot of profiles that have no info at all. It makes me wonder why? Is it a fear of rejection or insecurity? Is cuddling frowned upon where you live? Some other reason I can't think of? Let me know why. I'd like to learn a different point if view.

Catloaf

I can't speak for all profiles with no info, but it could be laziness, unwillingness to expose any info about oneself out of the fear of being recognised, or probably the more common reason that a lot of these profiles are blank because they just wanted to sign up and see what we're about without investing much effort. I don't think a lot of blank blokes end up staying around very long, because many would like to glean some info before they just start chatting with someone, and blankness just screams hey, I'm not open.. They could also be spying or stalking someone as I have had happen to me. Honestly, there are a myriad of reasons.

UKGuy

If they are new. it might be they just haven't gotten around to it yet. If they are not new, who knows why, and I doubt whether they will contribute to the forums. I've even seen profiles that say "I have no idea what to put here". People are apt to fill out a questionnaire but ask them to come up with something creative and they draw a blank.

I will admit, I been on for a year and now recently put a little something to give myself some depth. I would say, it is a part factor of people not putting in time, but to be honest, these things are a bit overwhelming.

hogboblin

I think that blank profiles are part of a hive mind—individual components of a mechanical whole, created and maintained to gather information on those who use this site. Why? For some nefarious purpose, doubtless.

pmvines

You must create a profile to tool around and check out what the site is about. Many people.are curious but not really interested in committing to anything.

DaForceofNature

I recently ran across a blank profile local to me, that it turns out, I've cuddled with. But He was referred to me from another website. The set up here is so different than the other one, I suspect insecurity & not wanting to put in the work here is why He didn't put much in the profile here. He was pleasant & respectful the first cuddle but really pushed boundaries the 2nd time which was disappointing. The fact that there is accountability here makes this place less attractive to the boundary pushers.

OhioMike

As long as the no picture, no self summary, and bare minimum facts profile doesn't complain about how challenging t it is to find someone to cuddle.....then I think its perfectly fine to have an anonymous bare bone profile.

BlueIris

@OhioMike - Not put in any effort and not complain? That will happen exactly never!

For me it’s about other people thinking it’s weird. Sure, I know there’s nothing wrong with it but I’m dealing with a lot right now and other people who disagree with this shouldn’t be one of them. If someone I know finds my profile on here, I just don’t want to have to defend it. I share photos privately when I initiate contact. Haven’t met anyone in person though. Most females here are either catfish or untagged pros (in my experience. I know that’s not the case for everyone).

OhioMike

@letscuddleasap , since you have blocked me, I can't view or comment on your profile. I do understand about the profile picture though. I can see many reasons why people do not want to put their photo on this site.

I am sorry to hear that your experience so far has been females that are either catfish or untagged pros. I do not know when you joined the CC site. Sometimes it takes awhile to meet people. I hope it gets better for you.

chubbybunny

@zensounds and @UKguy considering most people, inluding me for a long time have something along the lines of “I like to cuddle while watching tv” I’m not sure overwhelming creativity is required. Lol but that is an interesting idea. Thanks

@chubbybunny, My pleasure. I feel a little depth does not hurt, everything else is already set for a mystery by the nature of being in cyberspace, I feel. Now, I feel I may have put TOO much on mine, second guessing things now LOL.

chubbybunny

@letscuddleasap that makes sense. Tangential question, I’ve noticed a trend of calling women females lately? Any thoughts on how that came about? That’s another thing I always was curious to know.

Catloaf

That's a thing? I have always referred interchangeably between calling men males and women females. I'm not sure why I get flack for it. I just like to vary up verbiage, and see them as just words. I too am curious, but more specifically why it's considered politically incorrect, or otherwise if I'm getting in over my head. What bothers me in particular is when grown men and women over the age of adolescence are called boys or girls. Super creepy and demeaning.

chubbybunny

@catloaf normally female is an adjective as in female firefighter, the new trend letscuddleasap used is using the word female as a noun instead of saying women. It’s gramatically awkward to say “Most females are either catfish or untagged pros” when the sentence is arguably more understandable using “Most women are either catfish or untagged pros”. As it’s an adjective it’s not immediately clear who the subject is, is it a female woman? Or a female puppy? One is more plausible but both are possible in the female sentence whereas if they had just used women it would be more clear.

I don’t really judge, there’s a lot of dialects. I’ve just been seeing the usage crop up more over the last year and was curious where it came from. Like if I hadn’t learned what Yolo ment yet.

Cuddle ASAP blocked me over that lol so I guess I’ll never know.

It’s been really cool reading everyone’s POV on the anon, and now yours on using female.

chubbybunny

@zensounds I feel you on overthinking everything profile wise. I kinda feel like mine comes off a little mean sometimes ^^;; but when I put it nicer people just kind of skipped straight to creepy. Oof. I think you did a good job on yours though, looks nice ?

OhioMike

@chubbybunny -you're the OP ! How'd you get blocked? Blocking is really gaining traction lately!

OhioMike

My Cincinnati Bengals could use some of this blocking! Lol

yes im a long long suffering fan!

laylanie

It really has been a context thing that I've noticed when it comes to using the word females/males. From experience, usually the person that use those words in that fashion tend to follow up with something negative shortly afterwards.

In southern speak, it's the new "bless your heart"

Mostly just stuff that others have said already but reckon it comes down to any of the following:

• some laziness
• wanting to check things out on the site
• privacy? there are plenty of profiles without pictures, but this doesn't really apply to ones without text. It's not a matter of privacy if you aren't required to write about very personal and identifying things BUT on the flip side some people might not be comfortable talking about themselves without having pictures because they feel it's impersonal or they don't want to seem dodgy which seems self defeating but humans aren't that simple in what we feel or do so ehh.
• non committal. Rather than just wanting more info about the site, this is down to flakiness and indecision rather than pure curiosity.
• for a joke. Small number, but I can imagine some people after hearing about a site called cuddlecomfort will just laugh and want to have a look.

It's very easy to pigeonhole people's intentions to a single thing based on their actions, and it feels good to do so to a degree (confirmation bias and all) and assume they're just lazy but the world is both sadly and thankfully more complicated than that. I know for sure that when I started out on dating sites I assumed every blank dating profile, or profile repeating the same stuff as all the others was just due to laziness or lack of effort but it comes down to a similarly wide list of things.

Morpheus

I don’t have a personal picture for privacy reasons. Sadly there are many people in the world that are judgemental and although I’m a huge proponent of cuddling, I choose to not expose myself and my cuddle persona to the world. As far as why I say very little in my profile, I’ve changed it from time to time. I used to say much more but I’m really not concerned anymore with what’s on my profile. I think there is also such a thing as too much on a profile.

JasonCuddles

It could also be that people are tired of having their information mined and sold to everyone that is willing to pay, or used in ways they would disagree with.

Rexagon

I'm here to cuddle. The website propaganda says that all it takes. Sign-up and cuddle. We're all here for the same reason. To nonjudgementally satisfy the need for physical contact.
I'm curious, how do you use profiles? What purpose do they serve for you?

@Rexagon Profiles serve the purpose of putting information about yourself out there. Not just identifying information, but also information that lets others more easily and accurately judge whether they'd be comfortable cuddling with you and/or whether they'd get along with you in a general sense.

Like you said, the "propaganda" says sign up and cuddle but that's not really how people work. Safety is a concern, and in a site with a large number of cuddlers being picky is something that's both expected and in a way required to maintain the quality of said cuddles. If everyone was randomly paired up with someone in their area for cuddles then everything outside of the actual cuddling could very easily go wrong - nobody would feel safe or comfortable with the system, the people involved could have nothing in common to talk about and bond over etc.

OhioMike

I think the "website propaganda " emphasizes communicating well and successfully ,will lead you to cuddling someone here.

UKGuy

@chubbybunny - 'Female' and 'Male' as nouns have been in use for hundreds of years. In fact, Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem in 1911 called "The Female of the Species". There was a movie in 1967 entitled "Deadlier Than the Male", an excellent movie by the way.

laylanie

Hmm... Cuddle roulette.. I wouldn't mind the concept as long as there was a way to have people put through a vetting process prior.

I usually don't mind meeting a new person It is just I tend to trust folks that I have reached out to first than the other person reaching out to me. If the initiation of conversation was randomized like a pen pal app thing where you send a message in a bottle and someone randomly gets it, I think it would be an interesting concept...

Of topic a bit but honestly, I kinda lost track well after the OP.....
Oh! Blank profiles! Right! My theory is that its like a PG version of voyeurism and just want to see what the site is about. The other thought is simply "I just tell the person about myself directly when I get aaaaaallll the cuddles" like they're a dragon, protecting their precious details and waiting for someone to try and take it from their cold, dead claws. Really though, the dragon has been waiting for the day that someone would attempt because the dragon really doesn't know how to share their wealth, and the Knights aren't gonna come to the yard because... Well they're probably in the yard with the milkshakes on display with all the details included....

Yeah.. This metaphor got out from under me but it might at least be funny.

Rexagon

Well said, @laylanie. I like the dragon metaphor. Only the brave, or (crossing that fine) the foolish, dare wake the dragon.
Personally, I like the blank profiles. They save a lot of time 'cause, I'm a slow reader. I have to invest a lot of time in these long profiles only to find, at the very end, the one thing that sparks the "oh, never mind" nerve. Short profiles are good, too. Some simply stand as walls. But with blank profiles the possibilities are endless. Too endless for many, I'm sure. They really draw upon my own creativity in considering how to break the ice, or skate on by.
As for pictures, I don't want to be limited by visual prejudices. Perhaps I just want to be (or at least pretend that I am) open to cuddling someone truly platonicly.

laylanie

@Rexagon that is true. I do appreciate the info on the bio, it probably would save some time of segmenting out a bio in the second paragraph for things you know someone wouldn't want to meet you for (e.g. Greedo shot first, can't stand smokers, patriots fan... I'm not even a sports person so I don't know if that might be a factor...)
Maybe that's too negative a thing to put up on a bio, but I usually appreciate the honest factor.

PaulaDahla

When I first signed up I had a very detailed profile also, now it's basically just a statement. Besides I get messages from people all the time mentioning a comment of mine in these posts; I feel that my comments give a general idea of my personality more than a small space of carefully crafted words anyway. Oh, and many of those anonymous profiles do read these forums.
As far as pictures go, everything that's posted publicly here of my actual image is either out in cyberspace already or an image I don't mind being out there. I actually do have many more friends and private photos and so far I haven't seen them floating around the internet so that's the way I manage my image. @Rexagon I frequently make initial judgements based on appearance. But so far I've been able to overcome the platonic/nonplatonic bit. I do it by always reminding myself to "see the person inside the skin suit", or "cuddling means I don't have to worry about if I'm ready for sex" a massive consideration for women, that has a whole regime attached to it.

I also agree with the whole calling men and women over a certain age boys or girls. To me a 65 yo overweight balding man is not a boy; neither am I at this point in my life. I think boys and girls imply a certain innocence ~ that the general population will allow room for behaving badly due to age and inexperience. In this age and sociatial era I'm not even comfortable calling preteens those terms any longer. Too much exposure to the web has drastically reduced the age of girls and boys IMO, I'll now call most 12 or 13 year olds young women or young men, probably younger if I had to actually pick a number.

Taking that thought one step farther and circling back as well; the term "boys" when used for older men well into middle age does exactly that. It implies that because they are acting like "boys" that society around them will excuse their willful bad behavior. Usually the term "boys" only comes out when a grown man is up to no good.