Transgender pros

Morpheus

There are more and more transgender pros on this site and they aren’t divulging that information. I do not have a problem with anyone as a matter of fact I have two transgender employees. I am curious to know the thoughts of some of the male clients on this site. What would your reaction be if you thought you were cuddling with a genetic female and found out you were with was a transgender female. Do you think that they should be upfront with this information? I personally am a straight male and would cuddle with a transgender female if the chemistry was right but I would like to know the truth if we are going to be in such an intimate setting.

“There are more and more transgender pros on this site and they aren’t divulging that information” lol you must have a very keen eye for spotting transgender cuddlers.
I think it should be divulged by the cuddler that they’re transgender before the first meeting. If the cuddler doesn’t want to mention it in their profile for the public to see that is understandable.

cuddleversed

I think that information should be disclosed before a potential meeting and if is not on the pro’s profile page it should be part of the first message after a potential client has sent an inquiry about a session.

Catloaf

Obviously I'm not male, but here's my .02. I think this is sort of on the same lines as people who were outright lying about being married or their spouse being aware. If the client wants that information to be transparent before they agree to cuddle with someone that's totally their right in my opinion. Though it's not hard to figure out why a transgender person might not want to share that information and at the least might be hesitant to do so, I think that being blatantly dishonest is often more of a hindrance than a help. In the situation you describe where the person hides the fact till the last minute, many of these folks have been killed or badly beaten and abused by the person they were with. Not to say that it was their fault or could have been avoided if they were telling the truth, but it may actually keep them safer by being honest from the get go.

MisterTea

My opinion- if they are post op they do not need to disclose they are transgender unless they want to. You won’t feel a boner and wonder why this woman has a penis.

WhatsBrewing

I, for one, would be happy.
As long as the conversation is good and the touch is gentle. This is all platonic anyways, isn't it?
I don't have many transgender friends, it would be good to make one, and understand their feelings and perspectives first hand!

When I first joined the site there were at least 2 Trans pros, maybe 3 who clearly stated that in their profiles.

One was the beloved Rei who is no longer with us (deactivated, not dead) who was beautiful inside and out with an incredible soul. Tho they probably got harassed (like many other women on here do) they were kind of a beacon of light for others to be brave and confident in who they are.

For Trans Pros I guess it's a question of timing. Do they have the information in their profile? Do they talk to prospects and get around to informing them? Tricky and sticky but because money is involved I'm assuming it's an inevitable chat.

I recently did a search and apparently no Trans Pros are within 300 miles of LA.

Fiddlesticks.

Ontherun

I cuddled with one not knowing. Then later I saw in a forum where it was stated by the person that the person was a transgender. Wish I had known that since I would have selected a different pro.

PaulaDahla

@Ontherun so if you cuddled with one not knowing then obviously you couldn't tell that she was formally or is still genetically a man. No red flags or billy clubs raised during the session? Nothing poking you anywhere?

Was it a good cuddle? Did you enjoy the amount of conversation? Were you relaxed and feeling good afterward? When you thought she was still a woman?

Then like Brewer states above...so what? It's platonic only. Why would you be worried about what's real or not below the clothes? It's still the same person you had a great cuddle session with, the only thing changed is your perspective, which is a fungus and will pop up in any dark, dingy, place. Kick out the thought that your cuddle buddy you enjoyed cuddling with was born with a penis and cuddle who she is now.

The end

Now let me say thanks OntheRun, for allowing yourself to be the name of every other man on here who's cuddled a TG without realizing it. I'm aiming this generally and not at you specifically.

Men, there are so many options to women to enhance they're bodies; padded bras, spanx, padded underwear. I've seen ads for penile enhancements, underwear with special pockets, even padded shorts for men. I routinely stuffed my bra when i was younger and cared what the opposite sex thought.

This is a platonic, non sexual touch site. It really doesn't matter what under the clothes, just the person in them. That's all and how you two get along.

Ontherun

I did notice during the cuddle that the the facial skin looked off but I didn't stare. It's about my choice and about transparency. I wouldn't want to cuddle with any of my male buddies. Even thought it's platonic I would never choose to cuddle with any of my male friends let alone pay for the service. I am paying money so the least I should expect is transparency. There have been other sessions with transparency issues like a pro using a completely different photo and the bio didn't match the pro at all.

DaForceofNature

Ugh.

Sashamcgee

Due to the OP asking for male client opinions I have chosen to take my opinion off of this thread.

It is not your money, so it is unfair to tell people what is “important” in choosing a pro. Appearance matters to most men paying to use this service.
Also, most men do not believe a woman with a penis is actually a woman like you do.
People with extremely liberal views like you often come off as the most bigoted to me. So intolerant and dismissive of other people’s world view.

Sashamcgee

^^

Platonic means non-sexual but does it mean looks do not matter? Because most people in society try to look presentable even in platonic settings- like hanging with friends or family.

BashfulLoner

I think it should be disclosed early. I think that most of us have a long way to go to be comfortable with the entire transsexual acceptance that we are having in the world. Also people need to be understanding that it’s not that easy to relearn what you know for a life time just because people are being more accepting of it. Speaking for myself, i don’t know if I’ve ever met a transsexual, don’t know how I’d act if i did. Let me restate that, i absolutely know a family member who is transsexual but since that choice was made has remained distant from the family. I have to admit, I’d probably use the wrong pronouns, I’d probably use the name I’ve know since i was a child, unintentionally. And that makes me uncomfortable so to face that with a stranger would also make me uncomfortable. Maybe one day I’ll have experienced and learned enough for it to not be a thing but it’s a thing right now. People should understand that. Let me choose to broaden my horizons or not, especially in such an intimate setting.

bSweet

@BashfulLoner by far the best answer on this post.

pmvines

I agree with @BashfulLoner , in that we cannot expect that because something doesn't make us uncomfortable doesn't mean it is going to apply to everyone. And just because someone doesnt feel comfy cuddling someone who is trans or of the same gender does not mean they are prejudice toward them, it just means that is not their preference for sharing close intimate space. Nothing wrong with that. Even though I have my own thoughts and views on LGBT, I realize it is shaped through my own lifes experiences and systems of belief. I was raised around LGBT people, had friends in the community as a child and still do as an adult. However I admit as part of the older generation, there are aspects I am not used to and not sure I completely understand, one thing for example being all the labels ways folks self identify. Even my LGBT friends who too are a little bit longer in the tooth don't completely get it. Even someone as open as myself is at risk of offending these days. My sons girlfriend is female but identifies as male, however my son still calls her his girlfriend even though he refers to her as he, him, etc, and is very much still feminine. So I just ask how is your friend and are you happy, figure staying vague is the best way to not say the wrong thing lol.

BashfulLoner

I also think those in the lgbtq+ community should be willing to realize that as it took them time to come to grips with their identity, it’s going to take the rest of us to do it as well. Since it doesn’t affect us directly it will take time. Maybe it’s not fair, it’s not but it is the way it is. I grew up thinking away I’m ashamed of now in this regard, but i learned and continue to learn.
So ladies please don’t just put your penis on me when I’m not expecting it. I feel the same goes for the ladies with 4 breast don’t surprise me with this, although i may not mind it i just might. @pmvines @bSweet thanks.

DaForceofNature

I'd like to try and join this conversation again, even though, I'm not male.
The issue for me about TransFolx needing to "disclose early" is that it's a medical condition that's truly none of your business. Some will say it's a mental condition, which there is is an element of that as well(dysphoria is a bitch).
So... Should you all also be required to "disclose early" when you have some medical condition that is not contagious? If you have diabetes or a heart condition, especially if it'st not managed well, I should be told! so if you have an episode while we are cuddling, I know how to act to assist you.
**I can understand that people have preferences in regards to looks and size, but if you've connected with a person and enjoy them and want to cuddle them, why do you become obsessed with knowing their biological genitals? **

BashfulLoner

@DaForceofNature i don’t think it’s an obsession to know about the genitals, how ever it is a thing where you’d force a person to be in a situation they’d choose not to be in. If they had a choice it wouldn’t Feel like a violation.

I’m not sure i have an answer of what trans people should do, but i know a position I’d not like to be in.

Societal norms have to be tried, tested and adjusted but until that happens it’s going to be an uncomfortable situation for everyone.

I don’t think anyone’s to blame but dialogue is going to have to happen, people will learn to be comfortable with others orientation just as transgender people are now becoming comfortable with it themselves.

DaForceofNature

I appreciate the thoughtful responses @BashfulLoner please know. my next comment is not directed at you, but at the whole trans conversation in general. And then my own annoyance about the whole thing.

Have you ever noticed that this conversation almost always only focuses on women? What if I wanted to cuddle a man, and I connected with a really nice attractive one. We cuddle, and it's amazing! But, OMG he didn't get a hard on during our session. Now I feel violated because he didn't disclose that he's trans.

Aside from biological preference, what are you really afraid of if you cuddle a trans woman? Especially, If she passes well enough to "fool" you into a cuddle session?

Morpheus

@DaForceofNature so are you saying that every male that cuddles, gets an erection when cuddling?

BashfulLoner

@DaForceofNature you are correct, the conversation is only one way normally, but i think it’s because men are more triggered by the thought. It’s not that i ( or other men) are afraid to cuddle a trans woman , i think it would be upsetting. It might trigger an emotion in myself I’m not comfortable with, that’s just speaking for myself. I’d feel taken advantage of personally but it’s only because I’ve never been confronted with the situation.

But the other comment, I’m not sure if you’d expect Everyman to get an erection when they cuddle, but i wouldn’t in most cases. Not saying it’s not possible but I’d enter into a cuddle with my mind not wanting to be on sex appeal. At least try, but i haven’t had many cuddles through this service so i may be speaking too soon.

DaForceofNature

I can completely relate to the uncomfortable feeling when confronted with an unexpected response to a platonic scenario.
Of course not all men get erections while cuddling, but enough do that it's more the norm, than the exception. That's been my personal experience at least.

BashfulLoner

I don’t like to frustrate myself personally so I’d hope i wouldnt

pmvines

I will play devils advocate with this as I do feel it is a touchy subject for some on both sides of the coin. I personally as have said before love trans folks and all folks in LGBT community. My son is dating a trans female to male. I have had LGBT folks in my life for many years. I would cuddle a trans person. I would prefer to know if they are simply because I want folks to be their true selves with me and being trans is a big part of the self. I will say though that I can understand where folks like @BashfulLoner are coming from. I am comfy with trans folks. However not everyone is. I can see where there would be mixed emotions, including feeling deceived and violated for some folks. To expand on what @DaForceofNature says re reversing the gender scenario, what if a woman who has significant trust issues with men due to past trauma, and only feels comfy and safe cuddling women was to find they are cuddling someone who is trans male to female? I can see where the same sort of emotions that @BashfulLoner mentions could also be felt under those circumstances. Could even trigger something pretty negative in the woman after finding out.

DaForceofNature

Thank you for the different perspective @pmvines .
I mainly interjected myself into this thread because I get tired of seeing trans women called out when they are such a small minority. As one poster noted, they don't even have any within 300 miles of LA, yet here is a thread dedicated to them.
Though, I do enjoy the people who check out my profile just to see if I'm trans ?

I am "one poster" and within a 300 mile search of LA no one identified as Trans but there is a Transwoman 13 miles from me on here. I think that's why the thread was created and I don't see too many other threads about them.

I'm a big supporter but I understand the point of view of those who would like transparency.

Morpheus

@DaForceofNature there are quite a few confirmed trans pros in LA. They list themselves as females and aren’t up front about being trans. That’s what this post is about, transparency.

DaForceofNature

Ahh yes, the trans people need to be more transparent. Again I say, they are such a small minority of the population, why are they required to announce themselves at all times? Most trans people just want to live their lives without wearing a billboard calling out their transness.
I'll concede that women who are trans should tell guys they are planning to cuddle ahead of time, but only because of the danger to the woman, not any danger to the man. I highly doubt any trans woman who is cuddling is going to take advantage or attempt to assault who she is cuddling, so again I say, what are you actually afraid of? That you got too close to a penis without your proper consent? Oh, the horror!

I know most will disagree or just simply not understand, but being trans is a medical condition. It's mainly treated by an endocrinologist. So, should we all declare all medical conditions in the name of transparency?
What about this? If you wonder if someone is trans, you can always ask. Or maybe you could put it in your own bio that you prefer not to cuddle trans people?