Why do women here describe overweight as curvy?

I think it would be better if people just explained it rather then trying to cover up the fact that they are Obese.. I am not Obese however I believe I am average with curves. Which means I am within the health guides for my height yet I have a nice shape (no anorexia either... Yuck!).
On the other side of this, who would want to cuddle with a stick? 

Grace_Anna

I had a boss who tried online dating. A guy asked her what she weighed and she told him. He replied with "kind of fat aren't ya?" She decided to stick with offline dating after that. I think the internet makes it easier to say things very bluntly in a manner that can come across as rude.

docgatorb

Maybe she should have answered "you're kinda shallow aren't ya". Maybe
we could that added to the profile questions "Personlity: Shallow, Rude, Non-responsive,Sensitive, Enlightened.

Mark

Terribly rude but not necessarily shallow - we'red wired how we're wired.

Physical attractiveness is generally far more important to men than women and an unhealthy weight will naturally be a turn off and that's ok. Women also seem to be wired to be positively influenced by wealth, social position and power. That's equally shallow on the surface.

The hope is that these attributes have less influence after the initial stages of dating and far less with just cuddling.

Darren66

That was well put Mark. It's perhaps an unpleasant reality but it is reality nonetheless. The hope is that a person's character will outshine the outer shell. Looks, whatever they are will eventually fail and all that will be left is the heart. And it's the heart at the core of cuddling isn't it?

angela10

Thanks Mark for your candid observation. Looking for the right Cuddle
Buddy requires work at least for me. It takes time to build that connection between the two people.

bookcaterpillar

I'm curious about why it matters what body type someone has. This is cuddling, not dating. I feel like it's pretty common to sexualize touch, but touch is a basic human need. There have been studies done that show higher mortality rates in preemie infants who do not receive touch versus those who do. When people need comforting it is common to give hugs. This is not a sexual thing.

I understand that a lot of people have various preferences for who they date (also not something i think is nearly as relevant as communication style compatibility, chemistry [which is not necessarily dependent on appearance], humor compatibility, etc.), but that's dating.

The idea behind the upswing of professional cuddle services and cuddle websites is that non-sexual touch is a basic human need and that many people are not getting that need met otherwise.

So why does it matter what people's body types are on this website, and if you are someone for whom it matters a great deal, are you being open and honest about why you're here? The site is supposedly about platonic cuddling. Not hooking up. Not dating. Am I alone in thinking it would be really cool if people genuinely approached it platonically and were open to just experiencing each other as human beings without a sexual agenda?

It seems to me men have a sexual agenda and women have a relationship agenda. Both would seem to not be in line with platonic cuddling. Too many hidden and not so hidden agendas.

areli

*checks profile page* *jabs at weight section* *clearly defined as overweight* Seriously though lots of men also claim to have "love handles" when they are in fact obese. The society at large isn't really accepting of bigger than average sized humans, I mean ffs we are here discussing about the terms people use to describe THEMSELVES. If you see a pic and you don't like it, then your loss. Why does anyone need to justify their profile? This is a cuddle partner search site, not cornhub. Scratch that, pretty sure cornhub has a huge archive of chubs.

angela10

@Thnola, that's an interesting observation but it might not be far fetched. However, I do believe you should still be selective in choosing a platonic cuddle buddy.

Crispin

Thnola, I wd have said many or most just to b accurate..
Friendship is a relationship. I am also here for friendship. Is that a relationship agenda?

Crispin, you are correct. There are a few like us. I suspect the good news is that, ladies take note, probably more here than other places.

I just signed up to CC, and I have a lot of anxiety about my body being a factor in whether or not I get to cuddle. When I say I'm curvy, I mean that I have a lot of boobs, butt, thighs, and no, I don't have a flat stomach at all. I don't think that's misleading. I am very curvy. What I think is disheartening is that men can say they're "average" and that could range from "frail as a rail" to "big n tall" and it's met with little complaints, but if a woman dare to classify her own body the way she sees it, it's a problem. 

Preferences are fine, but women are not automatically unhealthy or undesirable just because an individual man doesn't see their beauty. ALSO, isn't this a place where you don't have your own sexual fantasies be a priority, since a relationship isn't the end goal? To conclude, this discussion has already made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious here, like people like me aren't wanted, even to cuddle, which, in my opinion, us curvy women are best at. 

docgatorb

Welcome to the community, CurvyCuddler1. I don't think that any anxiety about your body is warranted. I think your lovely smile and upbeat profile makes you a very desirable  cuddle partner. That said, know that this isn't the most populated website and you may not find people in your area. If so, don't interpret your appearance as something that is keeping people away. We need to grow this site by getting the word out there and then there will be cuddles to be had.

Thanks for the welcome, @docgatorb! 

What an interesting discussion! I personally described myself here as curvy, at UK size 16, I'm not huge, however I have, unfortunately rather often been described as fat and/or obese. I agree that 'giving false information ' can lead to unwanted and/or emotional encounters, however, so long as person is happy, who is anyone to judge? A curvy woman, is woman who has curves, and a slightly bigger woman or man for that matter feels they belong in that category, then go for it! What I'd like to know is how many people here men and women alike who have put there body type as athletic, actually are? Personally I don't care either way, but just food for thought

Grace_Anna

Yeah, and how does someone know if they should put a little extra, overweight or full-figured if they don't choose curvy? On the flip side, like you mentioned, what if someone is somewhat athletic. When does one cross the point where it goes from average or slim to an athletic figure. And, how does a thinnish person who isn't athletic know whether to put slim or skinny or average. I personally think a photo is way more helpful and I would bet that many people would just look at that instead if they even care about the body type of the person they cuddle with. Not everyone cares. Plus, if there isn't a photo, people could always just send each other pictures before getting together.

docgatorb

A picture is worth a thousand words but can be deceptive as well, I've known users of dating sites who post pictures when they were 20 years younger and nearly 100 pounds lighter and then can't understand why the dates go badly as if they thought that the difference wouldn't be noticed, too funny. Honesty is the best practice regardless of how badly you need a hug.There is someone to like every body type, although it might take a while to find that somebody.

angela10

Yes it's true for someone to like every body type. In fact I got a message from a guy telling me that he would love to cuddle big women. When I told him I am on the slim side, he stopped communicating with me.

docgatorb

Men are such focused creatures. it could be just one feature of a woman's appearance or personality that we really find attractive (such as a laugh) and then over time we appreciate that it is attached to a total person. I don't think that we take in the whole person at first. Actually, those few women that have a really 'total' look can almost be overwhelming and thus even intimidating.

Does physical attraction matter in a cuddle partnership, or are you secretly looking for more?

docgatorb

Does money matter?

cuddleaddict84

Doesn't make us badown guys if your over weight and you describe yourself as curvy or thick were thinking Lil cushion which make awesome cuddle buddies dont wanna cuddle with a complete stick but what we meet is 5 ft tall by 3 ft wide

I wonder how many guys know it is possible to be curvy and overweight. People are built differently and there are all sorts of variations. Women aren't the only ones to list curvy when they are curvy and a little overweight. Men have there ways as well. Let's just say the average profile I read where a male lists himself as a little extra is usually significantly more than a little extra. Nonetheless, I agree that everyone likes what they like. 

ant19851985

Overweight, Curvy, it all means the same thing - more woman to cuddle with.

It's weird figuring out what to put when you're both. I'm overweight, but my measurements are 46-34-48, so I could put either and not be wrong. I just put overweight to simplify things.

docgatorb

doesn't really matter if you put up your picture, like you did.You're not hiding, show everybody that you are ok with yourself.We need more people confident with themselves. Sending you hugs.

But fat people can be classed curvy too, I have a hour glass shape. Not all fat people are shaped like apples. I've always been the same shape small waistline huge hips and bum and boobs. Curvy means body shape not size, what it should say is fat and curvy or slim and curvy. Lol I've heard us fat people described cuddly well that's perfect for the job. 
I could understand it if you were asking for sex with that person your not your asking to share a cuddle and warmth and friendship, so my point is to the person who made the post your on the wrong site. 

angela10

It's true. I agree with Nina. Even when I was a size 2 in my 20's, people described me as curvy some even said I was "full figured" being a size 2. It's the shape of the body.

@angela10. Any pics? I'm curious how you look.