Cuddle Prices

Out of curiosity what are the average prices people are paying to cuddle? Around here there seems to be a lot of people who charge 100 to cuddle but you must also pay for their room to host which is $50-$100. I can't justify paying $150-$200. Is that the norm for what everyone else pays?

ยซ1

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Madebytheblood (deleted user)

    I wanted to be fair so I charge $45 per session. Gives everyone a chance to spend more time with me or to get comfortable.

  • edited July 2019

    You'll notice quite a few people charging $100 per hour, but that doesn't mean they're getting business. The more experienced cuddlers can justify this rate if they've gone through extensive training, have some sort of supplementary skills to add to the session (such as being a coach or a therapist or a registered massage therapist, provider of reiki, knowledge of reflexology etc) and if they bring more to the table than just themselves. Others who are brand new with no knwoledge of how platonic cuddling works whatsoever will look at the dollar amount listed on a profile and think "I should be able to make the same amount of money!" or "I think I'm worth $100 an hour for sure!" so they just go with it not realising that you need to do more thinking than that in order to garner some success.

    The standard rate that many start at with training is $80. I don't have formal training (though I've done this for 2.5+ years) or a current background knowledge in any related bodywork fields so therefore I only charge $60.

  • Interesting, I think everybody in the Bay Area is at 100 and up. Training or not.

  • Geography can also play an important role in pricing too @Kense I don't know what the cost of living is there, but usually that will also be factored in and if it's high, $100 is also somewhat justified in that case.

  • I don't even consider scheduling with anyone who charges over 80.00. Personally, I think 60.00 an hour will get you more business. You can get a great full body massage for 50-60 an hour.

  • Catloaf the cost of living etc doesn't explain it.
    I've been in the same expensive region for years and I've had cuddlers charge me as low as 40 per hour to cuddle.
    And they hosted on top of that.
    Let's be real here.
    Some will need 100 or more per hour simply because they wouldn't be caught dead with some of the guys here. But if the rate is high enough they will overlook how they feel about you.
    So guys. Dont complain about the cost just see the ones who are affordable to you and stop bankrupting yourself by seeing the 120 per hour pros. Leave them to the richer executives :)

  • @melancholy

    the cost of living etc doesn't explain it. I've been in the same expensive region for years and I've had cuddlers charge me as low as 40 per hour to cuddle.

    Obviously cost of living doesn't entirely explain a rate. But in many cases and in many jobs, the amount you charge or are paid for a profession is partly dependent on where you are located and what the cost of living is there, as well as the demand of the service you provide, the product you give... there are many factors and anybody who is solely using "cost of living" as their reasoning for charging a high rate is adopting a flawed business plan.

  • @melancholy "But if the rate is high enough they will overlook how they feel about you."

    That's terrible. But true with some professionals. I would never see any professional who feels that way about anyone they are accepting money from... ๐Ÿ˜ž

    If I don't enjoy sessions with someone (usually because of boundary pushing), I drop them as a client. It doesn't matter what they're paying me. That's proof that no one is buying my interest and care for them as a human being. People are only paying for my time. ๐Ÿ˜•

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    @ubergigglefritz

    Seems to be the baseline operating of most pros.

    If they werenโ€™t getting paid, they wouldnโ€™t be doing it.

  • @CharlesTwisted Yes, that's why I suggest asking lots of questions and to be very discriminating about who you give money to. It doesn't have to be that way.

    For me, the truth is that if I weren't being paid, I wouldn't be doing it, yes. But because I would have to spend my time doing another job, not because I don't care... There is only so much time and energy available to me, and I have to make money to pay the bills and work on savings. It is an unfortunate fact of life ๐Ÿ˜ž

    Honestly though, out of the 50 people I have seen, only one is someone I didn't really connect with (I haven't seen him since I think our second session). So the odds are pretty high that I will connect and care ๐Ÿ˜Š But he is also the only person I have seen who was seriously complaining about the price every time. So that will put a bad taste in your mouth. Respect does a lot for the relationship ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)
    edited July 2019

    Yes.

    This is a far longer conversation about gender, roles, various shades of sexism, and so on.

    Speaking for myself only, I have been trained/raised/indoctrinated to believe that being paid for something makes it a job, and no longer an act of love or caring, except of the results and process.

    Add in our โ€œculture'sโ€ terrible representation of women as mercenaries/gold-diggers/go ahead and pick your derogatory term, and it can be very confusing, disheartening, and emotionally frustrating.

    Again, speaking only of my experience, I put a lot of effort and time into my art, for which I get paid.

    But I donโ€™t โ€œloveโ€ gigs, nor particularly care about those audiences, in anything other than a polite, professionally distant way.

    Whereas, those times that I am donating my art and talent to a cause I support (hospice playing, special needs groups, community fund raisers, and even Open Mics) I am fully invested emotionally, and the professionally honed skills are simply along for the ride.

  • An hour feels like an eternity when someone is uncomfortable. Some of the professionals probably deal with nightmare clients that grope them and smell bad. Maybe they give a discounted rate to regulars?

  • @boomerang86 I don't deal with clients groping me. Anyone who deals with that shouldn't be a professional or has a lot to learn before continuing. Half of the work is educating people about boundaries, both respecting other's and how to hold your own...

  • That was deep and insightful, @CharlesTwisted . One of the most common things any young soldier preparing for marriage in my area hears is, "She's probably just a gold digger." It truly is sad that people push these ideas.

    The money association is a bit of cultural difference between families. My Mexican friend gives his family money, because he loves them. My grandparents give me money when they see me to show love and support. My German/Greek friends gift money and fight for the right to pay for each other to show love, pride, and to demonstrate their ability to provide. Your experience is an entirely new perspective to me. I can definitely see how it makes sense. Money in my world equals investing in something or someone you care for, approve of, believe in, and/or want to see do better. It is not really associated directly with a job.

    @boomerang86 I have not had any clients who smell bad.

    A woman is definitely at risk of being groped or sexually assaulted. It's no fault of her own.

  • "At risk of being groped or sexually assaulted"? Everyone is. Non-professionals get that from some professionals. That risk knows no gender or profession... ๐Ÿ˜•

  • Judges, policewomen, firewomen, EMTs ,martial arts instructors, a person behind a counter at a bank, or a cashier are all much less likely to be touched inappropriately compared to a person in direct proximity, alone with someone, and away from everyone else. Predators know when the odds are in their favor and when they are very stacked against them. Dare I make an unpopular comparison? wince Prostitutes would be an example. We see news stories regularly where they go missing, are assaulted, or are murdered. They are women in a job that puts them alone with a large number of men, just like us, and they are bound to run into predators at some point. It leaves them very open to attack. Female soldiers are also in higher risk jobs when they are sent to work with predominantly male groups where they are outnumbered and assaults are very common.

    We can meet and bring light to the lives of 100 wonderful and sweet men. Then, mister 101 can be the nightmare we work so hard to avoid. It is a gamble. The odds are certainly stacked against us, and someone is bound to be touched inappropriately or assaulted no matter what they say or do. If and when it happens, it is not their fault. We can only control our own actions and no one else's.

    I don't know if we are able to post links. I will erase it if not. This page explains research on what areas women are most at risk working in. Female cuddlers fit 3 out of 5 increased risk factors.
    https://iwpr.org/publications/sexual-harassment-work-cost/

  • The first five you mentioned, I agree. Those are typically people in power. You don't hear about, or know of, all the cashiers or bank tellers with jack ass bosses, for example. Prostitutes are at high risk because they are working illegally and they cannot ask for help without getting arrested, and the clients know that. Power.

    The worst client I had who I think had the highest likelihood of trying anything with me, he used classic techniques trying to convince me of his value to me. If I believed him, that would have given him power over me. Give people power and they can use it against you.

    You are right in that all it takes is one person, but a cuddler who takes all the proper precautions, holds strong to boundaries, keeps their power, is probably at lower risk than someone who goes out flaunting it in high risk areas every weekend getting drunk. Keep your power.

    Your post is basically admitting powerlessness. The outcome is inevitable ("if and when"), and when it comes to fruition, it's not the person's fault. I'm not blaming the victim, but it's not inevitable. Don't give people any of your power.

    I have heard much worse stories on here from "professionals" than the other communities I am in with seasoned and educated providers. If you don't feel in power, then do something to increase your power. Feel strong.

    My opinion.

  • And we are only within one of those high risk areas, isolation. Not a tip assumed work like waitressing, most if us are not illegal immigrants, it is a female-dominated job, we are our own boss (no power differential, unless you count mark ;-) ).

  • edited July 2019

    The first thing professionals can do is remove any picture that shows cleavage or has a "sexy" facial expression. Be professional. You can control the type of client you are attracting. ๐Ÿ˜• I can't believe some of the pictures "professionals" use on here. It's no wonder people think we are prostitutes. ๐Ÿ˜ž It makes me sad. Sad for women for thinking that's necessary. Sad for this industry for perpetuating the misconception. ๐Ÿ˜•

  • @ubergigglefritz As someone who had to learn this the hard way and really didn't care about what I had floating around on the internet when I first started, I entirely agree with auditing the image you are putting out there. It isn't to say that anybody who is putting out a certain image deserves or will attract boundary pushers, but the reality is that the world is not so nuanced and having pics up like what you describe in a platonic industry is sending mixed messages.

  • @Catloaf There was someone in my state who I contacted after he visited my profile. I was willing to see him, with some gray flags up, but was not concerned about safety. He never booked a session with me. He did however contact the next hot thing that put up a profile nearby. She never saw him either, quit after she was creeped out. The fact is that people who are looking for something sexual are much more likely to try to book with somebody who looks more sexy than someone with a picture in a t-shirt. I get passed up by a lot of people, and that is fine by me ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • I get passed up by a lot of people, and that is fine by me

    Exactly, it's better to have a few of the right instead of a room full of the wrong. Not that there is anything wrong about seeking sex, it's just not what we're here for. The need to distinguish is huge and you're setting a great example of how to do that.

  • Thanks. Great to hear from someone else with a similar mindset. ๐Ÿ˜Š Also on the notion that it's ok to seek sex, that's just not what we're offering. ๐Ÿ˜Š Two big pieces of what we do and teach - boundaries and acceptance...

  • So.... we could wear a burka and hijab. Even those don't stop predators. Why would we try to look less like ourselves just to hopefully scare some people away? Old ladies in retirement homes get assaulted. Women in uniform get assaulted while covered from neck to toe with no makeup. Babies get assaulted wearing footie pajamas and diapers. The overall tone of this is a bit uncomfortable to me. Nothing a person does will stop a predator. Looks are not a major factor in sexual assault.

    Cashiers are not the most likely to be assaulted. As you point out, they have no reason to not report it. They are not the most likely to be murdered and left in a ditch. Cashiers are at very low risk for sexual assault. The article states what factors increase sexual assault. Illegal immigration was on the list, but illegal work was not a significant factor on the list.

    -Working in a male-dominated job. Women working in occupations where they are a small minority, particularly in very physical environments. We are certainly outnumbered by male clients.

    -Working in an isolated context. We do this.

    -Working for tips. This was the third I counted, and I agree that it may be a bit of a gray area for this job. Tips do occur in this line of work, and customer service is a definitely priority for some. A masseuse would be a similar comparison. She is not a waitress, but she is alone with men, tips are a part of her industry, and they often face sexual harassment from clients. They are not working illegally or wearing skimpy outfits in the majority of settings. It isn't about the tips, the clothing, or the job so much as how the customer sees the situation. If they think they are in a position to make a move, then they will.

    -Working in a setting with significant power differentials and โ€œrainmakers.โ€ This is another gray area. A respectable man alone with a woman in a job such as this may have much more legal standing. An example would be a judge with a cuddler. The judge may later accuse the cuddler of misdoing after assaulting her or claim that she attempted something nefarious against him as a defense to any accusation against him. Our job is not one of the same public respect and power allotted to a judge or another public official. Therefore, there is a significant power difference.

    I'm actually curious, do my profile pictures seem too sexual and invite sexual assault? I think different people would have entirely different answers for this. Honestly, people can sexualize anything. You can cover up everything but toes and still manage to set someone off. Another thread reminded me of this today. Even balloons are a fetish. While some pics obviously cross a line, the location of that line that automatically makes one safe from predators is arbitrary and extremely subject to personal tastes of the predator... Much in the same way modesty here may be a t-shirt, but modest elsewhere might mean 100% covered from head to toe.

    We can try our best to filter out the bad eggs, but we can't catch everyone. Sociopaths appear no different from anyone. Most often they are seemingly respectable, upstanding citizens. Even many trained psychiatrists can be fooled.

    Luckily, most men are pretty good guys. I have had a number of men say that they would be too attracted to me, and that they feel they would be unable to follow the rules once cuddling was explained to them. I have a lot of respect for a man who knows his limitations and can just avoid a situation. Most men wanting something sexual will just say so. Then, we can say no. As you say, that lady never even booked the creepy guy. Predators aren't necessarily just looking for sex. It is about the power dynamic. That is why all five risk factors are about power over the victim. It's also why half of all victims are children and why a 92 yr old woman may still be assaulted. It has nothing to do with clothing choices.

  • @RaindropSweetie Of course if a woman does end up raped or assaulted it is never the fault of her clothing or appearance, and there really was nothing she could do to prevent it at any end. Your points are right and entirely valid. I think what uber is getting at is a different point though, and that point is that a certain image will send a certain message about what you offer. Not that a certain image will have more chances of leading to rape.

  • I can agree with that in some instances.

  • There are lots of reasons for people to not report an assault. I had a female client who was assaulted by a male non-professional from this site, not reported. I was in a restaurant when a waitress was being treated illegally, not sexual related. I talked to her and comforted her, but there was nothing I could do to control whether she continued to take the treatment or not. when it comes to your job, most people do not report anything because simply they need the job. And that is precisely why it can happen and continues to happen, people give the person in perceived power all of their power.

    How are we outnumbered by men? The article is referring to male-dominated jobs, like a construction worker. Or the military. This is a female-dominated career, and even if you count clients, we are always 1-to-1.

    Our work is not dependent on tips. I rarely get tips (and not because I suck, lol, most people book a second session, etc). We get paid plenty without a tip, it's not like waitressing where we need time for our income...

    "If they think they are in a position to make a move, then they will." Exactly. Do everything in your power to not encourage that thought.

    I'm not following your power differential comment. Or I just don't agree. Not sure...

    Anyway, agree to disagree. I could still be murdered or raped no matter what I do, and no matter what line of work I choose. I lower my chances in both situations by choosing to feel empowered rather than powerless ๐Ÿ˜• That eliminates all potential situations involving a guy who needs to feel in control in order to go there... Leaving me with psychopaths and insane people. They suck no matter where you are or what you're doing ๐Ÿ˜†

  • Since you asked, your picture is a gray area in my opinion. Not one I would consider reporting, but it could be more professional. I see nothing overtly wrong with it ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • I really don't intend to be offensive or make you uncomfortable. I just want to encourage people to feel empowered and to not let anyone take your power away. That helps keep you safer. That is the primary cause, always exceptions, to this sort of thing happening. Men telling or acting like they have power over the woman, and her believing them.

    Also, in this line if work, I like to encourage talking about what happened and everything in the process leading up to it. While I won't blame the woman, there are often lessons we all can learn for ALL of us to be safer... There are things you can do to reduce your chances. Sometimes people don't do these things through either lack of awareness or desperation (giving power). By taking away 100% of the responsibility, we cannot learn anything from a terrible thing happening.

  • It is interesting reading these comments from pros. I am disappointed there are so few non professional women in my area. It seems like that is pretty typical unfortunately. I also saw several pros that I wondered did they find the site like myself lonely looking for a cuddle partner? But then decided to be a pro once they got here and saw there was money to be made? Admittedly I was judging a book by its cover when I had these thoughts.

Sign In or Register to comment.