@boomerang86 That is a very good question.
I am asexual, so came here looking for platonic connections. But I was also at a point in my life where I was looking for a business to start. It just so happened that this work was a perfect fit for me. I love it 😊 I don't consider this easy money. I wouldn't still be doing this if I weren't passionate about it. It fits perfectly in line with something I have done naturally my entire life - be kind, compassionate, and SEE people of all kinds and walks of life. And I do not use my clients to meet my own needs (I have heard extreme stories of this from people). That's the main risk you run from people doing this work who originally came here looking for it themselves. I have worked hard to develop my own support system so the sessions I provide can be wholly about the client. :-)
Interesting. Why don’t you think professional cuddling is easy money? If someone makes 70 an hour (and that seems to be on the low side) even with only 10 hours a week they are making 700. Many probably deal on cash and do not even pay taxes on it. Someone working retail 40 hours a week on their feet would be making far less than them.
I worked 18 hours this week and made $0. All was admin, communication with clients, keeping up with the community here, with fellow professionals, etc. That's one. I work about four hours of unpaid for every one hour of paid. I averaged about $22/hr this year so far. What you think I make us not what I effectively make.
Secondly, it's hard emotional labor. I am on 100% throughout the session. I'm paying attention to my client's breath (speed as an indication of level of relaxation, and also frequently match theirs as that is very relaxing and connecting), tension in their body as an indication of their needs, words (100% focus on them, acceptance, hearing them, etc), their hands (some people I have to do this more than others), etc. I cuddle for the other's comfort, sometimes in a less comfortable position for me so they can feel fully embraced in the position, but always being honest regarding my need to change position when that occurs. I don't just lie there like a cold fish waiting for it to be over so I can leave with my money...
That's off the top of my head around 330am. Lol.
I love it. But that doesn't mean it's easy...
That does sound like work! Sounds like you are an extremely thorough person. Some other pro could theoretically spend almost no time on admin tasks and the forum and just generate business when people find them searching cuddlers in their area. I would think the worst part about being a pro is being in a session with a sweaty smelly man with bad breath. Then being too polite to comment on it!
Thank you. I am not perfect, no professional is. But we are definitely all very different. I wish the prices varied more based on education and experience, proven satisfaction through demand, but people can charge whatever they want and the competition isn't there yet to force prices to those relative levels. I always recommend doing your homework and not being afraid to ask questions to find the right fit for you. Someone WILL feel like a waste of money if they are bad fit, and that will be different for each person.
The worst part about being a professional is people not thinking I'm worth the money 😉 Sometimes because of bad previous experiences, but usually because society doesn't quite get it yet in general...
And the other "professionals" out there perpetuating the misconceptions that we offer "other" services, don't have the boundaries we say we do, and don't really care about our clients, just in it for the money, etc...
My clients are most definitely not the worst part of the work. They are the best part. 😉
I wish we could have footers in the forums, lol.
~RV cuddles coming to a location near you!~
Ha.
Unless you've worked in a certain industry, it's hard to know what all goes on in the background, outside of what the customer experiences. @ubergigglefritz I feel you on all the admin and communication work. Not to mention, being 'on' for so long with a client means I need to engage in a higher level of self care afterwards so I can recharge my own batteries, so I can continue to deliver excellent experiences for my customers.
It is interesting you all are going to such lengths as a pro. If I was with a pro I would prefer a natural experience. I wouldn’t want someone too afraid to tell me they are in an uncomfortable position or mirroring my breathing. The reason being when the client finds a non pro they may be startled to realize the way they are cuddling is uncomfortable for their partner.
I'm not afraid to tell people if I'm uncomfortable or need to move. Do you think it's really the most comfortable thing for parents to carry their kids on their shoulders? It's not, but they want their kid to have fun. That doesn't mean they don't put them down if they get to the point where they want or need to. Throughout my sessions, I am very honest about my own needs. My clients see this in action so they know they can trust me.
I have done a session with a pro and it was quite distracting as she guided some meditation to hear her breath so out of sync with mine. To each their own. I find it very relaxing and connected to feel breath in sync with someone else. I value honesty though, and encourage it, so I would be happy if someone told me they didn't like it.
But anyway, no one pro is the same and no one pro is perfect for everyone. I was just answering the question 😊
I know it's not really a practical question but what are the typical prices one should pay for an hour? In my area, everybody starts at $100 and goes up to $145-$200 per hour. I guess California Cost of Living is the reason?
@Kense however much you're prepared/comfortable paying really, if you aren't in a great spot financially then it'd be a bad idea to pay anything close to those prices. And if you're in a good spot but don't believe you'd get enough back for what you'd be spending then it's totally fair to not pay it.
Based on what I know about California I'd assume that yeah it's a big influence on the price differences, anyone with significantly lower rates (or just on the lower end of the spectrum, 80/90) probably gets dog-piled out of existence due to the amount of messages they get or started up their own site to handle the requests and get their own clientele.
I'm financially good, I guess I'm just trying to justify the costs. I work with Psychiatrists who typically charge $200 per hour, so basically, some cuddlers are charging Physician rates. I guess I just don't see the value in paying that much.
145-200 an hour is absurd! That makes me think they are actually escorts to charge that price. It is sad pros are charging that price exploiting someone’s loneliness.
I know legitimate trained professionals across the country and none are that high.
Whenever it happens that search results can be sorted and/or filtered by price... well, that should be very interesting.
So, I have been reading all these posts and I think @RaindropSweetie has the most reasonable and logical views on the cuddling profession. She presents the challenges of the job and the hows and whys of what she does and experiences without making it seem like brain surgery.
A couple of others have presented their cases as if they are working a grinding job. I am always leery of hiring anyone in any industry that feels free to state how hard their job is. Any job can be a pleasure or a hell. ANY JOB. It is a matter of perspective. I like how @RaindropSweetie presents problems without going to the my job is sooo hard card. I would definitely look her up for a cuddle because of that. The reason I would not look up someone who says how hard their job is is because I would feel like their heart is only partially into it and I am adding to their drudgery. Nothing personal, it is just the way it makes me feel.
@FunCartel I appreciate your perspective. Part of the emphasis on this not being easy is that there is a real problem with people coming here thinking it's easy money and quickly finding out it is not. You are right about it being a matter of perspective. This work is significantly harder for someone whose heart isn't in it, as you pointed out, as you have to be pretty instantaneously comfortable cuddling up close to strangers, anyone. If that's not your passion, that can be pretty awful uncomfortable and difficult. But for those of us whose heart is in it, it is still emotional labor. Any caretaking role is. CNA work is tough as heck. Someone can love it, but that doesn't make it easy. Some sessions are more labor than others, but the more laborious clients are the reason I do this, so in contrast to your impression, that is when my heart is most involved. Clients who have gone through physical or sexual trauma and my consent and boundary radar has to be 100% on point. Or clients really struggling emotionally and I have to just listen, refrain from coaching more often than not (it is most often our human nature to go right to wanting to help, but often listening is all they need). There are many examples. I do enjoy the social cuddles, but people who need more from the session than just "fun" are my passion and the reason I want to make this sustainable. But anyway, all professionals are different and all clients are different, making a different professional perfect for each client 😊 That's why choices are awesome and I encourage people seeking a professional to ask as many questions as they need to find the right fit.