Finding a cuddle buddy on dating sites?

sciencegirl47

Hi,
I seem to not have a lot of people on here in my area. Many have not been on the site in some time. I thought maybe I could try to contact people on dating sites to try to find something similar (platonic, nonsexual cuddling). Just wondering if anyone else has tried this?
-Sciencegirl

AceCuddlerMike

Craigslist used to be good when it had personals and a "strictly platonic" section. Still, they do have community sections, activity partners and I've had decent success. Lots of scammers though. Just have to sift through them.

LRob1972

This would be the ideal platform for you obviously if the selection pool in your area was larger. The dating sites are set up for just that...dating...so most connections would struggle with anything platonic. Just my opinion. I wouldn’t go CL because that would scare the mess out of me if I were a woman. Maybe there are similar sites as this one (not that I’m trying to promote as this is the best).

happybear

I would suggest going to cuddle parties,
There are a bunch of sites like cuddleparty.com and many events on meetup.com. alot of regular dating sites there isn't much understanding from hooking up to just cuddling.

PeopleLikeUs

I've had gteat success finding people to cuddle offline since joining CC. Part of that is the general mind set. I have been able in my CC conversations to pick out people who seem closer to fitting the profile of a cuddler. There's quite a difference in someone who would cuddle a companion compared to a potential or acutual lover. Even if you never cuddle here you may find a potential cuddle companion right next to you.

Melancholy

Its going to be really hard....those sites are full of guys wanting to hookup

sciencegirl47

"Peoplelikeus" can you explain what you mean more? How do you meet these friends? I have some social anxiety, so this is hard for me, although I feel that I'm friendly overall.

I'm bi and feel I might find some people in the LGBT community open to it online. I'm going to give it a try anyway. Cuddle parties may be far out of my comfort zone, but I'll consider it. Thanks.

Catloaf

100% stay off Craigslist. It's full of opportunists who would probably try to bridge the gap into the sexual. The same could be said of dating sites as well. You can try, but most people on dating sites aren't using the site for platonic purposes - even in the supposed platonic sections.

AceCuddlerMike

Catloaf, that's not fair at all. I've met some great people off CL. Yeah, real people use it too. You just have to use decent judgment as with any site. You think a serial killer can't afford a few bucks to join ANY dating site? There are no guarantees anywhere. Not only have I met some awesome people very nearby by using CL, I've has SO much work done finding skilled people on there. And yes, some flakes. But I've also had some horrific service and advice by walking right into a Home depot and asking their helpful employees. LOL

TheFunCartel

@Fairbutfirm Absolutely agree. You cannot make a blanket statement about a whole site, based on as she said herself “probably”. Definitely not fair and a very biased statement by her.

RaindropSweetie

Some of the best people I've ever met were on CL. Nearly everyone uses it at some point, so you would find all types of people. I have not had much luck finding cuddle buddies on "dating" sites. Plenty of people will ask about it. The few people who seemed like they would work constantly tried to push it into a full on romantic relationship. CL was better. Even in a small town I would find enough people to cuddle every day when my ads were able to stay up.

Catloaf

By using the words "full of", I didn't mean to say that "all" of Craigslist is like this. I'm sorry if my statement seemed blanket-y. For the most part it was written in a hurry, but also based off my own experience (and I'm aware that one anecdote doesn't speak for all people, but my particular anecdote is still part of a large corroborating sample...). I've perused Craigslist for years now, and have gotten to know at least who is poking round in my local community. I too have met a few decent folks off Craigslist...with the keyword being "a few". Those good turnouts are far outnumbered unfortunately. My first successful cuddle was found on Craigslist as well, and I still wouldn't use it to find anyone again. Being a man on Craigslist and being a woman also tends to often yield differing results, so there is that to factor in. It was much easier to use the buy and sell when I pretended to be my husband than when I acted as myself - otherwise I had dozens of people offering things that shouldn't be in the buy and sell. Point is, tons of people who use it are still trying to goad sexual encounters out of it, so OP should at least tread carefully.

RaindropSweetie

I once put up a CL ad for a platonic sleepover in Los Angeles. It received a few thousand replies. The vast majority were just normal, nice men. It might have been nicer if most were not compliant, it would have saved me weeks of sorting. I could have just erased most at first sight. I had similar experiences 2,000 miles away at home. There's mischief in every bunch and gold as well. Sometimes the incompatibilities distract from the gold, but it's there.

I've tried to find cuddle buddies on dating sites (specifically mentioning wanting to find one on my profile, and messaging people not with any kind of interest in dating them but to talk and maybe be friends/cuddle buddies) with 0 success. With the current internet dating culture I'm guessing many, many people will make assumptions about what you mean by cuddle buddy or will seem to understand but would actually just be trying to get something else.

Catloaf

That's true @RaindropSweetie When it comes to the good people I've met, I certainly wouldn't have thought that I would find them on CL. It is a lot of sorting, a ton, and before the nerfing of the personals section, it was definitely worse back then than it is now. What's frustrating these days is that even with these sections gone, nothing much has changed - just the gross volume of it and definitely not the ratio lol. I dunno if it's because I'm in Canada and people truly feel like they have no where else to look for hookups, or what... Last time I used CL was last year I think, and I was trying to set up a book club for women in north Calgary. The amount of "I think a gang**** sounds better" replies were through the roof...haha.

boomerang86

I don’t like the flagging policy on Craigslist that so often removes legitimate posts. I think it is a good site for a woman because as raindropsweetie’s post mentioned there can be a ton of responses from men. Some are bound to be quality people.
A woman could post on Craigslist that she has herpes and is the size of a small suv and there likely would still be 20 or so men responding. Craigslist removed their personals but I have seen pro cuddlers advertise there under services.

Catloaf

The ad flagging has become rather ridiculous @boomerang86 I lied about using CL recently actually... just struck me that Kevin and I have been posting in the real estate section looking for a place to move and every single time the ad has been up for a day, it ends up getting flagged the next. It's bonkers. I feel bad for legit people who can't meet other legit people, because I am very aware that they're out there.

I've used the Craig a lot longer as a regular person than I have as a pro cuddler. There is a reason that both myself and another local lady (not on CC) have stopped advertising there. It's just the same old crowd of sex mongers and known hobbyists who respond, but of course, I can't really speak for anyone else because I don't live where they do. A lot of the people who sent me normal messages also ended up letting me know their true colours once I met them in person.

It's a box of chocolates, as Forrest says. Ya never know what you're gonna get.

RaindropSweetie

Catloaf, I have certainly seen some people turning everything into a personal ad on CL now. It's not just your area. People really did enjoy the personal section, and they are balking at their removal.

boomerang86, the flagging system is very obnoxious and was certainly the largest issue for me.

Meetup is another good site. Where I’m from there’s a Cuddling Meetup nearby. Maybe if you check Meetup you will find one near by.

SuperManCuddles

You never know where you can meet a good platonic friend or cuddle buddy. I have been on dating sites for many years. A few potential dates far from me, so we became great phone and or message friends. I admit that long before joining this site Craigslist was my source for finding cuddles lol Now there is a free site similar to Craigslist called Doublelist. Wish you and others well on your search!🤗 @sciencegirl47

Spoonydoo

Looking for cuddles on a dating site is like trying to buy a boat at a car dealership. Sure, related, but you are going to have a piss poor experience.

Wildcat95h

I have definitely tried that. It does not work very well, most people hear cuddle and decide that means more than cuddling. If you do try that, I'd suggest going on dates before you invite them to cuddle, soo you have time to meet them and talk about it.

vibert

I’ve done it. Some of them even liked it enough to sign up here