@BashfulLoner I am here for respectful, enthusiastic men here just to cuddle.
@Alan2018 true... I have vetted the hell out of my cuddle partners.
@BigGuyGa probably so, but it's too bad CC can't just delete people who have not been active within a period of time. I think it is especially weird they leave people searchable who've been deactivated.
The fact that a vast majority of straight men on here are only willing to cuddle females I think should be a big indicator. I'm not saying men should be intimate with each other like a romantic partner, but they have so little physical interactions as they get older, (I mean playful, or platonic ones) for just this reason. It's not "manly" to touch each other, or give each other comfort when needed.
@halnatoy
That’s certainly one of the many, incredibly destructive, messages of this “culture”.
I have no problem cuddling other men, but I’ve yet to be approached.
I have been approached, but never by a straight guy who is also okay with cuddling another guy. Things have not gone well yet as they either get sexual or they are trying to push faster than I like. One day I may cuddle another guy, but not until I find someone I am comfortable with
The curiosity at first because I thought it was for lovers only. But now since I did this it is obvious health reasons. It help prevents the cold. I haven't had one all year. It adds to the conversation with the cuddler
Halnatoy im not sure what you mean. Big indicator of what ? As a straight male i have zero interest in cuddling with guys. It would be really awful. No thank you.
@melancholy: A big indicator of why there are so many men on here, I'm guessing. Not like they can get their friendly touch needs met with their buddies—that'd be gay, and weird, and awful.
I see a lot of homeless men in Denver cuddled together in the winter months. I just assumed that they were gay but based on the comments here I may have been wrong. They may have been platonic cuddle buddies.
Tips for straight guys trying to cuddle women and complaining about so many other guys on the same site:
1) don't be creepy 2) not everything is about your d*ck, and no, potential cuddle partners don't care or need to know about your erections 3) cf tip #1 again 4) when and IF you do talk with a woman, make eye contact and talk to her, not her chest 5) cf tip #1 again 6) don't blame the gay guys who do have great relationships with women for your own personal failures in communicating or being creepy 7) cf tip #1 again 8) good luck on your quest
@boomerang86: Ah, yes. The one time it's acceptable to snuggle up to another male-bodied person: when you're both literally freezing to death.
Even then it's a tough call. Death may be the only manly option.
@CharlesTwisted I'd cuddle you (However as typical of internet sites... distance is a issue)
@JasonCuddles I think a lot of people this day in age are very used to "instant gratification". I had a cuddle session like that, where they were getting aroused (which was fine, if left at that), however even asked at one point if he could kiss me. (nope.) and just seemed to try to 'keep going' for the entire 2 hours =/
When you're with someone you may be attracted to, stop shooting for the end goal (sex). Yeah, that's great. But enjoy this moment, with another person... Just enjoying the company, the warmth, the cuddles. I think a lot of people don't know how to slow down and enjoy that =/ ~~~ I do agree with the comments on here about how women do have 'more opportunity', since it's more socially acceptable. Women can hug, sit on each others laps, put their arm around each other, etc. And in a lot of places, doesn't phase anyone. Where as if two guys were to do the same thing...
@melancholy Heh, I think your reply actually proves the point.
It shouldn't matter if the other person is a man / woman... (gay / straight, black / white / asian / brown, short / average / tall, etc, etc). It's about finding someone you're comfortable with and enjoying their company. As proven by 10001 studies, cuddling releases chemicals which reduce stress, reduce depression, reduce anxiety... amongst 101 other things.
It's kinda like saying... if you have a headache, and you need a tylenol. You'd only ask the women at work for it, and not any of the men. Their gender has no attachment to the solution.
NOW if you're looking for romantic / sexual intimacy... well, then the gender you're attracted to does come into play...
I've cuddled with straight men that enjoy cuddling with me. Since I'm male, they knew it wasn't about sex for them... and they were able to focus on just being present with another person. (Kinda like training wheels, you can't tip over laughs). One guy, his wife was always angry with him he didn't know how to cuddle... (He never had ANY type of physical intimacy until almost 30). Anyway, it's helped out his relationship and once in awhile does still have a cuddle session, as he enjoys just having some close 'bro' time (as he puts it) haha. (Slight off topic there, but I think that was all relevant)
@Sideon I do not see why you are trying to set up a dichotomy of gay men good with women vs straight men not. Seems simplistic and labels people unnecessarily.
MOD Edit: Removed personal attack [SoulcuddlerZ]
I have cuddled girlfriends in the past. I am too busy at this stage in my life for a relationship but need human contact.
@Dante_S: Training wheels. I love it. (And yeah, I'm pretty sure everything you said was relevant.)
@BillyBudds "Tips for people trying to cuddle people and complaining about so many other people on the same site:" How's that?
@Dante_S But I was not posting about what you stated so how could you correct it for him and have it mean anything to him?
Even if it were socially acceptable for men to cuddle men, that would leave no guarantee that they would receive the same health benefits from cuddling a man as they would a woman. I'm attracted to women, and there are female friends that I cuddle with. My best female friend is very touchy feel and benefits from snuggles. Personally, cuddling another woman is like cuddling a pleasant pillow to me. While the interaction feels nice, I don't get the same rush of beneficial hormones unless it's a small child. I'm not sure why that is. It's not necessarily about physical attraction, and some of it is based on men triggering my maternal instinct more. It's possible that only a specific type of woman can set off the same reaction. This adds something to gnaw on while you think this through...
Even if it's not about sex, sometimes it's about the illusion. Some people want to pretend for just a moment that they are in a different circumstance, and picking a cuddler that matches this momentary escape from reality completes the illusion.
I would attribute more men on here to men having a harder time finding a partner and stricter rules about how much gentle touch they can have even when they do. Within relationships some men aren't cuddled. Ouch. Men also tend to be busier with jobs and hobbies that don't bring them into contact with as many women to meet.
@BillyBudds , I stand by my very wise tips.
I didn't think it was possible for a person to label themselves "wise". Thought that praise had to come from others. ; )
@Sideon I never said the tips were wrong, you just made it sound like only gay guys could think of that which is an entirely false pretense. I have gone through threads and have yet to see anyone blaming gay guys for their female problems as you stated. I assume you are gay, which should not matter when giving tips, but you made your sexual orientation into glorification rather than advice.
@Fairbutfirm That is what I am saying. He seems to have an agenda based on ego rather than sage advice. His advice is sound and actually nothing more than common sense, but it is not exclusive to the gay or straight communities. If race, gender, and sexual identity should not factor into cuddling, then it should not factor into advice on cuddling.
Ok, my two cents in this one. When a woman is repeatedly approached in a manner she perceives to be inappropriate (I could have said creepy) she decides this isn’t for her, and leaves. When a man makes multiple approaches (they don’t HAVE to be creepy) to women with negative results, or more often no results, he goes back to today’s new users and picks a new one to try.
I confess to over-generalization, and also that I’m mostly talking about you straight men. But as gay men we get beaten up online by a small but vocal minority in here, day-in and day-out, so while I confess my over-generalization, I don’t apologize for it.
I pronounce @sideon as wise . Also has been around a good while and generally gets along well with others . No agenda
@BillyBudds : > " If race, gender, and sexual identity should not factor into cuddling, then it should not factor into advice on cuddling."
If that was true, this thread and comments wouldn't be here, whether as ego, sage advice, gay glorification, common sense, or all the above. I'll try to be more sensitive and mindful with snark and simplistic labels so as not to unduly offend.
Getting back to the OP: why are so many men here? Why are **you **here, and what constructive, affirming, informative, supportive advice could you give others who are looking to connect and cuddle? Let's see some of your wisdom and tips for the masses, since you've spent more time about me rather than offering anything related to the topic.
@pmvines I agree with your assessment of @sideon. There are plenty of wise people in here. Even one or two I disagree with, but whom I’d still consider to be wise. Wisdom does nor ALWAYS come accompanied by enlightenment.
I think it’s a reflection of society in general. There are a lot more men interested in cuddling women, without the expectations of a relationship, than the reverse. In general, women only want to cuddle men with whom they are in a relationship. The reverse is not the case. I’m fortunate enough to have recently made a female friend who lets me lay my head on her breast, or in her lap, while she comforts me in her arms. She’s even happy to comfort me in her arms if I need to cry. However, this is very rare. I just happened to find a very special person; and I did not meet her on this site. However, I am about to meet an enthusiast from this site, which will be my 4th enthusiast that I’ve ever met from this site. And we’ll see how this goes.
As for men to men cuddling, give me a break. People say men don’t do it because it’s not socially acceptable. Or maybe, men prefer cuddling women, because they find it more beneficial? Hell, women generally prefer cuddling their female friends to male friends. As I said, typically, they’ll cuddle a man only if he’s her boyfriend, or if she’s a professional cuddler.
Personally i would think someone who spends majority of their posts on a thread nagging at someone has an agenda. Either that or they don't know how to handle a difference of thought
@pmvines No I stated my impression of the post. But hey, I have not been here for years so I guess my opinion does not matter. My agenda was to get clarification, not a backhanded personal attack in exchange from him. I do not know the dude, but I was waiting for clarification.
@mickcuddle I understand and accept your point, but I would think you can see that over-generalization is one of the big reasons why our society is at each other’s throats all the time. I do not think it is ok to over-generalize gay people. It should work for all not just one group.