Non responsive Pros/Non-Pros

This question is primarily for females, although males are welcomed to join the topic...

Why is it that alot of you female Cuddlers do not respond to to messages from potential clients that are very polite, corteous, and respectable when reaching out? What are the contributing factors that lead to the decision that you choose not to respond? (Being busy) does not constitute a valid reason, because we all are. I mean if your not interested, why can't you the Female Cuddler send the potential Male Client a kind message and say your not interested? Geese is it really that "DIFFICULT"? I mean we're all Adults aren't we? Feedback and Input from Female Pros and Non Pros is gladly appreciated "PRIMARILY" please. Thanks. Males are also welcomed to joing the discussion... Peace and blessings to all....



  • It’s true. I wish they would implement my idea to purge non active pros. 90 days and no business or karma, see ya

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Well, I respond to every message—but I don't get many messages, and I'm not in the middle of any particularly intense getting-to-know-you exchanges. I might ignore new messages if I were busy enough with the people I was already talking to.

    I mean, I'd send a "thanks, not interested" message, but frankly "no" sometimes doesn't get taken too well no matter how you phrase it, and who wants to get stuck in an "explain why you're not interested in me" conversation with someone you're not interested in?

    Not sure what any geese using this site think about the difficulty of phrasing a kind "not interested," but if you see any geese feel free to take a gander.

  • edited August 2019

    Cold hard truth is just because you messag someone doesn't entitle you to a response. It is entitled to expect that .

  • edited August 2019

    Anybody who does not respond is not professional. They’re just rude.

  • I agree with pmvines. No one is entitled to a response or someone's time or effort. It's a fact of life that everyone needs to learn at some point. Think of it as a job interview. If you don't get the job, you won't hear back. Accept it and move on. Time is too valuable to waste on things like rejecting a bunch of people "properly". It's only as big of an issue as you decide to make it.

  • [Deleted User]mattcuds (deleted user)
    edited August 2019

    I don't agree with the, this is a job interview idea. It's not.. I've been thinking of creating a post just like this because I've chatted with professional cuddlers.. agreed to set something up.. then they just stop responding! It's weird and definitely rude.. I mean I'm agreeing to pay and for some reason they keep using the site and dont respond any further after accepting to initially.
    I wanted to ask moderators if pros were even verified.. like are they who they say they are.. why do they create profiles here if they wont cuddle? I mean professional profiles too.. some of them keep returning every few months and start chatting, then go into the quiet mode but still active.. lol.
    Some may think this is entitlement or something, but it's just an honest view of what I've witnessed.. I've had this with non pros but that I can understand.. it's the pros I dont get why they do this

  • edited August 2019

    No one is entitled to a response, that is typically the consensus around here. Maybe they aren't serious about what they do. Maybe they actually are busy and don't do this full time. Maybe you come off a certain way. Why do certain men always end the conversation or ghost when a response is given as to what we'd be wearing during a session? cough I dunno, I guess they're not entitled to a response or a "no thanks, I'm probably looking for something else and I really shouldn't be using this site (as if)" either?

  • [Deleted User]mattcuds (deleted user)

    If a person gives off a certain vibe that is fine.. but it's an outcome of what we are experiencing.
    I'm sure you pro cuddlers have guys who say they'll book and then don't! Dont they get marked down or something..
    There is nothing that happens when a pro decides to go quiet after initially agreeing to.. I've also never asked about clothing lol

  • edited August 2019

    @mattcuds Nothing happens because the booking panel was likely not used in the scenario you describe. It's two people talking about setting up and then it never happens, there is no rule in the policy about this. The only time a no-show actually occurs is when that booking panel has been used and an appointment has been confirmed, and one of the people do not show up. Pros absolutely are not immune from this rule - they're expected to compensate the client in the form of a discount if they attempt to book again, or they are expected to pay the cost of a room if one was rented. Also that comment about clothing requests was not directed at you, but somebody in this thread who apparently ghosted one woman... after he made "special clothing requests" (which are 95% of the time very suspect in my own experience) and she gave an honest answer which didn't appear to be in line with what he wanted.

    Edit: My bad, he did respond to her. He said he wasn't interested. ;)

  • I’m always extremely excited to book with a client and get to know them. I still carry on conversations with some people on the site that started out wanting to book and then change their mind. Circumstances are always different depending on the person, but it isn’t hard to simply reply back saying “sorry, I’m unavailable” or if you’re busy all the time, put that in your profile saying “ I lead a very busy life, have patience as I might not answer for a while” there won’t be any surprises or angry potential clients. I’m in here every day and am excited to talk with anyone ☺️ As long as they are respectful of course!! 💖💖

  • If someone doesn't respond to me I just move on and find someone who is interested in cuddling with me. Period!!!! I'm more interested in those who do respond and give a impolite response.

  • @Pmvines it's not about "ENTITLED" to expect that. It's about profesionalism being courteous, and kindly just saying no thank you I'm not interested... Its that easy... Lol.

    @BillyBean I couldn't agree with you more. You hit it right on the spot!

  • In this day and age this younger generation wasn't taught manners... So sad...

  • @Mattcudds your so right. Good point. Don't you agree he had a valid point? @ RaindropSweetie...

  • If you have a full time job and then come home to find several dozen responses, you would not respond to all either. Too bad the older generation was not taught empathy.

  • edited August 2019

    While we're generalising here, it also seems to be that the older generation forgets that they, too, frequently like to remind the younger generation that no one is entitled to anything. Not you, not me... oh, wait. It's about professionalism when it comes from a certain person's mouth! Gotcha.

  • The “You are not entitled to a response” answer is wearing thin on me. I agree, that you are NOT in violation of TOS if you fail to respond, but that doesn’t excuse poor manners. I know, even a few of the people I like on this site disagree, but I’d like to think most of us were taught better.

    For the non-pros, I understand if experience has shown you that a simple, “No thank you,” has brought you arguments and grief. Maybe you are better off taking a silent pass.

    But a word to you professionals. Please act professionally. Nobody’s time is worth $80 or $100 an hour. You warrant that fee because there is more time spent off-the-clock in conducting your practice, or business, whichever you consider it to be, than on the clock. So a one-hour session may actually take 3 to 5 hours of your time. Checking messages, phone or Skype conversations ahead of actual meetings, cleaning you host space, packing your cuddle outfit if you don’t wear it on the way to a session, laundry, re-writing your profile to suit the current climate, a million other things I can’t even think of. That is why so many if you discount second and third hours of longer sessions. Not because you will render any less service during those hours, but rather the overhead expense and prep time is nearly the same for a three-hour session as for a one-hour. Now that may be too long of a prologue to this: you are in business, you advertise your services and invite inquiries. Part of the reason your services warrant $80 an hour is to compensate you for these off-the-clock duties. If you are not giving a response to every first-time inquiry, you are not fulfilling you responsibility. I agree, if you tell me, no, I don’t think you are a good fit for my style (or any reason better than, “I don’t have to,” you need not reply to subsequent messages arguing the point. YOU, AS A PROFESSIONAL DO OWE EACH INITIAL INQUIRY A RESPONSE. You are being paid for it in your hourly rate. Okay, I said I had a word for you, it looks more like 300 words, so I’m done.

  • I do not know which side I fall on Mick, because I have not been on the other side of that fence. I get the point about manners, but at the same time, it is a business, it is only one person and there are only so many hours in a day. I have spoken to some pros that it is a side gig and they are inundated with messages on a daily basis and they deal with several frivolous messages. If they are asking for sex do they deserve a response? If they give off red flags? I would have to see before I judge.

  • edited August 2019

    Words are lovely things @mickcuddle I don't mind reading a lot of them, in fact you've probably noticed I go on my own paragraph-crafting journey quite frequently. The only time I don't respond is when the person contacting me is a known bad apple or outright asks an inappropriate question. In that case I just stay quiet and report them. Otherwise, typically, all Calgarians who are new and joining the site have already received an initial message from me welcoming them to CC. Not all of us are serious about what we do, it's a fact. Should pros be professional and open to all inquiries? Yes, yes we should. Not all of us will, though. And this is the point where I start talking about how things should be standardised in order to deter these kinds of make-money-quick-do-nothing types who often don't respond. I mean, there are a myriad of reasons outside of that as well. Part of dealing with rejection is accepting it... it probably does wear on a person after a while.

    I may as well disclose at this point to make my point a bit more clear: the OP is likely not getting a response (or the response he wants) because he has been called out by two established pros here twice since he joined. According to what I have read, he was called out for giving off the wrong vibe, one of which was declining a session after he made a clothing request. These things occurred as early as last month when he joined, and the clothing request just last week. He may not have been banned because no claims of abuse were made, people were just warned to stay clear of him. @2cute2cuddle you need to either evaluate how you are approaching people, or you need to tone something down, or you need to evaluate why you're here. Because your profile says one thing, these women have said another, and lightning ain't a thing that strikes twice.

  • I don't think it's fair to assume that just because someone wants to make some side income as time permits automatically means they have the time to respond to you. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. You never know someone else's life. You don't know how many messages they receive. You don't know what their day was like. My advice to OP and anyone else who thinks like that is move on. Don't you have more important things to get worked up over?

  • Even business professionals aren't required to say no thank you. I'm a landlord. If someone sends in an application saying they have 20 cats to fit into a property that clearly says no pets allowed in a city that only allows 2 cats max, I do not have to write back a no thank you. No property management company in the city would bother responding. I leave it and move on.

    My dad and a roommate were business managers for years, and my grandpa started and ran multiple business. It is absolutely professional to not respond under certain circumstances such as the above and failed job interviews.

    Non professionals are indeed interviewing you for a job that involves entering their personal bubble. Professionals are also interviewing people to a certain degree. Do we feel that you are risky? Do we feel that you are wasting our time? Do we think you are serious? Do we feel comfortable cuddling you?

    Many things could cause what is being described. I can't say what the issue is without knowing the people involved and seeing the conversation. Maybe they are on the fence. Maybe they are non confrontational. Maybe something was said or not said that stopped things. Maybe they forgot. Who knows?

    Does it stink to get ghosted? Yes. Is it a part of life? Yes. Is it a big deal? Nope. There are thousands of other fish in the sea.

  • Yeah that and your name says you can't be cuddled anyway :D

  • [Deleted User]roamer1999 (deleted user)

    @Sheena123 - good common sense/common courtesy answer. I think the response obligations are different for an enthusiast compared to a pro. The enthusiast has no obligation to respond. I believe a pro is obligated to respond because if you are a pro you are in business and that changes everything. By analogy, if I throw a dinner party, I can invite or not invite anyone I choose for any reason, or no reason at all (enthusiast). No questions asked. If after my culinary skills have been praised to the high heavens (not) I open a restaurant open to the public I no longer have the same luxury of arbitrary selectivity (pro). A pro, again a business person who provides a particular service, can certainly indicate on their page that due to demand their response time to requests is 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months....whatever. A screening process such as questionnaire, telephone call, coffee meeting before cuddling, reasonable and consistently apply also seems perfectly acceptable. Of course, there's no obligation to respond to inappropriate requests from potential clients.

  • Except businesses have the right to refuse service...

  • @roamer1999 Not all businesses are required to provide service to all people. In fact, many have it right on the door to the establishment. "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason" is the message I've seen most often, and where have I seen It most often? Restaurants....the very business you chose for your analogy. : )

  • edited August 2019

    @roamer1999 Professional cuddlers also are not restaurants. We can't (or at least really, really shouldn't; I don't know what the laws are where everybody else lives) discriminate or refuse service based on protected classes, that's about the only thing that service in the restaurant industry has in common with professional cuddling. Communicating on a website where people can either operate casually or seriously and not getting a response isn't on par at all with walking into a place, expecting to be seated, and the hostess is ignoring you.

  • @Catloaf Fairbutfirm wasn't saying that we are the same. Protected classes are protected either way. We do have to right to refuse service, and that was the point made. Every business has that right. Every person has that right. We can't say, "I refuse to serve a person based on skin color." That's when it becomes illegal.

  • I always reply to messages just out of professionalism regardless. But I think some pros do not reply if the person is very far from their location and they don’t think it would be possible to meet with a potential.

  • edited August 2019

    @RaindropSweetie Sorry, my response was to @roamer1999, I just forgot to tag. I'm on board with you and @fairbutfirm regarding your points made. Hence, I suggested to him that the analogy is only correct when you take protected classes into count.

  • Ohh, okay. 😁😋

Sign In or Register to comment.