Being Blocked

MAvery007

How can one possibly decide to block someone when they've never spoken to that person? What is the point in sending a pro a message only to block her before she even has the chance to respond? Its happened on SEVERAL occasions : if it were an isolated incident I would not be typing this now. Any insight?

MrCuddlenity

Sorry to here that. I guess some people changed their minds or some has hidden agendas. It is the internet so pros and clients must trust their instincts. I block pros and never send a message after I viewed these pros profiles because I don't think that person is a good fit for me (too high of a price to just do public or no effort in writing about themselves etc etc). I don't want to accidentally view that person's again so to not waste either person's time

pmvines

Some people get real fussy if you don't respond to them right away . They like to believe they are the only person in existence and that you are staring at your device twenty four hours a day awaiting their message . I have been blocked and don't really get upset over it . I can't say though that I've been blocked by someone who has messaged me first though...

Georard

"...How can one possibly decide to block someone when they've never spoken to that person? ..." There might be several reason, from a teen just having a fun around attractive women, to a real competitor. One of a news anchors has shared her own experience when she wanted to conduct an experiment and date a just stranger (on Tinder). She was completely surprised, that in 90% those "strangers" had never shown up for the date, and many of them had block themselves from communication with her. You can just guess who those "strangers" could be.

Lovelight

We might never know... Personally, I reserve blocking for cases I deem fit. Edit: meaning I don't block unless I really think it's warranted. end of edit.

Maybe you said in the forums something they either disagree with, or that offended them? I don't know. Or as they read your profile had similar experience though only realized after messaging you. So they thought instead of you having to respond thinking y'all are cool, and then them having to continue and explain said factors: perhaps they thought the latter would be best. Whatever the case, they deemed fit. Though it's understandable that it can become questionable and to a degree bothersome when it keeps happening. Another hypothesis/theory(?) lol. is that they are trolling, and such.

UKGuy

Some people's minds work in strange ways. Not just guys but women too. If they are that weird, you wouldn't want to meet them anyway would you?

TheFunCartel

@UKGuy Strange has been redefined with the current leaders of our country. Strange is the new normal.

MrFirefighter

The only one's I block are the "pros" who don't have the time of day for you when they are a non-paid enthusiast then suddenly become the friendliest woman on the website after going pro and then decide to reply or contact me. Uh, no thanks!

PeopleLikeUs

I block only to tiddy up my visitor's queue.

Catloaf

@MrFirefighter Some do hide behind a "persona" once money is involved instead of just being themselves and that's unfortunate. I'd say it's a telltale sign of someone deciding they'd rather make money than get their needs for touch met as an enthusiast. It often works out to a detriment because people can tell when that mask is being worn.

It could also be the fact that they know there's a risk of sexual assault or misconduct as an enthusiast, and they wonder if the volume of messages, inappropriate requests, and boundary pushing will go down once they turn pro. It doesn't by much, at least in my experience. The only thing that changes is enthusiasts who are looking for other enthusiasts won't message you. Some folks might have a dialogue (which I don't agree with) that goes something like this: "Why would I risk so much for free when others are getting paid?" In my opinion that isn't a good enough reason to go pro, but I'd bet it does run through the minds of some.

MissAdventurous

And some clients, or people in general, just have silly assumptions that have nothing to do with a stranger reaching out at all. I think it's hilarious because they end up being so wrong, not a reflection of me, so I l am often chuckling.

Not my cup of tea. 👌

Kinda lack luster as a person to be so shallow minded you can't think outside of yourself. Think it is real mediocre thinking if that's the first thing you think of. Not someone I would consider putting my time into. 😆😆

Hahaha laughing just thinking of it

Catloaf

@MissAdventurous And it's usually the same crowd of people who have some sort of agenda with attacking people who don't reply on the forum anyway. After reading about 5-10 echoing comments about the blocking or "no reply" issue from the same person, I don't even laugh anymore. Some of them should be sorting those issues out before they set foot on any site to meet people.

To those out there who have problems wiyh being blocked or not receiving responses: there are some very well-trained folks at Cuddlist who can help out with that. If you need a reason to see a pro, cite your need to develop acceptance and healthy reactions to rejection. Then come back here and you might have a better time.

MissAdventurous

Oh yeah @Catloaf my degree in Psychology only goes so far with some of these people. It's rather tedious to hear others rather blame someone else about their NARROW mindedness for an explanation for their highly exaggerated view on things.

if they can't get on board with communicating and being healthier towards those situations, thats their PERSONAL ISSUE. Not mine.

I'm here to help, not be someone's emotional ragdoll, ya dig? 😆😆😆

Catloaf

We can't like comments, so here's a cookie instead. 😁🍪

Lev136

I believe that many block without realizing how busy a pro or other might be, and not being paitent for a response. Many pros have jobs other than cuddling, and therefore might not get on the site until later in the day , or will do so only every so ofen.

In other cases, they have so many messages that they sometimes cannot respond ot everyone at one time.

If I don't' hear from a pro. or other I usually wait a few days and if I don't hear from them, I'll remind them and if I still don't' get a response will move on.

Lev136

PS: I have only blocked those who have been rude with me or otherwise gave me responses that weren't serious!

Lev136

@ Catloaf and @MissAdventurous , I think that some of the people on here complain because their expectations are not being met......you have to understand what the other person might be busy with, or what they are actually like before making complaints!!

Lev136

the laset comment was supposed go to @Catloaf as well..

MissAdventurous

my job is not other people's expectations, I'm here to reach a common ground and work with people to make sure that we are both comfortable and having a good, therapeutic time and making progress in growing in our own personal lives and learning how to platonically connect with others and ways that are not normally a rule for society to bond over.

I am here to work with people and be understandable, I know things come up and we all view things differently, but that does not give anyone the right to treat someone like they're a rug to wipe their dirty feet on emotionally whenever they feel they're not getting the attention / fill in the blank for themselves because they feel justifiable from their own basic perception of the world and nothing to do with interaction with the other person.

Be on this site or in life in general, I do not feel that is acceptable and I do not accept that in my own life. 💯

Lev136

@MissAdventurous , I wan't saying that you need to do what others expect. I am only saying that some don't understand what cuddlers do while cuddling and otherwise. I was especially talking about how some expect cuddlers to return their inquiries right away.

Catloaf

Hey @Lev136!

I get what you mean, we've talked about it for a bit now about how some people can be very demanding and unforgiving when they communicate with others. The sense of entitlement some have really helps nobody in the situation. If left unchecked, it can grow into a somewhat narcissistic trait where a person expects that others should be at their beck and call. Most people have lives to tend to and things they need to get on with that don't center around CC.

We all want to feel acknowledged and heard, and when we speak about a lack of that from other people, we can draw inward and make sure we acknowledge ourselves first. That's how truly confident people move. And I think that some folks can start that process of acknowledgement by looking at how comfortable they are with rejection. If someone blocks or doesn't acknowledge me, regardless of my belief that it's rude, could I maybe just acknowledge myself for now and move forward positively? I think I could. Other people's motivations are not my issue, as MissA stated.

PS. Hope you're feeling better and doing well.

Lev136

Hey @Catloaf,

I'm not in any way saying your job has anything to do with other people's motivations. Just that some have various issues that cannot be resolved on this site.

PS: Starting to feel better. Will message you later tonight!

Catloaf

Oh, no-no, I hadn't misinterpreted your comment. I had to re-read a couple times but got it crystal clear. Just added in the point she made to drive home my own. Let other people with issues solve 'em, because I'm not about to make them my own! Take care of yourself! (:

CaliCuddlingGuy

It's really sad to think grown men and women are getting their panties in a wad because they are blocked or don't get a response.

I'm quite sure the forum will let me know if I'm being too insensitive.

MOD Edit: Removed bad word [SoulcuddlerZ]

TheFunCartel

I am amazed this thread is still going on. If someone blocks you who cares. If someone you do not personally know outside the internet blocks you and you are traumatized, then you have issues that require professional help. A hug ain’t going to do it.

Catloaf

@CaliCuddlingGuy It is a bit sad. Some people can't accept endings without some type of closure. It's just something they need to work on.

BlackRaptor

I tend to shrug off stuff like this. I was once told off by a woman because I didn't immediately respond to her message. She said "I can't believe a man your age doesn't have better manners!" [edited for language] and blocked me. I got a good laugh out of it because I happened to be in Hawaii at the time and there was a 6 hour time difference. Of course she didn't know that, but a little bit of patience might have paid off for her. LOL.

Is it a generational thing?

Missy87

Who knows why people block others, especially if they've never initiated a conversation with them. It could be that they didn't like your photo, what you wrote in your profile, you resembled their ex or a teacher they hated back in high school, or any reason at all. Personally I will only block someone if they sent a creepy message that indicated that they have obvious intentions to break the rules of platonic cuddling, was overly pushy or rude, or one of the annoying timewaster people. If there's one thing I've learned it's that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay.

Lev136

@Missy87 , i thank many of us who have been blocked at one time or another have been blocked for reasons unknown. I have been blocked by others without having a real conversation with them or because they didn't like something I said on the forum, which was my opinion. Others, because I disagreed with them on an issues it seems. In one case, a cuddler and I blocked each other after having a bad session.

It just happens!!

I hate that you can ONLY block 200 people.

mb0

@FunCartel

"If someone blocks you who cares. If someone you do not personally know outside the internet blocks you and you are traumatized,"

Nobody is traumatized; they're annoyed. They're discussing interactions they don't understand which seem rude. This is perfectly normal and healthy. It's unkind to parody and trivialize others' experiences and thoughts.

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Regarding the original issue, I think different people see online conversations differently. I (and maybe @MAvery007) see them as not too different from real-life conversations. Imagine if you were having a pleasant conversation in real life and the other person suddenly without a word got up, walked away, and completely ignored you from then on. That's what, to me, the incident described by @MAvery007 seems like.

Other people seem to see online conversations as a completely different thing from a real life conversation, with much less social obligation.

When people from these two categories interact, confusion and hurt feelings can result.