@mb0 It is not trivializing their feelings in this instance, it is facing reality. The reality is this will always happen on line. Always has and always will. The only way you stop it is to take away the ability to block, ignore or leave whatever site or forum you are on. Then you would see arguments, hurt feelings and nastiness escalate because there would be no recourse but to face the people they wish not to engage. The “annoyance” you point out is actually a peaceful tool that keeps things civil. I would much rather be blocked than be stalked by someone unhinged, angry or misanthropic.
Besides, your assertion is very postmodern because if you feel I am trivializing someone’s feelings about being blocked, then the contrary is as easily true as well—you are trivializing my feelings in regards to blocking.
@FunCartel
"if you feel I am trivializing someone’s feelings about being blocked, then the contrary is as easily true as well—you are trivializing my feelings in regards to blocking"
No. I didn't claim you were trivializing @MAvery007 's feelings because you disagreed with her. You were trivializing her feelings because you exaggerated them to the point of mockery and implied there was something psychologically wrong with her for having them. This is what you said:
I am amazed this thread is still going on. If someone blocks you who cares. If someone you do not personally know outside the internet blocks you and you are traumatized, then you have issues that require professional help. A hug ain’t going to do it.
Imagine if you had instead said something like this: "Unfortunately this is the reality of Internet discussions. People don't feel obligated to be polite the way most people do in real life. It's best to just accept that some people will disappear on you and don't dwell on it." That would have gotten across your point perfectly well without insulting @MAvery007 and others who've been frustrated by similar experiences.
@mb0 you are misinterpreting what I said as a direct response to the OP. It is an overall observation of a thread that continues to resurface in various forms on the forum. It is an observation and one that has been voiced by others before. It is looking at the history of this topic and how it is beating a dead horse. Could I have been gentler? Perhaps. But this is also a topic that historically plays like an endless loop on the forum. I was talking in broad terms while you were reading for specificity.
And in real life I would argue that if you use the perspective of time that people avoid speaking and expressing their feelings more now than they did forty years ago. People shy away from face-to-face conflict now. It is too convenient to be anonymous and vent on line to people. I feel this is one of the many reasons why there is nastiness online because people are less inclined to confront things head on. I find that annoying but I am not going to create several threads about it. That is the whole point of the post. People ghost, disappear or choose not to engage in real life and to some extent or another it has always been that way. The internet is no different. But how does that alter your life course? That is a better question.
@FunCartel , I agree with @mb0 . Like I said many times people get blocked for reasons unknown. I know this is the internet and you most likely don't know the person in real life but they should tell you why you were blocked before blocking you!!!
@Lev136 In a perfect world I would agree. My point, and I will not budge from it, is it ultimately does not move the meter on how it affects your life. Annoying? Only if you lose perspective about it. And the perspective should be that people will do what they do. Think about it, if they block you without reason then what kind of friend or acquaintance would they be to you? I look at it as they did me a favor—one less person I will possibly be mislead or deceived by. I would rather be blocked than deceived.
@Fun Cartel, I understand your point. But, how would you feel if you never really had a conversation with that person and suddenly blocked??? I have had that done to me already.
If someone I didn't have a conversation with blocked me, I woudlnt feel as though I am owed a reason for it. After all, I never had a conversation with them to begin with. In the case of the OP, I do feel it is odd that someone would reach out to you and then block you before being able to respond to them especially if the message they sent you seemed pleasant enough. In her case, it sounds like entitlement issues because she didn't respond back in a timely manner though I could be wrong about that.
@Lev136 If I never had a conversation with that person and they blocked me it is like they never existed to me because they never impacted my life in any way. Just like I do not fret about someone living in a tropical paradise on an island in the middle of the ocean who I have never met. Well ok, I am jealous of them but it doesn’t affect my life at all.
It seems that there are three sides to this. There are those who think blocking is a big deal, there are those who don't think anything of it, and then there are those that think blocking is a big deal but there's something about the way they act that is weird. I don't know how to explain it. But it is more than gut feeling. And I don't usually like to post conjecture or what may be gut feeling.
I have been blocked a few times (like 3 or 4). It sucks because there is a feeling of rejection or whatever. And you're not always given an explanation. And I understand wanting one. But at the same time if you need an explanation that bad the person above who said you need more than a hug is right. I am almost 100% positive that hearing the explanation would not make that person feel better. I think if you need the explanation that bad there is probably much deeper issues at play. Or if you need to hear the reason because you feel you need to explain yourself and that happens quite often you probably arguing something to warrant being blocked.
Maybe they don’t like you looking at their pictures 11 times a day? Or 10
Been blocked a few times. Although I did not know why, I lost less than a nanosecond of sleep over it. Bigger fish to fry.
Well everyone is different it all depends on how long it has taken a pro to respond to their messages..responding in a timely manner is essential. Regardless if its here, your job, relationship, etc etc
@SpartanGuy you mean your soul was not crushed by a person you have never met blocking you?
For me to each his own. It's a personal right and choice to use as one will. For those of us on the receiving end the same principle applies.
@Lev136 Why ****should **** they tell you that? Is it sometimes the right thing to do? Probably. But, I can think of many instances where telling someone would be worse.
@btrmc , it happens, this morning for example, I reached out to a woman who lives not far away from me about cuddling together. I checked on her this afternoon. I was blocked, all I did was reach out to her. It doesn't make sense!!!
@Lev136 one thing I will say is that if you are contacting someone who is a non pro about cuddling right away it might give them pause with you . I don't know of course if that was the case , just am suggesting if it was to hold off on the cuddle talk until you get to know each other a little and they are comfortable with you .
@Lev136 I have cuddled a couple of ladies who told me they get inundated by messages from guys and the best way to whittle it down is to block those they are not interested in. They never stated what the motivation was other than they did not have several hours to reply to each individual.
This is the internet, we as a group are looking for connection anonymously instead of stepping out our front doors to do it face to face. We all have our perceptions and theories about world and the people around us; that's what makes us unique. So you get blocked, I've personally been blocked by two of the commentors on this very thread. So what? I've never met them, have no desire to meet them, and honestly how does their decision to block a woman half way across the country effect me in anyway? I used to get upset about it and even pout a bit because I can't stand the thought of any one not being my biggest fan. My life has gone on without the ability to private message them and it will continue to do so. The beauty of this site is that for every one who blocks you there are usually two new members willing to fill that gap in my friends box. All told I've probably been blocked 6 times that I know of, two weren't even in my friends box to begin with! The only time I block is if the private messages start crossing lines of any sort.
I get blocked all the time just for simply being a transgender woman. I had a guy literally tell me that I made him question himself and his masculinity lol. And I've been blocked for being a professional cuddler too. People assume that because I'm being friendly that it's a way of me attempting to solicit business when all I am is just a friendly person. It doesn't bother me one bit because I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea lol. I can understand the situation from both sides, but if the whole "not knowing the reason" thing really bothers you then maybe there is some self reflection that needs to happen. You just need to be realistic.
Blocking is a useful tool if it is used appropriately. I'm happy when I get blocked. That's one less person to deal with. I only block a person if I have no intention of ever communicating with the person. If for whatever reason we cannot have an authentic respectful conversation that honors our humanity. If for whatever reason I believe someone has shown that they don't value me as a person and just sees me as a possible waste of their energy or day. Getting blocked by someone I already felt has no use for my humanity is a huge relief to me. Getting blocked by people who just view my comments or accidentally visit my page and feel uninspired is just as fine by me. I don't know you, and I don't care. Your choice. Your right. Your loss. Today is another day Tomorrow another opportunity.
I will block if after I read there profile and see things that I know will not work good for me, like a smoker, I don't smoke at all, so for me I do not like the smell of smoke. If I'm out of there age range they are looking for. Maybe there are guests only and live to far away. The main reason for me would be when I reach out to someone and I see they did look at my profile, then do not even have the courtesy to reply back, this I just do not understand, but I'm so glad that I was taught better at a very young age. So after all the blocking when I do a search, then less posts to look at. I will also look at and read a profile just to help me with some hints on what all to put in my own profile, as I'm new to all this.