Gender differences

docgatorb

I was wondering again about the preponderance of men on this site compared to women. I have assumed, as other have, that this simply a general reflection of the male gender tendency to take the role of the pursuer. Recently I was thinking about the general tendency for men to compartmentalize things in their life and the tendency for women to be more holistic in their approach to life. In this regard, I was wondering if the idea of separating the touch/cuddling form the sexual act generally is more intriguing to men than women. Just a thought.any other takes on this?

MrMountainLion

It is not uncommon for women to cuddle other women; it is far less common for men to cuddle other men. On the other hand, men are far more open to cuddling women than women are to cuddling men. So yes, separating the idea of cuddling from the sexual act is much more intriguing to men than to women. The reason for that is that women generally regard men as objects - as simply a means toward the end of utility and wealth. Men, on the other hand, value women for who or what they are as persons.

brownEyes

Can a woman please verify or falsify this statement: "[...] women generally regard men as objects - as
simply a means toward the end of utility and wealth. Men, on the other
hand, value women for who or what they are as persons. "
I do not believe in this though my ex would totally fit into this model.

areli

I doubt that general statement can fit all. There are sugar moms and pops everywhere lol looking at the numerous ads irl that objectify and sexualize women, it hardly shows them are being "valued for who or what they are as persons". 

angela10

I definitely disagree with "men value women as who and what they are as persons". This is from my personal experiences. You have no idea how many times I have been flashed and inappropriately touched on NYC subway since I was a teenager. Men have asked me for directions in their cars/vans with their private exposed.

Two old men have offer me money from the site. One to cuddle and the other one for sexual services. And, NO I did not accept either proposal.

Grace_Anna

The reason for that is that women generally regard men as objects - as
simply a means toward the end of utility and wealth. Men, on the other
hand, value women for who or what they are as persons.

I'm sure it's true that some women value men for their money and that some men value women as people. However, not all men and women fit those stereotypes. I look at it as my job to earn my own living and I don't see men as sugar daddies. I am fine with cuddling either men or women. If some women aren't open to cuddling men, it's possible they just feel safer cuddling women. Most men are not rapists or Jack the Ripper. However, since a very small minority are, that could lead to a woman feeling unsafe meeting a man she doesn't know. This doesn't necessarily mean that all women are safe either, it just feels that way when you hear about Jack the Ripper instead of Jane the Ripper.

Crispin

Jedi, you are saying that men value women for who and what they are, that is, greedy, selfish, misogynists.
If I thought that then I would only cuddle or partner w men.  Have you  heard of any objective evidence of this gender bias? That is, other than your own experience?

Jedi, what world do you live in? As a general rule, always exceptions, men are looking for a physical connection and women an emotional connection. Both may say they are interested in only cuddling but for many the hidden agenda for men is sex (very object oriented), just ask most women, and for women it is a relationship, let's have coffee and get to know each other.

An example about us guys, I have used a professional cuddler that told me 80% of her clients are looking for sex.

So for guys looking for a physical connection it is frustrating to deal with the relationship.issue. But guys, isn't that why we want to cuddle a woman, because they are warm, emotional, affectionate beings that is a function of their relationship tendencies? Otherwise, as Crispin points out, why not just cuddle men. You probably would have a lot more takers then.

angela10

@Thnola, thanks for your post. I appreciate hearing your pro cuddler experiences. That explained why guys stop pursuing after I tried to pick their brains by asking a few questions. The local guys are only interested to find out how soon we can meet and request to see a picture of me. Hahaha.

From the ladies, I would like to know what is the problem with meeting in a public place soon? It seems to me it would more quickly determine compatibility. I do understand the need for some questions up front, but why the resistance to meeting? I am curious. Need help to understand the female mind.

yaslin789

@THNOLA, I like the idea of meeting in a public place first. May be because I am so used to meeting people for lunch that I meet in Craigslist. I had the idea a while back. One day I wanted to go eat some Peruvian food and didn't feel like esting alone, so I placed an ad in the platonic section looking for people to meet for good conversation and good food. I am an intersex person and was aparamedic for many years so people love to talk about those subjects. I've always had good times with people. We meet at the restaurant, eat, and then go each other's way. I can't understand why someone would have a problem with that.