What rule would you break to put somebody's needs first ?

pmvines

This question was posed today at orientation for my third (yes third ) job today at UAB hospital by the CEO in reference to patient care . He said that no matter what you do , if you put the patients needs first , you will do no wrong and he will back you 100 percent . So he ended by asking the group , what rule would you break in order to put the needs of your patient first? So I pose this to the users here . What rule would you break to put the needs of another first ? Not just related to work but in any avenue of life ?

TheFunCartel

I think this was posed by Stephen King’s The Dead Zone. If it would save lives, murder would certainly be a line to cross.

KariMeiSnuggles

When I worked at a daycare I was told we were not allowed to hold the kids. I had this little boy who was 2 in my room who would break down crying every time his parents would leave. I would pick him up and hold him and after a few minutes he would calm down. His parents would thank me for it and the little boy obviously appreciated it. he even recognized me years later at a grocery store and ran up to me to get a hug. While I understand why the daycare would have this rule I feel there are times when children’s comfort should come first and since the parents approved it the daycare couldn’t reprimand me for it.

JasonCuddles

I would break any rule if the situation called for it. I would not hurt someone because someone says I should. Rules should be seen as general guidelines, not some black and white contextless orders to be followed to the grave.

@JasonCuddles I so agree with you. "Rules are general guidelines" that are road maps we customize and adapt to fit our unique situations.
I'm assuming "rules" to mean or refer to social norms, unspoken but practiced behaviors, expectations.
Unfortunately the harshest rules we often face are the stereo/archetypes of the roles that is expected of each gender that play out in the judgment of people's actions.
Case in point. A woman is often seen as the caregiver especially to her children. When I walked away from my children's father I had an honest discussion with them about what living arrangement would work best for them. They were teenagers at the time. I made my decision based on my children's expressed needs. And so the choice was made. They didn't live with me. Yet from teachers and school guidance counselors to co workers, neighbors and family and even total strangers I'm given sad,weird looks, apologized to, cut off in mid sentence or plainly dismissed whenever the topic of my children not living with me comes up. By choosing my children's need for social, emotional and physical stability, I've somehow broken the unstated yet understood rule that a mother never leaves her children behind. And when she does, she's either a drunk, drug addict, crazy messed up loser or just s plain selfish. I have no regrets. My children thank me every chance they get.

adorable48

@pmvines what was your answer to the question the instructor at uab posed to you guys?

snuggleme123

@pmvines oh you reminded me what they teach over at UAB

https://youtube.com/watch?v=n5Zw4ZARvNg

TheFunCartel

@adorable48 I doubt there was a singular answer. It sounds like they were being asked by a bioethicist or ethicist. Usually, at the end of the day, everything is a maybe with them. But it makes for interesting cocktail party banter.

AceCuddlerMike

Would just have to weigh the good you are doing for the person vs the fallout from the rule break, on a case by case basis. Also how much power does this person having my back have? Would him doing all HE could to back me be enough.

I think most people would put a bullet in Hitler's head if they had a time machine.

geoff1000

Sometimes the rules are there, to stop people doing what seems to be the best thing, when that would actually be the worst thing.
I think the key is to understand the 'goal' of the rule, and achieve that ; which might mean breaking the rule, if it doesn't work in that situation. Most good rules have a "reasonableness" clause, which lets a judge or jury accept any behaviour when the alternatives were worse.
I do have a problem with "utility" ethics, which say I should mount the pavement with my car and squash a pedestrian, if several drunk pedestrians have suddenly stepped into the road and I can't otherwise avoid squashing several of them. I might, but I don't want the drunks thinking I certainly would.
Geoff

pmvines

@snuggleme12 Holy god on a skewer I never knew that existed lol! Of all the major innovations in research and medicine out of UAB to think that this is what somebody comes across when it is googled!! Ha ha that made my day thanks

pmvines

@adorable48 Professionally, I am not certain, it really depends on the situations. Personally, there are few rules and laws I wouldn't break to protect my loves ones.

sillysassy

@snuggleme123 (Omgosh. I am going to think of Vibes doing this rap all of the time now! Especially with the PADDLES!!! 😂😂😂)
Back to the serious comments. Sorry for the intrusion. ❤️)

Catloaf

In an abusive family system or relationship, unreasonable rules and expectations are often put in place to maintain control and keep victims living in fear, walking on eggshells. It takes just one person to begin breaking the cycles, and in so many cases it ends up being the "black sheep" of the family - the person who sees through everybody else's BS and has had enough. Walking away from an abusive family/family member is a "rule" I'd be happy to break if it meant the comfort and healing of myself or anyone else I loved could happen a little sooner.

snuggleme123

@pmvines I came accross that years ago but but it is still funny as hell. Glad you liked it!

sillysassy

@Catloaf oh my. Yes. Completely and totally align with that. Rules for the sake of abusive control (in any circumstance) HAPPILY!

What rule would I break, putting somebody's needs above the rule.... Uh.

I'd have to say that even if the needs in question are mine, I'm not breaking any rules unless I think the rule-breaking would be worth the consequences. If the trade-off looks worthwhile? Honey, I'll break any rule! (I break gender rules all the time. Some of my favorite rules to break, right there.)

So... case-by-case basis, I guess. Also, "break" doesn't look like a real word to me anymore. It looks like a bird call or something.

littermate

Break! Break! Break!

littermate

PS @DarrenWalker what are your favorite gender rules to break?

Ooh, good question @littermate! I can't list them all, but here's a few:

・ I like to mostly ignore my nails, but sometimes I paint them even though they're not long or delicately shaped.

・ I don't show a whole lot of emotion, but if I feel like crying ( and it won't get in the way of anything else I need to do) I'm darn well gonna cry until I feel better, thanks.

・ I have a buzz cut, but sometimes I wear headbands anyway.

・ I'm quiet and easy to overlook in person (a coworker once described this as "major NPC energy"), but when I know what needs doing and it's not being done, I don't hesitate to stand up and give orders.

・ I wear cargo pants and t-shirts bought in the men's section, but sometimes I'll also wear lipstick.

And so on. Basically, my favorite gender rules to break are the ones that say I can't be the person I am. You can break one of these rules, or two, but if you break too many you're in flagrant violation of stereotype.

It's one thing to follow all the rules for stereotypical manhood except that you wear makeup, or don't like sports, but break enough of these rules (or big enough ones; try wearing a dress in public, AMAB types), and society gets twitchy. I like to be myself, and when it makes people uncomfortable? Well. They can deal with it.

All gender rules that say I can't be myself or do or wear what I like are my favorite ones to break.

littermate

Bravo. Love it.