Holiday Haters Welcome!!! (no shade please...)



  • Christmas was re-purposed from a celebration of the days getting longer again, which is a bit awkward for anyone in the Southern Hemisphere. It is also the point when the coldness is really getting serious, so it's a bit premature.
    My brother always includes brussel sprouts with his Christmas dinner, even though his whole family hates them, but "it's a tradition". He might have been joking, like when he asked how William Shakespeare could have concentrated on writing his plays, with so many tourists trapesing through his town.

  • I could give reasons for both loving and hating the holidays but blah blah blah blah blah who cares whatever. Either be festive or be a cranky fart whatever suits how you feel is what is important not what internet strangers think

  • @pmvines ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘. Thank you. If I said it the forum police people would come out with the nightstick finger wags. Lol

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)
    edited December 2019

    I love the holidays because of the feeling of something magical about them that has held over from being a child, however, as you age, you realize the holidays are for children or parents of children. I agree with the "forced" feeling of doing this or that...why shouldn't you see your family year-round if you love them? Why not buy presents year-round if you see something someone you love would enjoy? I suppose that is where I am at now in my life--be kind to people, tell the people you care about that you love them, and do nice things for others year-round. Don't save the goodness for 4-5 weeks a year. Life is too damn short.

  • edited December 2019

    @pmvines and @FunCartel I WANT TO HUG YOUR NECK!!! No forum police here. I really am excited to see people's perspective. I love the holidays for a thousand reasons and hate them as well. What is so fun for me specifically is to understand the WHY of all the internet strangers that I have a certain similarity with. It's not that what you all think will change my mind its just extraordinarily interesting that we who are all so different have the ability to connect on this level. Do you guys need a hug?? I would TOTALLY hug you if we were close!!!

    @2dogmom I can't wait until we get to have coffee... :) I will hug your neck too!! (For different reasons <3 )

    I have so much else to add but please carry on... My eyes are sleepy for some reason.... (I am so self centered I really think y'all are having this discussion for ME!!! hahahhaha

  • @sillysassy You can hate and love at the same time. It is called mixed emotions. If someone didnโ€™t have that regarding most things I would question if they actually had a capacity for introspection. The more you examine a thing the more beauty shines and the more revulsion sets in. If you only see beauty in something you are deluding yourself. If you only see ugliness you are cognitively lazy for not searching for the beauty. No such thing as perfection.

  • @sillysassy: It's just the sound of the bells that goes through my head like knives, not the bells themselves (and thank social norms for that). So silent bells would be just fine by me.

    Ridiculously enough, I really like the Carol of the Bells (so long as there aren't any actual bells in it). Now, that's irony.

  • Here in England, a lot of children get bicycles for Christmas ; when it is too dark/cold/wet/icy to ride them safely.

  • edited December 2019

    @DarrenWalker omgosh... you are so funny. I love Carol of the Bells! As long as its voices... However sometimes people's voices are like knives as well!!! How interesting that they are so hard on your brain. I love jingle bells. :/

    @2dogmom I can completely relate to this. "life is too damn short!!!" SOOOOO TRUE!!! You can see your family year round (if you want to). What a fabulous thing to buy presents year-round (if you want to). Why wait for the silver and blue or Red and Green??!?!?!?!? Don't save the goodness for 4-5 weeks a year. (I think this will be my new motto!!)

    I have been more angry at the holidays this year because of people and their "shoulds". UGH!!! Ain't nobody got time for that!!! If we can start a trend of doing what is really in our hearts instead of the "expected" or "forced" I think we would all be better off. EVERYONE! One thing I was thinking when I originally posted this thread was how many people are interested in the idea of cuddling even though it is somewhat non-traditional and not widely accepted in certain areas. I wondered how many people were practicing that in the whole of their lives or was it just this specific part surrounding touch.

    @FunCartel I am most certainly a picture of mixed emotions. hahahha Its interesting that you said.... "If someone didnโ€™t have that regarding most things I would question if they actually had a capacity for introspection." Hmmmmm I am going to have to process that a little bit more. I wholeheartedly agree that you can find whatever you're looking for the more you examine something.... If you are searching for beauty you can find it. If you are looking for awful you can find that as well. I think that is to be said of humans. We are all perfectly imperfect. (IMHO) I don't want to be deluded by people or anything else but I want to keep focusing on LOOKING FOR/FINDING the beauty in things and people.

    @Karibaby831 I'm sorry to hear about your depression. That is never easy.... I wish there was somehow we could all find a way to balance what we need in the way of self-care and boundaries without feeling like everyone around us will grant us with shame/disappointment/anger etc. I am reading this amazing book by Brene' Brown and she talks a LOT about these cycles and trying to get past and through them. I spent many a year in your position of trying to please and then never feeling like I was enough. The perfectly baked apple pie with the cookie cutter pie crust that "had just a touch too much cinnamon" or the house that you're frantically cleaning and the laundry that "seems to be piling up" GAH!!!!! No more. I want authentic people in my life and I want to love people right where they are at. (which sometimes means they need to have some distance from me!!) I hope you can find some room in your days to make sure and take care of you as well as everyone else's needs.

    @geoff1000 We have that kind of thing as well here in the states. A FOOT of snow and we're all tunneling out to the garage because my dad got us a trampoline!!! I hadn't ever heard of Christmas being re-purposed from the days getting longer... how interesting. Brussel Sprouts? Who wants to do that if everyone hates it?!?!?!? Same thing with those gross sweet potatoes with marshmallows and brown sugar!! Who knew those potatoes could taste so good if you made them savory??? hahhahaha of course I love brussel sprouts... a little olive oil, salt and pepper, grilled and a bit charred.... but I digress.

    I was thinking that most people who hated the holidays might be passionate about the religiosity of it all but so many people have posted and not one single person spoke of "For the love of all that is holy please no more songs about a baby in Bethlehem!" Almost every single post has been about societal and familial pressures and lack of authenticity. This is so intriguing!!!

    CARRY ON!!
    (Now I'm imagining Leonardo DeCaprio from the Iron Mask as he motions with his hand in the air in front of the crowd)

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Cyber Monday might as well be a holiday.

    9.2 billion in sales.

    Suck it, Halloweenie.

  • @chococuddles I think you are amazing!!! hahahhaha Halloween needs its own kind of love!

  • The American Diabetes Association has Halloween on their terrorist watch list.

  • @FunCartel you are so right.... I can't tell which is runner up? Christmas with toffee, cookies and dipped pretzels or VALENTINES DAY??!?!?! (aka Single Awareness Day)

  • @sillysassy
    "Single awareness day"
    A friend has just told me he'll be throwing a big party over Christmas, and asked me if I would be spending the holiday alone.
    When I said I would, he replied, "That's great, can I borrow some of your chairs ?"

  • ohhhhhh @geoff1000 that makes me sad. :( We should all fly over the lake and have a cuddle party!!!

  • Oohhhhhh, @sillysassy I'm right there with you.

  • I have a friend who decided to host a "Never Alone at Christmas" dinner on Christmas Day.

    I'm curious. For those of you who struggle through the holiday season (for any number of reasons), would this kind of thing make you feel better or worse and why?

  • I hope you will be pleased to hear that I will be spending Christmas cheering up an elderly couple at an old people's home.
    Actually, it's my Mum and Dad, and it's their home, but I suffer from chronic "leisure sickness" ; which means that when I'm on holiday, I have to pretend it's work.

  • I personally wear a diaper and lay in a makeshift manger and wait for strangers to bring me gifts. I accept all gifts except that kid down the street with the drum.

  • "Why wasn't Jesus born in ( choose nation / town ) ?"
    "Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

    A friend of mine was annoyed by a neighbour's kid banging a drum, so asked him, "Have you ever wondered what's inside one of those ?"

  • Chinese New Year is the holiday I loathe, abhor, despise the most. Going around wishing "Happy New Year!" with oranges and/or a handshake depending on the age of the person.. Hordes of known and unknown people in each house. Visiting the homes of relatives thrice-removed.. Having your home invaded by CNY 'well-wishers'. All of these people I see once a year, - or the strangers, never at all - or when they want to nosy about my house and my life. (I say that because they do not contact me at all and cut off all attempts of contact)

    For an extreme introvert like me with social anxiety and a bit of a misanthropic world view, this is pure torture. If I could die to get out of it, I would. And now due to my numerous attempts over the years to get out of these, I am seen as disrespectful and/or a weirdo. I've had people spew at me "you hate this?! How can you? You're weird!"

    I'm living in an extrovert world. :(

  • @geoff1000 fantastic! I've destroyed a whole ton of things as a kid, by wondering how they work ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • omgosh. @geoff1000 "I suffer from chronic "leisure sickness" ; which means that when I'm on holiday, I have to pretend it's work." hahahahahha how do you ever give yourself permission to cuddle? Do you have to pretend its work??? Your mum and dad. So cute. I'm sure they'll have plenty of honey do's for you.

    @Windchime oh my! I'm an extrovert and that doesn't sound like fun either! I'm sorry that you have to live under labels that make you feel so uncomfortable. You said "I am seen as disrespectful and/or a weirdo. I've had people spew at me "you hate this?! How can you? You're weird!" I hope that someday we as humans will have the ability to let people be their best selves. WHATEVER that might look like, holiday or not. I was in Vietnam for the Chinese New Year. It was unbelievable. I felt awkward as well. I can't imagine what you must go through. So from my country to YOU... I wish you every bit of peace and solitude for any and all of your holidays. So many hugs to you!

    @FunCartel Classic. hahahhahahhaha Spot on. "Bring the presents!! Leave the Drum."

  • I was making myself a sandwich at work, and someone complained that I had put too much pickle on the cheese. "Tell you what", I said, "I won't make you eat it".
    Cuddling for me is a real chore, but well, someone has to do it. ๐Ÿ˜€

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