Confusing denial

[Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

I sent a message to a pro a month ago signifying a desire to possibly set up a session. No reply, because she seemed t be offline for a bit. I see she is back on, so ask about her availability. She responded asking for a photo. I provided her with a photo. Then she tells me that she doesn't cuddle with married men. I have always been upfront that I am married, putting such information in my public profile. I used to live on the west coast, and had several pleasant buddies. I have found a different vibe on the east coast (with one or two exceptions - you know who you are :) ). I mean no disrespect, but this site seems to have changed since I first joined 3 years ago (including the number of "non pros" who expect some kind of payment). Is anyone else finding such confusing frustrations?


  • edited December 2019

    I can’t speak to the married part because I am not, but yes it has changed regarding non-pros as you have noted. Just turned one in yesterday. However, you have hit on something geographically—it is much easier to find buddies non-pro and pro alike on the west coast and I also find the West Coast ladies to be more upfront, chill and better cuddle buddies. There are, of course, some exceptions out east, but I sometimes find myself saying it is not worth it when I travel east and go without cuddling. Many of the east coast ladies seem to be very distant and just going through the motions. Just my few cents.

  • She should have told you politely “Hi, sorry I couldn’t answer you sooner. I noticed your profile says your married. It’s just a preference for me, but I don’t cuddle with married men. Sorry “. Or she should have that on her profile to save people time. I’m not sure if she was rude to you or not but asking for a picture and then giving a reason to decline a cuddle seems like she either forgot to look at your profile first or she’s shallow and your looks don’t suit her wants. As a pro, we aren’t really suppose to have preferences. Or maybe that’s just to do with sexual orientation and skin color. I’m foggy on that lol but she should know that signing up as a pro, most clients are married. I want to make any client that comes my way to feel comforted and safe, whether they’re married or not. But she’s allowed that preference I guess... sorry you wasted your time.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @Sheena123 Thank you for providing a pro perspective. I did not take her words as rude, but thought it was odd that she would ask for a picture, and then hours later inform me about her prohibition against married individuals. I have had a few pros decline my pursing a cuddle session because I am married. That is fine, but having that in your profile would have saved both of us some time.

  • @BigHugsPA I think it is a bit shady the way she asked for a pic so quickly and then turned you down shortly afterwards claiming she doesn't cuddle married guys (a good way to cut your potential clientele in half at least). Probably for the best it didn't result in actually meeting.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @MissX Agreed. It all worked out in the end.

  • @BigHugsPA I visit the Philly area often and I find that there's in general a hard time finding good cuddlers in that area which is why I do so well when I'm visiting. Not sure if it's a PA thing but in general here in Boston things seem pretty chill and straightforward among cuddlers.

  • Funny I find Philly easier than Boston.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    I suppose it's just part of being human. It seems we often take something very simple and basic, and find ways to complicate it.

  • I hope you find some kinder, more courteous cuddlers in your area soon <3

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @softandlovely Thank you. Me too. Getting a bit discouraging, but I am a hopeless optimist.

  • I think professionals should be people who are comfortable seeing any client who is safe for them to see. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with judgment =( I travel full-time in my motorhome and go wherever people seriously request me to come. But I won't be back in the northern states until the weather warms up =P I would be happy to be in touch. Pennsylvania should certainly be able to be in my "every other month" circuit during the warmer months. I went through in early October of this year =)

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @ubergigglefritz Thank you for your kind understanding. I'm about ready to give up. Hope to see you in the Spring thaw.

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