Maybe we should have some pro-cuddlers, who don't actually cuddle, for those who want to get used to the idea before they participate. I overcame my fear of flying, by going on flight simulator rides, which I knew were firmly fixed to the ground. Part of the UK driving test is to watch a video of hazards and identify them, in the safe space of knowing that a mistake only dents the "driver's" pride.
@Windchime To overcome fears, face them. To be trusted by others, begin by trusting them first. There will always be those who will disappoint you. You may have to be disappointed many times before finding a quality individual. Don’t give up.
From @Windchime: Do you have social anxiety in general or just with cuddling? Mine is the former, so even meeting people in person is really hard for me.
No social anxiety apart from normal levels. I'm an ambivert in everyday situations, a social chameleon. But cuddling fires up that PTSD pretty fiercely.
Some great advice in there...
and @geoff1000 I LOVE this "A pair of lorry drivers passing on a deserted road at might, might flash their headlights as a greeting ; or a semi-comatose patient, might squeeze their spouse's hand a little in return. When stuck in a desert of human connection, sometimes the tiniest oasis can feel like a lake."
I ride... and as odd as it sounds... another biker holding out their hand to his left and waving over to me, and me waving to them... I have no idea who they are, (They have a helmet, are they 20? 40? 80? male? female? no idea) but it just feels nice to be acknowledged by someone who may understand me even just a little
@Windchime Most of what I would say has already been said. Find the RIGHT person... talk with them first. At the start of my sessions I'll let the other person know... I'm here for you... whatever you want to do, or feel comfortable with. That may just be sitting talking, and looking into each others eyes... maybe it's holding hands... Or maybe it's being all wrapped and cuddled up in a knot. laughs. There is no 'end goal', other than enjoying the time we have together.
I don't know if you travel, but maybe finding a pro when you're in another city. You're there once... you never have to see the person again. Sometimes that can be more comfortable. Check for kudos... Maybe even message some of the people who gave kudos to the person and ask more questions. (Yeah, they could always be fake, who knows.)
I used to have crazy bad social anxiety. After I got diagnosed with ADD, and got on proper medication... that's been quite a bit better. So I definitely understand the social anxiety part... (Even going out to restaurants used to get me crazy stressed out. Pretty much any social event... doing anything on my own for the first time... or even doing it with others, because I would be all anxious about what they were thinking about me doing whatever it was for the first time. Ah heck, it was pretty much anything gave me anxiety LOL.)
A truly good good cuddler, experience or pro, should start by asking what u like & keep it conservative- like a head or foot rub, just sitting side by side, etc. If they detect u like what your doing, they won't rush you into something else. In time they might ask if you'd like to stay like this way or try something else- be honest & if you know something you might like, suggest it. Or say u love what they're doing & just relax. One of the nicest things an experienced snuggler or good pro experiences is a feeling that they've actually helped a person relax. On this site, look for positive comments from others, stars & good karma. You might not find one in your area, so expand your search & don't hesitate to think about traveling a bit if you find somebody. It's a lot easier than taking your chances time after time with the multitude of people here that either are new also or have other agendas in mind. You need a positive experience to start