Every question is also a statement.
"Have you stopped beating your wife ?" ( Yes, she is now much better at chess )
Would you like a drink ? = I am offering one, not "so would I, but I have nothing in".
Perhaps better then, would be to make the statement. I am allergic to X etc. Stating that one is allergic to all materials, so it must be a zero-g naked cuddle, is probably no good.
@creedhands fascinating
@Sheena123 I'm sure it's frustrating being continually asked this even though it's on your profile but we have no idea if it's listed on this particular cuddler's at all or if their profile is super long and he just simply forgot or never saw it. Also like I mentioned earlier we're not privy to any of the conversation up to that point. Again I don't think asking the question is ever a bad thing but it's how you ask and what your intentions are for asking.
@creedhands I agree with the issues around allergies, heat, and comfort. I also ask about scent now because I had a cuddle partner where I caused a headache because they were uber-sensitive to scent. I didn't bathe in it but it was too strong for them. They were kind and did not say anything until later (when we were planning to cuddle again) but it's something I do try to remember to ask now.
Since I have recieved a few...um...confused PMs- the hippo comment was sarcastic. Sarcasm is my native tongue.
@creedhands A native American was discussing the relative weights of some tribal ladies. He noted that the two who were seated on buffalo hides, together weighed the same at the one who was sitting on a hippo hide.
"The squaw on the hippopotamus, is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."
Well, someone had to pick up the bait.
@geoff1000 OK, you win Dad Joke of the Day. Eternal braggin' rights :-)
My first cuddle and only cuddle, i asked about attire to make sure i was ok with basketball shorts and a tee, and she explained what she was wearing and it was exactly what i expected. I was only thinking of how i could be as comfortable as i could while being in the guidelines and making sure she was comfortable too.
I did speak to another cuddler, and she plainly let me know that clothes were optional and that she i didn’t mind nudity. I didn’t cuddle with her and she was soon banned but i think questions need to be asked.
I've seen so many people being banned. What do you have to do to get banned. BREATH
@geoff1000 That's great! But when the squaw on the hippopotamus skin died, would the equation have nothing-two hide?
I think asking about one's own suggested attire is OK. Or ask the other person what their previous cuddle partners wore, that was considered good/bad. Or even say what ones previous partners had worn that was good/bad. "I am thinking of you in various clothes", has some bad connotations.
A couple of warnings :
If the fancy dress invite says "Come Dressed As Elves" it would be good to confirm if that should instead have read "Elvis".
"Black tie" is an ensemble including a dinner jacket, white shirt, and trousers.
"I was warned because I asked a cuddler what she would be comfortable wearing for a cuddle session. Shorts, skirt, dress ? I've cuddled before and the cuddler wore a skirt, so because of that I didn't see any harm In asking. The cuddler said that I was rude for asking her that question.???"
If a guy I don't know asked me that question, that would be a bit of a red flag. 1) Why does he want to know? Why does he care? 2) ALL of those options assume my legs are showing or way more accessible than if I were wearing pants, which is not mentioned. Why would I wear a dress or skirt for cuddling? It definitely would leave me wondering what the guy was up to.
Guys need to understand: You're asking a woman to put herself in a very vulnerable position with a complete stranger. And way too many guys coming to this site are looking for more than platonic cuddling.
"What do you prefer to wear when cuddling?" would have been a lot better but really, I'd prefer if a guy didn't ask at all. It shouldn't matter.
If allergies are a problem, just state that. If your place is warm, just state that.
BTW, the title of this thread is misleading. OP got warned, not banned. Not the same thing. That leaves me wondering if the OP tends to distort things a bit. Between that, the clothing question, no profile pic, and the only thing on their profile is, "I'm a lot of fun," I'm seeing some warning signs. I would not consider them as a potential cuddle partner. May not be predatory but at the very least appears a bit clueless. If the potential cuddler in question was a non-pro, perhaps the OP should stick with pros.
@Babichev to be fair I've been asked by women on here what I wear while cuddling and asked on a couple occasions if there's anything I prefer they wear , so it matters on some level to a lot of people of both genders. Now myself I've never made requests unless prompted and when I do ask I do ask in a general sense IE " What do you usually wear or what do you feel comfortable wearing ? " and leave it to cuddler to decide whatever that is. I would never ask that they wore a dress or a skirt , if that's what they decided for themselves than so be it. A few I've seen have wore shorts but again never prompted it was something they decided on their own.
@hugonehugall Context is everything.
It never honestly occurred to me to ask what my cuddle person was wearing or to ask him what his preference of my attire was. I assume cuddler will dress comfortably with their partner mind and vice versa. But I see there are a number of other considerations in terms of allergies, etc. Good to know.
@Babichev I agree .. I've mentioned that as well before.
@Babichev I agree. Imagine the female cuddler asked, "Do you think testicles taste better fried or roasted ? " Some men might be concerned about such a simple culinary question.
I would prefer freshly laundered jammies that had one of those no static spark things you put in the dryer so you don’t make sparks . I do t always have a chance to tell the cuddler though . Certainly not the same oants they wore on the drive over , stopping at the gas station kneeling down in the wet oily pavement to put air in their tyres
@cuddleagain08 "I've seen so many people being banned. What do you have to do to get banned. BREATH"
I can tell you what has gotten a few people banned . . . asking about nude cuddling, trying to kiss potential cuddle partner on first meet and then when informed they are violating the rules, respond, "Well, then, I'm not interested." Or the guy who asked if it was okay if he wore diapers. This was not because he was incontinent, it was a fetish.
Several guys who have contacted me have gotten banned (not from me reporting them) and all but one of them were giving me the wrong kind of vibes. Not enough for me to report them and i don't remember exactly what, but they were saying things that were either a little too familiar too quickly or hinted at something else. One sent me a shirtless photo with his second message and suggested we trade massages.
Of the guys who have contacted me, almost half ended up getting banned. I was not surprised.
@Babichev Thanks for sharing your misfortunes. At least the guy was honest about his diapers, he could have explained a different excuse.
Once with a female dating partner, I recognised that she didn't want to engage in "the activity we don't talk about". Instead of confronting her reluctance, I made up a fake condition on my part, and asked if was OK if we broke tradition for a while. The look of relief on her face, the feeling that I had done something so valuable for her, was worth to me far more to me than a dozen afore-non-mentioned events.
I lied to my partner about sex, I hope I can be forgiven.