Host

Could someone explain to me what Host means?

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  • Host = the other person goes to their permanent place ; home, or business premises for some pros.
    Some people are more comfortable only doing that ; others aren't, or have no suitable place.

    Guest = the opposite, will travel.

    Public = literally public, as in cinema / park ; or a temporarily rented place such as a hotel room.

    It really only refers to the availability of location. It doesn't mean the Host must lay on food etc.

  • How safe is this? How I know that nobody will force me to do some things I don’t want to do? Or if that place is safe? :(

  • I'm afraid I can't help there, but I like to think of pros as taxi-drivers who can be reasonably trusted to act properly.

    If that would make you feel unsafe, try true public cuddling first ; such as leg-leg contact under a table in a café.

  • Good definitions and suggestions @geoff1000

  • @Drop_the_Mike
    Thanks, it was one of my shorter ramblings. 😀

  • @Manshako not saying this to be mean or rude, but if you are uber concerned about going to someone's home, then being a pro may not be for you. I suggest you friend other pros on the site who've been cuddling a while (catloaf or missadventerous are two that come to mind) and ask them for advice.

  • Sorry @geoff1000 , I found the host definition you wrote pretty torturous.

    @Manshako this isn't rocket science.

    For a cuddle to happen with privacy, someone has to provide a place. That place often is a motel room. Only a minority use their own home. The party providing the place is being a HOST. That of course makes the other a GUEST.

    The use of a motel has some safety aspects. The host has provided picture ID and a credit card. He or she is well aware they can be tracked by law enforcement if there is a criminal sexual assault. It is also neutral territory, with both arriving in separate cars. You have other people around. You can easily see if there is anyone else there. You can leave when you choose.

    People who host at home may not do so until they know you well. Thus, a host designation still leaves open the question of where. HOSTING AT HOME, has pros and cons. Depending whether you are male or female, the host or the guest, determines what's at play.

    Public was well described previously. No home or motel is used. It can be indoors, such as a movie theater, or outdoors such as a park.

  • @Groucho
    My understanding was that if one party rented a temporary place, that would be "public", ; and "host" was only if it was a permanent place.

    I'm open to be corrected by vote.

  • @Groucho you are incorrect in that a majority rent a hotel room. Actually most people host at their private residence if they are able to.
    Yes some rent hotels if they have to or host at the hotel if they are potentially traveling.
    @geoff1000 public is exactly what it sounds like public IE movie theatre , park , museum any place in the public eye. Whether it's a hotel room or your own residence if the cuddler comes to a private venue you are providing you are hosting.

  • @Manshako You can minimize the risk by
    1. Never rush into a date without doing all your normal due diligence.
    2. Due diligence means:

    Text back and forth to get a feel for the guy's intentions, etiquette, personality. I recommend getting at least one picture not already online. Get corroboration using LinkedIn or Facebook. Even do a reverse search on his phone number. Read his karmas.

    Let a friend know who you're meeting, where, and the arrival and end time. Don't host. Don't reveal too many specifics about your family, work or places you can be found.

    Collect money in advance, always. Be prepared to leave without refund if it goes south at anytime.

    I even recommend a motel, providing it is in a decent area you are familiar with.

    Let your host know that he isn't fully anonymous. Handle this delicately, as people may be put off by it, but some because of their ilI intentions. If he knows you know, you are safer. No creep wants to be caught or reported. Money up front puts some financial risk on him and makes some casual creeps think twice about groping and grinding.

    Good luck

  • edited January 4

    @hugonehugall

    I have about 22 cuddles under my belt. 8 different women. 2 provided their home to host me. 6 did not and we used a motel. I am very good friends with 3 of the cuddlers, they use motels exclusively.
    Of the 22 cuddles, 4 were not motels.

    Maybe its regional?

    Edit: forgot input from 4 males I know here on this site. Probably another 20 cuddles. All at motels. Zero at homes

  • @Manshako I conquer with @2dogmom I think you need a little more soul searching before jumping into this. Not too many people if any are going to give you the level of private information @Groucho is suggesting. Ultimately it'll be up to your gut about who to see using the best vetting processes you have reasonably available to you. Yes exchange a few messages or even a phone call and a picture before you meet if that makes you feel more comfortable but anything above beyond that you run the risk of cutting your client pool if you're truly here for business purposes ( for which I hope is not your only motivation )

  • @Groucho the only time I've used a hotel is if either I or the host cuddler was traveling. Other than that it's always been at my host residence or theirs. I'll think you'll find a lot more are comfortable inviting clients to their home and going to the clients home than you think as long as they're vetted properly.

  • @geoff1000
    Re definitions

    I think this may be in FAQ. Certainly covered across many Forums.

    Motels or rented spaces are never, ever defined as public.

  • edited January 4

    One negative a hotel room rental is when block of rooms is reserved by wedding parties . One stay at a Marriott, I was at the edge of such block of rooms it was terrible . The partying , the walls were not sufficiently sound attenuated. I had to get myself moved to the other end of the hotel .

  • @hugonehugall

    Getting "that level of information" isn't hard at all. You may well have been background check and never knew it. I get it on the woman about 80% of the time. All you need is a name or landline phone number. After that its connect the dots. Some knowledge of FB and Google helps.

    Find your own comfort level, male or female. And check the bathroom. LOL

  • @Groucho I was just saying that most people here aren't going to give you their FB or LinkedIn accounts ... Nor should they in my opinion at least.

  • @Manshako you can also read the forum threads to see many discussions about how to keep oneself safe to develop what works for you.

  • So if the parties arrange to meet at a hotel room, sign in, and pay half each, which is the Host and which is the Guest ?
    Would that arrangement be better than one booking, and the other sneaking in ; because the hotel gets ID off both ?

    I think if I were meeting someone in a hotel room, which they had booked for the specific occasion, I would expect to pay my half, at least. If not, I'd be relying on someone to have a place, or pay all the expenses ; which whittles the female non-pros down even more.

    If we are defining things, is a public cinema different to a public park, because in the latter, one is being observed ?

  • @geoff1000 All but one of my cuddles have been in a hotel room. Luckily either myself or my cuddle partner have been one of the hotel chains’ premiere customers so whoever had the benefits booked the room (with an agreed-upon price point) and then the other person paid via Venmo, PayPal or cash when they arrived for the cuddle. If you have to define who is host I will say the person who booked the room.

  • I’ve only hosted twice at my house and that was with the same cuddler but I wouldn’t do it again and actually haven’t done it before or since.
    The rest of my cuddles have been in a hotel room or I’ve been a guest. The last one was also at a hotel and it was more than I would usually pay but it was the end of the year and I thought it would be nice to treat myself to a nice cuddle session, and the cuddle pro gave me a free hour so it was worth it.
    Looking back I have hosted a lot more than I’ve been a guest and so far it has worked out well.

  • Iv’e done all three!! It all depends on what the two parties are able to do and feel comfortable with!!

  • I'm a non-pro, but I'm one of only three non-pro females in my area at last check. Granted, this skews things a bit as not everyone can and is willing to fork out a lot of cash for cuddling. For my safety, I require an in-person, public meeting before the first cuddle. I require a photo of my partner to verify them at the public meeting. I also require quite a bit of conversing either via the website or text (using an anonymous number on my side, of course) to discuss boundaries and expectations. And I'm pretty handy with Google and social media.

    With that said, my first and favorite option for a first cuddle is a movie theater. It's public enough for me to feel safe, private enough for a good cuddle, and cheap enough I can usually swing the cost on my very modest budget. I have also, however, met someone for a first cuddle in private if we have common friends IRL, which give me peace of mind and my partner a little extra reason to be a gentleman, I think. Sharing with iffy partners that I'd already shared their info and my location with a third party also helps. I have never once hosted at my home.

    Even with all my precautions, I've walked out of a handful of cuddles that the partners couldn't keep their hands to appropriate areas or because they in no way matched their photos so I had verifiable proof they're at least liars in one respect. There have been maybe 10 cuddlers scared off by my requirements, too, before the first cuddle could occur. 🤷‍♀️ But a handful out of two dozen or so successful encounters seems like an acceptable success rate to me. I prefer the freedom of remaining non-pro.

  • edited January 4

    @geoff1000 I would consider a theatre and a park to be defined as "public".

    @hugonehugall and @Groucho The majority of the cuddlers I've seen do not even provide real names, and some use app phone numbers or pay-as-you-go not linked to anyone's name. I have cuddled with a number of pros who did not want their personal information known. And they never asked for mine, either.

  • I cuddled with 1 pro in her place, couple times. Other pros & 1 non-pro cuds were in hotel room I provided - some discounts

  • @calineur Seems we have completely opposite experiences. 100% of my female cuddlers have used their real names, though only one provided her last name voluntarily.

    My other point, on security, is that there is a difference between trying and failing (in terms of securing info) and assuming you'll fail and therefore not trying.

    My post mentioning due diligence suggests standards or goals. Each person can either tighten or loosen them to their personal comfort level.

  • edited January 5

    @geoff1000

    On paying for a motel room.

    I have never even thought to split the cost or ask the lady to pay. When they indicate they only act as Guest (or Public), if I want a session, I need to be the Host. How could I be a Host and not provide the place?

    If a lady says she is available to Host, it usually means her home. However, many women exclude that option until the second or third session. If it means she already has a motel room, I'm ok with not paying anything toward it.

    In suburban Detroit, a decent room has cost me $55-73. Hourly Pro rates from $60-100

    There are exceptions to everything, especially if drafting creative hypotheticals.

  • @Groucho please share the names of hotels you are talking about

  • edited January 5

    Red Roof Inn, Rochester on Crooks

    Red Roof Lake Orion near Palace of Auburn Hills

    Red Roof of Royal Oak near Oakland Mall

    From December thru February, stay two nights, get one free. Which nets a $39 room

    Don't assume all locations are equal.

    Some Days Inn are ok too

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