**UPDATE** Cuddling with People in Physical Pain

edited January 18 in General

A few weeks ago I posted this forum post: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/7511/suggestions-for-cuddle-positions-for-people-in-physical-pain Thank you all again for your cuddle suggestions and kind words on that post.

UPDATE: I arrived in Boston yesterday and, while I was flying in, my friend was being transferred to an inpatient hospice facility. His passing is "imminent" according to his hospice nurse. Possibly even today or tomorrow.

There will be no cuddling, but I am heading to see him later and hope for a handhold and a hug. I am trying to "cry it out" before I go but the grief is overwhelming. Almost breathtaking. Whatever your beliefs, please lift him and his loved ones and ask for their comfort and solace.

Lastly, it may be cliche, but remember always that life is very, very short and if you care for someone, if you love them, open your heart, let down your guarded wall of protection, and tell them. Be with them as much as you can. Also stop saying you are not worthy of love and instead embrace all the love that comes your way.

Grief is the price we pay for love, but love is a gift and it makes life so much sweeter.

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Comments

  • Hi @2dogmom ! I am so sorry about your friend. I often take care of other disabled and chronically sick folks. Almost a year ago I lost a friend with EDS. Feel free to message me directly! I also happen to be in the Boston area, so consider me a person to lean on while you are here. Thank you for such a lovely and wonderful post. <3

  • @2dogmom you have a friend in me and you know I'm a phone call away

  • @2dogmom - You're a kind soul for sharing that time with him. That's a hard thing to see. E-hugs to both <3

  • @2dogmom you have my prayers. I hope you get to hold his hand.

  • ❤❤❤

    Big hugs to you, @2dogmom .

  • I am glad that you are there with him. My heart goes out to you and his family. Be strong.

  • Hugs and prayers sent ❤️

  • Please do consider periodic power-sobbing in the privacy of your car or the bathroom to keep moving the grief through and keeping your heart all softie and lovie. <3 <3 <3 Feeling you.

  • I’m sooo sorry to hear that. Maybe you could have a long hug 🤗. Let your grief flow. That’s the only way YOU will heal!! Please reach out for support. You’re loved

  • edited January 19

    @babestorm @CreativeCuddles @EdoubleN18sngl @adorable48 @hillbilly thank you.

    @pmvines and @Sideon love you both.

    @littermate trust me that is pretty much what I've been doing since 8 am this morning... sitting in my hotel room having periodic bouts of power sobbing waiting to go visit this afternoon. I am praying I can cry out all my tears but, so far, there seems to be no end.

    @safensecure4u2 I am glad too, but even the strongest people can only take so much and my pool of strength is pretty damn drained.

  • @2dogmom totally. Been there. <3

  • @2dogmom
    I think it's from the original "Mad Max" movie, where Max is telling his wife about how much he loved a particular walk in the country with his since-departed father.
    When she asks why he is recounting the story, he says, "Because I don't want to wait until it's twenty years too late, before telling you how much I love being with you like this".

  • @2dogmom We are all sending you a group cuddle hug 🤗

  • @2dogmom so much love my friend. <3

    @littermate power sobbing. Yes. Get the grief through.

    What a beautiful source of support shown here.

  • My friend and I this evening.

  • @2dogmom
    I think his smile says it all.

  • edited January 18

    Thank you for the update and for this beautiful pic. Sending love for his journey home.

    And thank you for reminding us of the shortness and preciousness of life.

  • Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetness! <3 <3 <3

  • @pmvines of course she has your number. I would like to know how many women on this site DON'T have your number. I do!
    That was not public thread appropriate. That particular post should've been private. Stop being a glory hound.

    I dare you to challenge me on it knowing my history and the reason I have your number to begin with.

    @2dogmom , I was/am a hospice worker. I do in home care. The family, dying person, and professional staff coming in to the home of the dying.
    I'm glad you got a last picture. Good memories will always push out the temporary sad or bad ones. Cherish your memories.

    Any cuddle is a good cuddle for chronic pain and dying. Toward the end with the families permission I actually do get into the hospital bed and just touch everywhere. Ive always gotten amazing responses. Touch is immensely powerful. Just do it. You'll never regret it and by the imminent stage, even Paul can agree with this, touch is welcome. At that point everything will hurt but the power of touch will over ride at least some of the pain. The warm and weight of touch, will get through the pain and may even take the person back to a childhood memory. Be careful but ALWAYS touch at death. Always.
    If for no other reason then to let the person feel another presence as they cross over from one life to the next. Takes away a part of the fear.

  • edited January 19

    @PaulaDahla i saw on another thread you commented about the “toxic” environment on the forum. Comments like yours to @pmvines aren’t exactly kind. Your comment could also have been sent privately.

    I appreciate your comments, however, due to distance and my respect for his family, I will not be with my friend when he passes. I said my goodbyes yesterday.

  • I thought she was jestng and loving on him. Now I can't wait to see if I just had my rose colored glasses on again.

    Great input @PaulaDahla.

  • Lovely smiles, lovely friends ❤️

    (And I do not have pmvines # 🤔)

  • edited January 19

    Ah! Sorry this is happening on your thread about such a heartfelt matter @2dogmom . Seems she is due for her quarterly rant .

    It's ok . I have her number cus we used to talk until I found out how erratic and unstable she can be .I will not divulge details of why I consider her to be erratic and unstable . Not my style . She has actually made multiple accounts and used those to troll me as well .

    I ordinarily would not ever make a post like this in the first place , but since you are using a gesture made to a friend on a public forum who made her needs known on s public forum and you wish to comment on my post made to my friend about something personal that she herself chooses to share on a public forum, I have decided to make an exception and point you out since you seem to feel it appropriate to do so with me . But good job with hijacking the thread to use it as a means to display your bitter and nasty attitude. Stay classy @PaulaDahla

  • What a great pic @2dogmom love it!!!

  • @2dogmom Its a beautiful photo and a friendship to be forever grateful for. I am glad you got to spend some treasured moments together. True friendships are priceless. My thoughts are with you.

    @pmvines I see why you are in the medical field. you have a heart of gold and I treasure our friendship.

  • I guess I couldn't understand why anyone would want to be mean to you @pmvines
    .

  • @littermate Always pays to have clear vision! :smiley:

  • @pmvines hey free number! I want your number if everyone else has it! You want mine? Here : 1.
    In all seriousness I think cuddling for physically ill people is a wonderful idea. The power of human touch is huge. I work in hospice and though some patients don’t like being touched some love it and crave it. I offer massage services (not by me) to all the eligible patients.

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