Expiration Dates

Or as some may call them cuddle tourists. I know the object is welcome any & all who are willing to try their hand at platonic cuddles but how do we feel about those with self imposed expiration dates ? In our head do we second guess their motives for being here ? I personally don't because everyone has a story and I usually try to reserve judgement until I hear it. But some of us are probably much more critical. For instance how many profiles have you read here that start with the following " I decided to come here after a recent breakup ...... " I would never deny anyone rebound cuddles or affection when they probably need it most but are they splitting once they get over that horrid ex and find someone new ? Do they see platonic or " therapeutic " as one once called it something to only seek when not in a relationship ? With that frame of thinking do they really view it as something strictly platonic ? Or maybe there's no way their new squeeze could ever get down with them cuddling other people. What if they told you that from the beginning " Once I find Mr or Ms right you're cut off " would you even proceed ? What if you meet the perfect local cuddle buddy in every way but early on in the process they tell you " So I'm only hear for 6 months then my job is transferring me to the Artic to spy on penguins " 1st of all do better career wise ... But more importantly do you immediately hit stop knowing this 100% temporary ?
The tourist bug just doesn't strike enthusiasts oh no ... It also affects the pro / client dynamic as well. I'd be curious if a pro was disappointed when that perfect client stopped coming around and they found out later it was because he or she found a relationship or lost a job. Or if you as a client after a session with your favorite pro she dropped on you " So yeah things are getting serious with this guy so I won't be doing this anymore because I know he's not ok with it and I really want it to work. " or they tell you " So in another month the credit card debt that racked up because of student loans and my Kate Spade addiction will be paid so I won't need to cuddle strangers anymore " Does it hurt like you're losing a good therapist or doctor or like that great dry cleaners down the street that pressed your slacks perfectly or is it deeper than that ? In any of the examples I mentioned is more of a procedural strain or emotional strain when we think we've found the found the perfect cuddle partner but only to find out they're only hear for a good time but not a long time. Does that make us take us pause or do we just go for it not knowing when the next one will come around ? Just the ramblings of weirdo at 8pm on a Tuesday night but comments are welcome.

Comments

  • edited February 4

    I'll bet it varies by the person. I'm only where I am temporarily and tell my pals that. I've never had someone say, then forget it. I'm not sure the default expectation here is continuous cuddling...?

  • @littermate
    Seconded. I think we must all have in mind that a cuddle partner, like a cuddle session, is unlikely to be forever.
    As one general says to another in "Julius Caesar" on the eve of a battle, "If we do meet again, then we shall smile ; if not, this parting was well made".
    "Romeo and Juliett" ends with the couple cuddling for the rest of their lives, but not in a good way.

    When a particularly pleasant relationship ended, I consoled myself with this thought, "If I knew at the beginning, that this relationship would end with such heartache, would I have still started it ?" Having answered myself with an emphatic "YES", I had to agree that fate had not been cruel overall, but had instead merely let me enjoy the time a little more.
    About 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce, which is sad ; but it means almost 2 in 3 end in the death of one partner ( 1 in 5000, they die together ).

    We can treat every cuddle as the last, or one of an endless sequence ; but we have to know deep down, that "all good things must come to an end". My plan is to adopt Julia Roberts' plan from "Pretty Woman", when she tells Richard Gere ( out of earshot ), "You ain't never gonna want to let me go".

  • I can’t speak for every pro but for myself, if I have a repeat cuddler that found someone and they want to leave my sessions, I’m incredibly happy for them. I’ll still message them if it’s comfortable with them. I’ll never be upset at that ☺️

    I think it is something that enthusiasts should share amongst each other because some can get attached very quickly. So if that information is shared at the beginning, at least there is no surprise.

  • When I first read the thread title, I thought it would be discussing people expiring while on a date.

  • People need to be free to decide what they want to do with their lives. That can change over time, and usually does. Try not to take it personally.

  • "No plan survives first contact with the enemy", or in this case, "the cuddle partner".

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