Question about profile

I am just curious why there is a question about wanting/having kids if this is a platonic site? Why does it matter, if only to indicate a caring nature(?) or if kids would indicate a scheduling conflict(?). Just curious because when I visit a guys profile, it doesn’t matter to me if he has or doesn’t have kids because I’m not looking to be in their life that way, and especially if it says in the future. If that makes sense.

@Mark

BoomerSpooner

Here is the easy thing to do—just don’t answer the question!

Too bad you can’t enter your own answers in like:

Children Why?

Children Yes when paired with fava beans

Children Myself

Children That I know of?

Sheena123

It could just be another thing to connect with somebody. Like how you can choose what your fave shows and movies are and that being a great conversation starter. Or those that say they have pets. I think it’s just another good icebreaker ☺️

@Sheena123
I guess I can see that. But I wouldn’t mind asking those kinds of life questions after deciding to get to know the person better. Which is very different than fave movies and such, I can ask a random person on the street those questions but asking someone if they want kids in the future is more personal, not invasive but the intent behind asking is more related to dating and marriage compatibility than friendship compatibility, like a favorite movie or a pet. Maybe my perspective comes from my walls and defense mechanisms, Lol. Thanks for responding!

sillysassy

@FunCartel you are killing me today!!!! hahahhahahah Did I say I'm glad to have you back????? 😁💖🥰

Children Yes when paired with fava beans

I do think it creates some connection topics like @Sheena123 said, I also think its a bit of info that helps people understand things that might be time conflicting as well. (I feel the same way about the car question.... does that mean they'll need a ride? Are they just energy conscience? Do we need to meet close to a bus stop??)

Also.... Like pets or smoke.... People might be ALLERGIC!!! Good to be transparent I suppose.

@aplatonicfriend Welcome to the site by the way!! What a fabulous puppers!!! I agree with @FunCartel there are plenty of things that I don't answer and I figure those conversations can be held down the line throughout our personal conversations. Happy Valentines Day!!

@FunCartel
Lol 😂

My first thought when I saw that question was to know if the host of the cuddle session would have children running around.

PeopleLikeUs

If you leave it blank it doesn't appear on your profile.

@KatLittle
I’m just curious, not judging, is that a thing to have kids running around while cuddling? Is that something I should be aware of? I never anticipated that so it kinda surprises me.

@PeopleLikeUs
And I am aware you don’t have to answer the question but i just wanted to know why it’s an upfront question.

@sillysassy
I figured the car question was for the same thing, that travel might be out of the question.😂

PeopleLikeUs

@aplatonicfriend You don't think people are dating here do you?

No, that’s why the question piqued my curiosity. I personally would only care if someone wanted kids/ had kids if I was going to be in their life like that. Since I’m not, I don’t really care either way. But I also don’t want to take attention away from the kids or the person I’m cuddling with if their kids are around, if I’m understanding the scenario properly. So it would be awkward for me to cuddle with someone if their kids were running around. Maybe I’m overthinking things cause I don’t know any better.

PeopleLikeUs

People are dating here and the moderators know it, so they provide information that matters to those who are dating while setting policies to the contrary. In a professional work setting, dating still happens even though it's not supposed to. This is the emergence of a new culture. The people involved are doing their best to navigate something that has been considered early-stage relationship development into an activity all it's own.

I like knowing if someone has kids simply because I would never cuddle in a situation where kids were present. It's not fair to expect kids to voice feelings about having a stranger close to their mom or dad, or even present in the house. I wouldn't impose on a child's personal living space or situation even if it was okay with mom and dad. @aplatonicfriend I think you're right about that.

geoff1000

If two people meet up regularly to just cuddle, and they don't cuddle with anyone else, are they :
a) Cuddle partners, as is the spirit of the site ; or
b) In a monogamous but non-sexual relationship ?

I think this is a question like a zebra being a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes.

Some profile questions would be useful for (a) but not (b) and vice versa.

My definition of dating, is when two people do far more with each other than with anyone else ; be it kissing, having sex, holding hands - or sending personal emails.

BoomerSpooner

Kids are not running around these days. They just play video games.

geoff1000

We teach our children to walk and talk, then we tell them to sit down and shut up.

@geoff1000 As a professional painter, I can tell you that (in color pigmentation) white is the absence of any pigment. Therefore a zebra would be a white horse with black stripes since you can only add color, not take it away. Of course, this is only hypothetical since neither horses and zebras truly exist. Only unicorns exist. It is part of the government conspiracies. The government pays off Farmers, ranchers and the Amish to destroy the horn of the unicorn at birth. Most get turned into horses, but some go to special camps like Area 51 where they get their black stripes tatooed.

I'm just glad they leave the Pegasus alone.

geoff1000

@creedhands
I know there is a policy of cutting the horns off some rhinos, so they don't get killed by poachers for traditional medicines. Sounds like the unicorn conservationists do a more thorough job.

Perhaps we should put it out that the only aphrodisiac stronger than the horn of a rhino, is the testicles of a rhino poacher.

WKplatonic

Please provide me with as much information on a possible cuddling partner as possible, and I want my partner to have as much information about me. Do I want to cuddle someone with their kids around NO but it is good and helpful to know

@creedhands @geoff1000
Y’all are hilarious!! Cracking me up!!

@PeopleLikeUs
Is that the expectation, underlying expectation if I choose to pursue this? I don’t want to date anyone here and I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, hence my whole profile. But my heart goes out to people who need affection and attention.

@WKCuddles
I agree but not right off the bat. I would ask stuff like that afterwards, to have something to talk about during sessions.

sillysassy

@aplatonicfriend you are so smart to know your boundaries and what you want from Cuddling in general and this community specifically. In my opinion (as an enthusiast) Everyone who joins this movement has different goals for their lives in the short term and the long run. I find it very helpful to be honest with yourself and open with other people that you meet. The other thing I have found is there is a beauty in letting people do what is best for them and their needs. Of course sometimes that means that we are not a good fit for each other in the world of PCR. (kudos for the acronym for PLATONIC CUDDLING RELATIONSHIPS thank you @kennys2574)

What you are looking for might be different than someone else and that’s ok (as long as it fits within the site rules). When @Mark originally set this up as a community of likeminded people I feel like he was really hopeful to connect humans in the world of platonic touch. Who it attracts??? A PLETHORA of amazing humans with different thoughts and ideas and experiences to share.

Good job you for being so brave and courageous to try something as unique as this. 😊

@creedhands and @geoff1000 you guys are of course as silly as EVER!! 😂😂😂

PeopleLikeUs

@aplatonicfriend
"Is that the expectation, underlying expectation if I choose to pursue this? I don’t want to date anyone here..."

The notion of involvement has presented itself more than once. Like you, I have no intention of getting involved with a potential cuddle buddy. If I suspect someone is headed in that direction, I simply bow out.

littermate

I'm wondering if the bolded part is really true...
@Mark?

People are dating here and the moderators know it, **so they provide information that matters to those who are dating **while setting policies to the contrary.

Well, so much for the bold which doesn't seem to work -- the part between the **s.

PeopleLikeUs

@littermate I would never expect them to cop to that. Most social media sites have an air of possible involvement to them. Mark Zuckerberg has been very open about that fact with FB and most SM's are modeled after it. CC is no different.

geoff1000

Is "monogamous" platonic cuddling classed as dating ? I think a lot of people on this site are looking to "pair off", and if they don't do anything romantic or sexual, that would presumably be within the rules.

Is platonic defined as non-monogamous, so having found someone compatible, we must also meet up with other people ? That seems unreasonable. I would hope to be in an arrangement with someone, where our cuddling needs are mutually met.

littermate

@PeopleLikeUs it's just quite a claim to make so definitively. I'd like to hear what @Mark has to say about it.

Mark

@PeopleLikeUs

"People are dating here and the moderators know it, so they provide information that matters to those who are dating while setting policies to the contrary."

Please make it clearer in future when you're just speculating versus writing as fact.

Your comment isn't true at all. We regularly ban people who come here for dating purposes and have done so for the last several years. The last such ban was on 12 Feb.

For those interested, this is the default ban template in such cases:

"We believe you are here for romantic purposes. While we understand people wanting to use this website for that purpose, it does break our rules. We have therefore banned the account."

PeopleLikeUs

In my post I am pointing toward what appears to me to be a grey area policy at CC. The OP brought it up namely in the area of dating and children. Having or not having children is pertinent information, as I pointed out, for those of us who would not cuddle around children. It also provides people who are using CC to date with information that may or may not be used to help a member decide whether they would want to date someone or not. My first thought was that CC in providing that option to daters (Who I agree are not supposed to be here) may be inadvertent. But the OP is right. There is an option for “Doesn’t want children” and another for “Possibly in the future.”

Why would a member be considering future children with a potential cuddle partner? I may be missing something, but that sounds like solid dating lingo and it was put in place by CC.

Also, the fact that if this were any other kind of site, say tennis, or yoga etc., people would probably date. I would think (despite your very well thought out policy and policing) that if we were to assume that no one ever dates at CC, that may be a little naive.

So @mark, can you see how I might get the impression that CC is suggesting members who want to consider children “in the future” do this on a site, where we can assume that people are probably going to date under the radar, while stating clearly in your written policy that dating is forbidden? It looks to me like you are providing two opposing policies on the same site.

BoomerSpooner

Wow, when I first saw “Possibly in the future” I assumed it meant the person would consider having children sometime in the future with a person or a test tube. I never considered that they were looking to find someone on here and procreate. Seems to be stretching the boundaries of plausibility to advance one’s claim on this thread that the site is even encouraging or hinting at dating with that response.

Mark

I can understand that some things remind people of other things. The issue is deciding there is meaning to it and then declaring it as fact.

sillysassy

It is so incredibly interesting how everyone’s reaction to this varies based on their reality or past experiences.

I haven’t really been on dating sites and so my initial perception of that question led me to think “this person might not be a forever cuddler”. In fact they might change their mind about cuddling altogether. I also thought with all of the transparency and openness that @mark tries to create within the community that he was just giving people one more option to be forthwith about their intentions. He doesn’t create a subcategory choice of “yes please, right now, with a redhead preferably”

There have been many times through conversation and messaging people have changed their minds about dating. They have used this platform as a healing space to find touch and platonic intimacy and then decided to date. The INTENTION of this community is that it isn’t a “traditional dating website” and users shouldn’t treat is as such thus creating a safe space for people like @aplatonicfriend to speak up and say something about it. In exactly the same manner he didn’t have the intention of creating a community where people would connect with others only to take advantage of a potential cuddler to steal their wallet during a session but it happens. Our responsibility as a participant is to know ourselves and our wishes and be honest enough with others to have clarity through communication.

When someone says to me after a few cuddles, “I thought I would enjoy being single and exploring this idea of platonic cuddling but I find that I really miss a one on one relationship” I say THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY and tell them they will have to look elsewhere for that. It doesn’t necessarily mean they were deviants.... it just means they changed their mind.