I think one has to be realistic, as the site says cuddle ONLY!!! I wonder how many here have cuddled with someone and it ended up being a lot more, even maybe leading to getting married-?. One never knows in advance how you will meet your LOVE in your life. I meet my 1st. wife working construction running a machine that broke an under ground water pipe, went to the door to tell the home owner that the water pipe was broken, long story, 1 yr. later we were married. So, for me, if I was a lot younger and single and I never wanted kids or dogs, so those 2 questions would mean a lot to me, not that I would be looking for a long time relationship, but there would be a chance that it could happen. Also, when I see, have children checked and they are past 40-45, then I assume they are not still living at home. I sure would not cuddle with anyone with kids running around the house. And for the dog thing, about the same, I will not cuddle with a dog in between us, LOL. Another thing I learned after living in Fl for almost 40 yrs., I assume about anywhere today, do NOT leave any meds in your bathroom or where any guests in your home may find them, I won't go into the details how I know that !!!, Be safe everyone and thanks for all your comments. I kind of new, so I enjoy reading all the posts.
Yes, it's about intent. It's reasonable to assume that some people have dated via this website. That is within the rules assuming it comes about organically. But when we see people have joined for the purpose of dating, we ban those accounts.
@sillysassy “yes please, right now, with a redhead preferably” I phoned a friend of mine one evening, and chatted about how things were. When he told me that he and his wife were trying for a baby, I apologised for interrupting and said I would ring back later.
I also thought "possibly in the future" was weird for a non-dating site and I'd vote to remove it. @Mark I just felt uncomfortable with the statement as a fact, especially with new people learning from the forum.
The only time I could find it useful Is if someone has to be cognizant that folks have responsibilities as such like children at home. They may not have the children around when cuddling but for scheduling purposes, it may come up as a priority
@Mark , thanks Mark, I was hoping I would not get banned for that post.
I agree with @KatLittle I myself wanted to know if they would be there. When some people mention having kids, they usually make sure they aren’t around for the session.
In an attempt to deconstruct my statement at @Mark's request, I want to ask the moderators at CC this question.
What was or is your intention by giving members the option to answer “Children: Doesn’t want children” and “Children: Possibly in the future”?
This issue comes up repeatedly on the forum. If I understood CC’s reasoning, I would feel better equipped to come in behind CC policy during forum discussions. At the moment, CC's written policy and settings regarding children appear to be a dichotomy on dating policy.
Me too @PeopleLikeUs, thank you.
I think you might be overthinking this. There wasn't a careful brainstorm behind each profile field when this website launched. So I'm not really able to offer you anything there.
The general principle was to make it easy to display important aspects of your life and personality. Each person will find value in knowing different things about someone. Someone's ethnicity might be irrelevant to you, and certainly doesn't seem to be related to cuddling, but it could be legitimately important to someone else for reasons such as cultural familiarity.
Some people find value in knowing if there might be children about. Some people value knowing if you like or dislike children because they themselves might have them running around. You could argue that choosing the option "possibly in the future" has the indirect benefit of indicating that your lack of children isn't a result of disliking them.
I don't have a strong view on whether the children question is worthwhile or not. I'm happy for you and everyone to debate each field's usefulness and I will be receptive to any persuasive arguments for a field to be removed or added. This reply probably won't change your inclination to believe we have a hidden agenda to promote online dating but that's ok.
@mark Thank you. The mountains out of mole hills gets tiresome. Personally, I just want to know if they have children or not. It is just a conversation starter as you pointed out.
I think that a person's "child" status indicates where they are on the human route map, and that might be important to some people. Some people are keen to know the star sign of someone they are with, others don't care.
I will keep repeating that once we allow gender as a choice, then we are acknowledging that platonic cuddling is more than just being in physical contact with a warm human body.
@Mark
What you describe as overthinking is actually in my case, normal for a man raised and steeped in female culture and my thought process is good at deflecting ghost lights. Same with that hidden agenda ghost light.
I do appreciate your willingness to respond at length and your consideration of removing a field. Clearly I am not going to get an answer to my last question because I don’t think you have one you can give without venturing into dating territory.
This is a male-dominated site. I have a feeling that is also true for moderators only because I’ve never heard from a female moderator in the CC forum. Another argument to consider might be men asking women what they intend to do with their bodies. I honestly don’t believe there is anything underhanded or intentionally patriarchal about any of this. Just a bunch of guys failing to, as you said, “carefully brainstorm” the fields, looking at the one on Children and seeing it as totally normal.
I don't think there's a hidden agenda regarding dating, but I do think that someone new to the site creating a profile and seeing the option to tell people if they plan to have children does lead one to believe that it might have something to do with dating. I can see wanting to know if there are kids in the house, wanting to know if you are hanging with another parent, but wanting to know if someday someone will want to have kids? Hmmm. When I signed up, I read those options and thought, "Oh, maybe this was originally being designed as a dating site and someone changed their mind." With all the murky lines around what this site is about, that particular selection seems to add to the murk.
I err on the side of who cares
@pmvines !!!!!!!!!Summed up succinctly!!!!
Personally, I strongly dislike children, and I find it hard to respect a person who has—or who plans to have—children.
For me, it’s decent information to have about an individual’s ideals and so on, to gauge whether or not we’d get along well.
The same applies to matters of faith.
It's subjecting women to unrelated womb analysis.
I honestly can't imagine why everyone is spending so much time on that profile question about children. I suggest more cuddling and less nitpicking
They are optional fields blank by default.
The field is no more subjecting anyone to womb analysis as the Car field is subjecting people to wallet analysis.
@soloforever 👍
If someone were so inclined, they could buy a scrap car for $50, just to tick the box.
@Mark that was a joke.
That's a relief.
I was reading an online article about how the child-question on a job interview application was messing with legality. When I saw those two words together "womb analysis" I laughed, sort of like the idea of people arriving at a date "organically"... I like my dates GMO and pesticide-free. I like words.