I was no showed for the second time today. What makes no sense is they confirmed via chat they were coming, TEXTED they were coming, and then POOF.
I left bad karma and they deleted their account. What in the world?
I know it sucks.
Maybe they were run over by a van of drunk Guatemalans on the way?
@BigGuyGa And yet had the physical capability to delete their account? How very specific. Were you in the van?
I can neither confirm nor deny there even was a van.
Aww. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Sorry to hear that happen to you as well. There are still alot of nice people on this site. Just have to weed thru the bad ones. Good luck and Happy Cuddleing!
There was no van. I saw them flying down the freeway sitting on just seats.
This sucks. Hugs to your heart
The difficulty with the site, is that : the anonymity of setting up an account, makes it easy for someone who is banned or self-deleted to set up a new account.
People have criminal records ( or lack of them ) and credit records ; but in the world of casual meeting, one can easily leave one's history behind.
The only way that I think works, is for the first meeting to be very non-physical, so there is: 1) Less chance of one party changing their mind, because turning up doesn't mean they are pressured to do anything 2) Less hurt by the let-down party if the meeting doesn't happen, because nothing physical was going to happen.
I'm thinking of a parallel with starting a new job with an interview. If the interview doesn't happen, the candidate is less let-down than if they arrive on day 1 to find no workplace. If the candidate doesn't show up for interview, the business isn't missing an employee for that day of work.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! The lack of respect to even follow up with why they didn’t show up is really concerning. Especially with them just deleting their profile after legitimate karma about them was left.
I'm curious whether this was a pro or enthusiast?
In my experience the average level of flakiness among pros is off the charts. No-shows, last minute cancellations, weird scheduling difficulties are rampant. One part that annoys me is the lack of apologies (assuming they do continue communication). I don't except them to grovel or anything, but it just seems like they have a complete lack of concern for others.
Maybe there should be a 3 strikes you're out thing around ghosting.
It was an enthusiast
@mb0 Do you find enthusiasts are better or worse, or are your expectations of pros higher ? I've been thinking that a pro would be a reliable safe bet, but maybe I'm deluding myself.
@grumpy_cat - Meet enthusiasts at a neutral place, like a coffee shop. If they're a no show, you can still get a chai or coffee while the hintless waste of carbon figures out adulting... on their own time.
Enthusiasts flake quite often....or they just decide you're not worth cuddling somewhere along the line and that's it....if you are in need of cuddling just go find a pro....yes the money part of it isn't ideal but its so much better than doing without
@soloforever wish that were true, last pro flaked and blocked me
@geoff1000 I’ve never cuddled an enthusiast and i don’t have enough experience communicating with enthusiasts to compare.
Reliable pros definitely exist, and it’s by far easier to cuddle a pro than an enthusiast. Despite my earlier claim that “the average level of flakiness of pros is off the charts,” it’s really only a minority who pull the really annoying stuff like no-shows. If you message a pro who seems like a reasonable person, you’ve got a decent chance of having a good experience.
I have never had a pro no-show on me, although I had one where we had our wires crossed on date and time that was easily understandable. But enthusiasts are a different story. I have cuddled quite a few enthusiasts and the types run the spectrum from the truly great to recent graduates of the Space Case Academy. Some will put you on cloud nine while others ghost. You could say it is like the general public in general—unpredictable. Just chat them up before agreeing to a session and your troubles will be fewer, but there are no guarantees whatsoever.
@Sideon "hintless waste of carbon figures out adulting"
@FunCartel "recent graduates of the Space Case Academy" Omgosh!!! So so so sad!!! @littermate we have GOT to get the word out and get a few fellow lovers of the cuddle to be around so these poor humans can realize the amazing and beautiful in the enthusiast!!!
I've had plenty of people "flake" on me as well. I definitely feel like because this idea of cuddling is "new", there are a lot of people who are still a little hesitant. When they don't have any karma and haven't had any experiences I wonder sometimes if they're just a little nervous and scared which makes them flake out. I agree with these two men though "Chat them up online before agreeing and do something that you would do for yourself anyway for the first meeting" If they don't show you get to show some self love. Like a CHAI!!!!
Sorry to hear you got ghosted. Hopefully your luck will change.
Agreed @sillysassy.
I think this is more reflective of the current state of our culture than it is anything specific to CC. I have had this same issue with people flaking and ghosting on another platform as well. With the ubiquitousness of the internet and people interacting anonymously rather than being forced to get to know each other face to face, it has devalued real connection and interpersonal responsibility. It has become too easy for people to discard their interactions with others like so many deleted files. Being a true lover of people and one who savors human interaction, It's really quite disturbing and sad to me to watch this depersonalization. People are drifting further and further apart from each other socially, while blissfully ignorant under the influence of the artificial and superficial community of social media. People feel less than when reading friends' profiles and seeing how amazing everything is going in their lives, not realizing that most people are leaving out the painful, uncomfortable and sad stuff--the real stuff that makes the human experience so rich and truly brings people together in the first place. Vulnerability can breed intimacy, but so many are afraid to show their vulnerability these days.
@Earlybird I do not buy the whole current state of our culture. I think people flaking on other people is more noticeable because of the internet and it’s immediacy. But the internet has also given a voice and a place for those who would be shunned “back in the day.” Moreover, would there even be a cuddle community without the internet and social media? Probably not on the scale it is now because the internet connected people to it. I think technology is an easy scapegoat for all ills of modern society forgetting that technology is an object without an agenda. A computer and the internet do not have meaning or an agenda unless a person gives it such. People are a queer bunch and always have been, and people have always used the latest popular talisman to scapegoat whatever issues people have created for themselves. Today it’s the internet, and not so long ago it was the danged rock and roll music, or the hip hop lyrics, or insert whatever new boogie man you wish to substitute. The problem with ghosting is not technology or social media...it is people. Always has been.
To rewrite the quote "Social media networks don't ghost and flake people, people do".
@geoff1000 The quote did not need to be rewritten as the quote said “The problem is....” and ended with people. So the problem is people.
@FunCartel Overpopulation is certainly caused by people. Most diseases are caught from other people.
Henry Ford once complained “Why is it every time I ask for a pair of hands [ for the assembly line] , they come with a brain attached ?"
SMH...not in a good way either.
I had a guy on here build up a wonderful friendship, managed to cut through all my trust issues and I thought we had an amazing (platonic) connection. after six months completely ghosted me. It went from “I’m really looking forward to seeing you next week” to complete blank. I know he’s ok as he’s still posting on fb etc.. really messed with my head and sense of reality...
Maybe along with reviews... if you had something booked on the site... you should be able to mark We’re they on time? Did they no show?
It would then show up on their profile... on time and no show percentage...
Whoa 😯 I’m an enthusiast and if I’m talking about meeting you with a date and time it’s so happening. Love this stuff! Your need for platonic touch is also what I crave so I’m not flaking.
If you are worried about flakes I heard of some vetting by reaching out to the people they cuddled in their karma and friends. Sounds like a lot of work but you could try.
Also tell them you need a same day confirmation by whatever time you say or their canceled due to a ridiculous amount of flakiness from OTHER cuddlers😉