I’d like to read some descriptions of a few enthusiast recent virtual cuddle experiences. It can be from a pro or another enthusiast, but I’d like to better understand the logistics of it.
I’m trying to understand what you expect this to look like. Especially if it’s someone you just met, what’s the appeal.
This reminds me of high school when I’d meet a girl and we’d talk until we fell asleep on the phone. I’m just having a hard time imagining this more than a phone call when it’s platonic. Trying to make it intimate platonically seems impossible.
I feel you on how impossible "cyber-cuddling" seems. However, being a "Words of Affirmation" person, myself, I can kind of see how it would work.
Platonic cuddling, for me, is the ultimate. My entire existence doesn't depend on you--- it's just that EVERYTHING SEEMS BETTER when I'm being cuddled and contacted by someone who genuinely enjoys me as a decent, viable, living human being. That being said, I have to also say that there's more to me than my skin...
There is my mind. I enjoy deep, lengthy conversations, debates, and being taught new things or perspectives. Is there such a thing as mental intimacy???
I like to make others giggle. Humor has a way of tearing down divisions, of making us see that there are far more similarities than differences between us than we've been taught to believe. Is it possible that physical touch is merely a reflection of something much deeper?
I've had people on this site write me some of the most pleasant, uplifting, encouraging notes that I've ever received. Indeed, I feel as though I've FINALLY found my own Tribe! While I would, frankly, prefer to be physically clasped in a pleasant, good-natured, tender man or woman's arms, I can sort of see how being mentally stimulated by a witty, intelligent, charismatic person would tide me over until I could get to a good cuddle!
I "virtual cuddled ' a forum member a couple of times this week and it's been really nice . Yes it's not the same as in person. However we have to be creative and find other ways to connect and this is a good alternative . It's not touching but you do feel a genuine connection with the right person / people , and affirming each other and using your imagination can go a long way.
@ImajenMoon good explanation @pmvines as well. I guess my thoughts are how could i feel a genuine connection when i know so little about the other person. My first cuddle section, and only session, was with a young lady that was very engaging through text and in conversation before we cuddled. That’s what made me more easy about doing it.
I don’t know if it’s easy for me to make friends and open up and that may be why i have such hesitation.
I hope to hear more examples
@BashfulLoner in my case it's someone I have conversed with on here for a while , and we had been texting and spoke on phone .
I've seen a lot of confusion about the terminology. It might help some to think of it as a Virtual Relaxation Session, or a Virtual Support Session. Obviously, there is no physical contact going on, but that doesn't limit the amount of emotional support and physical relaxation that can take place. In my humble opinion, I think as we all continue into social isolation, it will become more needed by more people. Hope that clarifies a little bit!
You know this will start a “What do I do about a virtual boner” thread.
@inparadise exactly! Rather meditative in a way
@FunCartel if someone doesn’t know what to do about that maybe they should find other sites. Onlyfans.com maybe
For me, a virtual cuddle would only possibly work with an audio and a video connection otherwise it would just be a telephone call. And it would only work with someone I had already built up a relationship with. It wouldn't work with a complete stranger.
I agree that it helps to be someone you know, so that your brain can flesh out the skeleton of the communication.
Catholics believe in Transubstantiation, in which the wafer and wine of Mass, become the body and blood of Christ. An adept of virtual cuddling can believe that their pillow, has become the body of their partner.
I did this for a while, and it was genuinely platonic on my part, somehow the experience made non-platonic behaviour ( even though it would have been invisible over text ) seem inappropriate.
What really hit me, was that I would make her a virtual coffee when she "arrived" and I bought a real bag of sugar, even though I don't use it ; the unreality spilling over into reality.
The key issue of any "relationship", is the feeling that the other person is engaged, and the amount of engagement can be negligible, but still effective. Before telephones, people would write to each other, and the reader could imagine the writer saying the words, as they sometimes do in movies.
Letters, to text message, to voice calling, to video calling, to a face-to-face meeting, to actual physical contact ; are just a progression along a path.
We sometimes just have to make the most of what we have.
I can't remember the name of the movie, but a character records his will on film, and the reading of the will is done at dinner, with a screen set up at one end of the table, and the film is projected onto it. As the dinner progresses, the character's maid occasionally walks behind the screen, then appears on it, serving the meal to the dead character. Our minds are easily fooled, if we choose to let them be, it doesn't need The Matrix.
Virtual cuddles can be done via a video call or even email. It's about the mindset you take to the kind of connection you want to make with someone.
The connection here is very different from being able to physically touch someone. But you can still feel their presence depending how you both choose to communicate.
When you video call someone it's like sitting in a room around a table facing them. You can hear and see them you just can't touch them. It's a very different dynamic but a connection all the same.
Even though an email is text it can also create an intimate connection on an emotional level. Again depending on how one uses words to communicate.
So it is important to be aware of the kind of connection you want to make. And be mindful of how you communicate your thoughts and intentions. Virtual cuddling or social closening is a thing. And it has the potential to build great cuddle experiences with someone. That is if used right.
I haven't tried a virtual cuddle yet, but I have had a similar experience. I've been walking and running with a friend who has been recovering from an injury. We don't touch, no hand holding, no hugging, or anything, we just walk/run side by side and talk about random stuff. A few miles running with her is almost as good as a cuddle. i certainly feel more relaxed and connected when we finish.
I would only do virtual with an enthusiast. It's not something I'd pay for. I'd feel like I was being taken advantage of if I was so isolated and lonely I had to pay for this. This is my feeling only as it relates to me. I'm not judging others who feel differently about it.
People have complained about sessions where their partner was physically close, but emotionally elsewhere. A good virtual cuddle is when the partner is emotionally close, but physically elsewhere.
Anyone who is scared / amused or otherwise emotionally engaged, by some illuminated pixels on a screen, or blobs of ink on a piece of paper ; should be able to mentally "fill in the blanks" for a virtual session.
Perhaps some of us have just had more practice.
In my experience, during this whole pandemic crisis at least, the vast majority of my clients have been seeking emotional support and ways to help with anxiety. Like @inparadise mentioned, I've been referring to them as virtual support sessions as well. I've been doing phone calls/video chats during those times and for them I believe it's the sense of having someone there where they can feel that comfort and relaxation. I can see how some people obviously enjoy the physical touch of an actual cuddle session, which is great, but we have to do our best to avoid from spreading this virus any further. It probably helps that I've known most of my clients for years and have established connections with them so it makes it easier for them to trust me because they know I wouldn't be wasting their time. It's definitely been keeping me pretty busy though which is always a good thing because I do enjoy helping others.
I believe virtual cuddle would only work if you already have a physical cuddle with one another and had establish a good rapport with each other,
The key with virtual cuddles is emotional engagement. The will to pay close attention, to listen, to acknowledge. It's a lost art. Sadly.
For those that do have it are insatiable narcissists and omniscient self appointed gurus.
That's a soft skill most individuals do not have. Many do not seek to have.
With the right like minded person who you make the time to build a rapport with yes it can be a fun and interactive experience.
We don't care enough to bother. We just don't .
The only 2 valid objections to false advertising are : protected definitions ; and fake product.
I can't call something Champagne, unless it was made in that region of France ; or just put water in the bottle. Providing the customer knows what they are getting from a virtual cuddle, I don't see the problem.
I think first it's important to understand that there are different ways of virtual cuddling, hugging, etc., and each person has their own style(s) that suit them.
Moreover, it depends on the individual(s) and how they experience such connections. For some it does little to nothing for them, they've to be in person. Or it's just not their cup of tea. For others, it can mean quite a bit for them.
I think one of the easiest to explain, that might help you get a bit of an idea of virtual cuddling, etc., is ASMR cuddle videos: depending on the quality of it and whether or not you experience tingles. They can help get one into a relaxed state, some/many contain positive affirmations, asking about your day, etc., and cuddling.. is mainly in spoken form: although one can also see an act of it, such as pretending to hold one in ones arms and or caress their head. Which all helps to make it seem more real, and it's unlike just randomly calling a friend and having a non cuddle related conversation/interactions. When this route is chosen, it also doesn't carry the same fear of judgement, and or uncertainty: that doing it in real time with a stranger might.
If one closes one's eyes to rest, it can feel almost as though they actually have someone caring, understanding, who is willing to more or less fulfill their needs nonphysically: right next to them. Then there are the occasional unpredictable tingles that can be a bit of a substitute for experiencing actual touch from someone else.
Something that can be a con of ASMR videos is that realistically, the conversations are one sided. Though one might be able to: if they happen to have an asmrist who is willing to give them an enhanced virtual cuddle experience: by doing a live video call session.
Avatars, emojis, etc.:
Whereas just using avatars, emojis, etc., don't have all of the previously mentioned benefits: unless maybe somehow they can be combined, which as far as I know would be tough to do: with a decent quality, anyway. Though they can be more convenient, unpredictable, and engaging: like randomly sending a hug emoji to someone, and having an engaging conversation. Whereas generally, watching ASMR cuddle videos does not allow one to respond back in real time.
It's possible to make it intimate platonically, because mentally and or emotionally speaking: it can share some/a lot of the same characteristics found in the in person experience: Trust, care, willingness to engage in said activities - even if just virtually, understanding, acceptance, etc.
People who ask others to send images / video of themselves, in states of undress or doing non-platonic activities ; clearly gain something from it. Back in my day, people would ask others to say things over the phone ; and there was a large market for 1:1 phone chat.
If such non-contact activity is emotionally rewarding to the recipient, because it allows them to imagine the physical presence of the other ; it seems completely reasonable, that any other activity could be mimicked from a distance, with varying degrees of success.
Most of my company that is still working, is doing so from home ; and in dial-in meetings, we can tell from the background noise, which ones are less emotionally engaged. However, that was probably true also of text chat, e-mail conversation, or even letter-writing ; one gets a feeling about if the other person is emotionally investing.
It is rather like acting. Method Acting is so effective ; because the audience knows that the actor is actually enduring the emotional effort, of the emotion they are portraying. The actor Christian Bale is noted for complaining at people spoiling his scene, much like the showjumper Harvey Smith giving the V-sign after having to repeat a round because the stop-clock had broken.
Perhaps I could ask this, of those who think virtual cuddling is a ridiculous concept.
If you are a man who would not cuddle men, would you be willing to voice- / video-chat with a man, describing and simulating the act of cuddling with them ? I expect not, because you could not manage the negative emotional effect ; demonstrating that the recipient gains a positive emotional effect, and hence it is valuable to have a female doing it.
I had a great time doing a virtual cuddle session! We played games like “would you rather?”, “this or that”, and rock paper scissors. We discussed movies we liked and gave each other recommendations. We shared a snack together, so neither of us had to eat alone. He expressed a lot of his concerns and anxieties to me about the pandemic time and I did my best to uplifting and offer emotional support while admitting I’m pretty freaked by it too. Still it’s always good to have a friend to vent to / lean on so you’re not keeping it all
bottled up. Then to lighten the mood, we had a dance party! Which was super fun, I think my favorite things about doing “virtual cuddling” (semantics) besides the word games, charades, and joke telling will be the physical activities like dance parties, yoga, and exercising. It gets blood flowing, endorphins pumping, keeps you accountable to actually do something physical and fun that day because you have a partner, and best of all it’s just silly and fun and a great way to connect in the midst of all this. As I’ve mentioned on other threads, I’m also looking forward to painting, reading, and drawing with people interested in that. Anything therapeutic really and that you would do with a new friend to break the ice but now cannot because of safety precautions. I am too much of a social butterfly to cut off social contact during this time, and I know isolation has been hard for everyone, not just me. However, I also have immunocompromised people in my family and I just can’t risk contributing to the spread of the virus, so virtual cuddling and meeting it’ll be for now. 😊
Thats amazing im so glad you had a good experience. I always wondered how the virtual cuddling would work and this is a perfect explanation. Peace, love, light, and cuddles too you 😁 @Chase22
I'd love to give virtual cuddling a try! If someone has time and the inclination feel free to let me know!
I just had my 1st. video chat, it was nice, we just talked about anything for an hour, the time went by very fast, way better then just a phone call. It was someone that I had cuddled with several times, so we kind of knew each other already.
I think with this lock down, it would be a good way to get to know a person a little and would make it easier to meet up for a cuddle after all this mess is behind us. I know, for myself I will not meet up until it's over.
I haven't virtual cuddled yet but if I did, I think I would go for a psychologist. When someone brings another talent into the picture like massage into a physical cuddle, it piques my curiosity. Whether for pay or non-pay exchange, the fees at CC for pro-cuddles rival what professional psychotherapists or really good massage therapists get paid. A good psych can really massage your brain.
Being an energetic being I receive and give energy without touch. Even though it isnt the same. It is soothing..very intimate and connecting.
I love to eye gaze..or breathe in rhythm with another. I love to hear or share that my cuddle partner is holding me or wanting me to hold them and breathing together..hearing they are stroking my hair relaxes me. Has stress release..my chest breathes deeper.
My ex and I used to do this a lot when at a distance...even once we were ex's ...as friends...just the presence of him.
Recently I eye gazed with a friend over zoom and it filled me up.
I've been putting it out their recently to do virtual cuddling and non sexual pillow talk. I've had 2 experiences recently 1 of them my friend and another was a stranger..they caressed me virtually and it felt amazing.
I left those calls feeling vibrant and alive..filled up and connected.