When will you be ready ?

hugonehugall

We assume things will get back to normal at some point. But what about you personally ? When will you be ready go back to your normal life of being around people & large crowds and of course cuddle again ?

A. Once restrictions are lifted nationwide.
B. Only after a vaccine is tested , approved , and ready for distribution ( keeping in mind this could be 12-15 months from now )
C. I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable around people or able to cuddle again regardless of lifted restrictions or a vaccine.

Sheena123

As soon as Canada says we’re in the clear, I might wait a tiny bit but when I do decide to go out to restaurants and karaoke I’ll still try to keep my distance. Maybe even bring wipes for the microphone.

For cuddling, I’ll have to play that by ear. I have a full time job here in Canada so it’s not detrimental that I start doing it but I certainly don’t want to be responsible for carrying it to a cuddler if it’s still prevalent.

inparadise

Good question @hugonehugall, I'll go with D) I have no clue! Probably leaning more towards the direction of A though. I think @Sheena123 has the right idea. Once the government gives the go-ahead, I'll probably give it a buffer time before I return back to 100% normal.

It's almost too early to tell. I certainly don't want to put anyone at risk, and I will also continue to do my best to just keep living my life.

pmvines

When the government tells me that it is ok to hug again. Because I trust them oh so much

geoff1000

Governments are generally reluctant to impose restrictions on citizens ; so when they say something is no longer banned, I won't take that to mean it has become safe.

UKGuy

My life hasn't changed much other than I now work at home four days a week instead of three. And I have to think twice when I should do my food shopping. As an introvert, I never was a social butterfly so that aspect of my life hasn't changed at all. Things will move toward normal when my state governor rescinds his 'work at home' mandate. I don't expect that to be until the end of May at least. However, being in a high-risk group I'll probably continue to take extra precautions long after that.

Dante_S

I think when things feel 'normal' again... (I know, more than likely it will be a 'new normal', but when THAT feels normal

Right now, when I walk into the grocery store, or Wal-Mart, I just get anxious.

The "Please remember social distancing! Minimum 2 meters between people!" signs every... 4 meters... in EVERY isle...
The Stores now have the large plastic barriers for the cashiers...
The one grocery store I go to, now has "one way isles". (So one will be front to back, the next, back to front... to minimize people crossing each other...)

It'll definitely be a bit. For sure.

I don't know how it'll be for restrictions. They may loosen up, once the curve is flattering. Of, ok... you can go out... But you need to be wearing a mask, still maintain your 2 m, and no large group events. It'll be quite a long time until we get a Vaccine... (Hazmat cuddle suit?)

(I'll be honest though, with Physical Touch being my primary love language, I'm itching for some cuddles

BoomerSpooner

@pmvines What do you mean you do not trust the government. About time we had a President that knew more than the medical experts.

That was sarcasm for those that are easily triggered.

snuggleme123

I have been running normal the whole time. I feel for them in the hot spots.

BigGuyGa

Last Tuesday at 6:43 pm.

BoomerSpooner

@BigGuyGa is there any significance behind that day and time?

adorable48

As soon as this is over, but I’m really down on humans right now, so I’m not even sure I’ll want to. Trying hard to resist the notion that people are just big ol insincere jerks in this category , ( well unless you’re paying them )

MrPaul

Thirty days after the number of new cases in my home state reaches zero for thirty consecutive days.

I don't know if I'll ever be ready to cuddle again ever. And my sentiments have nothing to do with COVID 19.

It has much to do with the insights the shelter in place restrictions have given me in how human beings think and act including myself. We really don't care about connecting with each other. For many of us cuddling is only or mostly physical. And without the physical component many are lost.

Hence with COVID-19 restrictions messaging becomes one of our major means of connecting in a virtual cuddle of sorts. But it's also a very tedious exercise in landing the right words and phrases that lets others in our mental space and us into theirs. That can be a huge challenge when minds are tired and overwhelmed by one situation or the other. Sometimes it's just near impossible with different personalities and mental and spiritual chemistry .

So having said this I think I'm better off staying away from cuddling permanently even after COVID-19. It may better suit my interest to just shutdown social cuddling connections altogether. I may just focus on myself more and throw myself whole heartedly into full time community volunteering. Especially at this challenging time. It's far better for my mind. And I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone.

Cuddle connecting as a process and and a unique experience should not be as traumatizing as it can be if done right. "Done right " is conditional to the right person, the situation, so many right variables. Sometimes the costs to one's spirit, mental and emotional health is just not worth the other benefits.

When you give from the depths of your soul without expectations or excuses it can be excruciatingly harrowing to have to constantly internalize the idea of not being human enough to sustain or maintain a real continuous conversation. To be viewed as a thing to be talked at, judged, disposed of for being authentically you.

geoff1000

@Bles
A trick I've been using for email, and forum posts ; is to read my final draft, and deliberately try to interpret it in a bad / wrong way. If that's possible, I reword it.

As you say, that can be a lot of effort.

@geoff1000 ~ great idea! It's really, really easy for things to be taken "wrong" when all you've got to go on is the printed text of a message.
@Bles~ I feel you. When it's all said and done, the only one we ever really have is ourselves. I doubt that we'll ever get back to waving at people from our porches (like in the South), but I would like to think that most of us, after spending so much time unplugged, remember what it's like to be cordial and pleasant to one another, again. I hope, if nothing else, you continue to post here. I like--and learn a lot from---reading your stuff!
Imajen

BigGuyGa

@FunCartel No.

BoomerSpooner

@BigGuyGa Good. You had me worried for a bit based off your other thread.

@ImajenMoon thanks for your kind words.

I will continue to post as the spirit moves me and the mind is stimulated by whatever interesting or fascinating content it encounters in these threads.

I just don't think messaging is for me. I've ridden it out and given myself permission over and over again to be traumatized by the idea and concept that I'm not human enough to have an engaging conversation with. I'm not human enough to be talked to rather than at. I'm not human enough to be called by my given name. I'm not human enough to be or have my thoughts acknowledged. I'm not human enough to be treated as another thinking yet feeling being . I'm just not human enough.

To make matters worse the lag time between messages now on any platform or media is ridiculously slow. That significantly hurts the flow of conversation.

@geoff1000 thanks for your advice.

I have consistently edited and revised my posts and messages. I have even deleted whole conversations because I didn't think it expressed accurately what I wanted to say. Or I thought it would create more misunderstanding than insight.

When it comes to messaging I have done the same.

It comes down to a combination of the right kind of variables to keep a conversation going and hopefully make a successful connection.

Right now I'm just really tired of having to always explain my life, defend my own thoughts and internalize values that are the complete opposite of what has made me a survivor in the real world for so long. To have to literally dehumanize my mind and spirit to accommodate others has been very hard on my mind and spirit. To be so accommodating and flexible to others needs and schedules only to be talked at and preached down to and judged and disposed of is a challenging adjustment. I'm just tired and hurt. That's all.

DonLonG

I have mixed feelings on when I'll be ready again, as I was not entirely ready before all this started. I have a great primal hunger for intimacy, but an even greater fear of it at the same time. It took 8 years to break out of my shell of isolation and let someone touch me last year. It helped quiet the need of touch for a while, but did nothing to reduce the fear.

As the emotional starvation starts compounding again, I set goals to overcome the roadblocks that I blame for not "being ready" that I hoped would satiate this illogical dread. Maybe if I could accomplish some of these I would gain the confidence I need to put myself out there:

• Lose weight - [Lost 20 lbs.]
• There are no enthusiasts in my area that want to talk to me, going to need money for pro's - [Got a second job and saved up enough to afford pro services.]
• Still hate my body, need to get in shape - [Went to gym and swimming every day, gained back 10 lbs in muscle]
• Still too fat - [Lost 20 more lbs.]
• An hour or two with a pro isn't enough time, need to save up for longer sessions - [Worked 7 days a week since Thanksgiving and can now afford frequent overnight sessions.]

As long as there was a semi-plausible explanation, my mind could deal with it. However, I started to panic when I realized my endless cycle of excuses was coming to an end, and I had finally run out of valid new reasons last month. I was as prepared as I possibly could be, and yet still terrified by this unexplainable paralyzing fear.

I know this pandemic is horrible and I'm with everyone else in hoping there is a quick end to it. The silver lining for me is that it is an actual valid reason to not meet new people and cuddle right now, and that has temporarily eased my mind. As long as something beyond my control is keeping me from intimacy, I can accept that. But what happens when this is over and I have no more excuses? Will I ever be ready?

@DonLonG that's quite an impressive and interesting engagement with your mind. Keep up the valiant effort in reducing and eventually eliminating your need or desire to make excuses for intimacy. I enjoyed reading.

I can see how much it means to you to mind and manage your mind and the many exceptions it creates as barriers for not doing something you want or need to. And it's very inspiring to see that from your own accounts you're handling it to the best of your will and ability.

Thank you for sharing that. Know that it doesn't matter that you feel ready or not. Your mind will make more excuses for you to manage. But the great silver lining here is the insight you now have in what to do about it and the likely or possible results you will get. Much respect to you for that

PeopleLikeUs

Once antibody tests become available.

Here in CA, now that antibody tests are being used, reports of CV-2 having started here in November are starting to appear. The death rate is also more like 1 to .5%. For every confirmed case there are about 5 to 10 unconfirmed.

I will be ready especially if I test positive for the antibody or enough other people do. I am also anxious to know approximately how many people are immune to it. This will all come out at some point.

geoff1000

I think that the current tests are so unreliable, compared to the prevalence of infected people in the general population, that they aren't much help. If a person is only 1% likely to have the illness, a test which is 99 % reliable, saying they are clear, doesn't increase our knowledge. It is like a baby-gender test being 50 % accurate.

If I'm going to rely on a test, to tell me I might be safe from an illness which has no cure, I'd want it to be very accurate.

The parallel improvement for me, is for the incidence to have become so low that : the odds of a random person having it, has become very low ; and the health service is able to give me the best possible care, because its capacity isn't stretched.

It would be like driving an unreliable car ; OK in the city with taxis and breakdown recovery, not OK in the wilderness.

ubergigglefritz

1. Antibody tests being available would be good; especially if I test positive, ha.
2. Increased knowledge about the virus and best treatments; they still aren't treating it very well. Most who go on a ventilator don't come off.
3. Other prevention strategies like using phone GPS or Bluetooth to track possible past exposures when someone is diagnosed. But in America, IF that happened it would be voluntary, which would make it much less impactful (I read an article about this being used in other countries with great success in case reduction).

@Bles you're initial comment made me a little sad. I'm sorry you have been experiencing negative interactions with people in this time. 😞

@DonLonG I LOVE the introspection work. You are awesome. Keep working it and challenging yourself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 😊

WKplatonic

I went through school with friends with weak immune systems and we were losing friends all the time. but we sure didn't let it stop us from living and enjoying life as best we can. There is most definitely life on the other side, No more pain or sorrow.

This life is far from fair. Do you want life to defeat you or do you want to defeat life?

pmvines

@WKCuddles life will indeed defeat you if you are at risk and get the corona virus before more is known about it . There is a big difference between "living life " during a pandemic and "living life " without a pandemic . Corona cares not about your bravery .

BoomerSpooner

@pmvines Maybe it should be named the Custer Virus as bravery only leads to mass casualties.

pmvines

@FunCartel I can't help but wonder how this has impacted the sale of corona beer

BoomerSpooner

The snopes website says that is untrue about Corona sales dropping. You can take that for whatever it’s worth.

WKplatonic

@pmvines, I did not say, Corona cares about my bravery. If you going to take my words out of context then I suggest you have your attorney contact me. I have every right to state my opinion just like anyone else. Aren't we all adults here? Can we just stop it with all of the childish bullyings, trolling, sarcasm and nonsense, especially while so many people are struggling and fighting for their lives? My life experiences are different than most. Please Ignore what you don't understand.

I bet I know more about being isolated and about dying and death than most of you put together. We say that we want diversity but we don't want diversity. Make up your mind people.

@pmvines, when was the last time that you have seen a war movie? Maybe it is time for you to pop some popcorn and sit back and take one in.

Let freedom reign, Let freedom reign!

BoomerSpooner

autocorrect corrected.