What if the photo were an attachment to an email with the Subject "A photo of my dick" ?
It never is. It is always intended that it should be opened without that warning, a secondary effect of which is that every photo becomes suspect. Terrorism has its effect, by making people scared to do ordinary things.
If men wanted to simply be offensive, they would send photos of their anus, or a turd. A photo of a dick, is a special case ; it is the weapon used in the crime of rape.
Back when I was kid The teacher had a paddle hanging on the wall and it got used from time to time, a couple times on me. We survived and mostly behaved in school and actually learned. Bleeding hearts have taken all punishment out of schools and from parents and what has happened? Classrooms are now out of control (cuz control is not allowed) and violence skyrockets. No kids ever shot up schools back in the day.
Keep trying to take away punishment and trying instead to "educate" people on how to live. All you will do is have increasing numbers of people who need "educated."
@geoff1000 You are going to extremes. The weapon of rape is not the penis—it is violence and control. The dick is just along for the ride. In lieu of the dick there have been several instances where coke bottles and other inanimate objects have been used in rape. You going to condemn that as well? Your analogies and logic are trying to posit a simplistic either-or sheen to a very gray topic. The only thing black and white about it is you shouldn’t send pics that are not requested by the recipient.
@FunCartel That's even more tenuous than the argument that "Guns don't kill people, people kill people". The gun is the weapon, wielded by a person. That's why a photo of a person holding a gun, is much more intimidating than a photo of a person not holding a gun.
Inanimate objects have indeed been used in rape ; but usually by women on women, or when the rape is anal on a male. I'd say that most cases of rape, are done with a penis.
Inanimate objects ( other than sex toys ) are most usually used for a non-sexual purpose, so I think most women would be much less bothered by a photo of a coke bottle than of a penis. Moreover, I suspect the dick in the pic is usually erect, reinforcing the idea that its sexual rather than its urinary function is being referenced.
I have often sent unrequested photos to people, to illustratte the text of a message I am sending. Banning the sending of unrequested photos generally, would be "taking it to extremes" . This forum has unsolicited pictures of vehicles, food, and cute animals ; and I regularly get leaflets through the door illustrating services and goods for sale. The nature of the picture, is surely crucial.
@geoff1000 You have obviously never been in court and heard cases. So I won’t argue anymore with you and your insatiable need to “win” every discussion and respond to every post. Good day.
@FunCartel If you actually didn't want to argue any more, you wouldn't have responded to my post, with the intention of having the last word.
As for the point I am making ; I am trying to offer an opinion on why females probably find dick pics more than merely unpleasant, in the hope that it might discourage people from sending them, and / or doing similar things. I think that's a worthy endeavour.
Instead of debating it , just ask a woman why it's offensive
@FunCartel
"I do not think @Sideon is condoning the act or victim blaming at all. I think he is pointing out that it seems you are blowing the crime out of proportion to the damage done, and that there are steps you can take to protect yourself if you feel violated. When law enforcement puts out steps you can take to prevent a crime, is that victim blaming as well? No, it is prudence and often common sense."
We the people, we the victims, do not have to do anymore than we are already doing to protect ourselves, that is, going on platforms that should be free of such sexual harassment. It is not us who have to "treat EVERY photo suspeciously" though those who send such content without consent who need to ask for permission, and or be on platforms that allow *. And if it isn't as big of a deal to you that we, mostly women, recieve photos of men's unsolicited junk, then we can agree to disagree this moment. I can't have you see how hurtful, scaring, and violating this behaviour is, anymore than you're capable of seeing. I don't think that having first time offenders pay a fine, and if they can't, jailed, and increasing the consequences more on repeat offenders is "blowing the crime out of proportion".
Even if we go in a corner and treat it "suspeciously" until we know the tons of photos we scroll through many updating with new photos every like 30 seconds: it doesn't take away the fact that it will continue to happen and we will continue to be victimized by such, and not have stronger system that works to protect us and platforms that don't accept it. Even if we hide our inboxes from our kids until we mark each message safe, it doesn't take away the fact that we will see it. And we the victims should not have to go to such extreme measures to protect ourselves while still being subject to victimization, and the offenders getting nothing more than, metaphorically speaking, a little slap on the wrist. It's the offenders who* need to be dealt with, enough with always turning on the victims as though we aren't already doing so much to help protect ourselves*.
@Lovelight To help us with the debate, can you tell us specifically why women find such pictures "scaring" ?
I've been accused of offering an opinion without first-hand experience.
Thanks.
I thought I gave a good enough reason why it’s scary and horrible but I guess it got glossed over. Here’s how it feels:
It’s not just a gross nasty picture you go “ew” at and delete. It literally is the same feeling as walking down a street and a random dude opens his trench coat with the deliberation to show you his junk. You can go ahead and write us off as insane and laugh at this sexual assault but it only shows how little you care when it comes to what we go through and how often it happens to us. It makes us feel dirty knowing that strictly because we are female, these perverted men think so little of us and how we feel, that they can show us their dick, some even laughing while telling us to get on our knees and suck it. Anyone who belittles the hardship we go through with unsolicited dick pics need to open their eyes. It’s sexual assault. Stop assuming we’re babies and see it for what it really is.
I think there should be a popcorn emoji for threads like this.
@geoff1000 "To help us with the debate, can you tell us specifically why women find such pictures "scaring" ?
Thanks."
The things being shown are of sexual nature and private parts, which are being shown without the consent of the recipient. When randomly sent to an unsuspecting, unconsenting person, it can be scaring to many who do not want to see it, and any company they may have around them who see it. Especially if that company happen to include underaged children. Like @Sheena123 said, it is the same concept of someone walking in public places that don't allow, and flashing at random people: especially in most cases women, and having the risk of children also seeing it: except it happens online, and there is not generally adequately strong consequences to increase the likelihood of putting an end to it one at a time. And increase the rate of detering* through both outlining this issue in hopes that more get it, and holding accountable those who fail to respect others, and their platforms. Threat is still a threat whether one does it online, or in person: and needs to have the same consquences: likewise, with flashing.
@spuds "I think there should be a popcorn emoji for threads like this."
There already exists one, though I think it's hard to know that and find it when one's too busy acting like an insensitive donut.
It's has the same gross feel of a man "mooning" or spreading his buttocks at another man. One may feel the same revulsion as being flashed with a picture of a penis.
@Bles "It's has the same gross feel of a man "mooning" or spreading his buttocks at another man. One may feel the same revulsion as being flashed with a picture of a penis."
I think that helps to get the point across to some. Though I gotta add, when it's nonconsensual.
@Sheena123 To help me explain it to others, is it analogous to someone pointing a gun at you ?
It might not be real, or loaded ; and they might not pull the trigger, and if they do they might miss. However, the reality and intent, is that the person to whom it is being pointed, is made to believe or is reminded, that the risk exists.
@geoff1000 I’m not going to say someone showing me their dick is analogous to a gun. Someone showing me their dick is analogous to showing me a dick.... not everything needs to be compared to something else to be understood. It’s a dick being flashed to us against our will. It sucks, it’s rude, it’s sexual assault and guys need to stop being pervy and disgusting. I don’t think it’s something to go to jail for but I do think it needs to be punishable. This isn’t something that should be entertaining or laughable.
Think of something you would be appalled at being forced to see. Naked grandma, a fingernail being pulled off, etc. And imagine someone forcing you to see it. It’s sucks, it’s rude and it needs to stop. If it’s not understood up to this point, then you will never understand. You’re just going to have to take the word from the victim who has been through it.
@geoff1000
"To help me explain it to others, is it analogous to someone pointing a gun at you ?
It might not be real, or loaded ; and they might not pull the trigger, and if they do they might miss. However, the reality and intent, is that the person to whom it is being pointed, is made to believe or is reminded, that the risk exists."
To some that could be the one and only case/explanation, and or in addition to other examples. Though at the heart of the matter is to do with consent, the nature of (sexual nature) the content being sent, and to who/where (unconsenting people/platforms) it's being sent.
Perhaps a better way to think of your example, is people (many who you don't even know, nor have such a connection with) sending you photos of them holding particularly threatening items such as a gun, some even pointed at your direction, and often times saying things such as "how does it look, you like it? (And sending many other (I rather not say here) hunting remarks, as though the sending of the threatening, nonconsenual imagery weren't enough)."
I agree @Sheena123 there's only so much that we can only explain and try to help others understand our point of view and experiences. Some might never get it, and maybe some of you just need to step back and actually take time to process what's being said. Maybe then you'll begin to understand it better. Maybe not, I don't expect all to get it.
And as far as jail is concerned, personally I don't think it's too much, if one can't pay and is a first time offenders then, in they'd go. If a repeat offender in they'd go too. Though I can consider the other methods as being capable of massively decreasing and adequately holding offenders accountable. And we can as a society, start with that for some time. Then focus on figuring out what needs to improve and how to optimize the protection of the people, and their platforms.
People understand a rape victim not wanting to have to go to court or see the perp because it brings them right back to the same place and they relive the trauma and pain. I would imagine that a dick pic out of nowhere could send a sexual assault victim, of any level, right back to that place in their mind and force them to relive the trauma or have a panic attack.
Furthermore, its just a DUMB ASS thing to do, by an idiot with Zero Self Respect. Much less any respect for the viewer. Period!!
I am a bit surprised this requires this much debate.
@snuggleme123 doesn't require it , but some folks sure love it regardless
I've heard of people receiving self-opening video links, with flashing images designed to trigger epilepsy ; and them being sent to people who have made it known they are susceptible.
After the anthrax postal scare, there was a spate of people sending envelopes containing white powder.
People have recently been coughing on others, saying they have Covid-19 ; and in some cases the other people have gone on to die of it, suggesting they probably were infected.
Some rapists tell their victims that they have an STD, whether they do or not.
Those who are minded to do so, will use any available means to attack or threaten others. In some cases, the perpetrator isn't that interested in the specific result, they merely enjoy the doing of it ; in the same way that some people enjoy making an anonymous donation to a very large charity, knowing only that they have probably done a little good.
I think everyone likes to feel they have had an influence on someone else, it's a human condition ; and having a bad influence, is so much easier. "Star Wars" reminds us that the Dark Side is the easier path. Easier to sow a minefield, than to clear one.
Sending dick pics certainly deserves all the negative definitions that have been given ; but it is also lazy and cowardly. Who knows, sending a "good" message to a large number of people, might in enough cases start a "good" interaction with them.
If the man in the trench coat chose instead to pick up litter in the park, or simply make the occasional greeting to people ; they might get the interaction they seek.
@Lovelight An insensitive donut?!?!?!? Hey....I resemble that! 😄