I think the guy is struggling with himself, and in a moment of honest introspection, he recognized the monster within and cancelled the appointment. While this may be “rude” or “time wasting,” I think he saved the pro a potentially bad or even dangerous session. In addition, if he took the time to confess in a lengthy communication his weaknesses I think he is looking for help.
So I wouldn’t be so dismissive of the guy. I agree he doesn’t need a cuddler so much as a therapist and I think he is on the edge of an epiphany. But this is why pros need to be careful about overselling the benefits of cuddling and stepping into the area of actual professional treatment. Too many tout how they have helped people with PTSD, bipolar disorder, etc. I have read those proclamations in this forum. Maybe for that period you did, but you do not know if you really did beyond the session. But sometimes the hope of help confuses a person with an affliction and you may find yourself in an extremely dangerous situation. I think the guy in this example realized this and saved her from something terrible. He is not to be commended, but he is deserving of a bit of compassion. He is only 24 and the world around us sends very mixed messages.
The reason why some people struggle to relate "normally" to others ( or specifically to those of the opposite gender ), is often because they have not had enough interaction with others, particularly during what we might call their "formative" years, when puberty kicks in a flood of hormones that changes one's instincts in an alien way. Or alternatively, because that interaction was a negative experience.
We should not be so quick to condemn people who are harmed by that lack of healthy interaction, because they were the victim of circumstances. We ( mostly ) accomodate people in wheelchairs or with guide dogs.
In learning our social skills, there is no substitute for true interaction ; and we should always judge people by what they do, rather than by what they merely contemplate doing, or what they live in hope may occur.
Those who have satisfied their biological impulse to procreate, been successful in the race / lottery that will see the survival of their DNA after they are dead ; can be too quick to judge those who have not, and are either still trying to succeed, or trying to come to terms with not doing so.
To me canceling because you’re not really serious or not sure of doing this can be avoided.
When I first began cuddling I did a lot of homework on the subject. This included everything from legalities to what to expect in a session.
I’ve been cuddling for around two years now. Yes, it’s awkward at the beginning but if you really understand what this is about there should’ve no issues with it.
Guys , also keep in mind that cuddlers need to get prepared for a session including knowing who they are about to cuddle with, locatin if they are not hosting and as Kat said, getting dressed, etc.
This is not for everyone. Just make sure you are comfortable eith what you bare doing and if not find some other activity that will help you.
One significant advantage of a pro-cuddler over an enthusiast or a date, is that you can draw the line of your behaviour, as far short of the pro's boundaries, as you like. There is no obligation on the part of the client to do anything during the session, except pay, and they are free to leave at any time. Unlike an American President, they don't have to work hard during their first term, to get a second term.
Think of buying a Big Mac. You can choose to not eat the lettuce, or eat only the lettuce ; or watch it go cold while you drink your coffee. You haven't paid for the right to eat the Big Mac, you have paid for the option to do so.
I'm sure that any pro-cuddler would happily sit some distance apart from the client, to have the conversation aspect of the cuddle session. They might lock the door, but only to stop other people wandering in. They might suggest things to do, but the choice is always with the client.
A pro-cuddling session should make the client feel safe, and that includes feeling safe to do as little as they want. A reforming alcoholic might want to avoid pubs because alcohol is available, but any responsible landlord will serve soft drinks to those customers who want them, for whatever reason ; it isn't in their interest to force alcohol onto people. There is no peer pressure in a one-on-one session.
A date or an enthusiast by contrast, might well be expecting certain behaviours, without which a second session won't happen. That puts a lot of pressure on people, to be sure they want to do those behaviours, before committing to meet up.
@geoff1000 ,
I don’t understand your logic. You certainly have certain behaviors which should be expected whether you are cuddling with a pro. or enthusiast.
Alan (LEV 136)
I have to turn down pros a lot i only cuddle with nonpros and its sad when a pro contacts you and tried to act nice but you know they just want money its so fake
@Chocolatetreat you are right, there are several like that; but there are some excellent ones as well. Unfortunately there is no science to finding an altruistic cuddler.
@Lev136 I think that all of the expected behaviours by a paying client, relate to things one should not do.
Assuming one arrives clean, on time, and pays ; that's about it.
The client doesn't have to stay for the full time, or touch and let themselves be touched, or make small-talk, or accept offers of food or drink. The client may be a complete bag of nerves at first, unable to string a chorent sentence together ; and the pro will let them progress, or not, at whatever pace they feel comfortable.
I'm trying to correct the assumption, that the poster perhaps had, that meeting with a pro-cuddler somehow crosses a Rubicon.
I might be wrong, I'd appreciate the views of some pro-cuddlers on the subject.
I experience late cancellations so infrequently that I barely pay them any notice. My travel expenses are the majority of my expenses right now, so I do require a deposit, which filters out some people, but mostly it's just the conversations we have before booking a session that allows people to self-filter out. This industry is still so new and misunderstood that I always require certain questions to be answered and certain things to be acknowledged before booking a session. If they haven't had a session before, they usually have a lot of questions. If they have, then I need to understand what type of sessions they have had, because other professionals range from basically no boundary almost sex workers to one with healthy boundaries. If their experience was the former, then they need to know that a session with me won't be like that. Because of everything involved, I rarely book a session sooner than a few days to a week out. I don't push or force or try to convince anyone to have a session. I don't aim to do a ton of sessions and my ideal clients are the ones who don't need to be prodded. I don't know. My process seems to work pretty well so far. I will say that I am REALLY bad at keeping up to date on my inbox in here, lol. Pretty much my entire routine is streamlined in email and text, so I don't really push business here too much, and only get new clients here when someone reaches out to me and is interested enough to fill out my inquiry form. It's pretty rare...
@geoff1000 You are correct in that being a benefit of seeing a professional IF they are a good professional. I know people who have felt sexually harassed or assaulted by professionals. I always recommend people looking for a professional to ask as many questions as they need to find the right fit. Most professionals here have clients who think they're awesome, but that doesn't mean we're all the same, and one person definitely isn't the right fit for everyone. There are plenty of people who screen themselves out of having a session with me, and love other professionals, but I think most of my regular clients either only see me or I'm their favorite. We're all different. It's good to find one that suits your needs, and that is especially important for anyone who has trust issues, is nervous, has experienced touch trauma in the past, etc. Someone just looking for the social aspects may have less need to find certain skills in a professional (though I will warn that my experience indicates that most people who think they are only looking for the social aspects have other stuff going on that they aren't even aware of; I have heard so many stories of people being scammed or manipulated or pressured by professionals).
This post is super relevant to what is being discussed currently on the forums. Thank you to the person who pointed me to it.
For another perspective, I turned to platonic, but "professional" cuddling as a form of "therapy." Talk therapy is simply mental. Massage therapy is physical. Cuddling combines both with the added bonuses of intimacy and sensuality without any expectations of falling in love or having sex -- providing a much deeper connection for rejuvenation and healing.
Basically, it has allowed me to be vulnerable in a safe space with nurturing. So, please don't jump to any conclusions regarding those pros that consider themselves healers. They have helped me immensely in finding my way to a new normal after a traumatic period in my life.
I'm particularly fond of cuddling being non-sexual. It totally takes the pressure off. It allows for a comfortable, relaxing, and even blissful connection. Nurturing and touch originated with our mothers and/or fathers. It was never sexual for me when my mother held me. It was never sexual for me when my father rubbed my back. I think when we grow up we still have the same needs but it's often provided by our spouse which is a sexual relationship. It's nice to separate it again. My wife is not a cuddler. I can't think of any woman I'd rather be married to, however I still feel that need for cuddling. I'm happy to achieve that nurturing in a platonic relationship. I don't have to perform sexually and work myself up into the usual sweaty worn out self that falls onto the bed afterwards. I can just relax and give and take comfort and nurturing in a non-pressure wonderful session. I think it helps to go into these relationships without any expectations of anything sexual ever. No expectations, no disappointment. I was recently with a pro who was very attractive to me and very cuddly but I never felt sexual at all. I never got an erection. It was an hour plus of pure contentment. Feeling so nurtured and safe. A true professional knows what she's providing. She knows how to make you feel comfortable and make you believe that everything is mutual. I don't care if she's acting or lying or whatever as long as I get the experience I paid to achieve. If I could achieve this with an enthusiast instead, all the better. :-)
@PrinceDon you hit the nail on the head with a lot of points. ☺️💜
Jeez, all the Dons on here are just so awesome. @DonLonG looking at you as well.
I have found that lots of men conflate touch with sexuality. I have found that some just don't. And I have found that some are aware of the conflation in themselves and nevertheless are able to keep it platonic and even want to keep it platonic despite their bodily responses.
Until there's a machine that can read your thoughts, that's strictly nobody's business. Behavior is what's important. An adult must be able to guarantee to others that behavior will be under control, and that's all anybody needs to know. If a person decides he can't control his behavior during a cuddle, he's right to tap out before it starts and no explanation needs to be given. If it's a late cancel, then the appointment should be paid for.