@DeathbyChocolat Someone else similarly posted recently, that the anxiety of communicating, was more than offset by the reassurance of physically being with the other person. Others prefer a video chat before agreeing to meet. I suppose it's like some people have as pets, animals that other people have phobias about.
It's a natural tendency to assume that people are mostly like ourselves, hence the expression, "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you". I keep having to remind myself that's not always what they want. The expression should be, "Do unto others, as they would have you do unto them".
@geoff1000 ~ 👏👏👏👍
The expression should be, "Do unto others, as they would have you do unto them"... ... and if they haven't told you what that is, ask.
At least that how I teach it...
@DeathbyChocolat . So you know me????. What is my personality then? I am having much success here without a photo or much info in my profile. You are the type that I wouldn't associate with in real life because you are too opinionated. There are some people who are uncomfortable with virtual sessions but those persons wrote in a way that was clear and respectful. However, yours is different. You said to another person that you are a spiritual person and to me that you careless so I say this. If you see a topic that is not something you do or familiar with, move on to the next topic because you commented on something I am doing that you don't do.
No need to argue over this. Nothing wrong with sharing one's opinion. That's what discussion forums are for.
If you like it do it if you don't then don't do it. Arguing about things you like that others don't and vice versa is pointless. Likes and dislikes are subjective.
I was making myself a corned beef sandwich at work. A colleague said that I had put on too much pickle. "I tell you what", I said. "I won't make you eat it."
@geoff1000 - The only real crime are people who put pineapple on pizza.
@Mike403 Such people are too embarrassed to admit it, calling it a Hawaiian to hide their felony.
@DeathbyChocolat I'm on your team 👍
I'm with @Mike403 on this one . Gutless bastards !
What?!!! @Mike403 and @pmvines ... Pineapple on plain cheese pizza is delicious! What ruins it is the ham! Smh! 🍍+🧀=💖
@quixotic_life - Ewww.... That's almost as nasty as putting ketchup on French fries. :P
For a real Hawaiian you gotta use pineapple and Spam :-/
@Lisa2476 thanks 🙏🏾
@MrCuddlenity the feelings mutual and since I’ve been here for several years and I will continue to be opinionated 😭
@geofff1000 well at least you didn't have to worry about them eating and throwing away most of it
@DeathbyChocolat I can super relate.. I have anxiety, I am terrified of voice calls, let alone a video chat. With strangers, it isn't my cup of tea. I'm someone who finds it easier to feel a person out in person. I can't quite explain it but I can feel a person's energy and intent. I read not just what a person says but what a person does,, body language, etc.. I have my anxiety meeting people too, but it goes away much faster than trying to think of words that ends up being a mess when delivered 🙃. If I'm around a person and I still feel tense, it isn't right. I follow my intuition and it hasn't failed me. I haven't tried the virtual sessions personally, maybe I just don't understand how they work. How do you "virtually cuddle" someone?
@Christabear My concern over a physical meeting, is that it needs more commitment, and it is harder to end if it goes wrong. I know that if it goes well, that offsets the anxiety, but that isn't guaranteed.
I find text conversation easiest, though admittedly less rewarding.
I also don't understand how to "virtually cuddle" someone. Some pros use this as a 2nd job because it is discreet and their S/O won't find out about it. One of my past pros wouldn't respond to texts unless it was a request for a job. No social media contact, etc. Privacy was extremely important to her. Then again, you also have the ones that are extremely friendly with you and want to contact you on social media
Wow. What happened to this post? Lol. Circling all the way to the beginning, @CrossFitNLattes it would be pretty simple if I had kids. "Mom is going to be working for the next hour and be on a phone call, so you can't bother me." 🤷♀️
Also, if a pro is sneaking around and not telling their significant other about her activities, she may not be very qualified for this work. 😆 It took awhile to tell my parents about it, but to sneak around behind your partner's back... 🤔
@ubergigglefritz - I'm afraid to tell anyone I hired a pro cuddler. Too many people don't understand it. I found out about the industry through a post on social media describing this "weird" job and literally every single comment was from people expressing how creepy it is.
@Mike403 completely different as a client. As a professional, I have learned so much about boundaries, consent, conflict management, etc. I often help my clients with all of these things. I support people if they are doing it secretly, sometimes that's what works best for the relationship for sure (more so for short-term education and rehabilitation than long-term deception 😞). But if they wish to tell their partner, I can help with coaching there as well. The skills I use as a professional to help people, well, if I were engaging in long-term deception on my partner, that's not a very good indication of those skills. 😇 That's all I was saying. I don't expect clients to have those same skills or they would be the professional. 😉
@Christabear perfectly put I like to call it a vibe check
@ubergigglefritz i don’t think that transparency in your personal life has anything to do with being qualified to be a pro.
Also, I love pineapple on pizza. I’ll die on this hill.
@Leonora Nope. It could be an indication of certain things though. And I am specifically talking about transparency with a romantic partner. It took quite awhile before I told my parents for sure. And announced to all my friends. Etc. Deception takes a toll on many things. I wanted that out of my work as soon as I could become comfortable with it.
I’ve enjoyed the virtual sessions I’ve had here but I don’t necessarily consider them cuddling. It’s a way for me to feel connected to different people across the far reaches of the globe I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do so. As far as cuddlers or pros not telling their spouse or S.O about their cuddling endeavors .... if they choose not to do so I either A - don’t know because it’s not something I inquire about usually to begin with. Or B- if for some reason they do decide to share this information with me , I assume they have their reasons for not telling their partner which are none of my business and for me anyways has no bearing on the quality of service they provide.
The risk for someone not telling their SO, is that they might eventually connect either their SO, or someone who knows them. The outcome will probably be bad, but maybe not . . . https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_(The_Pi%C3%B1a_Colada_Song)
@quixotic_life I wasn't first, but I promise I didn't copy. 😀 https://thriveglobal.com/stories/platinum-is-the-new-gold-what-the-platinum-rule-can-do-for-your-career/
@geoff1000 "from narcissism to altruism"
"The Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way that they want to be treated.”
Consider the depth and breadth of changes in both mindset and behavior that this paradigm shift forces us to adopt. The Platinum Rule takes the focus off of “us” and puts it where it belongs; on “them.”
We can’t possibly know how others want to be treated, what makes them smile, what brings them peace and relief and hope and purpose…if we don’t know them intimately. We’ve got to know them and understand them in a truly private and personal way, and the only way to get there is through connection."
Challenge accepted!
Obviously, I wasn't first either, but some seem to think so as I correct on this often and it's the first time they've heard/considered it.
A while back I was looking at this poster... [and that's when the idea solidified for me. Most seem to be saying the same thing but lack the critical piece that put's the other's wishes above our own for consideration. Just because I want it, doesn't mean anyone else does.]
[Edited to fix links and add bracketed thought above] Here's the poster link for those wanting to purchase: https://bayardfaithresources.com/products/the-golden-rule-poster-student-take-home-version
Above quotes from: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-despair-and-disparity-of-the-golden-rule/