Has anyone ever dealt with a cuddler who asks for full payment 24 hours in advance? This sounds kind of like a way to lose cash quick. I recently had a run in with someone like this. I will not name names. But has anyone dealt with this?
Some people want deposits in advance. Asking for full payment seems sketchy. But if the cuddler has positive karma, seems like a reasonably thoughtful person (for instance, has filled out her profile and is capable of basic communication), and the session is not crazy long, I'd probably do it.
It seems pretty common for professionals to ask for deposits (and pretty reasonable imo), but no never heard of any who wanted the full payment 24 hours in advance or otherwise. Would agree with @SanFranResident that if their profile is in order and most importantly they have karma then it'd probably be alright to go ahead with it.
Never give full payment 24 hours in advance...that's nuts. a deposit maybe...but full payment? hell no
I only require a deposit to help cover upfront costs to set up the session. I offer a 5% discounts for paying in full, but not required ever.
I require that as of recent and it hasn't been an issue. Let me give you some perspective on this one and why I do it:
I've run into quite a few people as of late that pass all my screening and things go over very well on the phone, but as soon as they commit to a session session date and time, suddenly they're not responsive at all and they completely ghost me. With the pandemic I can only see one person in my home a day as it is, so when people do this it hurts me a lot more than it normally would since I can't see anyone else in my home that day.
The 24 hour prepay is to secure that timeslot for them and to make sure I know when I'm working.
Now, I wouldn't collect prepay with Venmo or Cashapp or the likes because from the clients' end that's harder to get your money back if the professional cuddler is the one to ghost you. I personally take these payments using Squareup even though there's a credit card processing fee because it offers more benefits for me to use it, but it also offers more benefits and protections to my clients like:
they can save their card on file with me in case they forget their wallet in a future visit (which has happened a couple times before), and
they can dispute any illegitimate charges I make (the process is easy for the client and a PITA for me tbh, so unless I have a decent paper trail of info proving that we agreed to that charge I will lose to the credit card company... Which for two people I had sessions with that tried to claim fraudulent charges I DID have enough proof we agreed upon it and held the sessions so the chargebacks were waived).
I recommend that if you're worried about getting ripped off with a 24 hour in advance payment that you 1. See if they have good karma ratings
Pay in a way that you'll be able to easily dispute the charge if things go south, and
Make sure that you leave a good papertrail proving that the person was non-communicative after you paid and you did not get to redeem services after payment. You can do this by reaching out trying to talk to them after payment, such as confirming that you paid, it they ghost trying to message with timestamps shown that you were asking if they're still on, etc. This all helps to prove your case to the credit card companies so that the cuddler has nothing to go off of for defending the charge.
@SnugglewithSam great points about the benefits to using square for the client. I have always used square. The processing fee is roughly 3%, so nothing to get upset over as a provider, given the benefits it provides to both parties, and I had never thought about the significance of the protection for the client before. 👍 None of the free services are supposed to be used for business transactions, only between friends, so it stands to reason that it would provide no protection if someone decides to skip out afterwards. I imagine you could get in trouble or get banned if they discovered you were breaking the terms of service. I just don't want to mess with that. 😝
I never do deposits because there are so many Pros that do not require this. The instant I see, read or hear that I move on to someone else. Why? Because while many businesses may require a deposit they usually have a brick and mortar location. I am not going to give a person on the internet that I do not know any money. Trust is a two-way street and that is a one-way street. I will not do and never will because I have been burned by it the one time I did it.
With that said, Pros have the right to make that a part of how they do business and I have the right to decline and find someone else. I have found some amazing cuddlers without ever putting money down.
@FunCartel of course that is your right, but why is the brick and mortar location a difference that warrants a deposit? To go to a location for someone I usually need to put up close to $100 and require a $50 deposit from them to do so (if I'm already there and just need to add another night for them, that's less, usually $30-40, but all clients are treated the same, so same deposit no matter how much or how little is required from me). That way we have both put in money towards the session for it to happen. But just like you are free to "just say no", I do the same, lol. If someone isn't able to pay the deposit in a timely manner, I just move on to my next location, lol. This results in my not seeing new people too often, as it's not always easy to get into my rotation, but people who really want a session seem to make it happen, and once you're in my rotation, it's much easier moving forward. I operate so much differently now that I'm full-time on the road. 😆
@ubergigglefritz You can rationalize to me all you want why you expect a deposit, but at the end of the day I still won’t put down a deposit. You can ghost after a deposit and you will not have a physical location for me to go make a claim as a business with a physical location. I do not care what you are putting into the business...you can charge a deposit and that is your right...but I will still just move on to the pro that isn’t expecting me to “prove” myself on the internet to them.
You do you and get the clients that you get. As for me there are too many wonderful pros that I have met that do not require a deposit. Why would I change that for you? Don’t answer that because my answer will remain the same.
Lol, you don't have to be defensive. You could have just jumped to answering my question, not having an address to file a claim with. Makes sense, but I believe with square (or if you pay paypal to business and not as a friend) it's pretty easy to contest a charge. A lot of pros use friend to friend payments and those give you NO protection, so are a very bad idea. I don't need you to be a client, lol, but just contributing to the conversation for people who are reading it. 😊 Also, most pros don't have the expenses I do, so less of a reason for a deposit unless they are full-time cuddlers and get booked, so lose a time slot. 🤷♀️
@ubergigglefritz I wasn’t being defensive, I was responding to your previous post. I was being proactive about you not responding because my answer would be the same because, true to form, you responded because you do not like the answer and feel compelled to show why my way is wrong.
As far as your expenses being more than others and justifying a deposit because of it, I would offer this—if Rental car company A requires a deposit because their business model is more expensive than rental car company B, I am going with Rental Car Company B because ultimately they are smarter, more efficient, and ultimately care about making things easiest for the customer. We all make choices and no one is required to make a deposit because someone’s business model has flaws in it when there are plenty of other choices not requiring a deposit.
I'm more talking to people reading, than you. You said you have lots of great pros to see, so why pay a deposit? You wouldn't. If you're happy, that's great. The people I see have no other options (whether from absence or just lack of response) or don't like their options (poor quality pros), so they are in a completely different situation than you. Their Rental Car Company B is either bankrupt and out of business, completely absent, not answering their phones, or renting cars that break down a half mile down the street. They would more gladly pay a deposit to get a car from Rental Car Company A since their only other option is to walk. Some people choose to just walk, but if they don't want to walk, they pay the deposit.
I do, however, take offense to "...ultimately they are smarter, more efficient, and ultimately care about making things easiest for the customer." My added expenses are not because I lack in intelligence, efficiency, or don't care about the customer, but because I travel to so many places. Ultimately, it's the opposite. I care a little too much (some places I go, I barely turn a profit, but I won't abandon the people who need this and have no options), and my intelligence and efficiency allow me to travel in such a way to at least break even in these situations. I'm not trying to argue with you about your choices. They make 100% sense. But most people aren't as lucky as you to have Rental Car Company B at all, let alone to have that company be the same quality of experience as Rental Car Company A.
No need to insult me. I'm not insulting you or trying to change your opinion at all. Your choice and opinion makes 100% sense in your case.
I also encourage people to be very careful about who they choose to pay deposits to and HOW. There are a lot of scammers out there and people who will steal your money and ghost you. Only pay through PayPal SEND TO A BUSINESS / PAY FOR A SERVICE (not send to a friend) or SQUARE. That way you can report it and get refunded if they skip out. Lots of pros use friend to friend payment services and you have NO protection with these services. Just don't do it. There are legitimate reasons for people to request deposits and if you feel they have them and you want a session with a professional who requires a deposit, then you can still follow through while maintaining protection for yourself. But if you're lucky, like FunCartel, and have good options you're happy with, no deposits required, vote with your business and just use them. 🤷♀️😇
Why do these threads exist? If you're not happy with the way somebody conducts their business, don't use them. Starting threads on the forums isn't doing you any favors.
@Mike403 Because not all pros are the same and some people, like the OP, want to know what is kosher, what isn’t and how to handle it. There are a ton of threads in the general forum that serve no purpose at all, yet they exist. The people determine what is a worthwhile thread.
@ubergigglefritz Who is being defensive now? I give a hypothetical example And you are offended?
@FunCartel - I suggest you stop now.
I'm not offended by your hypothetical example of car rental businesses. 🙄 I'm offended by your assumption that the business that doesn't require deposits is a better model, the owner more intelligent, more efficient, and cares more. Your explanation as to why you would prefer one business over the other is not specific to your example. It's a reasonable interpretation. 🤷♀️
But regardless, I am not responding for @FunCartel 's purpose. Just in the event someone else reads the thread. I have no hope of getting him to understand another perspective. 🤷♀️
@Mike403 I think the original intent was to ask if this was normal or a concern, but it has turned into something more heated. I apologize for my contribution to that. 😆
I could have not felt offended, but I think it's good to understand that there is a lot more to look at when deciding a business' intelligence, efficiency, and authentic care for their customers than simply whether they require deposits or not. Usually there is a legitimate reason, sometimes it is for ill intent. I suggest, whether a deposit is required or not, for people to be very careful what professional they use and ask all the questions they want in order to make that decision. There are lots of ways to lose or waste money, even without a deposit required, and there is no shortage of crummy pros to provide that experience. It's beneficial to take the time to find the good ones. They are out there. 😊
Anyway, I apologize for any time I contribute to a thread going downhill. My head is also still a bit off from stay-at-home times. 🤪
@Mike403 I know you spend your life here, but I am entitled to express myself as much as the next person.
@ubergigglefritz I fully understand your perspective; you just don’t like mine. I accept that you want a deposit. You are a very small minority that wants deposits. That’s cool. But I am telling the OP he can reject that pro because most pros do not ask for a deposit. After one time doing it and being ripped off I reject any pro that asks for it. It is a conversation ender for me and if he has other options I would suggest he do the same. If you are asking for deposits and getting them, good for you. That’s it. Nothing really to go over and over about on this topic.
@FunCartel - Clients are fully capable of ghosting as well and like @ubergigglefritz mentioned, some spend time and money traveling to places that they can't get back and that's not counting the lost business(they blocked off that part of their schedule to make time for you and probably won't be able to book another client in that short of time).
@Mike403 I get that people ghost on both sides as that is stating the obvious. I am not going to pay for someone else’s rudeness. I have had over 100 sessions all deposit free and I am not paying a deposit now. I continue to see pros and non-pros deposit free (not during COVID) so my advice to a newbie is to not pay a deposit. The site locks you into a pro already when you book, and there are repercussions for both if that covenant is broken. The deposit is a layer added on by the individual and that is what I refuse to pay. I never say they couldn’t do a deposit, just that I refuse to make a deposit. This is not that hard to understand—individual pros can institute a deposit policy but I can reject those pros for doing so as well. The deposits they are referring to are not part of the site’s policies.
Then don't. The way I see it, if they have been on this site for awhile and have positive karma ratings, it's probably safe to trust them.
And vice versa. And again, stating “then don’t” is stating the obvious when I have said repeatedly I don’t. And let me me add that positive karma does not mean truthful karma. I have run into some that were definitely not as advertised. And again, I wonder if you read the original post who wanted to know about deposits. You are making it about me and it’s not.
@darkmoonrising You do not have to pay a deposit. I would not. I would move on to the next pro. A deposit is a glorified layaway plan. When you book an appointment you have made a commitment. No need to make a second one with the same person.
Pro cuddlers ,.. were never intended to make a full time living ... only to spread a little love around and to compensate for time. The language in the cuddler agreement that describes penalties to the client who cancels is only to discourage would be clients from making make believe cuddle sessions that would never happen . If there were no penalties for no show there would be lots more flaking cuddler clients . Right now On any given day , lots of pro cuddlers have nothing scheduled .
I can see that there are a few trying to make a full time career of cuddling , if I were to pay a deposit( which I don’t ) I would like to see a statement on file with the website that the particular cuddler is in fact a career cuddler depending on cuddling monies as primary income
@FunCartel I am not trying to convince you of anything. You are encouraging people to not pay deposits, I am encouraging people to look more closely before deciding. You are right in that good karma isn't necessarily 100% trustworthy. I encourage all potential clients to be careful in choosing a pro. Like I said, there are lots of ways to waste money on a bad pro than just losing a deposit. People should be picky. As for your "vice versa" comment, another way I'm strange is that I'm very adamant about treating everyone equally. I don't make judgment calls and say "you pay a deposit, but this other person doesn't need to." Everyone has the same rules, the same rates, the same available discounts. I don't play favorites in those ways...
As far as I know, none of the pro cuddlers in my area ask for payment 24 hours in advance. That said, many holistic health professionals do, and if they have a reputable website I generally don't have an issue with it. I've never had anyone scam me when I have paid up front for a holistic health treatment. I can understand that some would be hesitant if someone just has a profile on here and doesn't actually have their own business with an actual website, though.
@TouchSanctuary the problem is that we aren't allowed to share personal websites on here. 😞
I would think we all realize that although anyone can sign up, any account scamming wouldn't last here. Any time you are taking on someone from the internet, it's up to you to size them up. Age of the account, karma, communication style, and for a pro, sometimes a deposit.
If your pro has a week old account, poor communication skills, no karma, and a striking resemblance to your favorite porn star, you might have a point.
Conversely, If they have a strong presence on the site that shows they value the community and practice, ie, an established profile with good karma, they aren't likely to sacrifice that to scam someone. So choose your pro wisely.
I don't usually require a deposit, but if it's a first meet, I am traveling to them, or just not quite comfortable with them, I will.
If you're offended by the possibility of a (fake) pro scamming you, consider that it has come to pass for all of us tons of times. Pros get played with frequently. Bored trolls, angry incels, rejected clients, and I've found to my disappointment, even other pros will put a surprising amount of effort into wasting their time and ruining their day.
Providing a deposit eliminates all that pointless victimization and allows the pro to carry on with the warm, cuddly, generous good will towards humanity we're all here for.
@biancalovecraft Your message is about deposits, but that's somewhat different from the topic of this thread, which is about paying for the entire session in advance.
Even on the topic of deposits: I've been asked to pay a deposit exactly once. I did so, but the whole experience was one of the worst I've had from this site. Going forward, I will be pretty skeptical of deposit requests, and will not even consider requests for whole payment in advance.