Thanks @quixotic_life.
Lady reminds me of creepy guys in discos.... "Hey ladies!" Ack. It feels to me to be a sign that someone sees me less as a person and more as a projected thing. However, I realize some fellows are just awkward or trying really hard to be respectful and maybe "lady" seems higher class or something.
Girls.... ditto. Feels minimizing. And again, not gonna bite anyone for using words I don't prefer. I realize we're all just trying to reach for each other in the best way we know how.
"Lady" has usually been a safe bet for me ; though when I had some 20-something females in the back of my taxi and one swore, I said, jokingly, "Mind your language, there are ladies present", and another replied, "No there F-ing isn't !"
The army used to refer to, "Officers and their ladies, NCOs and their wives, other ranks and their women".
If no word is going to be good for everyone, it's best to pick the one that's least offensive to the most people.
Maybe it's old school, thinking of the Kenny Rogers song with that title.
"Creepy guys in discos" have perhaps spoiled the proper and respectful use of the word ; using it to cover their very ungentlemanly intent.
I'd love to talk to a woman who would find "woman" offensive. My humble opinion is that's the safest bet. Or "person/people."
@littermate in my anarcho punk days we spelled women as womyn to distinguish as non male . I still see that from time to time in the riot grrrl movement but not as often
@pmvines & @littermate
Alternatives furthered... Womyn ~ Them/Others Wemyn ~ I'm included
@littermate I've often heard "woman" used offensively ; so someone who has been on the receiving end of such a comment, might be offended by it.
Most words which are now insulting / offensive, started out as innocent, maybe even complimentary ; as your example of "lady", it is your experience of the word in a bad context, which makes it upset you. In England, "Lady" is the official title of a minor aristocrat, so don't be too nice to The Queen, in case she has to give you an insulting title. 😀
@quixotic_life - I'm not fully against strip clubs. Whatever guys want to waste their money on. I agree that they should not be anywhere near an elementary school. Put them out in the middle of nowhere. Horny of-age adults will find it.
@Mike403 The best way to keep flies out of your kitchen, is to put a pile of horse manure in your living room. 😀
Not sure we in the platonic cuddling community should condemn the customers for "wasting" their money ; they would probably say the same about paid platonic cuddling with a clothed female.
The soccer player George Best famously said, "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds [ = young women ] and fast cars. The rest I just wasted".
@geoff1000 - I told my dad he wasted money on a bowling ball... cause I'm not really into bowling. :P
@littermate What a fantastic thread!!! I have so many reactions. YOU TRIGGERED ALL SORTS OF BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS AND IDEAS!!! hahahhahaha So many people have interesting perspectives..... I love a thread like this one.
Get ready..... long post ahead..... Avert your eyes if you must.
trigger-- noun-- a small device that releases a spring or catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in order to fire a gun; an event or circumstance that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation trigger-- verb-- cause to happen or exist; to initiate or activate a response; distress, typically as a result of arousing feelings or memories associated with a particular traumatic experience trigger--synonyms-- cause, activate, generate, start, prompt, elicit, produce, initiate
I do think there are words in our world that cause a reaction based on our specific history. You are right @davebutton "trigger" was used for a gun or bomb and then we consistently TEND to use it in a negative connotation especially now that we understand the idea of PTSD. Sorry you had to go through that experience.... That must have been incredibly uncomfortable... I'm certainly not qualified to give you or your workmate any kind of advice so I will keep any "you should's or you need to's" to myself..... like @APV mentioned. These are some other words I think we should consistently rethink.
It seems like some of these phrases evoke strong emotions in each of us for different reasons. What I have found is that I don't normally mind the specifics of the word if the person its coming from has a bit of a connection with me. i.e. when someone brand new messages me on here and they immediately start calling me pet names like "sweetheart" or "gorgeous" it tweaks a little emotion and a sort of BS detector goes off with lights and whistles. What I've found is that if someone gives me a nickname from my user name it doesn't bother me at all. Like "Hey Silly..." when they write me a message. What is also interesting to hear is how lady and girl or woman all affect us differently. I am reminded of so many instances when different people said the same words and it came across as an absolute insult or a familiarity that was appreciated. hmmmmmm so many viewpoints!!
I absolutely agree with all of the posts that mentioned we can't lump people together and think we know them just because a few of our experiences have been good or bad..... like "ALL men" or "all women" or "those millennials" we have to let everyone be who they are without categorizing them before they even open their mouths. (of course its only AFTER they mansplain to me that I put them in the mansplain grouping....)
@Zundar you are so right!! this was beautiful We're all a result of our upbringing and experiences after all, the only way to get out of it is to change and hope the world does the same around us.
Well said as always @DarrenWalker I especially don't like it when the words come along with an assumption—spoken or unspoken—that I should change something about myself in order to either fit into the box better or to stand out. Can we all just let it be what it is..... let us be who we are.... LET IT BE
Yeah!
@sillysassy ~ Go you!!!
I ♡ all of that! Well put!
Thank you @sillysassy 💛 Makes me wish I had known you were there 2 years ago when I transferred ✈️ ✈️ in your city.
"Bro" irritates me, as does "brother". This could possibly be because I place no value on the family unit.
I never did I understand the word broham. Makes no sense to me . My son introduced me to a band called brojob. Now that is a word I would call somebody
Hahaha!
I wouldn’t use the word “triggered” at places like Sandy Hook or Columbine. Words are not the subject of censorship by individuals as the thread implies, but rather context as my example of triggered demonstrates. As such, context should trigger common sense in individuals. Fire is an anathemic utterance in a theater but welcomed if you are a soldier under attack on the front lines in a war. Too often we censor words with complete disregard for appropriate contexts.
@FunCartel Agreed.
I too often say I'm "starving", when I am in fact only slightly peckish. Using a word as hyperbole, is disrespectful to people to whom it literally applies ; and Internet forums have such a wide audience, that someone is likely to be included.
One of my particular hates is "raped", which is used by some male coworkers to describe the act of being severely criticised in a meeting.
In the movie "Red Dawn" (1984), a male character says to a female character who is angry, "What's up your ass ?" The verbal exchange which follows, implies she suffered particular abuse by the invading soldiers, which made the comment upsetting.
@FunCartel great point, thanks.
My brother calls me broham and drives me crazy
What even is "broham"? That's a new one on me but you guys seem familiar. Enlighten the ignorant!
An Italian coworker tells me the story of him going on holiday to the other end of his country. He called some stranger "friend", not realising that in the local dialect, the word meant "very non-platonic" friend. A fight was only barely avoided.
Noun. broham (plural brohams) (slang) bro, brother; a male comrade or friend.
😂😂
@MissAdventurous Thanks! Where does it come from? Curious about the context out of which it sprang.
I still prefer brojob
Snort.
@littermate
@MissAdventurous I'm simultaneously so educated and entertained, thank you!
@FunCartel spot on as always. Well said.