Thoughts on deposits.

xandriarain

I am on the verge of requiring deposits for new clients. I have been doing this for over a year and there’s always been bad weeks where I was plagued with cancellations. I generally felt like there were more good apples than bad apples and that having a deposit requirement would just scare away way too many potential new clients which is not some thing I can afford to do during a pandemic when business has been slow. This weekend I was supposed to see client A on Friday night Client B during the day Saturday and client C on Saturday night. Client A pushed back the session 45 minutes and then stopped answering his phone and ended up being a no-show, wasting two hours of my time. Then finally client A reached out to me and told me his phone died and came up with some sob story once I was basically home already. The next day client A tried to reschedule and I told him I already had two sessions with clients B and C but then shortly afterwards client C canceled so client A agreed to take over that time I would have been with client C. My current cancellation policy does require people who cancel or are no-shows to pay a deposit if they want to rebook. So I told client A that he had to pay $100 deposit before I would agree to see him and he had until I was done with client B at 3pm. Of course 3 PM rolled around and I had not gotten so much as a text let alone a deposit from client A so now I have no Saturday night session. Then tonight I was supposed to have another session and that also got canceled last minute. So overall I lost out on about $600 in one weekend due to people canceling last minute I also missed out on going to a birthday party and a day trip to the Poconos because I thought I had to work and I could’ve done both of those things. I’ve had weeks where I probably lost out on $1000 or more due to cancellations. My plan was to wait until this pandemic had subsided more and my business was doing better to start requiring deposits because I have heard from several professional cuddlers that it’s even harder to get booked when you have a deposit requirement. I am already having a hard time getting booked, devoting hours of my week just reaching out to people and doing the video chat consults. I would like to hear what people’s thoughts are on deposits from both the professional cuddler perspective and the client perspective.

You're established, you've got a lot of karma, I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to take deposits and will probably help you cut down on the nonsense.

As a client I have some degree of skepticism about deposits - IME responsible and honest pros are in the minority - but with a pro who's got a lot of karma I wouldn't have a problem with it.

cuddleversed

I've never been asked to pay a deposit and I have never cancelled a session after scheduling either. But from what I hear from pros over and over is that they get a lot of cancellations and that is BS. People flaking out or just wasting a pros time give good clients a bad name. So I understand the need for a deposit and personally I wouldn't have a problem paying a deposit to a known and reputable cuddler.

MissX

@xandriarain I've had a few weekends like that and it's super frustrating especially when you throw in the cost of getting a room. I currently don't require deposits unless there's been some issue in the past like with your client A. I don't know if you can edit your poll to give an additional choice or 2 for those like me?

cuddlerforu24

To me a deposit for a session is a turn off . I’m not worried about losing money . It says that the cuddler does not trust me to keep an appointment. And I’m going to invite them over and * pay * them . It’s not happening .
For those cuddlers that want deposits I wish them a prosperous cuddling career.

@cuddlerforu24

It says that the cuddler does not trust me to keep an appointment.

Well yeah... You're a stranger on the Internet whom she's never met. Why in the world would you expect her to trust you for anything?

cuddlerforu24

@CuddleMeLater ... the cuddler is a stranger to me . It also possible that the cuddler will cancel . .. and if they are not feeling up to cuddling come session time , I want them to cancel . It’s better that way .

And yes , they can trust me or peddle their cuddling to someone else .

@cuddlerforu24 do you feel the way about a professional with a fair few karma such as OP? you don't have to trust them completely, just trust that they won't cancel without refunding you (which I don't see as very likely considering you could report them for doing so).

cuddlerforu24

Zundar... that is correct . I will not initiate contact with them if they disclose on their profile the deposit requirement. , no matter how many glowing karmas and feedbacks . If it is not disclosed and comes up later i will propose no deposit. Yes I am sure that in the event the cuddler has to cancel they will refund . Doesn’t that seem kind of awkward ? The pro cuddler wants the deposit to secure the session then they cancel for some reason . Besides , I don’t want them to feel obligated to make a session because they are holding money . If they just don’t feel like cuddling it’s no problem.

xandriarain

@cuddlerforu24 I can only speak for myself but I will say that this is my full-time job. I would not, not show up to a session just because I didn’t feel like it similar to how most people don’t just skip out on work because they don’t feel like it. I genuinely enjoy cuddling and talking to people and I find that it relaxes me and puts me in a good mood even if I start out my day in a bad mood. The only times I’ve ever had to cancel is because of a true emergency or because I was sick. I really depend on having those sessions come through and when they fall through it just makes everything more stressful. It also can make me miss out on other parts of life because I canceled plans with friends or what not because I knew I had to put work first. It’s frustrating to have to cancel social plans only to have the session fall through later on. I feel like the type of cuddler you are referring to are the ones that are not as serious about it and probably aren’t doing this as a full-time job.

cuddlerforu24

Xandriarain ... that is correct ... I only have experience with enthusiast pros not pro pros...(. Is there such a category ? Professional pros vs side work pros?)

I kind of want to keep things relaxed ,friendly , and go with the flow like . I explained to another pro pro on this site that I work with written agreements contracts ..deposits to rent equipment and I want to get away from that after work , so , loosey-goosey understanding that ..” yeah let’s cuddle next Wednesday evening” ... “ok ,”. The inclusion of a deposit just makes me feel that I’m at work . I can see the need for a pro pro to secure their calander and ensure that the cash flow is there. I also see the reason for a deposit with anyone pro pro or side work pro from if there is a clothing request and the pro has to purchase . I would like to think a deposit would be for a fun time sometimes I think of deposits I put on fishing charters because bait has to be purchased and fuel for the boats twin 454’s. But ,.... typically a pro cuddlers doesnt make or have to incur costs for session prep ... ( not including gas or tolls).
Do I have to have the cuddling ? Mmnnn No ...
Will I have a nervous break down if the cuddler doesn’t or can’t make a session or requests before hand because “ canwedothursdayinsteadofteusdaybecausethisdudeaskedforyourslothesonlyavailobleontuesday.....?” No... I won’t have a breakdown.
I want them to have a full schedule .
I would like them to go to the poconos if an opportunity comes to the pro I’m flexible .
Yeah if the cuddler wants the 80 an hour they will defiantly keep the session , so, that’s my thinking that I won’t have flakes with the side work pros. But still ... no deposits.

You have good work ethics that you have descibed.

ubergigglefritz

I've always believed that if you have a LOT of cancellations, there's a bigger issue at play. A deposit can help but it's also sort of a Band-Aid if you do not address the underlying issues. I have only ever required deposits when I have had significant upfront costs or travel time in order to make the session happen, and across doing this work for two and a half years, I have had very few late cancellations or no shows. Currently since I am full time on the road in my motorhome, all sessions require upfront cost with gas and campsite reservations, so I require a small $50 deposit for all sessions. Often times I have higher upfront cost than that, so we are sort of sharing the risk. 🤷‍♀️

I think we're seeing a distinction between people who value their own time and the time of others vs. people who do not value time.

Something silly that comes to my mind is that the deposit is a mechanism for the pro to have some insurance against flaking, but what's the insurance for the client? I never flake but people flake on me all the time. Maybe I should start asking for deposits...

HollyGo_Lightly

Cuddlerforu24 why wouldn't you think that we prep before each cuddle session. I have dedicated cuddle pajamas, a weighted blanket with Duvet cover. I was super hygenic before, now even more so. I purchased several more duvet covers for the blanket. I make sure that I have a fresh manicure and pedicure prior to the cuddle. I have candles for those who like it, soothing lotion for sore muscles. I invest time, resources, out of pocket fees like any other business. For those who do not cuddle from their home, renting space in a doctor's office, a cuddle campus, or Airbnb. Those are all investments from the cuddler's pocket. Do to cancellations I sometimes ask for a $25 to $50 deposit depending on the circumstances. For those who want prime cuddle slots or wish to book multiple days in advance ( mostly business travelers who want to sight see, need someone to attend a function while they are here in town, and then perhaps want a traditional platonic cuddle I do ask for a $100 deposit). I accept it in a platform that makes them feel safe, such as PayPal, so that the service is covered by buyers protection on both ends. If after explaining why they decline but still wish to cuddle, I do make it clear that their time slot is NOT guaranteed. Now I do not ask each and every cuddle client for a deposit. Sometimes you get a feeling about people. Most people are accommodating and respectful. The time wasters generally disappear. 😊

cuddlerforu24

@HollyGo_Lightly .... I see that you do not ask every client for a deposit , that is very judicious. And I agree that for a business traveler , having a cuddler for a function is deposit worthy ..... something I’m not a consumer of ... not something exactly what the site is about .

ubergigglefritz

@cuddlerforu24 I agree and try my best to hold everyone to the same rules and opportunities for discounts. Some pros say they charge people different rates too (outside of financial need sliding scales, which are different). But this is my business and not just a side gig. I also find it easier to just have flat out rules, with no judgment. People are less likely to try to negotiate if it just is what it is. "To be fair to my other clients..." That tells people I'm protecting and being fair to them in the same way. 🤷‍♀️

xandriarain

@HollyGo_Lightly last night I agreed to take a pretty last minute session for today and had to get up early for it despite getting home from another session really late last night. I had to get up early and shower and get ready for the session as I was in the shower my client texted me that he was a bit tired and had a headache and didn’t want to take any chances. It’s beyond frustrating when people flake last minute especially once I’ve gotten out of bed and started to get ready. It usually takes me a solid hour to get ready for a session.

hugonehugall

@xandriarain I have no issue with a fair deposit amount. Luckily I’ve never been scammed and I’m careful about who I just send money to online. But there are cuddlers asking for 75% or more of the cuddling fee upfront which would give a rational person pause of course. And what happens with the deposit if the cuddler cancels and there can be no agreed upon reschedule date ? @HollyGo_Lightly a $100 seems like a little much and ultimately how do you decide who pays what if anything upfront without seeming like you’re profiling in a negative way ? Again I’m not anti deposit just a fair process that protects both parties interests

xandriarain

@hugonehugall after being robbed last week I finally decided to start asking for deposits and my policy is that if I need to cancel I will issue a refund. I will not spend the money sent to me until after the session. I rarely cancel on clients and when I do I almost always offer a discount for the future especially if it’s last minute.

hugonehugall

@xandriarain sorry that happened to you. Hopefully I didn’t come off as combative I was more just curious.

Sashamcgee

I understand not everyone can host (like me right now) so I totally get it. BUUUT I will say that, that is probably your largest obstacle to booking sessions and also one of the biggest causes of pain when there is a cancellation.

I literally only had 3 sessions not in my home when I was a pro. And two of those were because i travelled to NYC.

Anywhosers, I hope your new policy helps and ismt detrimental!

Cuddle_sadies5

Ive been in the cuddling community alittle while and have experienced cuddlers who unfortunately flake from time to time. And for that reason i do require deposits most of the time now. I do it FT as well so having someone flake on you can hurt you financially but myself..i try to give everyone full faith and a fair chance with booking. If i am not driving from my town or small surrounding towns and if its an hour i wont charge but if the cuddlers wants me to travel i do require a flat rate of 50$ deposit toward session. If i have to cancel i always issue a refund.

If youre doing this FT and doing well thus far i think you'd still do well. And with the good reputable karmas and client establishments you have, they will respect your guidelines babe💓

Good luck; wish you well🌹✨

xandriarain

@Sashamcgee I agree that not hosting had been a huge obstacle especially with this pandemic, its really reduced the number of people looking to cuddle. I have been trying to get a place to host but keep having things fall through. The plan is to move out of my apartment and find a house to rent this spring but there are a lot of things that need to go right for that to work out.

Sashamcgee

@xandriarain I totally understand and I wish you the best of luck! I do think if you're able to host it'll exponentially increase your potential income. Xoxo

Morpheus

I wouldn’t have an issue paying a deposit although in 5 years on this site, I’ve never been asked for 1.

Kiki_Crackin

I added this new rule to my profile today after getting PLAYED.
This guy wasted a good 4-5 hours of my day & I turned down, other I believe to be more credible. Read the Karma I left him below:

I am currently waiting for him in the parking lot of the Upon location. I drove 50 miles out here and he stood me up. There's been many hookers and pimps driving in-and-out of this parking lot.S left me feeling I eevee as if I was in an unsafe situation. Would not recommend. Oh & BTW, He texted me while I was on the way to inform me he would be cuddling in his boxers.

I am new to site & not sure if the other 2 previous Karmas are real. I will admit, He may have seen my BF with me & got scared. But my BF has attended all my cuddle sessions so far as added protection.
Either way, wasted a good 4-5 hours of my day! =😑😒😡

If it was the case of he was spoofed by my BF, It leads me to believe he was up to something Creepy.

Kiki.

END KARMA.

I do not have Iphone & so I cannot send a location, but I am asking anyone that I may have to drive further than 30 mins to agree to 50% deposit. I will send a screen shot of my location at the halfway point to the agreed location, I hope this will keep the trust factor up.

I have only considered this for people that I am going far for. Because I am losing time & money to meet up with them.

CuddleBunny212

I have not had any issues with no shows, but with that said, I think asking for a deposit is a good idea.

Other cuddle websites require a deposit, so I don't think it should be an issue.

Morpheus

@Kiki_Crackin did you inform him that your boyfriend would be with you? I would actually find it creepy if i showed up to meet a pro and she was with someone and didn’t let me know ahead of time that he would be there.

hugonehugall

@Morpheus 100% agree on that point I never have an issue if someone else is in the house if we have a session but it’s always fair to give a heads up to your partner/ client before they get there.

ubergigglefritz

@Kiki_Crackin how do you mean "attended" your cuddle sessions? Where is he while you're cuddling? 🤔

cuddlerforu24

A scheduled professional cuddling session .. “subject to approval” by a third party , SO, or relative ..... I would want this disclosed also .