Aegism in Cuddling

Thoughts?

docgatorb

yes

no

maybe

How very erudite, Thanks.

Food please

How about cake?

willmott2k10

Is it bad I had to look up what erudite means? :P Haha well, depends what you means by ageism, I mean is it ageist that most people on here prefer to meet people who are close to their own age so won't give anyone else a chance? I wouldn't say it is, I feel it's kind of natural, I'm 22 now and the idea of meeting a total stranger, say, 30 years older than me, for cuddles, as bad as this sounds it just sounds wrong to me, the whole age is just a number thing doesn't make it any more appealing to me. That said, I am open to meeting women a bit older than me, say, mid-30s, if they're up for that but that's just me and I still have my limits.

Paynecakeznbaco

I don't really care about age when cuddling

@Willmott2k10 , no it is not ageist to want to meet people in your own age group; I think it is pretty normal and the default for people to look for similarities, be it age, race, sex,  (opposite sex for many men in this case) political or social similarities etc. It is the tribal aspect of the human makeup.

It is a wise  person who has the capacity to see others as individuals and not as a piece that fits into a group that satisfies one's requirements. I have come to realize that going through life as though one were in a candy store and grabbing at what seems the best wrapped, most delicious candies has a way of delivering disappointing sweets...lol.

 I  personally prefer to actually interact and assess the individual myself. People are a bundle of experiences and attitudes among other things, and you never know what you are going to find under the exterior. 

Having said that I have noticed some preferences in myself, and realize that while I am under no obligation to step outside of those preferences, if the person is not juvenile/immature/self involved, and seems to have some depth and awareness to them, it is to both of our advantages to explore that. Otherwise, honestly I feel like I am cuddling a child, and I would prefer an actual child if that is the experience I am going for! Children are great! They are (in general) not full of adult prejudices and life quirks.  I have no desire to interact with immature "adult" mentalities myself, although that can be a person in their twenties or a person in their eighties.

Thanks for a thoughtful answer @willmott2k10.

If I already know the person and consider them a friend, age is no issue to me - one of my very close friends is 51, and I'd be more than happy to cuddle her. However, if the person is a stranger I meet online, I generally prefer not to have more than a 15 year age difference above my age (25) - because I would feel a bit more vulnerable, and may sense a feeling of a power imbalance. Having said that, I would take it on a case by case basis and if I really got on well with the person, I'd probably consider cuddling with them.

Ageism in cuddling isn't the only form of 'discrimination' that exists, it is just one of many. And in this context I do not attach any negative connotations to the word 'discrimination', because we must all discriminate or we'd end up cuddling with literally everybody who asked. On some basis, we must discriminate.

As @Arielle and @Sunflowerfield have pointed out, there may be perfectly valid reasons to want to cuddle with people in your own age group.

I don't think any category in society can really claim the moral high ground in this respect. Sure, older generations may not have an easy time finding someone half their age to cuddle (for whatever reason they would want this, I'm not sure) but as a trans person, I am quite used to encountering more transphobia from older generations (not exclusively), and so the same demographics that claim to be discriminated against are also guilty of discriminating. Not passing judgement one way or another, it's just the way it is.

docgatorb

Basically, we all categorize people based on specific traits. We also have a belief system where we group traits and therefore think that people in certain categories have the traits of that category. So in the end we make assumptions about people rather than learning about them individually. The downside of this is that it can severely limit our experiences with other people. Cuddles, hugs and touch in general are one of the more primal traits of humans. If we chose to relate to people through this activity, we will find that it is not the exclusive trait of any category of people. It is a common ground that allows you to relate to people of all walks of life. You can criticize any categorization other than the categorizing of people as human as something that runs contrary to goals of cuddling. We each choose the path that we walk down.