Site suggestion to facilitate pros and clients finding each other

I think it would be useful to everyone to have another profile option to show preferences for/against solicitation from professionals and make that a filter option for pros in the search engine. Similar to the guest/host/public options.

Being able to mark oneself as open to solicitation could make it easier for potential clients to connect with an active professional cuddler. The only cuddle I've ever had through this site originated from a professional sending me a message stating that she'd be passing through my area and asking if I'd like to set up a cuddle when we'd had no previous communication. I can't find it now, but I believe I've recently read that that kind of solicitation is actually against the rules. (That pro has since been banned, but I don't know what for.) I'm glad I got that message, though, since cuddles are what I'm here for and that's the only one I've gotten in the four years I've been here.

Most potential clients are likely unskilled at advertising themselves, which is (at least part of) why they need to seek a professional cuddler. That burden of self-advertisement is quite tiring for those who always fail at it, and having the roles reversed can be quite refreshing. It can help those who feel unwanted to feel like they have some value even if it's monetary. Sending out message after message looking for enthusiasts and/or pros who are responsive is a lot of discouraging work for usually no gain. They may not be skilled enough to spark an interest in themselves, the people they message may be inactive, or the people they message may already be too busy to respond to additional messages. Receiving offers may be exactly what they want instead of more fruitless searching.

For professionals, being able to easily filter for those who are open to solicitation would make it easier to find clients. Not all potential clients will keep an eye on the Professional Cuddling forum looking for advertisement. (I know I never do since the chances of seeing a local one is so minuscule.) And not all potential clients have the confidence or mental/emotional energy remaining to reach out to pros. So giving pros allowance to directly search for and message people who have already expressed their openness towards communications from pros would increase their chances of finding clients when needed. If someone chooses to mark themselves as open to professionals, they're more likely to be responsive to the pros who want to reach out for clients without wasting a huge amount of time.

To allow for people's varying attitudes towards pro cuddlers, I suggest something more than a "allow solicitation from pros" checkbox. A drop-down list of three options with #1 being the default:
1. No communication from pros
2. Only friendly communication from pros (no solicitation)
3. Open to solicitation from pros

Comments

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)
    edited December 2020

    Honestly I don't understand the point. Your description sounds like a very different cuddle market from the one that actually exists - it sounds like there are many hundreds of both pros and clients, and clients are competing for attention from pros.

    There are two pros near you. Message both of them. It'll take less than 10 minutes. Occasionally check the site to see if there's anyone new. Wouldn't that be a lot less time consuming and stressful than sitting around trying to appeal to cuddlers and desperately hoping they message you?

    Forget messaging enthusiasts. For most people that's just a path to frustration. (There aren't any near you anyway.)

    One suggestion: On your profile, cut out the talk about your ex, your singular cuddle experience, and your weird problem with friend requests. It's all really weird and is going to turn women away.

    Any time I was near my beloved in the past, I had to spend the whole time wrestling my desire for her, which took a lot of energy and focus as it felt like I was wrestling a dragon that had boundless strength. With a stranger, the sleeping dragon never stirred...

    I'm a man and I find this creepy. I can't imagine what women would think reading this. Why in the world do you think this is what you should say in your cuddle profile?

  • edited December 2020

    My experience with my ex is why I'm here. That's an important part of who I am. If talking about that will make someone uncomfortable, it's better they see it in my profile so they can avoid me. We wouldn't be a good match. That's part of the point of a profile: attract good matches and repel bad matches for their sake and my own.

    As for my problem with friend requests, it's an actual problem whether it's weird or not. I request people avoid doing something that hurts me. That is not weird at all, even if the sensitivity is. If it turns someone away, okay. Again, we wouldn't have meshed.

    And the part about how much of a relief it is to be able to cuddle without having to fight desire was already being cut out of my profile while you were replying. Though I have had positive feedback about it, I've never been happy with it. It didn't quite say what I wanted it to. It's been replaced with more of why I'm here. I just mentioned to someone a few days ago that my profile was due for a refresh, and I finally got around to it.

    But this post isn't meant to be about me or my profile; it wasn't meant to make it easier for me to find a cuddler. It was an idea that came from reading other people's posts (both pros and non-pros) on the forum. It's a small suggestion to give a small benefit. Some pros need more clients and advertise. This would make direct advertisement possible without it being intrusive. And some people do have a hard time even working up the courage to message someone. You're obviously not that kind of person, so you probably can't understand how difficult it can be. Through much pain and effort I've worked past that, myself, but many people haven't yet. This could make things a little easier for them in some cases without inconveniencing anyone else in any way.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    That's an important part of who I am. If talking about that will make someone uncomfortable...

    Not everything that's important to you has to come up right away. Ever hear the common advice to not talk about your ex on the first date? It's not because you're expected to hide your past from this person forever. It's because it's not a good way to connect with someone you don't really know yet. But, if this is the way you want to go, so be it.

    And some people do have a hard time even working up the courage to message someone.

    OK. It's hard for me to imagine someone being scared to message but are fine actually meeting in person and cuddling. But hey, maybe such people exist.

  • It would probably help me a little bit to reach out to the shy guys if their profile said “yes to pros”. I used to message people just to have a chat. I had zero intentions of pushing for bookings but because my status is pro, some end up messaging me back rudely, saying “don’t even try to act nice to me. I know you only want money” and then I get blocked. 😩 just because I’m a pro, doesn’t mean I don’t like to chat. Damn.... and as a rule, I never put out messages that push to book. I just think it’s incredibly rude. So to see something on a profile that says “hey, pros, I’m interested@ or even “hey, I don’t want to book you but I’m down to chat” would make it easier for me ☺️

    I’ve actually received plenty of cuddlers by me just putting myself out there just to talk with them. They would say how nervous they were to send a first message and now some of them book me for sessions, so it happens quite frequently that people are too shy to dip their foot in until someone invites them in 😀

  • To allow for people's varying attitudes towards pro cuddlers, I suggest something more than a "allow solicitation from pros" checkbox. A drop-down list of three options with #1 being the default:
    1. No communication from pros
    2. Only friendly communication from pros (no solicitation)
    3. Open to solicitation from pros

    I actually think this would be a great idea - I would find it very helpful myself. I don't like to impose too much, but would be happy to reach out if I knew it was welcome.

  • edited December 2020

    I agree completely. A lot of people don't want to be messaged by pros, but I have definitely had clients I reached out to who said they were really thankful for it. I think this would be very helpful for everyone. I have actually completely stopped cold messaging people, because most people don't seem to want it and it takes a LOT of time. =( If I could do a quick search to see if anyone WANTS to be messaged, I would be happy to do so (as I really understand why people don't message pros). It's a parallel problem of potential clients. Many probably get tired of messaging pros and never receiving a response, for example. This would make it easy for people who WANT to find a pro to connect with pros who WANT to find new clients. On the flipside, it would reduce the amount of unwanted messages people get from pros, which contributes to the general grumpy environment here sometimes, LOL. =) Win-win.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    it would reduce the amount of unwanted messages people get from pros, which contributes to the general grumpy environment here sometimes

    FWIW, I get one unsolicited message from a pro about every 6 weeks on average so at least in my experience this is not a major problem. :)

  • @CuddleMeLater well that one every six weeks pisses some people off. 😆 But really though, for some it's definitely more I'm sure, some it's less. I just like the ability for people to be able to choose. It would increase satisfaction on the site for both groups. 👍

  • edited December 2020

    Eh any message is an opportunity to make a connection . When I first joined in 2016 I got an unsolicited message from a pro. She now is counted among my dearest of friends Iand I just spent a week visiting her in MD. I have made connections with quite a few pros and non pros alike who have reached out to me . I I really dont see the fuss in a message.....

  • @pmvines well then you would choose one of the options inviting messages, lol. The fact is that there are people who do NOT want to be messaged, and inviting them to be able to make that selection makes connections with people who DO want messages all the easier. 😊

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