Please tell one person that you cuddle

CuddleDuncan

We all know that there aren't enough cuddlers out there. And that is because most people do not know about it. It's up to us to spread the word: nobody is going to do it for us.

So if you have told lots of people that you cuddle, please tell one more. Just one.

And if you've never told anyone, please choose one person and tell them. It might be somebody you are close to, with whom you gave a strong relationship that is certain to survive such news, whatever their reaction. It might be somebody you barely know: a nodding acquaintance at the gym. The person next to you (does 2m still count as 'next?) in the coffee queue. Anyone.

We know that the response is more commonly positive than negative, and we know that negative responses are frequently to do with the issues of the person being informed and have nothing to do with cuddling itself.

Post your stories, good or bad, in this thread. Good luck!

CuddleDuncan

OK I'll start. I thought I had told my sister, but it turned out I hadn't.

At first she didn't really get it. It does usually take a minute or two. But eventually she said - and I quote - 'But this is marvellous! I'm going to tell everybody!'

Now, I don't actually believe that she'll tell everybody, I think she was just being supportive. But she has the capacity to be a little judgemental when the mood takes her so I was relieved that she was so positive.

One down, only 7.5billion to go ....

(Oh come on, it won't kill you to tell one person! 🙂)

quixotic_life

For those not wanting to be direct, perhaps someone could post article links for others (or they could use the CC url) to copy/paste into their Facebook (or whatever) with a, "Huh..? Platonic cuddles? That sounds nice..." type of message...

LyleLuvsHuggles

Hmmm guess it wouldn't kill me to FB it I doubt it will over shock most people who know me since I'm already known to be a cuddle junkie lol

Please don't be scared to tell people, I think it should be normalized because a lot people can benefit from these type of positive safe platonic psychical relationships. I am new to the site but not new to the cuddle community and I actually learned about it when I started college two years ago from a girl in my class and I was very interested and have had some great experienced since. I tell people all the time not really family because mine is very judgmental but I tell a lot of acquaintances and like CuddleDuncan said the response after a deeper explanation is usually very positive. I told a tutor/friend who had a social disability and deformity due to an accident and was so starved of physical connection that he was in a deep depression and he told me later on that after this really changed his life perspective on people in general. I know every experience is not usually this deep but you never know so don't be afraid to share, sometimes its more meaningful then just for comfort.

BrianL

I could tell people, but then I'd be lying. I haven't cuddled in years.

LyleLuvsHuggles

Challenge accepted one public FB share completes. 🙂

Update: as expected no one who KNOWS me is surprised in the least lol

CuddleDuncan

Great job, @NightShift39!

@BrianL tell people that you've discovered this marvellous thing called cuddling, and you are looking into it.

pmvines

Or dont . Just do whatever you feel comfortable doing .

xelda

@BrianL How about doing it in a way that doesn't lie? Maybe "hey, I ran across this site... anyone do this? Anyone want to do this?" depending on how brave you feel, it might even be "anyone want to try this with me?"

TheFunCartel

@pmvines You hit the spoon (CC style cliche) right on the head. I will say something to somebody if comes up naturally, if I can trust them and if I want to. Otherwise it can come off as cultish proselytizing. Some people may feel comfortable doing that but I don’t. I am not on here to be told to sell the idea to someone.

pmvines

@FunCartel I can think of quite a few people who have zero desire to listen to me tell them about my personal life. Just because I may enjoy something doesnt mean others need to hear about it. It all seems a bit exhibitionist/voyeuristic when people talk unsolicited and without context about intimate details of their personal lives

CuddleDuncan

@pmvines well, don't tell those people. Why are you even saying something like that in this thread? Don't you want more female cuddlers on this site?

@FunCartel

I am not on here to be told to sell the idea to someone.

You're an experienced member, you shouldn't need to be told. You should be doing it anyway.

Cuddling is tiny. Half the problems we discuss on these forums would either go away or could be dealt with easily if we simply had ten times as many active members, with a modest improvement in the male /female ratio.

The essence of cuddling is care. Caring for somebody who needs a cuddle. The trade of course is that they care for you because you need a cuddle too. Half the people on this site can't get a cuddle because our community is not yet big enough. Millions more can't get a cuddle because they don't know we exist.

Not everybody can spread the word, for all kinds of reasons. And that's ok. But those who can, should. If you are against that, against bringing a cuddle to more people who need one ... then why are you here?

The pair of you should be ashamed of yourselves. This thread was a small effort to encourage cuddlers to tell one - just one - person. The one person it would be easiest to tell. Yet you feel the need to wade in with buckets of negativity.

littermate

@CuddleDuncan Please come down off your soapbox and lighten up on telling people what they should be doing.

TheFunCartel

@CuddleDuncan Just because someone disagrees does not mean it is negative, unless this has become a fascist board. Just because you think it doesn’t make it right, nor does it make it wrong necessarily. But you seem to be dictatorial and rigid in how you view different viewpoints on this. It comes across as bullying. You should be ashamed.

CuddleDuncan

@littermate

@CuddleDuncan Please come down off your soapbox and lighten up on telling people what they should be doing.

No.

For a start, I'm not doing any telling: I am merely inviting or encouraging. Secondly, the thing I'm trying to make happen is more cuddling. Are you against that?

@FunCartel

If you are disagreeing with me, then you are against having more people in the cuddle community.

Your previous post was not negative because you disagreed: in fact at the start of it you agreed with me. In fact, the first part of it was brilliant, I was delighted to read it. But then you characterised

And if you've never told anyone, please choose one person and tell them. It might be somebody you are close to, with whom you gave a strong relationship that is certain to survive such news, whatever their reaction. It might be somebody you barely know: a nodding acquaintance at the gym. The person next to you (does 2m still count as 'next?) in the coffee queue. Anyone.

as

cultish proselytizing.

That's the negative part.

TheFunCartel

@CuddleDuncan I did not characterize it as such. Please read. I said “it can come off” that way. That is a possibility, but you seem to have tunnel vision and are ready to pounce on any perceived slight to your cuddle world view.

And

The pair of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Is very condescending and smug. @littermate is right. If you don’t see it that way, then perhaps that soapbox is a smidge too high and the air too thin. I’m done. I am more convinced than ever that I will not be telling anyone based on your encouragement skills. I disagreed with you in a post not even directed at you and your response was to act like Mother Superior.

On another note—there are a lot of people on this site that have serious social anxiety. Before you bark and bite please consider that. I know of at least six people on this site that see therapists for it. Asking them to tell people is way outside their comfort zone and shaming them and guilting them because you want to be the Cuddle Comfort Abby Hoffman doesn’t help.

pmvines

Oh brother.....

CuddleDuncan

@FunCartel

I know of at least six people on this site that see therapists for it.

Make that seven, I'm one of them. Cuddling is really helping.

And if somebody tells somebody they cuddle in spite of me, not because of me, I'm still happy.

pmvines

@CuddleDuncan I realize you are gung ho on cuddling. It is your new found favorite thing and you want everyone to share your enthusiasm. I get it I have said it before ro you and I will say it again. . The lecture ahd dissertation is not necessary . Have a good day and I wish you well.

TheFunCartel

@pmvines Well said and more tactful than I care to be at the moment. Kudos.

_marC

I have encouraged 4 people to join 🍾

CuddleDuncan

Thanks @pmvines, you and @FunCartel likewise.

It is your new found favorite thing

I appreciate that it probably looks like that, but actually it is not - it's been well over 30 years. In the modern era I was cuddling for a couple of years before I found Cuddle Comfort.

Edit: @craM

Sashamcgee

@craM you're the real MVP 🍾🍾

pmvines

@CuddleDuncan you are entitled to say what you want it is fine and I may disagree and that is also fine . Once you make a thread it is public property. Just understand that I have been on here a long time and have made a lot of connections. Please dont try to tell me what I think about cuddling and this community.

You are looking kind of pushy, @CuddleDuncan.

I read "if you've never told anyone, please choose one person and tell them" as a simple request, but then it gets weird.

"Oh, come on, it won't kill you to tell one person."
"Tell people that you've discovered this marvellous thing called cuddling, and you are looking into it."
"You're an experienced member, you shouldn't need to be told [to sell the idea of cuddling to someone]. You should be doing it anyway."

It's one thing to say "not everyone can spread the word, for all kinds of reasons." It's another to say that after you've set the bar for ability at "it won't kill you." And then to make it a thing certain people should be doing—uh. What price a moral imperative?

I'm gonna assume you didn't mean to do that. But yeah... it does come off as really, really pushy.

FlyingToaster

@CuddleDuncan

Not everybody can spread the word, for all kinds of reasons. And that's ok. But those who can, should. If you are against that, against bringing a cuddle to more people who need one ... then why are you here?

That sounds somewhat similar to what a religious evangelist might say about their religion or prophet.. "..bringing a cuddle to more people who need one..." I'm all for sharing a good thing, and if it comes up in conversation or I feel like someone would be receptive or like to know, I might mention it. But I also tend to think that not everyone is interested in hearing what I do in my own time, especially if it's unsolicited.