@BotWithFeelings I can honestly say several of my "cuddleships" have been deeper and more intimate and meaningful than many of my actual romantic relationships.
I am aware I seem to be in the minority here, but I actually have a hard time understanding why people think this should take LESS effort than finding a date. I look at my cuddle mates as friends and let's face it, most friendships far outlast most relationships. I was with my ex wife nearly half my life and I STILL have friends I've been with over a DECADE longer.
We are all, men and women, in positions where being on a cuddle website could damage our positions, social standings, relationships with our children, parents, family, and friends. I don’t know why men think it is their prerogative to hide in the dark shadows.
I remember when Bumble first came out years ago I thought it was a potentially revolutionary way to do dating apps. But in practice it doesn't seem to have changed much, at least as far as men see it. Men seem to find it just as frustrating if not worse than Tinder.
I think the problem is that you just can't change people's core behaviors. 95% of women very strongly prefer to be completely passive when it comes to dating and initiating contact. Putting them on an app where men can't initiate contact won't change that. Either the same 5% of men that would have succeeded on Tinder will get all the messages, or women will just send lots of "hi" messages and once they get replies then decide whether they actually want to engage with this person.
@ChibiShema actually no we're not ALL in positions where being on this site could damage us. My bosses could care less what I do in my free time as long as I can still turn a wrench come Monday night. Of course even if they did I've never been one to care what people think of my lifestyle anyways.
And obviously the pro's don't think they are in any such position or they wouldn't BE pro's. One should be careful with blanket statements like that, or gross generalizations in general really.
Cuddlemelater, that is just simply not true. Women may be passive with you. Women may not want to date you or message you. But women can be aggressive. Have you looked on Instagram or on the comment section of TikTok? Holy crap, these women are going out of their way to shoot their shot. When a woman wants something she will let you know.
Secondly, women are every bit as frustrated with dating as men are. And with that being said, I consistently see women complain here in the forum about the treatment they received from men in messaging, in actual cuddling, and in the forum itself. I also see female profiles show up and then get deleted or turned professional. Sometimes the women show up with this grand idea that they will be held and be made to feel important. And hope that they can return that kindness. And they last here a month or two on the cuddle website and then leave in pure frustration. Women are signing up to this website. They just don’t stay.
@ChibiShema
I don’t know why men think it is their prerogative to hide in the dark shadows.
It's very strange for you to take this stand and so strongly push for the idea that people shouldn't be anonymous here, that everyone should have photos and an extensive profile... when you are anonymous, have no photos, and have a completely empty profile.
So why do most of the women to post photos
Well, a lot of them don't. But also, very few or zero women see pros. As I said, IMO the main stigma here comes from paying for cuddles. I wouldn't care much if people knew I had a cuddle buddy or was looking for one. But I would feel very weird if people knew I paid for cuddles.
I was very public here for a very long time. I decided to hide after the harsh treatment I received from this forum.
People don’t need to know if you pay for cuddles or not. That is private information. The only thing that is public is your picture and your profile and that you were on a cuddle website. You could strictly see enthusiast or you could just be here to chat. Why would anyone know that you’re paying?
I was very public here for a very long time.
Really? Just a week ago you were posting questions that made it sound like you were completely new to the site and didn't understand how it worked.
In fact, on Dec 18 you posted this:
Why do we need a photo anyway?
I also thought Bumble might transform online dating, and it manifestly hasn't. It has probably been the most successful site for me, although not by a big margin and that's not saying much anyway.
Messages are few and far between, obviously, and yes two thirds of them are 'hi'. Once the messaging has started, I notice no distinction.
How relevant all this is for a cuddling site is of course another question.
Asking a question isn’t only for purposes of receiving an answer
Regarding the question of public photos:
Quite. It is also the case that anybody seeing the photo must be on the cuddling website themselves.
@ChibiShema @CuddleDuncan
Why would anyone know that you’re paying?
Karma left by pros. Karma reveals a lot about one's private experiences.
Ask them not to leave karma. I personally don’t like the idea of karma. But I understand that some people find it helpful. I prefer to take the time to get to know someone before a cuddle
But I want karma. Karma is an important part of using this site.
Karma is good in my opinion. But if somebody has read it and understood it that means they have been spending some time on the site. Which means that they won't find the idea of paying for cuddles strange .... in fact they will be asking you for tips or advice.
It is a sad world that we live in. The distrust of men is high.
I think if you gag people from contacting certain people or get rid of karma you are gutting the key components of what makes this site unique from other sites. I see these suggestions as condescending to women when you take away the inability to contact non-pros. The women are grown adults and know more about what they are looking for than any of you guys do and why should it be on them to do all the contacting? Every woman is different and they know how to block, report and leave karma on men they encounter all by themselves without guys telling them what to do. And if women are leaving already because of aggressive guys guess what they are going to do with the guys they contact that are aggressive? Moreover, there are women on here just like some of the guys on here who are socially awkward and shy—you think they are going to reach out?
Seems to be a lot of overreaching and mansplaining on this thread and quite frankly, if you want it fixed it is the women that need to provide guidance—not the supposedly “woke” guys or “not woke guys”. I want to hear from women.
I do too
But Apparently our behavior here is so disgusting that the women leave or become professionals
@FunCartel I recently read a forum post initiated by a female. You chose to call her misanthropic when she gave you her ideas on how to fix this website. Do you only want to hear from the females that agree with you?
Becoming professional is one way they handle it. But you say “our behavior”. Are you part of the problem?
Yes
How so? I see this as a personal responsibility issue. I can’t make you stop being a creep. You have to.
Monthly contests, with the prize being a lottery ticket for the chance to win a cuddle. No weapons, no clothes, no quarter—just predetermined times, warehouses on the outskirts of a city or an abandoned office building, and loads of frustrated dudes able to put their discontent into action.
@UltimateChungus Finally! A real solution
I have a very large fenced in back yard and live in the kinda neighborhood where not only will no one call the cops we could turn a profit selling tickets, concessions and betting just saying.
@UltimateChungus
We [men] are all part of the problem, it's only a question of degree.
If you do not understand with bone-chilling clarity why there are almost no women posting in this thread then you are definitely part of the problem.
@ChibiShema suddenly you are my fucking HERO!