I have been a casual friend this a lady I used to work with. A FWOB Friends With Out Benefits We have a coffee get together one a month or less. I would not even call it dating So, How do you ask ?? Thanks in advance
How do you ask what, exactly?
Also: the whole "friends without benefits" thing is lame and demeaning.
Hi Hawker,
did you see this thread? some decent advice being given out there on the same subject: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/9585#
I thought is was straight forward. I guess not. How do you ask if she would like to be a cuddle buddy ?
Hello sunnysideup Thank you for the reply. YES I read the link. This one is a just little different. She has been my rare coffee buddy for fours years, She is a VERY good friend.Not just an acquaintance. I do not want to ruin what we have.
Hey hawker69, @xelda definitely gave us the blueprint so I’m gonna copy - paste it I think it is really spot on -
“Me: So, I joined this cuddle site. Friend: What's that? Me: Explain about platonic cuddling. Friend: That sounds creepy. Me: Really? I think it's awesome! Talk about why I think it's awesome. Friend # 1: Nope, not for me. I could never do that for reasons. Me: Yeah, I get it. It's a bit of stretch for most people in a culture where we can't imagine closeness without it meaning something more. (Validate, respect the gentle no that she's put out there, but still continue to educate to destroy those stupid stereotypes)
Friend # 2: Huh. That does sound awesome. But... asks all their scary questions. Me: Be clear about what platonic cuddling is, what it means, what it doesn't mean, the benefits. Maybe make a low commitment invitation like: Would you like to try something really safe, like maybe watching TV while I have my arm around you, and you put your head on my shoulder?
Don't go straight to being in bed all sweethearted and pretzelled up. That's pretty intense to start even for those of us who want that.
It's a good idea for you to browse around on this site a bunch. Read faqs, posts, suggestions of all kinds to get solid on your own definitions, wants, willings and no's (ie: how to negotiate cuddles with clear consent). There are so many good resources.”
All in all, if I ever have the courage to do this, i will have two concerns, 1 how would I feel if she says no (would I be hurt about it/ embarrassed for even bringing it up in the 1st place/ & would the relationship be awkward now because if it & 2 do we have mutual friends? Is this something she’s now gonna share with our circle , are people gonna start judging me ect? If you don’t care what others think, & if you don’t mind if she says no, I’d say absolutely go for it & plz share with us how it went & any advice you now have fir us from your 1st person experience.
PERFECT Thank you very much. introvme Sorry for not doing and digging. I like the Friend # 2 approach Will do re browsing this site for info. But as we know most men do not ask for directions (LOL)
Lololol no its cool, no worries I don’t feel you need to look for an answer, this is your personal question & you’re allowed to ask, I just remember reading her response & I felt like wow, I seriously feel confident In asking at least 3 female friends now 😅😂
I usually just ask, but my circle is made up of weird and wonderful people.
The acquiring of one of my best friends was literally started with.... I LIIIIKE YOU LET'S BE FWEEEINNNDS pounce hugs
So yeah not normal lol
@NightShift39 I like your Circle
Me too lol just wish we weren't all so scattered atm.