After my last comment about this out of control mop I got up top, I went and had 5 inches taken off. We're getting along much better now. 😉
I don’t have much hair myself but do enjoy female cuddle buddies hair contact. Sometimes I gently move it out of the way and with consent move my fingers through it!
@FishCuddles ~ Truth be told... That's my preference for "hair taming" ~ I'd much rather my cuddle partner take it on. Having one's hair "tended to"/"put in it's place" feels soooo nice!!
I hate having hair in my way! Last year I finally got up the courage to cut it all off. Now I'm a pixie cut girl for life lol. The freedom is incredible!
Why is tying it up in a ponytail or messy bun not an option?
My hair has always been annoying to me yet men find it beautiful. My husband never wanted me to cut it. And I did not cut it.
After our separation and once he knew that I had begun dating a little, he suggested that I cut it all off. I asked why— his answer was a lie. He stated it was because he knew that it was hot and itchy and took a lot of time to manage.
😏
@Importance ~ For me it's because I just don't like how it feels when cuddling... and... um... reasons.
🤫shhh ~
it's because I secretly want my partner to run their fingers through it a bunch... 💆♀️😉
@quixotic_life same!!! I love it when a man is good at touching my hair. Some are not good— too timid, or something. I’m not sure why it is hard for men to get their fingers down into the scalp and brush through a woman’s hair with only fingers. I love it when they brush my hair also. My ultimate dream would be to spend lots of time with a man who always wanted to touch and style my hair. Do you have any advice for the guys?
And how great does it feel to go to the salon and get a good hair wash with a scalp massages? Amazing!
I have a velvet scrunchy on hand at most times, do it gets pulled pull often. Lol
I move it out of the way and in cuddling, I always offer to tie it up
Haha, I'm a member of the "Hair all up in ya face" club.
Concequences of my cuddles... (Full Disclosure):
☛ My hair is going to be in your face. ☛ Probably end up in your mouth, ticking your neck, possible tangled on something. ☛ I'm not tender headed, so move it out of the way if it gets on your nerves. ☛ It will always smell good! ☛ It's pretty to look at ( depending on whatever color it is a the time) ☛ I'm a 🦁♌ so my mane is like a part of my soul. ☛ I'm a leo - Probably should have lead with that because I really feel like that just explains it all!
@Importance
I’m not sure why it is hard for men to get their fingers down into the scalp and brush through a woman’s hair
I think there are two reasons. Firstly, it's quite intimate and so you might not be sure. Do you really want to get right in there and risk scraping off somebody else's dandruff?
Secondly, there are many people who scream with outrage if you go anywhere near their hair. Can be for personal reasons, can be because they have just had an expensive styling. Once you've been yelled at a few times, and called a pervert or a creep just for nearly touching somebody's hair accidentally, you get cautious. (May be a British experience.)
I absolutely love stroking somebody's head and hair. In fact I was once running my fingers through a girl's hair when she suddenly sat bolt upright. 'Duncan,' she said, 'You don't need a girlfriend. What you need is a cat.'
@CuddleDuncan ~ All that unpleasantness is avoidable with prior conversation and/or getting consent before doing.
There should never be any reason for one to "scream" at their cuddle buddy (unless that's part of a consented dynamic) and there shouldn't be any, "Whoops, got to close to a 'no-go' zone" issues either.
I don't know how others navigate their pre-cuddle conversations, but mine have all been somewhat detailed in the, "What do you like?" and "What do you not like?" disclosures.
That said, I also communicate that my boundaries are really easy to remember. When we're together, if I haven't said, "Yes" to something, it's a "No".
Also... risking "scraping off somebody else's dandruff" isn't a necessary concern. If someone has a dermatitis condition, that makes scritches uncomfortable to give or receive, then (if they've said 'yes' to scalp touch) avoid direct fingernail use and only use finger tips/pads. Again, it's about communication and respecting comfort levels. Running fingers through hair, scalp massage and head scritches are not all the same thing.
~ TLDR ~ Silence isn't consent. Just like with everything else, each change in degree or way of touching, should be asked/checked in about. (until they tell you otherwise)
And I'm sorry if I'm coming off as preachy or condescending. As a huge fan of all kinds of "hair play", your post struck a nerve. I've tried editing, to be gentle with you and helpful in the discussion, but am still feeling irked and know I may have missed some residual 😤 feelings.
@Importance ~ Communication and showing/demonstrating what you want are always going to be your best bet.
I've said, "Could you try doing ____ too?" and "Hrm... almost." and have offered hand over hand to show him. I've said, "Here, I'll show you" then, on myself, I do what it is I'm wanting done. And I've also asked, "Can I show you on you?" (of course that can be a slight challenge if he doesn't have hair ~ lol).
Of course, to start with, make sure you're with a buddy who's into playing with hair. 😉
I'm really sorry @quixotic_life, I wasn't clear. None of that stuff is related to cuddling, I'm talking about formative years. Teenagehood, early twenties. Long, long time ago. Moving your arm along the back of the couch to get a more comfortable position, from not touching hair to still not touching hair, and being screeched at. It wasn't me, it was everybody. I, and all the boys around me, were taught by girls that hair must never, ever be touched under any circumstances whatsover. It was many years before I discovered that that's not true.
I'm happy to say nobody has ever screamed at me in a cuddle session. I always explicitly ask permission before touching hair* for the first time, and always interpret silence or indecision as a hard and final 'no'.
*Except once, where I was feeling so relaxed and comfortable that I moved without asking ... and half a second later I realised what I'd done and my hand came off the hair like it was lava. It was fine.
@quixotic_life Happy that you like hair play and have a very open mind. 2 or more mature adults that are respectful/consenting can handle this without going to far!
@FishCuddles ~ Lol ~ Idk that my mind is "very" open but..... wait...! There's a "too far"? Oh my... Maybe it is "very" open... 😳
I'm just going to go sit back down and be quiet now... 🙇♀️
@quixotic_life lol well everyone has their own comfort levels with things so yes there can be a too far with hair play for some. @CuddleDuncan lol I've been told similar things, particularly right after I first went from long hair to short and could no longer play with my own hair lmao