Arousal while cuddling: a deal breaker?

DinosaurCuddlesDinosaurCuddles
in General

Hello all,

I would like to get a general opinion. I don't know how common it is, but I usually get aroused during a cuddle session. Of course, I do not expect anything to come of it. Honesty is the best policy, in my mind, so I make it absolutely clear to the other person that I do not have sexual intentions. It's simply a physiological response.

My questions to you all are thus:
How do you address situations like these?
How would you prefer a cuddle partner to address it?
Would arousal be an immediate stop for any of you?

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    Most people who completed middle school sex ed and / or experienced puberty know that it is a physiological response .

    And there we have my contribution to boner thread number 239

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    It's not at all rare, and it's not a deal breaker. Any experienced professional cuddler is likely to have met the situation before. There are a couple of threads about this I think, have a search.

    Some people put a cushion over the affected area. You can adopt, avoid, or adjust particular positions to help reduce the chance of it happening, or it affecting the other person.

    If it happens you should definitely address it openly. Probably best to mention at the start of the session that it's a possibility. There is, sadly, a particular type of creep who does this deliberately and you don't want to be mistaken for one of those. My first professional cuddler, when I asked about this, said something like, "It's not a big deal. We just work together to make sure it doesn't become a focus of the session."

    I know a cudder who reports that she has a cuddle buddy who has an erection more or less the whole time. He uses a cushion, and it doesn't bother either of them.

  • cuddleversedcuddleversed

    I think is time we started a counter every time one of this threads pop up, pun intended 😁

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    As a woman and a pro cuddler, I can confirm that it is normal and natural and relatively common during sessions. I generally don’t react unless I can sense that my partner feels uncomfortable, at which point I might ask if he wants a break. Many woman will simply change positions to let the man adjust without drawing attention to the situation. I don’t think men should feel a bit self-conscious about it. Bodies do what bodies do.

    From my understanding, though, adding a cushion or pillow is often a gentle way to thwart a person who may be creating excessive friction (whether consciously or unconsciously), so if one is offered, take the hint.

  • DinosaurCuddlesDinosaurCuddles

    Well darn, here I thought I was being mindful and considerate. Turns out everyone's heard this question a thousand times! 😂

  • [Deleted User]sage_wisdom (deleted user)

    its better that we all stay informed no matter what the situation is.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera
    edited January 2021

    Thank you, @sage_wisdom! I agree, there is no need to shame someone for asking a question that has been asked before. @DinosaurCuddles, pay no attention to these guys... You are being thoughtful and considerate. The fact that it is a common question means that it is a common concern!

  • Mike403Mike403

    @pmvines even counts how many boner threads come up.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited January 2021

    Not shaming at all it's just entertaining and harmless humor . I'm sure OP is fine but if he is not I will happily apologize

  • ElleCuddleMiElleCuddleMi

    In my case when that happens I switch positions or really get weird and talk about his mom...lol jk... but seriously it's very normal and somewhat flattering I guess. I never ever talk about it but rather deflect in conversation. Most of my clients really , they say sorry or giggle.
    It may be uncomfortable for him so sometimes I just leave to go get a drink or go to the bathroom. By the time I get back all is good under the hood 😇

  • [Deleted User]verona (deleted user)
    edited January 2021

    This is only my second boner thread and I will say boners are a gift lol not a deal breaker at all just because mr winky wants to say hi isn’t the end of the world it’s just what the owner does next. I would say just don’t try to start a light saber battle or use it as a battering ram and all will be good with the word.

  • [Deleted User]DrCuddleBug (deleted user)

    So, are you all saying only men get aroused while cuddling? Where's the equality?

  • pmvinespmvines

    In all seriousness you are asking if that is a deal breaker to a wide general audience, but not everyone is the same so instead of asking others opinions, ask the one you are with and have the conversation before hand. Dont be creepy about it either like you are trying to gauge their level of permissiveness or looking for an excuse to talk about your penis to segue into other things . If you are asking a genuine question out of concern then ask the one you are with . Our opinions dont matter unless we are the ones you are planning to be around .

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera
    edited January 2021

    @pmvines, the OP did say that he has that conversation with his cuddling partners, but was interested in more general opinions. There is no harm in that.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Nope . No harm

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    @DrCuddleBug, of course women can become aroused during cuddling. Evolution just gave us the option to hide the evidence. This is the real “feminine mystique.”

  • [Deleted User]DrCuddleBug (deleted user)

    @BellaSera I know women can become aroused. 😁 I just wanted to bring attention to the fact that every one of these "aroused" threads always seem to focus on the male arousal, as if only males deal with this. Nonsense.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera
    edited January 2021

    @DrCuddleBug, yeah, for sure... just generally pointing out that girls rule and boys drool.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    LOL @BellaSera :joy:

  • [Deleted User]DrCuddleBug (deleted user)

    @BellaSera you'll get no argument from me there.

  • LyleLuvsHugglesLyleLuvsHuggles

    This is where preplanning comes into play, unless our legs are intertwined rather higher up than is usually the case jr. is snugly tucked out of the way and only I'm annoyed at his antics.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    New to the scene, Gentlemen ~ Take note from who I presume is your, "Members Only Club President", on how to handle yourselves...

    @NightShift39 ~ "This is where preplanning comes into play, unless our legs are intertwined rather higher up than is usually the case jr. is snugly tucked out of the way and only I'm annoyed at his antics."

    ~ perfect, Perfect, PERFECT!!!

    And thank you to those I've cuddled with who became aroused with me and didn't try to turn things sexual. Your repositioning, and maintaining control of yourself through on our snuggly cuddles, is much appreciated!!!
    🤗🥰😘

  • DinosaurCuddlesDinosaurCuddles

    Thank you all for the information and input! No need to apologise, I assumed all was in good fun.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    @cuddleversed I cackled at the counter as if it's an OSHA hazard or something hahaha

  • ImportanceImportance

    I only cuddle eunuchs

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    Wear compression shorts. It is a normal physiological response, yes, but don't encourage it along in any way (physically, mentally, etc.) Also, talk about this with your cuddle buddy before you meet. Ask what their comfort level is in knowing about it or not, and how you plan to handle it. (I was going to say "...if it arises" but realized the unintentional pun there). Like any small combustion, snuff it out before it turns into a wildfire.

  • cuddleversedcuddleversed

    @Sashamcgee that was the idea 😁

    Just bustin chops a little bit

  • [Deleted User]DarkLordChungus (deleted user)

    It would only be a deal breaker for me if there were tons of fluids all over the place. Like, just an absurd amount of goop. As if someone had unleashed a horde of slugs all over the cuddle spot.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    See, my sex education was woefully lacking- we didn't really do it at school beyond our (lesbian) form teacher awkwardly putting a condom on a banana and explaining in very vague terms where babies came from, and my parents point blank refused to discuss losing virginity and all that went with it until I was 16 and that ship had very much sailed.

    Years of questionable choices and one asexual long term relationship later, I still haven't learned much.

    Point it, I didn't realise until about five minutes ago that men can get erections without actually wanting to have sex. 😳

    I feel like I need to find a male friend I can just ask about all of the stuff I don't know 🤣 there is probably loads more I have no idea about.

  • ImportanceImportance

    @BuggleBear wow, you just blew my mind. A man can get an erection because the sun is shining, because a bird chirped, because he doesn’t like wind. There is no rhyme or reason as to why they get them sometimes. If you ask me, and don’t tell anybody I said this, men are extremely weird. Extremely!

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