@freddyfoxx Just a numbers game bro. Honestly, this activity isn't that mainstream and there are just different alternatives out there, communities, support groups for women so therefore they get their cuddles elsewhere. It's 1 girl for every 4 guys here. It's worse odds than China's 1 child, preferably male policy x__x
@freddyfoxx - "Maybe it’s my age, but i think I’ve reaxhed out to everyone withn 100 mile radius and no luck."
I just checked your profile. It says you joined the site in January of this year. Keep in mind that men outnumber women about 4:1 on this site. You might want to write a little more about yourself on your profile, there's like one sentence.
@trackcoachred - "Each person on here, male or female, is unique and has their own balance of challenges and opportunity."
Yep. Women may get more messages, more opportunities to meet potential cuddlers, but my experience has been a lot of these guys blow it by being too pushy. So, it's hard for us to find what we want, too.
Here's something I thought about that I've run into here and on dating sites: guys that say they are not into writing and want you to call them or meet them right away. I understand that not everyone is a writer but I also notice that as I get to know people through the written word that I feel like I get a sense of who they are and that leads to a greater level of comfort. Is there a sort of built-in discrimination that favors writers and disfavors non-writers?
Thanks for the advice, fully agree
How men might get more non-pro cuddle partners: 1. Be at least 6 feet tall (eliminates 85.5% of male population) and fit. 2, Don't be creepy 3. Be single or lie about your status.
How men might get more pro cuddle partners: 1. Don't be creepy. 2. Be single or lie about your status.
The dos and don'ts are very useful however I think most mens problem on this site is that they never get far enough for most of the items on that list to apply. To be honest if men are finding that they're able to meet up with women on the site and then start doing those bad things in your list, I really would be surprised if they had the gall to come here and complain about it.
That said I feel very lucky that I am meeting an enthusiast and a professional over the next couple of weeks and although I like to think I wouldn't be a scumbag, it is nice to have that list to bear in mind. The points about not letting your own needs get ahead of her own is definitely helpful! Perhaps this is just my perspective but I think most men are likely to feel that they are not getting what they want if they are just doing what the other person wants, which may be why they are more pushy in trying to get what they want.
I know for myself that when it has been such a long time, it can be easy to become impatient. Which is why more than anything I don't want to screw it up when I do meet others!
It really just feels like (almost) no one is willing to give me a chance, despite telling me how nice I am. I can't blame them but it is hard not to think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. And it brings up thoughts that the only way for people to give me a chance is to pay them. Mainly I am glad that the option is available, but I do have to try and think about it that way. But obviously I am living evidence that it is not necessary and there are people out there who will be happy to meet me and I aim to make them glad they made that decision. It just seems to require a lot more effort than I could have ever realised and a lot of luck too. Perhaps I should stick to talking to computers.
Couldn't find anybody in my area, got no messages either and so I'll just be inactive I guess.
@11rollover - "How men might get more non-pro cuddle partners: 1. Be at least 6 feet tall (eliminates 85.5% of male population) and fit."
Oddly, most of the men in my life tend to be on the short side.
"How men might get more pro cuddle partners: 1. Don't be creepy. 2. Be single or lie about your status."
Is it difficult making appointments with pros?
Not being creepy should just be a given.
@Djorge - " I like to think I wouldn't be a scumbag, it is nice to have that list to bear in mind. "
I hope you have great luck in this. Let us know how it goes. The fact that you're paying attention already speaks well of you.
"Perhaps this is just my perspective but I think most men are likely to feel that they are not getting what they want if they are just doing what the other person wants, which may be why they are more pushy in trying to get what they want."
Well, when they start out that way, then they are pretty well guaranteed of not getting what they want! See it from the woman's perspective. She's putting herself in a very vulnerable position with a total stranger. If you can help her feel at ease and not feel pushed, she'll be a lot more likely to be able to relax.
"It really just feels like (almost) no one is willing to give me a chance, despite telling me how nice I am. I can't blame them but it is hard not to think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. "
Don't take it personally. Remember, men outnumber women on this site about 4:1. On top of that, as I said, you're asking a woman to make herself very vulnerable to a total stranger. I don't think too many men really understand that.
You might give your potential cuddle partner a link to this discussion and ask her, if you haven't already, what would make her feel at ease?
You come across as someone who is paying attention and cares. If you were here, I'd certainly give you a chance! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
@Babichev You are right. Not all women need tall. Most prefer it and many insist on it though. With the 4:1 ratio in play, most non-pro women have karma only or mostly from tall, slim, fit or athletic guys and the older the woman is, the more years younger her partners seem to be.
Not being creepy should be a given. Not violating the platonic rules of this site should be a given, but some men are jerks. Also not lying should be a given.
It's normally quite easy making appointments with a pro. But I had one recently that wasn't interested because I was married, so I threw that on the list. So I'm seriously over reaching, I know. Virtually all of the other pros I've contacted seemed okay with it, and in fact when it's discussed, all of them (but that one) seemed quite sympathetic to my plight.
@11rollover why would a pro decline because you are married? I would understand if a enthusiast didn’t want to but a pro should get it.
@11rollover Yeah being 6' or over probably helps. Not a big secret women are attracted to tall men. But if you're not then the other things you mentioned help. You could also try looking like you don't smell/have good hygiene. I don't click on many men's profiles but sometimes I just see even the profile pictures of some men who look like they don't give a second thought to wearing a shirt that looks like it needs to be washed, or their hair is greasy, or they just look like they don't take care of themselves. Along these lines if you're a guy looking for cuddles and having trouble finding partners maybe asking yourself "would I want to cuddle me?" is a good place to start, lol.
All these complaints from women that men are too pushy. I usually hear from women that I'm not pushy enough. What exactly is the right amount of pushiness?
@UKGuy: Beats me. Probably depends on the woman.
Do you really want to hang out with a woman who wants you to be pushy, though? I'd just as soon be decently nonaggressive and hang out with the people who actually prefer the type of person who takes no for an answer.
Yes @BashfulLoner I think a pro should get it. I've never had a professional masseuse refuse to massage me became of my wedding ring.
I've cuddled a few ppl here have met ppl and haven't cuddled I've flaked on cuddling to hang with friends or because I didnt have the money to arrive to destination anytime I cuddle I have to commute I have a full time job and other responsibilities so you have to take a person life into consideration before being upset your not meeting ppl ....also I find that man dont always reach out and communicate I've been ghosted and flaked on too or trolled ...so there could be many reason but I feel like if your looking to cuddle really bad why dont you cuddle other man why does it have to be a woman..
@UKGuy I wouldn't want to be around someone who's pushy. That's more leaning on aggressive communication. I'd appreciate if someone was at least assertive. It makes me feel more respected as a person if instead of begging or throwing ultimatums around to get what they want, they explicitly say their intentions and can gracefully accept if the answer is no. Conversely there are those that tend to be too passive and aren't clear in their intentions at all and it seems to me that this leads to frustration since that can be un-fulfilling.
@UKGuy - you're getting complaints that you are not pushy enough? You sound like my kind of guy!
@DarrenWalker " I'd just as soon be decently nonaggressive and hang out with the people who actually prefer the type of person who takes no for an answer." You speak my language!
@CuddlyGuy2018 "Not a big secret women are attracted to tall men."
Yeah, I guess I'm the freak. I prefer guys close to my height. Maybe they are less intimidating.
@11rollover " I had one recently that wasn't interested because I was married"
It seems most pros are okay with that but in a way I can see why one might categorically not cuddle with married men unless they knew for sure their partner knew about it and approved. It could create a mess for them if the spouse didn't know about the cuddling, did not approve, found out and made life difficult for them. Massage therapists are, in most states, licensed as health care workers and they are only touching you with their hands, feet, forearms, or elbows. Pro cuddlers are not regulated in any way and you are in a private situation with a lot of body contact. Very different.
Well, I wish all of us in the forums were in closer proximity because I'd cuddle most of you in a heartbeat. We could have quite the cuddle puddle!
@Babichev: And you speak mine. You can friend request me any time! You are definitely one of the people I'd like to cuddle.
Huh be nice and Real
-dont hate me for my opinion-
@Navyman1010: [nod, nod] I should think that particular method would work for everybody.
Hey, I got an idea for men to get more cuddles. Stop canceling on your cuddle date. Period!
Act normal
Be nice
Smile
Be friendly
Talk to us like we are human beings
Love it. Last I checked I WAS a human being.
@Importance I like to think I do all those things. I have had more than one person critique my conversations and said they were fine; I was told I should try request in person meetups sooner and ask more questions about them. No luck yet. I know what you mean though a lot of men don’t do the things you said for some crappy reason
Sometimes I get a little nervous in person meeting someone for the first time and don’t smile as much as maybe I should. I’ve been trying to work on this but Iit’s a slight challenge.
@sunnysideup I’m sure that you are great! I was just being a silly asshole. I’m sorry
Oof yeah I tend to lose on the smiling front, I'm often asked why I'm upset/angry when I'm perfectly content at the moment. My natural facial expression just isn't smiley, if I'm actually smiling around you I either REALLY enjoy your company or (in most cases far more likely) am nearly ecstatic about something. (Chances are a new book from a cherished author or season of a beloved anime just or will very shortly hit the shelves) though I may have just seen a beautifully restored classic car/truck/motorcycle lol
The best choice is for men to socialize with people outside of the internet. In the real world. This website is mostly only good for a temporary reprieve for us men.