@Importance not taking internet advice would also being taking internet advice. (I pulled a sneaky on ya). Anyway I said not to take it not not to give it. But I can't give advice without the answers to those questions
@ubergigglefritz I apologize. I shouldn’t have come so strongly at you. I was frustrated with my predicament. I’m frustrated by the fact that people believe that relationships are easier for women than they are for men. If they were so easy, then everybody would just have successful relationships even if those were just cuddling relationships.
I also, like them in here do not want to cuddle women. There are zero male professionals within a 600+ miles of me and most of the male professionals which are very few and far between are at least 1000 miles away for me. I would hire the right male professional in a heartbeat. And I would probably hire him every week.
@Mike403 there are female professionals in the Denver area. Why don’t you hire one? You have that privilege being male.
@BotWithFeelings Did you know that asking people questions can be a form of manipulation?
Just say what you want to say it to me or leave me alone
Remember, I can get laid. I can actually get laid by some pretty hot men. But what I am missing is the intimate close connected feeling that I am seeking from platonic cuddling. No on the expletive. This site is platonic.[-Sid]
Why would I hire a male prostitute when I can get laid?
If you can’t tell you’re getting under my skin.
@Importance - I've been trying to avoid that with some rare exceptions. It would just feel much better to feel wanted rather than having to pay somebody to be here.
@Importance I need a source for that. I don't understand people's aversion to questions.
Peace out y’all. @BotWithFeelings
@ubergigglefritz I have spoken to female professionals who would not be comfortable with a female client, so yes they do exist. I also know several who would and indeed do.
It would indeed be awesome if straight men started cuddling straight men. Still out of reach for me though.
Goodbye? @Importance
@BotWithFeelings you do have a source for that - @Importance.
Also, most people realise it when they are teenagers, at the oldest. Your implicit claim that you don't, sounds ..... I dunno what the right word is, it's just strange.
I mean I am strange but not dishonest. If there is something obvious i missing please tell me
Edit: @CuddleDuncan so I am to believe a random person's baseless assumption that questions are manipulative? Does she have a PHD I'm unaware of. I need to see a study.
I have cuddled men straight, gay and other I'm just very picky. Bad experiences with male cuddlers is not an exclusively female issue, (I'm not saying that makes it less of a problem in any way) boundry pushers come in every flavor. Asexual people tend to work out wonderfully if we can "click."
@NightShift39 , this warms my heart. Not the part with boundary pushers coming in every flavor, that sucks, and I'm sorry you've experienced it. But it's really cool you've been so open minded about your partners.
And yeah, asexual people give great cuddles
@squeakytoy - I have to be honest here. I could not cuddle a man. It would just feel way too awkward for me.
@squeakytoy thank you, and yes they do!!!
@Mike403 It's all good, I posed it as more of a theoretical tbh. We all have our comfort zones and have the right to decide who we want to cuddle.
@squeakytoy speaking of which why do you ask? Just curiosity?
@BotWithFeelings, if I answered, would you take my word for it or would you need to see a source? lol
@Mike403
I've been trying to avoid that with some rare exceptions. It would just feel much better to feel wanted rather than having to pay somebody to be here.
Yes. Professionals are wonderful and they are a great fit for many people. But the feeling of being wanted is more what I'm looking for, and hiring someone to cuddle you doesn't really speak to that need, for me atleast.
@squeakytoy i mean you asked me a question, i just wanted to know why. I only asked for a source from importante because it was a statement of fact that I doubted not an opinion of hers.
@Importance and @BotWithFeelings - do not engage or tag each other on the forums. The mutual baiting needs to stop.
@BotWithFeelings questions can be anything. They can be honest, foolish, leading .... and they can be manipulative.
When I read the earlier posts, the feeling I got was that @Importance was beginning to feel that some of your questions were manipulative. At that point, whether they are or not is irrelevant, and what becomes important is how you respond. The response you gave is consistent with the questions being manipulative, so Importance responded appropriately and left the conversation.
What matters now is that you recognise what's happening with you. If you want to continue down that path, then by all means reply to me with an argumentative question, or something similar.
Alternatively, recognise that something has gone wrong in your conversation with Importance. Recognise that what you said, and the way you said it, were significant contributors to it going wrong. And then reflect on that.
Think about questions like, What was your true intent? Why did you say the things you said, and why did you say them like that? Why did you respond by demanding evidence for something everybody knows, rather than just thinking about what was happening? Have you tried to put yourself in the other person's shoes? All that good stuff.
@CuddleDuncan, I just want to say that this was excellently put. Thank you.
@CuddleDuncan ah yes, false authority. Saying something with confidence doesn't make it true. I disagree with your sentiment that that's "something everyone knows". It is literally calling me a liar when you say I know something that I say i don't. I still don't agree and I still have done nothing but try to understand. I don't think you actually read my posts if you think that I am trying to manipulate.
@BotWithFeelings - I think your name is a lie. Robots don't have feelings.
@Importance
There are zero male professionals within a 600+ miles of me
Looks like there are 4 male professionals within 100 miles of you? Albeit not a great selection, but there are a few, not sure if any appeal to you though.
@BotWithFeelings if we were in a group therapy room I would be really happy with your answer. On a public forum .. well it's not quite the same kind of place. As you read the rest of this post please remember that it is written in a spirit of friendship.
When I say happy I really do mean it. Cuddle Comfort is an interesting website - absolutely everybody who comes here is in pain. I certainly was. I still am, but slightly less. Some of that pain comes out in the forums. I liked your post because you are angry and you are expressing that anger. In principle this is good, although as I say on a forum it's not always ideal.
I don't think you are lying. And when I say "something everybody knows" I was wrong - you don't know. So I'm sorry for saying that.
Questions can be used to do almost anything that ordinary conversation can do. And they have a disingenuous quality that can be misused to achieve things like manipulation. (Don't demand references. Just say to yourself, "OK, for the moment let's just assume that's true.")
You will observed that in my previous post I did not express a view as to whether the questions were manipulative or not, and will not do so now. Not least because it doesn't matter.
Manipulation can be a totally unconscious process. Manipulation can be perceived as happening even when it isn't.
I'm not a manipulative person, but very occasionally somebody suggests that I am being manipulative. Now, I am aware that it can happen unconsciously. I am aware that it's something that any of us can do. So I stop my whole line of conversation and think about what I've said. Think about how the other person is feeling. Then we sort it out. That is what you didn't do.
@CuddleDuncan - I'm including you in the mix. This is also a form of baiting. I don't need this played out in the forums. Take it to private messaging if you have advice or suggestions. Thanks, [-Sid]
@sunnysideup granted, I'm not normal, but as a professional, I don't see all inquiries, and I don't continue to see just anyone willing to pay. They have to be respectful and a good fit for the service I'm interested in providing. I "want" all of my clients I see, I just could never pick a small enough number of them in order to have time for other work, so they have to keep paying me. 😆 If that made sense...
Sorry @Sideon. Will do.
@Mike403 I have been programmed to feel. Beep boop [mechanized sobbing]
@sunnysideup
Oh yes, I see what you were saying now. I can see three men/ not four within 100 miles. They have not been online in the last week since I figured out how to look professional men up this way. And I had my settings to only looking for people who had been online for the last week so no one showed up. One of the guys did not even show up for me because he is 19 years old. I had my settings set from the age of 20 years old to 100 years old. I thought that that would be enough.
So, one man is 19 years old. One man doesn’t even have a price. And the third man, well, his name is gush hammer. That name sounds completely inappropriate for a website that just censored me for using a curse word to make a point.
Image removed. Please don't post people's profiles or screen shots of messages in the forums. [-Sid]