Why can't you do both? Professional and Free cuddling

[Deleted User]AffectionateTXn (deleted user)
in Professional Cuddling

My question to the professional cuddlers is this? Why can't you do both, professional and free cuddling. Why must every session be a paid session?

For example, someone pays for a cuddling session and you really enjoyed cuddling with them and really hope that they will become a repeat client or maybe you really like the person as a friend and would like to cuddle with them on a regular basis. But that person just doesn't have the money to pay for cuddling on a regular basis.

What is stopping you from saying " because I really like this person or I like cuddling this person, I'm going to make them an exception and not charge them to cuddle all the time or some of the time."

Isn't it okay for a professional to have certain people that they cuddle with for fun and others that they require them to pay to cuddle?

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Comments

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @Mark

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    Obviously CuddleComfort can neither detect nor control what you do off site. If a pro wants to see a former client for free there's no way CC can know about or stop that.

    However, I suspect the rule is there to prevent people circumventing the site fee. CC wants to know how much a pro charges for a session so they can take their cut. Some pros try to get around paying CC's cut in any number of ways. A pro booking free or extremely low cost sessions is suspicious for that reason.

  • ImportanceImportance

    @AffectionateTXn that sounds like a slippery slope towards emotional distress, pressuring girls to cuddle you for free, and lots of pain and hurt.

    Take some deep breaths first. Take a step back and try to think this through.

    Do you want cuddles for free from these nice young professionals or do you just want cuddles from enthusiasts?

    I’m being very sincere and worried about your heart here. I truly am.

    -A

  • MarkMark
    edited January 2021

    General support for this would make things difficult for moderators and our automated systems. It's rare for Pros to want to offer both a paid and free service. So it's not worth our while catering to that with the challenges it brings.

    That said, unofficially it's ok for Pros to occasionally do a free session if its expressed clearly in the online chat, followed by using the booking panel with a $0 custom price.

  • ImportanceImportance

    @Mark Can professionals have two profiles? One that is professional and one that is as an enthusiast?

  • MarkMark
    edited January 2021

    This has been requested so infrequently, maybe a handful of times in several years, that we don't have a policy on it, even internally. That means we are likely to default to our T&Cs against duplicate accounts.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz
    edited January 2021

    @AffectionateTXn I think, given the choice, most anyone would choose "free". As a professional, I respect my clients enough to treat everyone equally, so I give no one any special privileges. I think picking and choosing who to charge and who to not, or who to give discounts to and who to not, is disrespectful to the paying or full price clients. It basically says "I don't like you enough." That's not any part of what I want my clients to experience. 😔 What I do on the other hand, is offer everyone equal opportunities for discounts to save money. Hopefully that helps it make sense a little...

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @ubergigglefritz I think that's a good point.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @CuddleDuncan 💜😊

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    I think it's not uncommon for pros to have existing relationships where they cuddle without payment, such as close friends, family, relatives, partners, and children. However, these are connections where there are often months or years of building trust before cuddling happens - it's quite different experience to meeting a random stranger online and cuddling with them on a no-strings-attached basis.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I have had a few pure "enthusiasts" cuddles before as a professional, but rare cases. I love connection above most things, but primarily I've also have talked with these people for long time and felt comfortable in doing so.

    I have pen pals on here I've been talking to for over a year or two, I've also met with female cuddle enthusiasts and local pros as well, free of charge. But I list that I offer that in my profile for those that make it that far reading.

    I'm just an anomaly, but I suggest you make it clear in conversation that it is indeed platonic and not paid through the site messaging system as follow up so the moderators can also see the transparency. 💗

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    @TouchSanctuary I gained some thing from what you just wrote there. And I want to express my feelings around this final idea of the strings we attach to cuddles. If you feel that I have taken what you wrote out of context or off topic please clarify.

    You touched on the idea of no strings attached cuddling. I am absolutely, without a doubt, struggling with the idea of cuddling someone one time and that just being enough. For a one time cuddle to stand on its own seems like it would cause me more damage in the long run then benefit for the few hours that I may be able to embrace someone.

    I always want a guarantee from the person that I am cuddling that I will see them again, that they will be my friend, that they will continue to communicate with me. I am making cuddling high pressure. I can see the value in just receiving payment for cuddling. Compensation for allowing someone to experience your presence and affection creates a boundary. I’m just beginning to formulate my ideas around this. I’m so happy that you expressed these ideas this way.

    I even go so far as to tell potential cuddle partners that I want to be their only cuddle partner. As you can see I can’t handle the no strings attached component. This is probably why I’m just exploring these ideas on this website rather than actually having cuddles.

    If you have any more input, I want to hear it. If anyone has anything to say around this please message me or post here or wherever the appropriate thread is.

    Please also remember that for anyone who wants to discuss this with me, I will be open and vulnerable unless I feel like you are attacking me. I quickly shut down and I quickly go on attack back. This is definitely a huge downfall of mine and I am working on it.

    Please do not ask me direct questions about this that could be construed as leading or manipulative. If you have something to say to me just say it. Don’t ask me a question and expect me to find the answer that you want me to have. That frustrates me. I am only willing to offer the information that I offer. But as you can all see I can be verbose and vulnerable.

    Thank you
    -A

    @Sideon may we move these ideas/ this thread to the general forum?

  • craMcraM

    When I saw I was able to be a pro I was very excited after having attempted to become one on a diffent cuddle site. When I saw the section for my fee I wanted to put it at zero but it wasn't an option.

    I love how the pros have their star rating 5 or higher noted on ther profile. I would like that too but I don't want to charge anyone.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited January 2021

    @Importance - I understand where you're coming. It would hurt me as well if I felt like somebody was my friend for a short time only to be ghosted later.

    I'm sorry if you felt that I or anybody on this website was trying to manipulate you in any way. You have the right to use this website any way you choose(within the site's policies of course)

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @Importance I can relate to many concepts you discussed. I look for a long term friendship and cuddles, when searching for a compatible cuddle buddy! I also guard my heart ❤️ in case it does not happen. I have learned to do my best prospecting, enjoy drama free interaction and what is meant to be will be!

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    @Importance

    I even go so far as to tell potential cuddle partners that I want to be their only cuddle partner. As you can see I can’t handle the no strings attached component.

    Honestly I think you'd have better luck just dating. If you don't want sex, that'll be a problem for some potential partners, but I suspect "hey I'm on a cuddle buddy site but want strong emotional attachment and exclusivity" may be a harder problem than "hey I'm on a dating site but don't want sex."

  • Mike403Mike403

    @CuddleMeLater - A real man would not pressure any woman into sex.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    @Mike403 Absolutely 100% irrelevant to anything I said.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    You get that if a man's perspective is "I'm looking for a sexual relationship, and you're not, so we're not compatible"... that's not pressuring a woman into sex... right?

  • ImportanceImportance

    I feel like I should clarify here. I do not want to be a professional cuddler ever. I don’t have any problem with professional cuddlers. All I am saying is that I see the value in receiving payment for cuddling when a man has no intention of creating a friendship with you. Just get the money and run.

  • mtpmtp

    @Importance In my limited experience, it is the professional cuddler who establishes boundaries making friendship with a client difficult or impossible, for similar reasons that a massage therapist maintains professional boundaries.
    https://www.massageschoolnotes.com/the-therapeutic-relationship-for-massage-therapists/

    I'm sure I'm not alone in desiring some level of friendship with anyone I choose to cuddle with (professional or not), even if it's not going to happen.

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    You touched on the idea of no strings attached cuddling. I am absolutely, without a doubt, struggling with the idea of cuddling someone one time and that just being enough. For a one time cuddle to stand on its own seems like it would cause me more damage in the long run then benefit for the few hours that I may be able to embrace someone.

    I always want a guarantee from the person that I am cuddling that I will see them again, that they will be my friend, that they will continue to communicate with me. I am making cuddling high pressure. I can see the value in just receiving payment for cuddling. Compensation for allowing someone to experience your presence and affection creates a boundary. I’m just beginning to formulate my ideas around this. I’m so happy that you expressed these ideas this way.

    I even go so far as to tell potential cuddle partners that I want to be their only cuddle partner. As you can see I can’t handle the no strings attached component. This is probably why I’m just exploring these ideas on this website rather than actually having cuddles.

    If you have any more input, I want to hear it. If anyone has anything to say around this please message me or post here or wherever the appropriate thread is.

    @Importance I think your preferences are reasonable and valid, though if you're looking for a more exclusive connection, it may fall outside the boundaries of a typical platonic friendship which is assumed to be non-monogamous. I would consider what you are seeking to be something more like a romantic non-sexual relationship or a platonic partner dynamic.

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    I written this in other places. I don’t fit in on dating sites nor cuddling. So 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I am very happy you responded @TouchSanctuary

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary
    edited January 2021

    @Importance have you considered asexual dating sites or Facebook groups? You might find more likeminded people there. Some asexual people are quite happy to have committed, exclusive relationships that are primarily based on cuddling, but don't involve kissing, making out or sexual activity.

    I would also add you may find people open to exclusive asexual/platonic partnerships on this website too, though I would say the majority here are allosexual (as in, not asexual).

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    Ahh see. I didn’t know these existed! Thank. I will look around. @TouchSanctuary what is allosexual. Never mind. I have the Internet. I will look up. 🙂

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @TouchSanctuary I don't think there are any ace dating sites besides one, which is incredibly inactive... But there meetup and facebook groups. 😊

  • ImportanceImportance

    @ubergigglefritz I am so glad you said this. I have spent the last couple of hours searching for these types of groups. They are nonexistent from my two hour endeavor of looking for them. Maybe they are somewhere… Maybe?

    Everything just kind of all hit for me at once. I separated from my husband about a year and a half ago. He was my husband for 15 years and he was very controlling of me and isolating me from my friends and family.

    And now we have this global pandemic… I am seeking out friendships and not finding them. Things will get easier. Things will get better. Right now I’m just in a tough spot. Everything changes.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @Importance you checked meetup? 🤔

  • [Deleted User]wildirisrainbow (deleted user)

    Literally the only reason I'm doing this it's because I want to supplement my family's income. I'm lucky enough to have wonderful husband who I can cuddle for free anytime I want. I do enjoy cuddling but if I had free time I would spend it with my family not cuddling strangers for free.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    @wildirisrainbow

    Thanks for that contribution. That's perfectly reasonable. In my experience the vast majority of pros feel the same way, but for some reason when I say it people think I'm saying something nasty about them.

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