I really struggle How many men feel uncomfortable with safety measures of a woman in this field . it’s like how dare you feel the need to be safe with strangers . Women live their lives making decisions based on how likely it is they could get raped . Yes I understand you worry about being robbed . But getting your wallet or car stolen is very different compared to sexual assault . I have thought about having someone in a car outside if I’m a guest and have check in times every hour . If I man is so opposed to safety precautions it makes me more distrustful of him . if I client wanted that I wouldn’t have a problem if they felt safer . If I feel safe I’m more likely to relax and enjoy myself . If I’m relaxed then the client would be as well .
One of the things that stands out about the original May 12th post is the suggestion that I perceive at the end, which is to make it a requirement that a doorman be present (in case of trouble) for every Cuddling session.
If you don't want to read the rest of this post, then I'll give you the TL;DR version right here: I disagree with the request to have Cuddle Comfort (the website) make it a requirement. I feel that instead, safety actions (when, where, and/or if required) should be decided on by the individuals participating.
lost in thought
I understand the reasoning behind the suggestion. Truth be told, women simply face more risk. Historically, statistically, and probably several other types of -ically speaking... this is just true. Yet I feel that safety and security when Cuddling is not a concern that is unique to women - for men can have worries as well. The exact nature of these concerns/worries/risks usually takes a different form, however, when speaking about male Cuddlers. It should be clearly understood (by all who read this) that most reasonably intelligent people will know what the most likely dangers are (that women potentially face) in a therapeutic business such as Cuddling. These same (reasonably intelligent) people would never dismiss this out of hand, and are exactly the type of people needed in a community such as this. Rather than go into the different things that we could each be potentially worried about, I would instead venture forth a few thoughts:
First: Some math... Yuck. For the record, I hate math But this one was actually fun to figure out, so please bear with me. Hopefully, I even got the math right, which would be a bonus It's just a combination algorithm, after all.
Cuddlers on this site can either be (or identify as) Male or Female. They can choose whether to Host, be a Guest, or stay in the Public eye (for that matter, it could even change during the session as it progresses!). They can also choose to Cuddle as a paid Professional, or seek Cuddling as an unpaid enthusiast. It doesn't sound like a lot to choose from but there are twelve different ways to describe the person Cuddling based on these parameters alone. And any single one of those same 12 ways could be used for describing their partner. What that means, then, is that there are 78 different ways to describe two people who are Cuddling! To give you an idea, an example of just ONE of these combinations would be a "Male/Non-Pro/Guest" who is Cuddling with a "Female/Professional/Host". I'm not listing the other 77 Cuddler Combos; you get the idea, I'm sure!
Second: Whatever our Cuddler Combo may be, it creates a list of concerns/worries/risks that will need to be considered. Most likely, the questions that arise will include "What if something were to happen to me?" as well as "What steps can I take to provide myself with safeguards?". Several of the posts here deal with another question that should be on that list: "Should the Cuddling partner know what the safeguards are that have been chosen?", which is then followed by a question that is just as important as any of the others: "Will the chosen safeguards compromise the quality of this Cuddling session that I wish to have?".
lost in thought again
We will all have our own answers to these questions. Some answers will be generated by our experiences and others out of the beliefs we hold dear; I suspect they will even come from the things that philosophically make us each who we are. It is important for all of us to remember that for these questions, there are no wrong answers. We each have to decide for ourselves as to whether or not we are willing to work with someone else's answers. Once we know that, then we just need to simply communicate that with our chosen partner and we will be one step closer to finding that perfect blend of Cuddle Comfort.
I always tell my close friend where I'm going for the session, and the time we are scheduled to cuddle - I check in afterwards to let him know I'm okay. That gives me the peace of mind.
This idea comes from a place of fear or lack of trust. I think it is important to recognize this and consider, is this the type of energy I want to bring into my sessions? While safety is a valid and crucial component on a session (for all parties involved), I think there are better ways of fostering a safe and comfortable environment. ❤
My bestie lives in MD and does the paid cuddling thing sometimes. I'm one of her several check in people even though I'm in AL, but at least I would know how to handle her affairs and who to contact if god forbid something did happen to her. Plus I would take the first immediate flight out there and rip a fool limb for limb like the protective grizzly I am and be back home before dark.
Agree with @Jrose.
Both parties should feel comfy.
With all the robbing scams in LA I wouldn't feel comfy with a doorman outside.
I've cuddle girls with their roomies home, no problem, tho.
I personally don't feel the need for a doorman per se, but I wouldn't understand someone having a problem with a friend waiting at a close coffee place or even a few blocks away in a car. That's not an invasion of privacy in my opinion!
I also wouldn't understand a client not being comfortable with a personal defense device like pepper spray or a stun gun. If you have a problem with those, you obviously don't understand the anxiety and fear one can have going into a first meet. The man you're meeting with is likely kind and a good person, but there is a small chance he's not and has bad intentions. I would just decline a client if they told me I couldn't bring a defense device, that's just a huge red flag!!