Share a Story of Love ❤️ for Valentines Day!

[Deleted User]SuperSnuggler2 (deleted user)
edited February 2021 in General

With Valentine's Day coming up this weekend, I thought it might be interesting to share a love story from your life. It could be your first love, your first kiss, your soul mate, the one you still carry a torch for. . . Eros or romantic love. Or it could be the story of a friend, a pet, a family member. . . .Philia or affectionate love. It can be sad or funny or heartwarming.

I have quite a few so I'll go first.

Mine is about Roxie who was the most loving dog I've ever had. A rescue, Rox spent a year enduring god knows what kind of hell before she was returned to the shelter where I then worked. She was a tough case. Didn't like kids. Didn't like other dogs. And she had heartworms. With lots of investment (medical care, behavioral training) and love, she became a loving dog and was especially attached to me. I always said if she could crawl under my skin she would because she always had to be where I was RIGHTNEXTTOME. I remember 6 months after we adopted her there was one day when she just EXHALED and trusted she was home and with her forever people. Last May Roxie died very unexpectedly. I miss my girl every day and will never forget her.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    A few years back my mother finally told me, with complete sincerity, that she loved me.

    "I understand now why God sent you to me!" she exclaimed, glowing. "It was so I could learn to love the unlovable. And I do!"

    Yup. Nothing better than being told you're unlovable. Unless it's being told that you exist for the sake of one woman; so that she can turn into a truly good, wonderful person through learning to love the disgusting, horrible, completely unlovable thing that is you. Yay, love!

    ...Yeah, I haven't had great experiences with this emotion. Not really my thing, I think. Probably missed a developmental window or something.

    This is a sad story of love!

  • [Deleted User]SuperSnuggler2 (deleted user)

    @DarrenWalker I don't know what to say other than thank you for being open/vulnerable enough to share your story.

    I always say we have two families: The one we are born into and the one we create. Blood is NOT always thicker than water. Sometimes it's more like quicksand, bringing you down and pulling you under.

    Sending hugs and love from Georgia!

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @SuperSnuggler2 Whenever someone quotes "blood is thicker than water", thinking it means that family trumps all, yada yada, I always respond with the full quote, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".

    I hate that the shortened version means the opposite of the original one (which is the one I prefer, and the one it sounds like you may prefer too) :sweat:

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Quicksand is thicker than water too. Just saying...kind of circular reasoning.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @DarrenWalker My sympathies! A lot of people sing praises about a mother's love, but some mothers are just incapable of love.

  • [Deleted User]SuperSnuggler2 (deleted user)

    @FunCartel always here for the quip. Thanks for not disappointing.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    No, no blood truly is thicker than water. We must never forget that.

    But remember that custard is thicker than blood.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Thanks, everybody, but no worries—you can't miss what you've never known! And I prefer a nice thick custard to blood anyway.

    ...Uh, for eating, at least. Blood's typically much better for all that pretty flowing. Actually, custard might also be better than quicksand for getting stuck in; a person stuck in a pool of custard, slopping around, trying to get out, getting goopier by the minute... that can't possibly be funnier than a person caught in a pool of quicksand, can it? Nooo. No way.

    And now I've lost track of the topic. I should go to bed.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    I know a woman, Celestinia, whose family was murdered before her very eyes when she was 3 years old. She hid in the closet and was found there when the cops arrived.

    Growing up she would sleep in Woodlawn Cemetery where they were buried in a row. She would invite friends to stay overnight with her or sometimes just stay there alone. One day when she reached a new level of acceptance, she decided to stop sleeping in the graveyard. She ventured into adulthood and became a hairstylist, married and made a family of her own.

    During Covid, she had to close up her hair care business. She returned to Woodlawn Cemetery only to find it abandoned, the grass shoulder high, beehives, with wild and feral animals everywhere. She called on friends, relatives and the community to help her. Over the course of the last year, this graveyard which holds Spanish and Civil War veterans, Black Panthers, entertainers, and sections from segregation and post segregation, has been completely restored. She holds fundraisers there now for the disenfranchised.

    What was once dead and gone is now green and thriving in my home town, the city of Compton. Celestinia's love for her Mother and three sisters now radiates out to the entire community and beyond.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If blood is not thicker than water then the correct quote to get a point across is Bruce Lee:

    Be water, my friend.

  • [Deleted User]SuperSnuggler2 (deleted user)

    @PeopleLikeUs what a great story. Thank you for sharing.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    "A diamond is harder than water. Let's raise the price again!" -De Beers

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @DarrenWalker

    And I prefer a nice thick custard to blood anyway....Uh, for eating, at least.

    I most cordially disagree. I don't think you have it in America, but there is a wonderful food called black pudding. It is of the sausage family, and is delicious. Most commonly eaten for breakfast or all day breakfast, but can also be used in fine dining as a partner for scallops. It is made mostly from blood.

    Modern, packet custard made from cornflour can behave as a non-Newtonian fluid. You can walk on it. Quicksand is also non-Newtonian, but in a different way. (You can't walk on it ....)

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    @DarrenWalker how can I get hold of your mother?

    I just want to talk, I swear

    You're not unlovable, what a ridiculous thing for her to say. Some people are difficult to love in traditional ways, because they have different needs and different capacity for what 'love' looks like in this society. What you have to do then is love them they way THEY need to be loved.

    Also, for anyone that is curious, the full saying is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' which literally does mean that the love you have for the people you have chosen as your family is stronger than the love for the family you happened to be born it into.

  • [Deleted User]SuperSnuggler2 (deleted user)

    @BuggleBear yes and yes.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Hahaha. Thanks, @BuggleBear. To be fair to my mom, though—the way I need to be loved looks pretty dang evil from a traditional Christian perspective, and I don't think it's her fault she couldn't pull it off.

    I mean. What do you do when you're raised in a religious society that actually believes some people are in fact demon-possessed?

    Think I've found somebody who loves me the way I need to be loved, incidentally. I have a hard time calling what I feel for them "love," of course... it doesn't match any of the definitions I know. Which is actually good for me, since as a romance-repulsed aro I really couldn't be having with this feeling if it matched my ideas about love!

    And my mom, well, I don't dislike her. Actually I think she's pretty cool. More of a dad than my dad, and though she hated me she definitely taught me to be tough. She taught me everything, really: from formal logic to Shakespeare to math to how to fix a bike.

    Not how to love, though. Just... everything else.

    @CuddleDuncan: I've never had black pudding. Sounds, eh... interesting. And I guess for peak amusement the person would have to be in a pool of non-modern, non-cornflour-based non-packet custard. To keep them from walking on it.

    ...Man, that's too much. Maybe blood's the best all 'round after all.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)
    edited February 2021

    @DarrenWalker whatever 'love' looks like to you is fine. If it works for you and the other person, it's all good.

    I guess you could call it an 'affinity', or 'a bonding of minds' or 'disliking someone less than you dislike most other humans', whatever it is, it's valid.

    PS: As a Brit, I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but black pudding is VILE. it's literally a mess of burnt blood and fat, wrapped in sausage casing. Bleurgh.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @DarrenWalker sounds like our mothers could be related if not the same person. Don't ever feel bad about who you are and know that she doesn't decide if you should or shouldn't be loved. It's all up to you. Be that great person who is loving and giving and it will be returned to you because it's what you deserve.

    I don't know about you but I tend to dump negative people like that in my life personally. My mother is not in my life anymore by my choice. But it's best for both of us. Why would I put her through being around someone she dislikes, someone who she can't remember what day she gave her birth, etc.? Nor would I want to be around a person who doesn't see that I exist and am another human being. I'm just around people I respect and love and get the same thing back in return. It can hurt, yes, but I move forward because she can't hold me back. Always move forward and don't let anyone hold you back either.

  • [Deleted User]DarkLordChungus (deleted user)

    @Amortentia

    "Be that great person who is loving and giving and it will be returned to you because it's what you deserve."

    This isn't how reality works.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Amortentia: Thanks for trying to make me feel better! I don't actually feel bad, though. If I ever had the capacity to feel bad about myself, I lost it super early (probably as a coping mechanism) and it's never come back.

    Incidentally, my mom absolutely does decide whether I deserve to be loved by my mom. I mean, what—was I gonna demand what she couldn't give? Am I gonna insist that I deserve it somehow? Naaah. She decides who's worthy of her love, not me—it's her love, not mine. And that she finally managed to give me her love (or something like it) despite still believing I don't deserve it... hey, is there anything more Christian?

    God himself loves a filthy race of human sinners who've all earned death and worse than death, who definitely don't deserve salvation and love. It's super kind of him.

    Can't say I feel bad about it, although I do recognize that the whole thing is really sad.

    That's life!

    I'm not owed love. No one is, no matter how great, loving, or giving they are. No one is under any obligation to love me, no matter how awesome I am or what our relationship is. And you know what? I really am fine with that. I grew up without love—I don't need it. It is nice! But it's not necessary, and even if it were I wouldn't expect people to give it to me. I, well... heh. Guess I just wasn't raised that way.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)
    edited February 2021

    I've cut both my parents and all of my siblings out of my life for being toxic.

    They were doing me so much damage that I couldn't bear to be around them anymore. Sometimes I miss having a family, but it's based on an idealised version I didn't have anyway.

    shrug

  • xandriarainxandriarain
    edited February 2021


  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @DarkLordChungus it has worked fine for me. It's like treat others how you want to be treated kind of thing. In most cases people will respond nicely back if you treat them well to begin with. Some of course don't care about anyone but themselves so there are exceptions and such I don't have in my life anymore so yeah it still works for me.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @BuggleBear sometimes it's necessary. Relationships work if everyone tries. If some don't want to try then there's nothing good and positive there which can then be bad to your health and well-being.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    @squeakytoy I'm sorry, I didn't see you had already explained the meaning of the 'blood is thicker than water' quote!

    @Amortentia I literally have no energy left to deal with my family. I've wasted too much time on them already. Better off without them 😁

  • Rocket_ManRocket_Man

    What a beautiful dog. He is lucky to have such a doting owner.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited February 2021

    I dunno if it's a story of love, but it's definitely one of companionship, and that's close, right? So here goes!

    As a major introvert, I often get peopled out: I'll be talking to somebody and then poof, all my energy's gone and I have no interest in speaking to them anymore because I've gotta go sit in a closet and read for a month. Growing up, this invariably lost me potential friends. I mean, you try making friends with somebody who routinely drops your connection—doesn't even seem to recognize you in the street—for weeks at a time. Doesn't really work, does it?

    So I kinda internalized that I could be casual friends with people, but as soon as I needed a recharge that'd be it: the end of our friendship. Once recharged, I'd have to find new people. And I was fine with this. Who needs long-term friendship anyway, right? Might be nice, but it's not a need.

    And then I ran across @DarkLordChungus.

    He was cool. Inflammatory, you know? He saw I was a preacher's kid and promptly wanted to debate the legalization of prostitution, which I was more than happy to debate with him 'cause I love debate.

    So we argued for a while and he made some really good points and I was impressed—and he was impressed with me, too.

    We swapped Skype names and started hanging out. I introduced him to the Stainless Steel Rat. He introduced me to Cthulhu. We argued a whole lot more. Swapped creative efforts. We even started syncing up movies online and watching them together over Skype. And then, inevitably, I needed a recharge. So I told him goodbye. Been fun hanging out with you, man. Have a nice life. He said okay, and that (I figured) was that.

    But like a week later he sent me a really apologetic message saying he was sorry to bother me but could he, like, keep sending me stuff? Not to be responded to or anything! But, like, stories he'd written or pictures he'd drawn or recordings of him reading stuff—you know, the things he'd gotten in the habit of sharing.

    Nobody had ever done this before. I didn't know what to think of it. Sounded nice, though.

    So I said sure.

    And you know what? When I finally recharged, this dork was still there, waiting to be pals with me again. With me! For the first time, somebody actually stuck around until my power light went green again!

    Man, never underestimate the power of a brother from another mother. Long-term friendships aren't just nice. They're super nice.

    We did live practically on opposite ends of the country, though, so when I moved out of my parents' place it wasn't like he and I could bro up on the couch immediately—I joined this website to get my cuddles, and a while later he did the same thing (but, you know, hundreds of miles away). We just met each other in person... geez, not even a year ago now.

    And man, it's been great.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @DarrenWalker This is my favorite story in the thread so far :smile: Thanks for sharing it!

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Aw, dang. Thanks, @squeakytoy. I'm glad you liked it.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @DarrenWalker that's a really a beautiful story.

    You could make a wonderful film of it. It's so heartwarming. I mean there's even the terminal break in the middle, and we think you're never going to see each other again.... and then it all works out!

    My favourite part of the whole thing, though, is that (assuming it got the Hollywood treatment) you would both hate the film. =) =) =)

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