I'd love some honest perspective...

TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC
in General

I've been chatting with a local enthusiast (new to this site as of April 2021) without a pic, but has this listed in their profile:

No photo = no

I have two pics, one w/my face and another w/my face+full-ish body set to public. So I asked for a pic or two as we are about to start chatting on the phone to see if a meet-up felt right. And here are the two reply I received:

"But assault and homicide rates are highly skewed toward men. And this is about cuddling, not dating. Willing to meet if the chat feels comfortable."

"Women have zero problems finding cuddle partners normally and the men’s quotas at CPs are always booked immediately ...you should read the forums"

I'm stuck on the double standard - I get to see you, you don't get to see me - and just baffled by the references in the same reply about assault, homicide and this is cuddling not dating.

Anyone (especially the super regulars and friends) want to reply and explain these replies for asking for a picture from an enthusiast that requires one before even engaging in conversation?

Please and thank you in advance for your time and input.

Cheers!

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarkLordChungus (deleted user)
    edited May 2021

    She sounds crazy.

  • AngelPendavezAngelPendavez

    I must concur with @DarkLordChungus.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Honestly, it does seem a little weird to say "if I don't know what you look like I won't even talk to you." I wouldn't worry about a pic until I actually needed one to recognize the person I was meeting—like they say, this isn't dating. Now, I do prefer my buddies to be on the plush side (on account of I'm practically a skeleton), and pics do typically show that aspect of a person pretty well... but still. I can always just ask.

    That said, it sounds to me like this enthusiast has been burned before, and is now being extra cautious in the affected area.

    Is there anything about their appearance you really need to know? If so, you could probably explain why it's important, and ask. That way you get the information you need, and they don't have to make themself more vulnerable than they're comfortable with.

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    For clarity, I, the OP, is male and I was messaging a female that made the statements quoted above when I asked for a pic or two...

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    @DarrenWalker same actually, I do prefer soft and curvy, she is listed as fit, so not ideal, but I'm always open to finding more local cuddle buddies and don't tend to discriminate for any reasons except that I don't feel safe or trust their intentions (because they aren't talking about platonic cuddling).

    Just find it odd that they REQUIRE other to have pics, but then react like that when asked for a pic...

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @TouchIsTLC: Eh, think of it as a guy who's been stabbed insisting on knowing where everybody else's knives are, but refusing to let anybody know where he's got his.

    A little nuts from a healthy perspective, but more understandable from somebody who's been hurt badly enough.

    Might be safer to skip that particular cuddle if you're not good with that level of damage (you don't wanna accidentally hurt her more—easy to do when somebody's that raw).

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2021

    This is an aside, but it is not true that women have zero problems finding cuddles. I know several women who cannot get a cuddle at all.

    On the main point I'm with @DarrenWalker. Whatever you do, be kind.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    maybe she got you mixed up with someone else she was talking with , could be her end of rational conversation she’s having with someone else

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    @cuddlerfan pretty sure this isn't the case as we'd just exchanged numbers and made a day and time commitment for a phone call...

    @DarrenWalker yes, I decided to pass... just trying to wrap my head around why those extreme responses from a simple request considering her standard requirement.

    c'est la vie!

    And carry on, I will.

    Cheers and thanks for your thoughts CC folks! HUGS and Happy Cuddling to ALL!

  • pmvinespmvines

    If I am casually chatting online to someone I dont care about knowing what they look like . If we have progressed to the point of chatting offline and talk about meeting up, its reasonable to want to know what they look like simply cus it's nice to be able to put a face with the name of those who you are chatting to .

  • CuddlePrincesssCuddlePrincesss

    I think I have an adequate amount of pictures on my profile but I still get text messages asking for more from people who book sessions from me which I find quite annoying. That being said, I find it odd that she doesn’t have any pictures and won’t share at least one.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited May 2021

    @TouchIsTLC Many women have expressed having bad experiences on here, and so screening for safety is quite important to them. So maybe the double-standard stuff isn't all bad if she wanted pictures first.

    But if you've been chatting enough via messaging to feel comfortable enough to chat on the phone, I'd feel it's a pretty reasonable request to ask for a pic or two. If she still had concerns I would try to allay them, or maybe try asking after you've had the phone conversation. But her response to you was off-putting, which in my experience is a sign of future abuse, so I would also probably pass on meeting up.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @CuddlePrincesss I quite agree that your picture set is perfectly adequate. May I suggest that you upload a couple more super-platonic^ photos and set them to Private? You can then show them to the people who ask. It'll save you time and effort in the long run.

    ^No makeup, hair could do with a wash, wearing sweats, hugging a homeless person. While you're both a bit under the weather, or tired, or just plain miserable. In the rain.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    Pictures readily available here:

    https://thispersondoesnotexist.com/

  • NickoliNickoli

    I understand wanting a pic of a potential cuddle buddy so you are not wrong in asking. I’ve never cuddled with anyone without seeing a picture of them first. Except for cuddles parties, this use to be a thing in New York BC ( before covid ). I would meet up with the individual in public, not my home and further chat to see if you’d like to cuddle. Not sure how to explain those responses, they seem disproportionate to the request that you made.
    Good luck friend :)

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC

    Agreed and thank you all for the comments and feedback. I graciously backed out and wished her well. I definitely avoid any questionable situations and potential drama. My life is very chill and I like to keep it that way, especially in my cuddle time where being at ease, relaxed and calm are the main goals.

    Cheers and happy cuddling to all!

  • AnitaCuddle2022AnitaCuddle2022

    I requested on my post if you do not have a picture to please send one. I don’t think anyone really wants to meet someone without knowing who they are meeting. I try to post real up to date pictures! So far good experiences but can still be a little intimidating meeting new people!

  • doc2633doc2633

    Listen to me closely..... Run do not walk away from this individual...

  • BrianLBrianL

    To quote the great Al Bundy: "Run hard. Run fast. Run like Mexican water through a first time tourist. But the key word here is RUN."

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I would move on … it is only right that she would share Atleast one , especially her wanting to see one to begin with

  • HollydollhugsHollydollhugs
    edited June 2021

    I would think an enthusiast would be okay sending pictures, if the other person also provided them. Seems very odd to me. The only reason I could think of is if she is in a relationship and her partner doesn’t know she does this, then she may feel at risk for the partner finding out. I hope you are able to find someone else close to you @TouchIsTLC .

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs
    edited June 2021

    @TouchIsTLC — The woman whom you were talking to wrote that “men’s quotas at cuddle parties (CP) are always filled immediately.”

    So what is trying to say to you? That you should just go to a cuddle party instead of asking her for her picture?

    I guess I just don’t understand the point which she is trying to make with that “cuddle party quote” in context of wanting a picture of her before having a personal cuddle session between you and her.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @TouchIsTLC , I will only see those who will send a picture of themselves or have a picture online. There has to be something there that she does not want you to see one.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    After having discussions with a couple pros here, on the subject of out-of-control men who become rapaciously aroused during cuddling, I could understand how a traumatic experience could lead to wanting to control identification information such as pictures. I'm still shaking my head over the stuff I hear and I'm not even clear why some continue to venture into it after such experiences, unless it's like a trauma-bonding thing, or adrenalin addiction.

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)
    edited June 2021

    I’m leaning towards what @DarkLordChungus said. A picture let’s me get a sense of someone just as much as their voice does. It creates a sense of safety. No one grabs a stranger on the street and cuddles them. Cuddling is in itself vulnerable. I need to feel comfortable with the person I am cuddling and I think it’s a two-way street. She doesn’t present as warm and welcoming.

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe

    You can avoid the pic if you're only chatting or just starting to chat, but for your own safety, DO NOT MEET WITH THEM until they give you a pic and you see them in person in video call. An exception might be if you first meet them in a public location. Either way, pic is optional as long as you see them in real time over video or in a public place (pics alone can be faked)

    This is the internet. You have no proof that the person you're actually talking to is a girl. It could be a guy, a gang, a serial killer, you don't know. That's why you should verify everyone prior to meeting to cuddle with them. It at least helps lower the chances drastically that it's someone of crazy ill intent. If it is a girl and she is unwilling, that's her issue. You do your due diligence to be safe. See the forum about cuddling and safety, I also talk about things like recording location you plan to meetup in Cuddle Comfort messages, etc.

  • BabichevBabichev

    I find their communication confusing. I’d proceed with caution.

    I have my photo on my profile and so I think it’s fair of me to get to see who I’m chatting with pretty early if the goal is to actually meet and to cuddle.

  • TheNewNovelistTheNewNovelist

    I’ve connected with several cuddles on this site, and all had pictures. I would never agree to meet someone unless they were willing to share a picture.

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