Is it best to wear Cologne before a cuddle session? What do you guys think? 🤔
Only if it makes you smell like mangos, lilacs or strawberries.
Not on the first session because they may be sensitive. Ask them afterward if It's okay next time
Chemical sensitivity is a thing. I might not cuddle someone over a fragrance and I never wear them because some people feel they are toxic. Better to wait.
I try to ask my cuddle buddy if they are ok if I wear perfume or if they have allergies/ sensitivities. I mention that I like cologne.
What @craM and others said.
I'd avoid wearing it on the first meeting. Or ask them when you first speak. It varies from person to person. Though I'd say it may be good to switch it up as well by not wearing it sometimes. Talking about it can also help you two better plan by not both wearing it hence leading to overload or fragrance clash.
I dont do cologne to begin with but I do usually use a good body wash and deodorant, unless of course the person I'm with prefers I smell neutral
No.
Absolutely, categorically, unequivocally not ok.
There are numerous different reasons, each of which are sufficient in their own right.
The only thing you should smell of is you, in a good way. Conventionally this is achieved by applying only the lightest amount of not-too-stinky deodorant.
I'd ask your cuddle partner. Many people are highly allergic to perfumes. And that means perfumed body lotions, hair products or anything else. I even use 'free and clear' laundry detergents.
Chemical sensitivity or not, it's all too prevalent for cologne-wearers to not be aware of how strong their cologne is. My supervisor is such a person, and I'm loathe to tell him in words. Hopefully my tears will clue him in.
@UCpaaHVg6u0 perhaps you could say his cologne is too strong and makes you teary or leave an anonymous note only he can read? That could result in him inadvertently putting on less.
I always ask my potential cuddle buddies if the scents I use are ok. From deodorant, to shampoo, to body wash. I also ask if they would prefer I wear cologne or not, and I tell them which perfumes they should avoid.
@Lovelight I certainly wouldn't want to do it anonymously. I'm not worried so much about it coming from me. I really don't want to hurt his feelings. Perhaps I can phrase it as just helpful info, said to him in private. I suppose a guy would want to know if he was wearing too much.
@UCpaaHVg6u0 firstly, talk to your colleagues and see if anybody has the same view as you. They probably do. Find some allies.
Then, the conventional technique would be for you or somebody to wear just a little too much cologne one day, for some 'special' reason. Take the boss aside and say conspiratorially, 'I have a date after work so I put on some cologne. Do you think it's too much? It can be a bit off-putting if somebody wears too much, don't you think?'
Half an hour later, one of your allies takes him aside conspiratorially and says, 'UCpaaHVg6u0 is a great guy, and I know he has a date tonight, but that really is too much cologne and it's bothering me. I'm loathe to tell him because I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?'
In other words, when somebody has something personal you don't really want to mention directly, locate the same problem in yourself or a willing third party and point it out to them. Hopefully they will then work things out for themselves. You may have to repeat the process a couple of times.
If all else fails take him out to the pub, and say look here I need to tell you something, man to man, as a friend.....
@CuddleDuncan I'm actually way too lazy for all that. I'll just tell the guy. We are friends since before either of us worked there. I think the problem stems from olfactory fatigue, and we are all susceptible.
@CuddleDuncan those are good ideas, though one would have to make sure they trust who they speak with. Or just take out the middle man and ask for feedback straight up that could hopefully send the message and probably don't have to wear too much. Him saying it's not too much could help him get it.
Please, no.
Natural scents seem to be best and less irritating. Just take a shower beforehand
Less than 5% of people have fragrance allergies so absolutely wear a nice expensive fragrance. Being clean and freshly showered is a start. Two well fragranced bodies laying next to each other makes for some next level cuddling. If it’s a problem it takes all of 2 minutes to get a washcloth and wipe it off.
A cologne is absolutely a no for me, I have horrible asthma and allergies. A shower before cuddling is a must, since I also have a sensitive nose. I personally like natural body oils for myself or my clients. I find that very soothing and don't mess with my allergies/asthma.
I don't have any fragrance allergies or anything, but I do have a pretty sensitive sniffer.
That said: if my buddy's wearing something that makes my nasal passages burn, while attempts at wiping the stuff off usually fail (it's like it sinks into the skin or something), moving the cuddle outdoors tends to help.
I’m not allergic to fragrances, but many unnatural ones often irritate me, so I prefer if someone is just clean with no additional fragrance during cuddling. I do the same. It is best to ask if you don’t know the other person’s preference.
I love the smell of men’s cologne, to the point that it calms my stomach. I know that sounds strange, But it always has. As much as I enjoy the scents, cuddling with someone wearing cologne or even perfume could possibly cause breathing issues, especially if it is an extended period of time. I think bathing and deodorant would be sufficient to be clean and fresh and not overwhelming with scents. This is just my take on the subject. 😀
This question has been puzzling me since the opening of the thread, I mean on a conceptual level. Why is the idea of wearing scent (beyond deordorant or shampoo) to a cuddle so appalling? I have thought of two philosophical or logical reasons.
Firstly, we wear scents in public settings. On a date, to a formal dinner, the school dance. A night out with the boys/girls. We don't wear them in private settings, at home. You don't put on perfume for a random Tuesday evening in front of the telly. However, cuddling is a private activity even when done in public, because it is strictly between the people concerned: others are not allowed to join in. To wear cologne to a cuddle is confuse the public with the private. It's like wearing pyjamas to the opera or a ballgown to babysit.
Secondly, the underlying purpose of scent is to attract those we find alluring. Primarily in a mating, or pseudo-mating, context, but more generally as well. We want to look nice, sound nice and smell nice, so that people like us. But once you are in the cuddle, that doesn't apply. The attracting, if it was ever necessary, has already been done. Wearing cologne like showing an advert to a customer on their way out of the shop for the product they have just bought.
From a moral viewpoint, cologne is problematic because it is rude. To wear scent is to impose something on the other person without their consent, and in the context of cuddling - where consent is such a big deal - that is not ok.
To declare my interests, I love a whiff of perfume and wear cologne myself on special occasions. Never on a first date though - if she doesn't like it, you are sunk.
Secondly, the underlying purpose of scent is to attract those we find alluring.
Hmm... I wonder if I could find subtle fragrances to do the opposite for when I'm out walking alone in the evening. Like the smell of stinkbug spray. Or mildew/mold. Or that weird smell of a cat that's just gotten spayed. LOL
I mean, hey, those disgusting BeanBoozled jelly beans exist, right? Maybe there's a market for this too!
Anyway... that's a little off-topic I really like fragrances of all types, but I always assume others don't, by default. So wearing fragrance is definitely not a first-time-cuddle thing for me.
I really prefer no cologne. Its not that I dislike the smell, I just get really frustrated when I have to wash my hair to get it off of me, and all of my pillows and blankets too. I have found that even when I request no cologne people will still wear cologne they think is less strong. I would like to request no cologne plz, as in NONE.
@CuddleDuncan as far as I can remember we weren't allowed to wear fragrances to school especially if we found someone who is allergic to them and had no choice but to stay around. Similar thing can happen in a work setting as well. Which can reduce the chances of wearing it.
Edit: By the way, could similar not be said for dates, that others aren't allowed to join (not always true for either) so why wear fragrances?
I like to wear it ocassionally to social settings, around friends, cuddle buddy, or if going on a date. For me it is not soley about attracting someone or the person I am with romantically. Though choosing to wear the fragrances I like around those I want to. However I ask if wearing it is okay with them or if they've any allergies I should be aware of. If they don't already bring up, I'd ask if the scent bothers too. So I can make changes to accommodate when possible.
It’s so interesting to hear that people wear scent for other people. I wear my perfume because I like it. I enjoy the smell. It has notes of patchouli and elegant, earthy tones. To me it is my own scent therapy for myself and I love it.
No fragances need to be added beyond a very recent shower with as plain a soap as possible, and a good long rinse. Clean clothing made fresh from washing and not from spraying room deodorizer, and no stinky sneakers or shoes. Flossing, brushing and mouthwash complete the preparations 😎 The faintest whiff of Axe Body Spray is a deal breaker 😀
@Chris55555 - I used to wear scents for myself too. Had my own particular favourites. Appreciated them for many years. Then one day I broke out in a red rash, which lasted for a week. Now I cannot wear it nor expose myself to it from others. Just smelling it in the air irritates me. I can't wear clothes or sleep on a pillow laundered in perfumed detergent. I have no problem with natural smells like flower blossoms. I love the fragrance of a citrus tree in flower.
@pmvines not even drakkar noir?