Question on finding out about banned persons

THBearTHBear
in General

This is the first discussion I've started, so please let me if I have done it wrong.
Question: Has anyone ever give another way to communicate with someone outside of the site, then later find out they were banned on the site? Would you bring it to their attention? Ask why? Would you feel this is a red flag and cut ties with them?

Comments

  • MelanieLMelanieL
    edited May 2021

    If they have been banned, then that is a huge red flag. That being said, it doesn’t hurt to ask why.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @THBear you did it just right, congratulations on your first thread!

    Being banned is the very definition of a red flag. However, being banned doesn't necessarily mean you are a bad person. For example, I am good friends with somebody who was banned.

    Sometimes banned people were just having a bad day. Sometimes they didn't have a good handle on what this site is about and made a bunch of false assumptions. Sometimes they needed to learn a lesson the hard way.

    So yes, you should definitely bring it up, very firmly and clearly, and ask what the story was. And you should persist until you have a satisfactory answer. You then have to decide whether to believe that answer, or how to interpret it. People you might want to know are likely to be open and honest and self aware, and people you don't are likely to be evasive or blame others.

  • LovelightLovelight

    I've seen about a handful of people get banned and just about all of them I had an idea of why they would get banned. Or why they got banned. If I had no idea at all and formed a good connection with the person already then I might bring it up to help with my decision moving forward. Otherwise I've no reason to.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2021

    I have remained friends with several banned members . One was a good cuddle friend for a while as she was local and we clicked. They were all pros, who had been banned for things like trying to skirt the payment system , and in the case of one , for having another non platonic vocation involving a video camera that didn't carry over to CC but was still against TOS for it being a non platonic side hustle . None of them are bad people, just made choices that were contrary to the site .

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    I have encountered this situation a handful of times and to be honest none of them ever fessed up to what really got them banned. They say things like “it was a glitch”
    or “the other person was being unreasonable and got offended over nothing”

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling

    I've only messaged one person from here, off site. It was the day we met, I think. We msg fairly regularly, now.

    I've had a few other requests to msg off site. But always declined. Those ppl all got themselves banned pretty quickly, after the request. It's as if they knew, or intended, to violate TOS, the whole time.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    There have been a few people I've messaged that gave me a "something is off" vibe. Shortly thereafter, they all got banned, which wasn't surprising to me. They must have done something to violate TOS or were straight scammers.

    One person DID get banned that seemed normal, and I have no idea why.

  • hugglyhuggly

    A few years ago, I had several lovely (completely platonic) sessions with a pro cuddler. Then she was banned. I was able to find out that she was banned for non-payment of the 12% fee that pros are required to pay to CuddleComfort. So that is one possible reason for getting banned.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    I have friends on fb and Instagram and Twitter and we communicate on all 3.
    It's so weird to me that people act like connecting to someone outside of this site is evil or scary. If you just met someone then sure it can be. But once you're friends and spending time at their house or apartment it seems stupid to only talk to them on here.

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling
    edited May 2021

    @Melancholy
    So ppl you are friends with, hang out with, already trust, have access to you, via multiple media formats. Yeah, and?

    We are talking about strangers on the internet, here. Randomly met through a website. A pretty high rate of those, impose their own agenda, and some TOS violations.

    Those are the ones. The ones that get banned. Those are the ppl we're talking about.

    You do see the vast difference between the 2, right?

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Maully you aren't the OP so you don't know what we are talking about. The OP didn't say it was strangers. They didn't specify anything of the sort. So yeah obviously you wouldn't give a stranger your real info.

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling
    edited May 2021

    Ah! Ok.

    OP didn't say they'd met, either.
    OP didn't say that a friendship had developed, or that they'd even had more than one communication via other means.

    No hint was given about any of this.

    I didn't realize you and OP were having a separate private conversation, with the rest of us only seeing the visible interactions in this thread.

    If that's the case, then your judgey proclamations of "weird", or "stupid", may not be out of place. Without additional info, it just sounds defensive.

    Peace, out.

Sign In or Register to comment.