I think "virtual cuddle" is a cute marketing term for "having a digital conversation with a person who is being extra nice to you". The latter would be far more accurate in my mind, but it's quite unwieldy.
Note: I don't think "virtual cuddles" are a bad thing. Whatever helps one to feel nice and all of that. I'm simply unconvinced that it's actually cuddling. Because of the lack of physical contact with another human.
Hm. You know what? I'd be willing to accept that virtual cuddles are closer to cuddles than not, if those who think they are also concede that lewd/salacious cam shows count as fornication—or are as close to fornicating as virtual cuddles are to cuddling.
@DarkLordChungus ditto
I think "virtual cuddle" is a cute marketing term for "having a digital conversation with a person who is being extra nice to you
@DarkLordChungus now, you know I will join you in a glass of fermented enemy-marrow juice whenever you like. But on this point, I regret to say, the spirits of wrongosity have alighted on your shoulders and poisoned your ears with wrongnessitude.
Cuddling isn't primarily physical. (A true cuddle involves a significant physical element, obviously)
Proof: imagine two rooms, A and B. You have a free choice.
In Room A, a person you intensely dislike and despise. They are under a magic spell, and will cuddle you as if they like you, and, indeed, want a favour from you. Consequently your favourite cuddle activities will be fully satisfied. Other than that they will be their normal self.
In Room B, a person you love and who loves you. They are under a different magic spell, and will die a lingering and painful death if you touch. Other than that, the two of you may do anything you wish to simulate or create the benefits of a physical cuddle.
In order to feel cuddled, which room will you choose?
I've never done a lewd or salacious cam show, so I can't really draw a comparison. But yes, I suspect it's probably quite a good analagy - virtual cuddling is to real cuddling, as cam shows are to real fornication.
@CuddleDuncan
I will have to consider this question for some time. I thank you for asking it.
@DarkLordChungus @CuddleDuncan since I put myself kind of in the middle of this, I decided to again give my unsolicited 1.99 cents. They are very unique and extreme situations but here we go: Room A: I would not cuddle someone that I thoroughly dislike. Room B: I would go in, but wouldn't feel cuddled. I don't need a lot of social interaction, oftentimes just being around people at work is enough for me. However, particularly during specific times in my life, I was literally starving for a hug - let alone a cuddle - and only the real thing helped. Don't get me wrong, please, I can definitely see benefits of a virtual cuddling, but personally I would not be enough for me.
I've done it. It is great.
I've had a virtual cuddle recently with someone in the UK and it was a lot of fun! Highly recommended it even if you're just bored and looking for someone to talk to.
I've been struggling a bit with coming up with a response. The issue, I think, is that we place different values on what makes up a cuddle. For me, it's 50% physical and 50% emotional. You might place a higher value on the emotional side of things, and there might even be another aspect when it comes to what constitutes a cuddle in your mind.
People will feel differently about this. I mean, it should be obvious whenever virtual cuddles are discussed here. Some people will "get it", and that's cool. But for others, it will seem like an incredibly sappy term that fails to accurately describe what's going on between two persons.
I'm in the second group. Maybe it's because I'm not a very emotional person.
@CuddleDuncan: As I understand it, you're arguing that a cuddle has two basic aspects—the tangible and the intangible. Yeah?
On the tangible side, you get two people touching, sitting or lying right up next to each other, putting their arms around each other, etc., and on the intangible side you have the serotonin and dopamine and what-have-you produced by your limbic system, dancing merrily across your brain, fizzing down your spine, and so on.
Which is the most important part of a cuddle? Well, uh.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm gonna compare it to getting drunk: which is more important, tilting a container of alcoholic liquid, pouring the fluid into your face and swallowing it down, or the dopamine release, mental impairment, disinhibition, etc?
It depends on who you ask, doesn't it—what they're after, and how it's actually possible for them, specifically, to get it.
If, in Room A, I could drink all the alcohol I wanted, any drink I felt like in any container I fancied, but I'd never get drunk... well, dear me, I'd pick Room A over Room B, where I take a pill or something and am instantly impaired, every time!
Virtual cuddling isn't cuddling for me.
Me, I've gotta have the tangible part or it's just not a cuddle for me, no matter how cared for I feel—and, on the other hand, even if I don't feel any of the happy hormones I'm after, so long as the tangible part's there it's still what I'd call a cuddle (albeit not a very fun one).
But that's me. I know it's different for other people, so... why not call taking the impairment pill "virtual drinking"? It's not real drinking. But if the results are the same for enough people (or at least similar)....
[shrug]
Hey. Why not?
Thank you all for your feedback and it has been great to read so many diverse opinions thoughtful comments. To respond broadly to the points made with my own views (not suggesting these are 'right'):
I am not in any way arguing that a virtual cuddle is the same as a physical cuddle.
My sister loves my cat (stay with me here!) and is happy to watch her when I'm away, therefore I don't pay a cattery to take care of her. But others do and it's a valuable service - one I might at another time pay for if say I moved to a different area, my sister wasn't available, or maybe my cat was taking medication and I preferred to pay a professional for that responsibility rather than stress her out - and I see all types of cuddling the same way. It's not something that everyone wants or needs and that is totally valid, I'm not here to push anyone to try virtual cuddling just like I wouldn't for regular cuddling!
Virtual cuddles can provide some of the same mental and physical benefits of cuddling through different means, and some people have clearly enjoyed that which is great to hear.
I agree that 'virtual cuddle' sessions could use a better name. I tried to think of one a year ago but I genuinely never came up with anything that came close to being accurate that didn't also end up sounding like a joint masturbation session so I gave up! If someone has ideas please shout.
While there is clearly a huge variety in what happens in a virtual cuddle session, as @mare_bare pointed out, a virtual cuddle is not automatically just a chat session. My profile has some info about what's involved in my virtual cuddles and I'm sure any pro or enthusiast who offers them would be happy to tell you what a virtual cuddle with them is like so just ask if you're unsure.
I think equating any kind of cuddling with other services doesn't really do any of them justice. Cuddling, virtual cuddling, massage and psychotherapy are four distinct activities with their own skills, goals and methods even though there may be some crossover. Not everyone feeling the need for a cuddle would view something like a massage as an appropriate alternative/upgrade, even if it were cheaper. A cuddle of any kind is not a substitute for a massage or a therapy session, but that doesn't mean that cuddling is a lesser version of these, is not worthwhile, or that one dictates the price for another.
Yes it might be true that virtual cuddling can seem to cuddling what porn is to sex. But porn is pretty popular!
Again thank you to everyone who took time to answer the poll, leave comments, and those who reached out with questions - it's been lovely chatting with so many of you near and far. However you enjoy your cuddles I hope you find lots of them ❤️
I find virtual connecting fills an emotional need, whereas actual cuddling fills my physical needs bucket. It activates a primal pleasure reward center in my brain to rub my cheek against someone’s shoulder. Some of the best times I have had cuddling were silent. But virtual connection is heavy emotional/conversational work.
@Chris55555 I love the idea of physical and emotional needs buckets, I'm now thinking of the activities in my life and at what levels they fill each ☺️ I agree that physical contact with another human is something special of it's very own, and I can completely see the emotional/conversational work aspect of virtual (a year of video calls has left us in no doubt of this!), particularly if you don't already know someone. However in the situation where I'm being hired for a virtual session I do everything I can to take on the lion's share of that work myself, and I would hope that was true of any professional. For instance in the first virtual cuddle meet (at the very least) that I have with someone I 'lead' the session almost like you would for an exercise class, so that they can focus on their own relaxation, particularly while building up trust and comfort with me.
@GracieGirl you make a good point. I am an enthusiast, not a professional, so I only see it from my point. When I cuddle someone it’s because I am exchanging connection fairly evenly and we are appreciating eachother’s physical presence. No one does the heavy lifting. No one is motivated by any outside reward other than the touch itself.
I can see how building a connected relationship virtually can work well. And have done so in the past. But I still longed for physical touch.
@Chris55555 Oh definitely! I started as an enthusiast after just stumbling across a Gumtree post years ago (is Gumtree still a thing??) so I totally get you xx And yes 100% on physical touch, as a tactile person even outside of cuddling not being able to have that contact this last year has been torture!
I've tried a virtual before, and it was very nice. However, it wasn't quite what I was looking for. If I need someone to talk to, I can call a friend, I can even talk to a random stranger to some degree. But what I'm particularly lacking is touch. I can't just phone a friend for that, lol. Well I suppose I could try, but they would probably think that I was joking
Since a virtual 'cuddle' deals more on the mental/emotional approach rather than physical, having a pre-existing connection is probably more important. I can see virtual cuddles helping those just totally lacking any place where they can speak without judgement.
When cuddling with someone in person, atleast for me, it feels like the conversation aspect is a nice bonus that improves the experience, but I'm mainly there for the physical act of cuddling. Having a great mental/emotional connection does, however, greatly affect the cuddle. In hindsight though, since I only cuddle women without any valid reason other than "it would be weird to cuddle a man", maybe it is a little more emotional/mental than I care to admit.
If cuddling has a "significant physical element", but you remove that "significant element", is it still cuddling? Or is it a shadow of cuddling, an imitation?
For example, if you have a pizza, but you remove a significant portion of the ingredients, is it still a pizza? Say you remove the dough from a pizza, is it still a pizza?
It a dumb idea lol . There other site that do webcams for littel to no money.
Depends on the person, can be fire 🔥, otherwise can be mundane and pedantic.
Welcome to the forums, @edwardzzz. I'm afraid you're a bit behind the curve. This thread not about the idea of virtual cuddling: it was established some time ago that virtual cuddling is a good idea in appropriate circumstances. This thread is primarily for collecting the views of those who have done it, and educating those who have not.
It's interesting that almost all of the negative comments are from people who appear never to have had a successful virtual cuddling session.
@BrianL that is why we are fishing for a new name. 'Cuddle' conjures up in people's minds a physical activity, which obviously this is not. It therefore can sound, as you suggest, a bit like a pale imitation. However, that's not what it is. It's something different. A film is not a pale imitation of a play, and we don't call it a virtual play.
I have done and it's nice to talk to a person if you have not met yet, kind of getting to know them a little. And I find it nice to chat with ones that I have cuddled in the past. I personally think some of the rates are higher then I would pay, that's just my 2 cents on it.
To me virtual cuddling is like virtual car racing. A. Sitting in your chair at home driving a Formula 1 race car on your computer screen . NOT Moving B. OR Sitting in a Formula 1 race car burning down a track at 350 kph. The RUSH would be insane
Sorry A . does not cut it
OK I got a little carried away :-)
@hawker69 Completely agree! Whereas I love driving games but don't even have a licence to actually be on the road. So it's great to have options for what everyone likes ☺️
Ask them if they would think it's a good replacement for real driving.
@Melancholy I certainly wouldn't ask them that because I just agreed that it wasn't the same thing, and I'm not trying to persuade anyone who wants physical cuddles to have virtual cuddles. I understand and respect anyone not wanting them for themselves but it seems a lot of people are angry they even exist despite the fact that others find them helpful and enjoyable, and that nobody's access to physical cuddles is affected by them. I wish you lots of cuddles and happiness x
Sorry to bring back an old thread but definitely want to put my two cents. For me, I would like to do a virtual session before booking an in-person session.
Don’t get me wrong, I purpose for me being here is to get physical affection.
Though I prefer virtual first because I generally like to converse with a cuddler and get to see what there about and if I even feel I will be up to want to meet. It is the moment I can determine the vibe (over used word) and if the cuddler is serious about this world.
I also love to chat and give context about this interesting world of cuddling. so for me they are preludes to a greater moment.