After cuddling, my cuddle pro wants to text message me a lot - is this normal?

cuddlebuddy5000cuddlebuddy5000
in General

Hi, so after booking my first cuddle session... my cuddle pro has been in pretty regular contact with me. She said I can let her know if she's bugging me and she'll stop - so that is fair.

I just wonder... is it because she likes me as a person or is she trying to work me as a customer and make sure I keep coming back?

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this common?

I want to think we made a connection, but I don't want to be gullible/naïve and participate in an insincere/one-sided friendship.

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Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Could be both. Just put on your adult hat and ask, “Are you messaging me because you consider me a friend, or are you marketing to retain me as a client, or is it both?” If that is too bold, pass her a note while cuddling.

  • cuddlebuddy5000cuddlebuddy5000

    @FunCartel I asked her that already, she said it was sincere and that she likes me.

    But if that is what she was doing, would she really tell the truth? That's why I'm looking for an outside perspective or to see if it is somewhat common practice.

  • Cessna_guyCessna_guy

    Take her at her word until you have reason to believe otherwise.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @cuddlebuddy5000 "Like me as in go on dates and possibly be in a relationship. Or just as in I am a cool client."? You need to get more clarity on that.

    Most of all follow your gut instinct because you know this situation you're dealing with in ways we don't.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    Just curious why she didn’t leave karma.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    It certainly is one of the pitfalls of professionalism.

    In my opinion when money is involved it is best, and safest, to assume that everyone is smiling because they are being paid to.

    There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you don’t mistake it for genuine, deep emotions.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CharlesThePoet Don’t remind me of my Heidi Fleiss affair

  • cuddleaddictcuddleaddict

    I wouldn't push it or think too much about it. Some people are just into texting a lot, just as some people are hooked on doing daily Facebook entries. Think you'll find out in person if it means anything.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    IME this is not uncommon. Sometimes pros want to be friends.

    Of course it can lead to slightly awkward situations where you seem to legitimately be friends with someone, but then also you pay to spend time with them sometimes. I have had a couple situations where I believed someone was arranging a regular non-paid hangout and then they brought up payment. This is a really unfortunate miscommunication.

    But really it’s not that big a deal if everyone is a mature adult. She probably just wants to talk.

  • b0nfireb0nfire

    In my experience, I like making friends with people I cuddle and staying in touch. 😊And as a woman and also as a pro, I don’t lie to folks unless it’s an extreme life-or-death kind of situation. It sounds to me like she likes you as a person and just wants to talk. Seems to me like you don’t have much to lose either way if you enjoy talking with her, but since you asked and she answered, it’s only fair to assume she’s telling you the truth.

    But if you don’t want her to talk to you, for any reason, you don’t owe her your communication and time just because she texts you and says she likes you. Your experience, whether “normal” or not, is what you make it.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @FunCartel ”put on your adult hat” 😂😂😂

    I think snuggles make you feel connected! Even if it started professionally. The only thing you have control over is YOU! And your feelings. Checking in with her is certainly top priority.

  • Chris04Chris04

    If she likes you get free cuddles if not then she traying to work you has a customer.

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

    Start changing her for your time.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Are you hoping you guys made a connection? Have y’all made plans outside of cuddling (or even cuddling) where she didn’t charge you for her time after the fact?… After answering these 2 questions (to yourself) you will know the answer.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @cuddlebuddy5000 she likes your money if she really like you she won't charge you also she can sleep over with you

  • RezzRezz
    edited June 2021

    I'll respond as a pro who does check in on her cuddlers.

    I'll text a day or two after to see how you're feeling to make sure there's no feeling of sadness or loneliness some may feel following a session. I may check in a week or two later too because I genuinely care..

    But I'm very careful about anything that can feel excessive to avoid giving the wrong signals or impressions. She has acknowledged that she may be texting too much so she could have felt a connection as a friend or she's trying to get you to book again by maintaining constant contact.

    If she's pushing for you to book her again, that friendship is a monetary one.

  • PrinceDonPrinceDon

    I haven't been here long and I've only been with one pro but she did follow up with me a couple of times after. Made me feel nice. I just assumed it was a follow-up and not because she liked me. Didn't really think much of it, but I did appreciate it. I like her so I wouldn't mind chatting with her if she were to continue. I liken this whole thing to just being friends. After all, it is a platonic relationship.

  • Lovetolaugh2Lovetolaugh2

    Be VERY short with your responses if uncertain how to address it (all the suggestions above). Also, don't respond to texts right away. Give it a few hours, and don't apologize for the lag in time. Don't divulge any info about yourself. On your next cuddle, state you are fine with no texts between cuddle sessions.

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    She could genuinely like you as a client. But as others have said, it's just being nice to a customer if you are paying.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    It can be therapeutic to check in on a client after a cuddle session, but trying to have a dual therapeutic/personal relationship with a client may be unethical. If you both want to change your relationship from professional–client to friend-friend, you might want to think about that carefully and, if you both feel the same way, agree to a time period of no contact before you start that friendship— and not go back to being professional-client.

    She could be doing aftercare and/or drumming up repeat business, both of which can be done ethically.

    I agree with @FunCartel about asking, “Are you messaging me because you consider me a friend, or are you marketing to retain me as a client, or is it both?”

  • [Deleted User]APV (deleted user)

    I've never had a pro want to text me a lot per se. The most texting any pro has done with me in between sessions, UNrelated to booking next time, is birthday and holiday wishes. I do like it, but it's not something I'd ask of a pro, especially not if she will charge me more money to do so.

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe

    The content of the text message may help. Is she just checking up on you, or is she asking you more personal/friend questions like "hey what's up, how was your day, etc?"

    In general, if she wants to see you again and cuddle with you, you could ask her, are you wanting to cuddle for free, or are you asking to cuddle at your normal rate?

    I've had pros message me on here and say they'd love to cuddle with me, I say thanks, and then let them know I'm primarily only looking for free cuddles at this time. They tend to say thanks, then move on / no longer message me.

    If she is wanting money for cuddles still, then she may like/feel safe with you as a cuddler, at least enough where she would consider cuddling with you again. But whenever money is involved, as others have said, assume it's business-related then. It reminds me of another site....one which I won't name directly, but where girls will advertise or pretend to like people so they can join her social media or paid online pages (like a patreon or other subscription or pay per session type scenario). Again, if money is involved, assume some/all of it could be business smiles, and be wary some of it may not all be well intentioned. Though I presume on this cuddle site, if people share something as personal as a cuddle, intentions are better than some of the other aforementioned sites where it's all digital communication with someone you've never met in real life.

    If you paid the first time and now she is willing to cuddle for free, that probably means she likes you and may consider being a friend or get into a relationship with you. Or she really likes cuddles and hasn't found other people she can trust. Switching from the standard $80/hr to free though is telling. That said, if the option is available, you could switch, but you should check in with yourself to see how you feel. If you just want cuddles and aren't interested in a relationship, you should be upfront and let her know that.

    Since we're not 100% sure how she feels, as someone mentioned, put on your adult hat and ask. You could just preface it with "hey, I appreciate the offer for free cuddles, it appears like you might be romantically interested in me. (and then proceed to explain how you feel and what your expectations. Then ask her what her expectations and wants are.)". A lot of relational hurt comes from miscommunication, so being upfront and clarifying expectations on both sides is the best policy if in doubt. Sadly, many people aren't great at communication and some run and hide when conflict/misunderstandings occur, but it's good practice and imo a necessary life skill to gain for developing solid relationships.

    If you find one person wants something more and the other person doesn't, then you may have to revisit whether the other person can handle keeping boundaries and keeping things platonic, if they can't, then you should break it off.

  • cuddlebuddy5000cuddlebuddy5000
    edited July 2021

    @cuddleYouMe thank you for the thoughtful answer

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)
    edited July 2021

    I’ve seen a number of pros charge for texting. The pro in question here isn’t charging OP for the messaging. I would take the facts at face value. She seems comfortable interacting as both a pro and a friend. I know a lot of men would welcome the attention. The combination seems harmless as long as there is a clear understanding on both sides.

    But human nature is to push in one direction or another. And people start to get illusions sometimes, which can be a complicating factor. So it’s likely not sustainable.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    If that pro not asking how your day going and not trying to link up normally minus monetary cuddling you should already know what it is.

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    It's hard to change from monetary cuddling to mutual one but it can happen I been lucky twice from it. Takes some charm, swagger and some form of mental stimulation

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @timetocuddle07 not 🦁 !

  • CozyWolfyCozyWolfy

    I dont know what her intentions are and can only speak from my own experience.
    As a demi-cuddler I need to form a emotional connection to enjoy cuddles.
    So depending on how deep the connection is I do text back and forth quite a bit and like to form a friendship :)
    I wouldn't expect my pro to not get paid for her time cuddling with me because I considered her a friend just like if I had a friend who was a mechanic I wouldn't expect her to fix my car for free.

  • DebbieRNDebbieRN

    As a pro, I like texting my client before we meet, to get to know each other a bit before we meet. Helps us both to feel comfortable when we do meet in person.

    Afterwards, we usually keep in touch also. Some on a daily, more personal basis. Some, every few days.
    The ones where we chat daily, it's because I think they are lonely and we made a connection. We've become good friends. It's completely genuine on both ends. However, they are still my clients and pay when we meet.

    I'm thinking, if she's texting you, she felt a connection with you and wants to be friendly with you. However, I'd suggest you still view her as a pro, but perhaps a friend too.

  • PrinceDonPrinceDon

    @frogtide ... That makes perfect sense! People often get it backwards but you nailed it. If someone is your friend and a mechanic you should pay them their regular rate because they're your friend...not expect a freebie. Omg! That's their business. That's their source of income.

    As far as other responses go, I don't know, when I put my "adult hat on" I don't freaking ask people questions point blank. That's so third grade. I like you do you like me? What are your intentions here?... Boo! When I put my adult hat on, I take it as it comes and see how it goes. If it's meant to be, you just know. Otherwise you just assume that a business provider is being nice because they want to cultivate a business relationship. This happens in most businesses. Cuddling shouldn't be any different. The girl at Chick-fil-A told me it was her pleasure to serve me. Does that mean she wants to date me? Absurd.

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