Exceptional Hugs

JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart
in General

Among my circle of friends, I have a few who give hugs that go beyond the kind that seem like the person is merely discharging a duty.

Last evening I received the kind of hug that I value highly. I was conversing with a young friend, and we were sharing with one another about our journeys of growth. We've both experienced profound depression and we are both in the process of finding new joy in our lives.

She is one of those people who occupies the daughter-space in my heart, and when we ended our conversation and said our goodbyes, she wrapped her strong arms around me and just held on for a minute. Then, she said, "I love you".

Considering the brokenness I've experienced in the past, I find it amazing that I can now offer something of value to someone else, and that I get to experience such a profound gift of gratitude.

Who else has gotten a hug that will always be in your collection of treasured memories?

Comments

  • JazzyPantsJazzyPants

    Wow! That is really beautiful and so well shared. "Profound gift of gratitude" needs to be stitched on a pillow.

    I have felt that...actually in session. I was seeing a regular client (who unfortunately has moved) and when I hugged them, I do not know what came over me but I had an emotional release and started weeping. I did not know I even had it in me, however those feelings I could not detect were bubbling up underneath my cool, calm exterior.

    On the flip side, I have a few friends who see hugging as discharging a duty, again, love the way you phrase it, I believe for those individuals, they are touch adverse and the action of hugging leaves them feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Unfortunately, they have not come to terms with the idea of consent and still worry they will be seen as RUDE or UNFRIENDLY if the do not participate in the obligatory hi-hug.

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)

    After 12 years of being away from Tanzania, I was able to return to visit my close friends. One close friend who I worked closely with met me at the airport. I saw them at the airport and we both immediately went into the longest, tightest, most satisfying hug I have ever had. Since I had known for a year I would be seeing them and saving for a few more years before that…I had time to envision the reunion. That hug was epic for me.

  • LovelightLovelight

    That's awesome! :)

    I got two hugs I could describe as essentially exceptional. I don't want to use exceptional too loosely, though they were pretty good. Although I am not too sure about their experience, I was held until I was satisfied. And I felt connected to them enough not to feel like I had to let go after a second or two. One of them was someone I met here and the other I used to know in person. 😊

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    JazzyPants, in regard to the emotional release of tears, there are a couple experiences I can share. The first was at one of the lowest time in my life. I was in an institutional setting related to my mental health, and I was experiencing extreme touch starvation. One of the nurses came to take my blood pressure. She was one of those rare people whose genuine care was very clear. As she placed the cuff on my arm, I was reduced to deep sobs, simply because another human being was touching me.

    The second experience was just a month or two ago, at my most recent session with a cuddler from this site. I'm in a much better place than I was in the first experience, but there is a part of me that has been wanting to process some of my past losses in a safe and caring environment. The provider is one that I'd seen several times, and have come to trust. During our session, I had her play a couple songs that I knew would unlock my emotions. When the tears came, I experienced profound healing, as she silently allowed me to feel accepted and cared for. It's an experience I'll never forget.

    Chris55555, I love what you're describing here, and I can relate to how it must have felt. I'm so glad you had that experience.

  • fegoniafegonia

    I used to go to a monthly music event and the woman who ran it is the best hugger I know. She's very good about asking people if they are a hugger or not, and if they are a hugger, she gives them a lovely tender but strong hug. Her hugs are not a lukewarm 2-second pat on the back, she puts attention into the hugs, and to focusing on the person she is hugging. She puts her hands on your back and slowly squeezes you closer together for a nice long time.

    I am not the most comfortable with hugging people in greeting, but over time with this woman, I learned how to relax into her hugs, and even to start hugging back more. Her hugs have helped me on my journey of learning to touch and be touched.

  • happybearhappybear

    i tell everyone a good standing hug isn't the 2 second hug with the 2 pats on the back but a strong full fledged hug for at least a minute or 2 or longer to have the hug reach therapeutic levels. breathing throughout and allowing each to hold and be held is a great way to say we are here together and set the pace for a relaxing cuddle .

  • [Deleted User]Snuggler21685 (deleted user)

    Actually one of the best hugs I ever got was from a perfect stranger that was part of a group giving “free hugs.”

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    The most amazing hug I ever received was not from a parent / sibling / gf / cuddle buddy or friend, but from the cousin of my cousin lol 😂 … this dude is so loveable (if that’s even a word) super caring, he gives you the most loving hug in the world I really can’t explain it, you feel like you’re enveloped In a bliss full of pure love the way he embraces you when greeting you … it had been maybe 10 years since I last saw him & his family & he drove up for the weekend & I came across him very randomly & again, pure bliss of such a nurturing hug, & than introduces you to his wife / wife’s family & kids individually making you feel like you’re sooo special in this universe … come to think about it if he was ever to become a part of the cuddling community he would be extremely successful! 🌌

  • pmvinespmvines

    Oops . I saw this title and thought it was about me . Carry on

  • mtpmtp

    I've received many great hugs, but one immediately comes to mind: from a college friend who I hadn't seen or spoken with in over 15 years. She and I had joined the same fraternity* as part of the same pledge class, so there was certainly a lifelong bond formed, but I wouldn't say we were especially close, and after graduation life took her to a different part of the country. With few brothers in her region, it was difficult for her to stay connected.

    *In case of confusion over pronouns here: our fraternity welcomes all genders. Everyone is a "brother".

    Some years later a group of us (fraternity alumni) gathered in a rented beach house, starting what became an annual vacation for an extended network of friends. The fifth or sixth time around, I was happy to see that unexpectedly my friend was planning to join us! I wasn't sure what to expect when I next saw her, though. What's the right way to greet someone you don't know that well and haven't seen in 15 years?

    Well, her answer--before I could say a word--was to surprise me with a hug that squeezed most of the breath out of me. It must have lasted half a minute or longer. I couldn't have hoped for anything better. (Later that week we spent an hour or so cuddling, too, easily one of the best parts of the vacation.) It made me so happy to reconnect and feel like the length of time we had been apart didn't matter.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @pmvines ... you da best! 😁

  • ZacRedBearZacRedBear

    Walking through a mall in high school, a random woman a bit younger than me stepped out from her group of friends and held her arms out for me. I had never hugged a stranger, or used hugs for a greeting, so I was equally confused and alleviated when I let myself walk into her for a hug. It felt like we were friends that hadn’t met for years it was such a good hug!

    While walking away I heard her say to her friends, “All we need is love!”

    Then my friend with me asked who she was, and I just smiled wide and shrugged, “No idea!”

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited June 2021

    It hadn’t occurred to me until I read this question that it was through a long hug that I finally came to terms with the fact that I wanted to be with men. Up until then I had been plagued with confusion about my attraction to men, and by almost 16, I had gotten to the point where I knew I needed to know who I wanted to be with. I went through the est training and got to know some gay guys in my cohort. I was invited to a graduation party at the home of two of the gay guys, a couple. There was one guy in particular I liked, and he was there. I should mention the interesting fact that my dad drove me to the party and stayed as my chaparone. At the end of the party, my crush and I shared a long, tight hug, right in front of my father. It was not sexual, but it was electrifying. I went to bed that night hugging my pillow tight to my chest, wishing it were him. It was then that I knew in my heart without a doubt that I loved men. [Edited for strong language.]

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    @ZacRedBear that was so sweet!
    I’m that person or was that person that hugged strangers everywhere I went that’s prior to Covid!
    I’m a hugger, not a hand shaker person so blah!
    I never missed cuddles before the pandemic hit because I could hug one and all. Now having serious withdrawals 😭

  • ZacRedBearZacRedBear

    @nurturingman Seriously had me going, “Awwww!”

    @Melomaniac9 At first I thought you meant that you were literally the girl from my story 🤯 😂 Hopefully you can get your fix soon!

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @nurturingman Awesome self discovery and acceptance!!! Thank you for sharing experiences.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    Thanks, @JoyfulHeart , for starting a beautiful thread, and thanks everyone for keeping it positive!

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Thank you @nurturingman for your contribution!

    I just scheduled another session with the provider who helped me feel safe enough to cry. Although the session is a month away, it gives me something to look forward to, and I know it adds a dimension of joy to all my other social interactions.

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    @ZacRedBear awww 😂😂 but now at least I know how all the strangers I hugged felt 🥰 I wasn’t THE girl in your story but in a girl in multiple such stories 🥰🥰

  • sillysassysillysassy

    OMGOSH...... I am literally sitting on the couch (being pleasantly diverted from my homework) and I have tears! What a beautiful thread. Thank you @JoyfulHeart for starting this and sharing your experiences. Its not everyone who is willing to divulge intimate information in order to help others. THANK YOU!!!
    There are so many beautiful moments listed here..... I LOVE IT!!!! @pmvines you are so silly!! Maybe you ought to update your user name!! 😂😂😂

    @Chris55555 @ZacRedBear @Melomaniac9 such stories!!

    I remember a time that I was meeting a new to me cuddler (who shall remain nameless) after we had been talking on here for awhile. The day of the meet had finally arrived. We had said our hellos and were walking toward a restaurant for coffee. He stopped my RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET and said "I just need to hug you right now this second" We stood that way for quite a long time with really good squeezes and it never ever got weird or awkward. It felt so good that he was just bursting with appreciation and ready to hug that even oncoming traffic wouldn't stop him! (it wasn't a very busy street so don't worry for our safety) I will remember that moment for many moons. Thankfully enough we had a few fabulous cuddle/coffee days after that and there were LOTS more hugs involved!!!

    😊

  • 22cuddle22cuddle
    edited July 2021

    I'm reading this thread trying to recall my last really good, genuine hug. The kind of hug where you don't feel pressed for time all, and you could pull back to talk or put your hands on their cheeks or vice versa, and then even embrace again still not worrying about a time limit. I've been hugging normally of course, but as far as real deal hugs it's been a long, long time. I put my airplane neck pillow on and just started to tear up... I know I'll meet some nice caring people on here soon though, I'm looking forward to it 😊

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @sillysassy "I just need to hug you right now this second." I hear you! I have felt that way before and gone in for intimacy spontaneously like that— with at least a verbal warning that gives a person a chance to say no, if not a request for consent. It's great when that happens.

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    @sillysassy @22cuddle @ZacRedBear
    I couldn’t figure out how to get the GIF on here but

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    As an infant I had an intestinal issue which rendered me temporarily constipated. Because of this and my meticulous natural neatness, that period was known for my exceptional Huggies that were as clean as a poodle in bleach. When the problem was fixed I distanced myself from that proclamation as people distanced themselves from me. I am regular now but I no longer wear huggies.

  • Maverick07Maverick07

    I am a hugger by nature and/or culture, but I just cannot think of the most memorable one...!
    Well, the most recent, strong one happened last year when a work colleague left to another job. Our offices were side by side, we often had shared projects and got along really well but never did anything social outside work. When she came to say good-bye, it was such a nice, tight hug... and her being another shy person like me, she said softly "that was nice" when we finished. She's such a sweetheart.
    Look at my profile pic!! - A hug without "u" is just toxic ("Hg")!
    Huge hugs!!

  • soulfulspiritsoulfulspirit

    At work I was introduced to a sub-contractor that was addressing the data conversion to a new software. HR drills into our heads what is and is not appropriate for the office. She greeted me with a big hug as that was her nature, being a kind hearted Texas gal. I could not hug her back!
    Next time we meet I knew the hug was coming but could not hug her back. The third time, I hugged her like I never wanted to let go and she knew it. We became great friends and had the most amazing trust for each other. She vowed we would always be friends and two and a half years later when the project was over, I became a member here. Although we were just good friends, I miss her dearly as we don’t communicate like we use to. Her life has changed with her new SO and he is not accepting of my friendship. She was and will always be the best hug I have ever received. I could tell when her body would just go limp and melt with acceptance. 🤗🤗🤗

  • 22cuddle22cuddle
    edited July 2021

    Thank you @Melomaniac9 hugs

    @Maverick07 and @soulfulspirit those are great stories about an environment that can really grind down on us non-touch averse men. It's good to hear that in those cases, humanity won out over HR in the end lol

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Reading the responses here makes me glad that I decided to post my question and share my own examples.

    Somehow I was reminded of my very first session with a professional cuddler. I was working throughmy nervousness, and letting her make suggestions for what to try. Near the end of the session, she had me lie so that I could hear her heartbeat. I remember the unexpected and profound emotions as I relived a memory that I was only subconsciously aware of: the memory of a time when all was safe, and when I had not yet experienced grief or sadness.

    The experience of human closeness is so profound and multidimensional! It's amazing when we find a way to experience some of that depth and dimension.

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