maybe the cuddler thought he has poison ivy
Saying no is okay. Though the timing and the reasoning or lack thereof can influence whether or not one wants to accept an invitation at a later date. At first the post came off to me as her canceling last minute which is different than her just changing her mind without there being a plan to meet soon. Does she have a right to simply say no and that be respected either way? Absolutely.
Will I be more inclined to accept (and less hurt by) should s/he reach out again, if one says: "Hey sorry for the (last minute) cancellation I had some things come up, so I wouldn't be able to." Or: "I am feeling uncomfortable (with so and so), so I can't make it." "Sorry I had things come up that I can't explain, so I'll have to cancel."
Or the one who simply says: "No. I don't want to meet you."
And which type of rejection would you rather get? A bit more detailed rejection that takes your feelings into account. Or a cold no? I'll let you be the judge of that.
No without a reason is enough as a bare minimum. However rejection that's not carried out with care and consideration, may be more likely to burn bridges. And it is better not to do that unless one felt disrespected or really uncomfortable with something that they can't even begin to voice and have no interest whatsoever of wanting to be with that person ever. Either way, I will respect a person's decision to not proceed. If it was last minute and especially with a cold no, I'll feel disrespected, some loss of trust and chances are I'll want nothing to do with that person. Unless they rectify the situation if they reach out again, then I may consider. Either way, I'd much rather someone reject then show up unhappy with me.
I would never request really much of anything.
I think nobody really knows if they want to do what you like until they see you. It is probably different depending on the person and chemistry.
Something I learned during a cuddle party: "A no to one thing is a yes to something else" The yes may not come from the same person, but I believe it will come.
For example, when my ex left me, that was a no. It really hurt at the time, but today I have friendships and emotional health that I never would have had if she had stayed. Her no became the biggest yes of my life.
“Keep in mind most of the people I have spoken with on the site have been totally OK with this.”
This should NEVER be a reason that somebody should be expected to consent to anything. I consider this post questioning if she is rude for changing her mind to be rude, not her decision to change her mind.
As a new member here this post makes me question whether this site is even a place I want be, fortunately from many of the responses I can see this is not the dominant attitude of people on this site.
@fwd ~ Well said and I FULLY agree with you!
There are a lot of varying opinions here, but luckily one doesn't have to go searching to find those who put a premium on consent!
And welcome to CC!!! 🤗