Can somebody cuddle from a distance and have an interesting discussion instead?

CAKCyCAKCy
in General

Is there such a thing as "virtual cuddling"? Two people meeting on Mars and feeling the cuddling while talking to each other? I'm not interested in physical cuddling as much as an intelligent conversation with a person. Does this make sense to anybody or am I just being weird?

Comments

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Why call that cuddling ??
    That's just making an online friend and chatting or messaging each other :)
    Done that for years before I even knew about platonic cuddling.
    I don't know why people keep calling it virtual cuddling.

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    Thank you for your reply!
    I guess I'm just being weird then.
    Though chatting and messaging feels different than hugging or cuddling ... even if it's a virtual action, an action in one's mind.
    I'm sorry about your melancholy....

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @CAKCy ~ Not weird to me!!

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @CAKCy Nope @ “am I being weird?” … I totally get it … infact, I feel that most people here seeking cuddles aren’t cuddling enthusiasts at all … and I believe that most on here fit in one of 3 categories - (Single & or unsuccessful at dating / partnered & not receiving emotional or physical intimacy / or heart broken - feeling down - trying to fill that void) … I don’t think anyone on here ever searched or looked for a cuddling community outright, I think we all came across it through a search, stumble upon it or heard about it & now all of a sudden we feel we’re cuddling enthusiats … those 3 categories mentioned above all lead to loneliness which leads to a desire to feel that closeness from someone, & this seems like the most promising places … (are there exceptions to this? Ofcourse (my disclaimer to people who will find a reason to feel & get offended) but is this my opinion wether right or wrong? telling you any different & I’ll be lying to you ☺️ have a nice day 🌌

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    Well said @cuddles_ndream.

    I am one of those people who stumbled upon cuddling and alternative touch therapy (ATT) while single and heart broken and looking for connection to other people, especially friendship, in both a physical, mental and emotional way.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I appreciate you! @NicoSnuggs

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @quixotic_life Thank you!
    @cuddles_ndream Thank you for the extended reply! I wouldn't call myself a "cuddling enthusiast" but in my weird (or not) mind, it feels different talking/chatting with someone while both have the feeling of "holding each other", even if that was just a virtual action. It gives the feeling of closeness/intimacy that one needs and one cannot have for many reasons, the most simple of which, is one likes to feel close / to cuddle with a person at the other end of the world. Thank you for your insight and my wishes for a great night/day to you too!
    @NicoSnuggs I think that what matters the most is the emotional side of things. The feeling of intimacy/closeness of a virtual cuddling is (or should be) a "bonus" to two people attracted to each other because of their minds.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @CAKCy this is not weird or just you, it is an established practice and I entirely agree with your comments. Quite a number of professional cuddlers offer it, usually at a little more than half their in-person rate. I have advised a number of professionals on getting their virtual cuddle practice started. Note that some well-meaning (and otherwise sound) professionals don't really know what they are doing in this area, so talk to them about it before booking a session.

    We do call it 'virtual cuddling' although it's not a very satisfactory name. Better suggestions welcome! Use Google to search the forum, it has been discussed a number of times. (Use my username to help you find the right threads.) Some of these threads include suggestions of what you might do to replicate some of the benefits of a physical cuddle.

    A virtual cuddle is emphatically not the same as just a chat. Sometimes people claim that it is, but this is false. They either don't really know, or aren't doing it right. For a start, talking (beyond the bare necessities to run the session) is not required for a virtual cuddle. You can certainly do it as much as you want, but it's not necessary.

    It all makes more sense once you recognise that cuddling is not primarily a physical activity (although obviously the physical aspect is very important), it is primarily an emotional one.

    I was going to write a guide to virtual cuddling but I didn't as the end of the pandemic hove into sight. However, the end doesn't feel like it's getting closer at the moment so perhaps I should anyway.

    @cuddles_ndream I don't always like your posts but I liked that one.

    @Melancholy FYI

  • MarkB21MarkB21

    "No such thing as a virtual cuddle. By definition, cuddling is in person with physical contact. Calling a conversation or Zoom meeting cuddling is a way to get people to pay them to talk to them." -P.T. Barnum

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @MarkB21 if you read my previous post you'll note that I mentioned that we could do with a new name for the activity. Any suggestions?

    I don't understand your reference to payment, when I've virtually cuddled with other enthusiasts nobody pays anybody.

  • LovelightLovelight

    As long as you are upfront about it/not leading someone on, you do you!

  • LovelightLovelight

    @MarkB21 "cuddling is in person with physical contact." I agree, cuddling is. Virtual cuddling isn't in person with physical contact. A tour is in person, virtual tours aren't. The list can go on.

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @CuddleDuncan Thank you for your reply! I'm glad you agree with my perception of "virtual cuddling" and I'm glad to know that it's in the menu of what professional cuddlers offer in their services.

    I don't really care about the name. All I know is that a lot of LDRs would have much better possibilities of survival if they allowed themselves to feel the closeness with each other while being apart.

    A chat is just a chat. If one allows one's imagination, or emotional openness to feel "physically close" to the other person, the scene is entirely different. Apart from what is being said there is also a flow of emotions from one person to the other giving them the stimulation for the hormones to start flowing.

    I will dare say that a physical cuddle where one or both of the participants don't really feel their actions and act like robots is a complete failure, since, as you say, the act of cuddling is primarily an emotional one.

    One can close their eyes and feel themselves holding their shoes and walking on the beach, feeling the water wetting one's feet, seeing the footmarks one leaves behind, looking for pebbles that are interesting to pick up... It's a process of the mind that can create emotions (and/or reactions) in one's world very similar to the actual physical acts.

    @markb21 Thank you for your reply! For one to be able to feel the virtual cuddle (or whatever you want to name it, with the permission of P.T.Barnum) one has to have the imagination and emotional capability to do so. There are people who exist and act entirely in the physical world and its boundaries. And then there are the daydreamers....

  • CAKCyCAKCy
    edited July 2021

    @lovelight Thank you for your input. As I said higher the "virtual" aspect of anything depends on the imagination and emotional capability of one to feel what is virtual as real. One can feel awe looking at the Colosseum in a virtual tour as powerful as if one was there. Other people prefer to touch the stones or take pictures.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited July 2021

    @CAKCy exactly. For me, it is not as great as the real deal. Though, I suppose there exists people for whom it is.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    Every time this topic comes up, my mind goes back to these awesome virtual hug shirts: https://cutecircuit.com/hugshirt/

    I wonder if it'll ever take off.

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @Lovelight it all depends on how much one allows one self to delve into it. It may surprise someone how powerful virtual reality is. On the other hand, one can totally miss the experience if one keeps reminding themselves that "this is not real", "this is not real" :)

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @squeakytoy Thank you for your angle! The virtual hug shirt is something in between a totally virtual act and an act where physical signals are sent to the sensors of the shirt. In the case of an abstract virtual hug the mind has to do all the "work". In the case of the shirt the mind is assisted by the skin sensors having the actual feeling of being stimulated.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @squeakytoy ~
    "I wonder if it'll ever take off."

    Um... Pretty sure taking it off, even in a virtual session, goes against the TOS... 😉

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @quixotic_life

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Virtual cuddling makes no sense to me til this day. U better off talking to a family member or some friend and video chat mutually

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @quixotic_life Ummm... I'm not sure what TOS you refer to?

    @timetocuddle07 Thank you for your input! As I said higher, for one to be able to feel/experience/understand what virtual cuddling is one has to have the imagination and the emotional capability to do so. This is not valid for all people. If one can find oneself immersed in the words of a book where the author describes a scene, a series of actions or the environment one wouldn't have a problem experiencing virtual cuddling.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life
    edited July 2021

    @CAKCy ~ Terms of Service or Terms and Conditions
    Both get used on here.

    Here's the link...
    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/terms/general

    You'll see them again when PM'ing someone too...

  • CAKCyCAKCy

    @quixotic_life Thank you for the trouble. I read them. I saw the light!

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